Chapter 1
Have you ever encountered a wild animal with a friendly expression and a relaxed demeanor? As I was passing by, I came across one that appeared menacing at first glance, covered in signs of danger. I wanted to run away out of fear, but then I realized it wasn’t pursuing me. It didn’t growl or make any threatening gestures. This made me question why I was running when I wasn’t being chased. I paused and observed the animal, feeling curious. It looked back at me and asked if I needed refuge. I replied that I didn’t, as I was guarded and had always been that way. The animal said that someday I would need it, so I shouldn’t go too far. I dismissed its words as nonsense but decided to stay nearby, just in case.
Though we belonged to different species and seemed incompatible, the animal suggested that compatibility was a matter of choice. It explained that societal standards determined our compatibility with others, but we could create our own standards. This notion resonated with me, so I remained cautious but open. The animal invited me to join its family as one of their own. However, a formidable foe, its worst enemy, suddenly appeared. This enemy triggered the animal’s painful memories and caused it to regress to a state of hurt and vulnerability it had long tried to overcome. This time, it turned to me with a frightening expression that communicated, “Leave this place.” I stood there trembling, questioning whether I truly knew this creature or if it was just a stranger. Where was the safe space we had promised each other? Where was the welcoming face I had seen initially? Where was the sweet voice that had drawn me closer?
The animal declared that I was no longer welcome in its home but could exist as a neighbor. The pain of this rejection was excruciating. It felt like being granted access to someone’s bedroom without having to knock, only to find myself relegated to observing their house from afar, obligated to request permission for entry. The situation was deeply distressing. I realized that I didn’t even have to remain as a neighbor; I could simply pack up and leave, as being its neighbor would be even more painful. Yet, I chose to stay, placing blame on the enemy who had invaded and disturbed the beautiful garden we had begun to cultivate. However, I understood that the animal only cherished the superficial beauty of the flowers, neglecting the importance of nurturing their roots or preparing for the harshness of winter. This realization filled me with profound sadness.
