05 GAIDEN: DEVIATION

The twins sat in the back of Jeremy’s Ford Ranger as he pulled into the parking lot of the Canton Township Ballpark. Jeremy Hunter was a massively overweight guy which caused him to stand out in any crowd. The seatbelts in his truck couldn’t fit around him. The twins met him last week on one of their trips to Islay’s after work. The first time they met him, he gave them extra lunch meat. He said he wanted to give a little extra to customers in hopes it would keep them coming back but he could only do it if he was alone. The twins understood but each time after that they were always surprised when he did it. That first day, he struck up a conversation with the twins that lasted awhile which was until Jeremy got off work. The three of them grabbed dinner together at Osso’s.

The park had the set up for a baseball field but there was no fence outlining the outfield. It gave enough space for a pickup football game. There were already fifteen or so people in the grass either stretching or tossing a football around. Once the truck stopped the twins jumped out over the sides of the truck.

“Darren wasn’t kidding when he said he could get people,” Ryan said as he slipped off his shoes and put on his cleats. He put on his old high school football jersey. He tossed the white one to Riley.

“I was imagining he’d get like three or four people, not a goddamn full roster,” she said.

“Sup guys,” Darren said running up to them. “I got some guys from Trinity and Canon-Mac to play with us. That taller guy over there goes to Pitt now. He might be able to give you some advice or something since you’re going there.”

“Yeah, I’ll have to ask him,” Riley said. “He’s cute too. Well built from the looks of it. Looks like a farm boy.”

Darren waved his hand. “Kody! Over here!” The guy jogged over with a welcoming smile spread across his face. That smile grew once he got a good look at Riley. His smile was almost childlike in appearance and feeling. “These are the twins I was telling you about. Riley is the one going to Pitt.”

“Nice to meet you. I’m Kody Luginbuhl.” He gently shook Riley’s hand. It didn’t actually look like their hands moved at all, unlike the firm handshake he gave Ryan. The twins’ hands were dwarfed by Kody’s big thick hands.

“Have you taken a tour of campus?”

“I know my way around a little bit.”

“If you’d like, we can meet up and I can show you around some more. Show you all the best places for food, drinks, where everyone hangs out.”

“That’d be great.”

As the two made plans, Ryan and Darren walked into the area that had been marked off for their game. Ryan recognized a few people who played football for Trinity and Canon-Mac. A few remembered him.

“Why did Landry start and not you?” one of Darren’s friends asked.

Ryan shrugged. “Probably because his dad gave a lot of money to the athletic boosters. He wasn’t that good and I often beat his ass at practice.”

“He was a cocky bastard,” another guy from Trinity said. “I didn’t like him.”

“Not sure there were any who did,” Ryan said.

They divided themselves into teams. The twins were on the same team as Jeremy and Darren. The other team got first possession. Ryan’s team threw the ball downfield to act as the kickoff. The returner, one of Darren’s friends, evaded everyone and scored.

“Well...shit,” Ryan said. He looked to Darren as the two lined up as kick returners. “Should we repay their kindness?”

“Damn right, we should.”

The other team threw the ball downfield. It hit the ground in front of Ryan and bounced into his hands. He took a few steps forward and then took off to the left just as someone dove for him. He noticed a lane of blockers and cut back toward the right. One person approached his blindside but got hit by Jeremy. That block sprung Ryan from the mass of people. He ran up the sidelines toward the end zone. He slightly turned his head to see someone on his heels.

Oh shit.

Ryan pushed himself to run faster and was able to reach the end zone before the guy could touch him.

“Fuck yeah, man,” Darren said.

The teams went back and forth scoring and the players were much more open to attempting unorthodox plays. That was mostly due to the fact it wasn’t a real game and there weren’t any coaches there to tear them a new one for it. At times, a ball carrier would just be picked up and held in the air instead of tackled. Kody did that to Riley on several occasions. She couldn’t hide her enjoyment of it. She returned to the huddle trying to hide her smile.

“Having fun?” Ryan asked.

She nodded. “I think my time at Pitt just got better.”

The twins rode in the backseat of Steven’s silver ’94 Oldsmobile while Wayne rode shotgun. They had just pulled into the parking lot of the bowling alley where a group of other people stood around their vehicles. The twins were surprised to see Jeremy standing with the group. The group consisted of mostly guys with only a few girls. The girls weren’t getting much attention as the guys were focusing on the cars in front of them. One was a red Toyota Celica, another was a red Honda Civic hatchback and the third was a white Honda Del Sol.

The three owners leaned against their respective cars. The Celica owner had his arm around his girlfriend while the girlfriends of the Honda owners sat in the passenger seat of their respective cars. Most people in the group were talking to the three car owners. The grins on their faces showed they were enjoying the attention.

The twins made their way to Jeremy who was smoking a pipe.

“Hey,” Ryan said. “I didn’t know you smoked.”

“Yeah, I just started not too long ago. Normally it’s cigarettes but I’m giving a pipe a try. Word of advice, don’t smoke snuff. The plexiglass in it hurts like hell.”

“Never planned on it but I’ll keep that in mind.”

“So, how’s it goin’?” Riley asked.

He shook his head. “Same as usual. Just standin’ around bullshitin’ with my buddy Corbin.” Corbin was the complete opposite of Jeremy. He was thin but not from working out. He was skinny because of a high metabolism. His whiskey hair, while hidden underneath a Pittsburgh Steelers hat, was short-cropped and stiff. He gave a welcoming nod to the twins.

“Boyfriend girlfriend?” Corbin asked.

“Brother sister,” Ryan replied. Corbin’s head slowly cocked back just as the corners of his mouth stretched out his lower lip. Ryan waved it off. “Don’t worry about it. We’ve been called worse.”

“So, what you two up to?” Jeremy asked.

“Just enjoying some time off,” Riley said.

“Nice. I’m actually surprised to see you here. I didn’t think this was your type of scene.”

“We’re friends with Steven and Wayne and we rode along with them. To be honest, we don’t really have much else to do. What usually goes on here?”

“Nothing really. We just stand around and talk. Somehow it always goes back to street racing.”

“Street racing?”

“Yeah, some of these guys like to race each other. They’re always talking about racing people. They also get pissed if you make fun of their cars.”

“Their cars don’t look all that impressive.”

“Yeah, I’d expect something nicer like a Dodge Viper or something. Not some rusted-out Honda Civic.”

“Don’t let Antonio hear you say that. He’s very sensitive about his car. Actually, Paul is too.”

Ryan waved off the warning with a chuckle. “I don’t really care about them so it doesn’t matter to me.”

Riley looked around. “So, is this all that you people do here? Just stand in a parking lot?”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

The twins were closer to the Del Sol. They could hear him insult Antonio and his girlfriend. Most of his remarks were about the girl and how much of a slut she was and the giant gap between her teeth.

“I’m not understanding why they’re hanging out here if this guy is insulting the other guy and his girlfriend. If they don’t like each other then why bother coming here?” Riley asked.

“They used to be friends,” Jeremy said. “Then Paul ended up fucking one of Antonio’s exes and it went downhill from there. The reason they both continue to come here is because they’re friends with the same people and everyone hangs out here.”

“What? They can’t make new friends?”

Jeremy shrugged.

“Apparently there’s no one else around that will listen to their boring racing stories,” Ryan said. “Aside from the Del Sol, the other two cars look like they’ve seen better days. The Civic looks like a run-down rusted-out piece of shit.”

Paul, the Del Sol’s owner, snapped his head in Ryan’s direction and then grinned. “Hey Toni, this guy over here is talking shit about your car.”

What the hell?

“What was that?” Antonio said. His eyes shot through the crowd and focused on Ryan. “Did you say something about my car?” Everyone now was focused on the two. They even cleared a path for the guy to approach Ryan.

“Funny how you automatically believe the guy who fucked your girlfriend.”

“I’ve never seen you before so what do you know?” Ryan just stared at him. “Exactly. You know shit. You and your gay ass yellow Steelers shirt.”

Well, that had nothing to do with anything.

“What I do know is that your car does look like a rusted-out piece of shit.” Everyone reacted as though Ryan had just said the worst thing possible.

“I’d like to see what you drive since you’re over here sayin’ shit about my car. Wanna back it up on the strip?”

“I don’t race.”

“Then shut your mouth ‘cause you don’t know what you’re talking about.” The guy turned around to walk back to his car. “Fuckin’ retard comin’ over here talkin’ shit he knows nothin’ about.”

“Ah shit,” Steven said.

“I was just surprised that your car is considered fast. Is everyone else here that slow?” Antonio stopped and turned around.

“Care to repeat that?”

“Why? Didn’t you hear me? I’ll say it so you can understand. YOUR. CAR. IS. SLOW. Are those bald tires you’re using Mexican racing slicks?” The crowd started laughing. “Did you find it in a ditch at the border and then drive it up here? If you’re gonna brag about a car being fast then at least make it look nice on the outside too.”

“Looks aren’t everything. It’s the inside that counts.”

“Is that what you and your gap-toothed girlfriend tell each other?

The crowd erupted in surprise. The guy’s girlfriend jumped out and stormed toward Ryan but Riley stepped up next to her brother. She pointed at the girl.

“Don’t bother because he’ll make you cry too.”

“Who the fuck do you think you are? You come up here insulting everyone.”

“Wrong. Just you two. Your boyfriend was the one that started things with my brother.”

“Your brother? You’re fucking your brother? Can’t you find someone else? I bet you’re still virgins unless you two actually do fuck each other.”

“Ah fuck,” Steven said.

Riley looked at her brother. “This bitch really just resorted to an incest joke.”

“Maybe it’s because she’s an expert in that area. I mean look at her. A face like that can only be the result of incest. Which do you think happened? Brother and sister? Mother and son? Or Father and daughter?”

“My money is on father and daughter. She’s probably a hayseed too.”

“She doesn’t even have to completely open her mouth to suck dick with a gap that wide. She only has to smile.”

“You guys need to learn to respect others.”

“I’ll fuck you up,” Antonio said.

The twins burst out laughing much to the dismay of Antonio and his girlfriend. Ryan shooed them away as they merged back into the crowd next to Steven, Wayne, and Jeremy. Antonio fuming, relented, and returned to his car.

“What was that all about?” Jeremy asked.

“You just witnessed the Black Twins,” Steven said.

Antonio got into his car and revved the engine. Suddenly, loud popping noises shot from the exhaust. The twins dropped to the ground covering their heads while Steven froze in place. Wayne grabbed Steven and shook him a bit.

“Hey, come on. Snap out of it,” he said. Wayne determined Steven was a little better when he started blinking regularly. He knelt down to the twins. “Both of you. It’s fine. It’s just a car backfiring.”

Steven recovered and took control of his breathing. He saw the twins still on the ground with everyone staring at them.

“Ryan! Riley! Calm down. It’s okay. There’s no shooter. It’s only a car.”

“What’s got them freaking out?” Antonio asked walking up to them.

“The four of us are Liberty Falls survivors,” Steven said. There was a collective gasp from everyone around them.

The twins rode in the back of Jeremy’s truck as they pulled into the drive-thru. Jeremy had used Armor All on the bedliner of the truck. It made the plastic slick so that any time he turned the crew in the back slid to the side. Corbin rode in the back with the twins as another guy named Matheny rode in the front. The three of them preferred the back of the truck with the night air being as warm as it was. Matheny was a redneck in almost every sense of the word. He talked with a twang, and wore a camo baseball hat, T-shirt, work boots, and relatively tight jeans that if he gained any weight in his legs then he’d have to get new jeans. He was another from Claysville like most of the people who hung around in the parking lot. He was a senior at McGuffey and planned to become a state trooper. Like Jeremy, he had a contagious laugh that made the twins laugh at any time. He often laughed any time he made fun of others. His style of making fun was never malicious and the tone of his voice made it obvious.

Jeremy backed his truck into the drive-thru because his driver-side window was broken, or so he claimed. The twins waited in anticipation to see the look on the workers’ faces.

After the standard greeting, Matheny gave the order. “Yes, I want two McChickens, two McDoubles, and three number twos. All of them with Coke and are super-sized. On the McDoubles, I don’t want any McPickles or McMustard. Only McKetchup and McOnions.”

Everyone else tried hard not to laugh out loud. Riley buried her face into her brother’s shoulder to muffle her laugh. They proceeded through the drive-thru in reverse. The cashier’s face looked like a computer that was slow on start-up. She didn’t appear bothered by the strange sight. She accepted the money and sent the group to the next window. The manager at the pickup window looked at the group in disgust.

“What are yinz doing? I should call the cops for causing a disturbance.”

“What disturbance?” Matheny asked. “The driver-side window is busted and we saw there were no cars in the drive-thru.”

“You should’ve come in.”

“If there were cars in the drive-thru then we would’ve.”

“Whatever. Here.” The manager tossed the bags at Matheny and almost dropped the drinks into his hands. “Don’t come back here again.”

“We’ll see you next time,” Matheny said as he rolled up the window. The group ate the food at Wolfdale Park after their glorious victory.

“So, Corbin, how’s things with you and Plum Crazy Purple?”

“Who is Plum Crazy Purple?” Riley asked.

“Corbin’s ol’ lady.”

“You got a girlfriend now?”

“We only hang out but nothin’ more than that.”

“Oh, she wants you bad.”

Ryan thought back to JiaHui, wondering how she was doing and wished she was still around. It hadn’t been very long since they split but he still wanted her next to him. He didn’t like not having anyone. Riley was meeting Kody more often and it appeared those two were going to start something. It wasn’t just sex he was wanting; he wanted more than that. He wondered if his time with Tessie and JiaHui spoiled him.

“Have we met her before?” Riley asked. Her question pulled Ryan out of his thoughts.

“I think you have,” Jeremy said. “She drives that purple Pontiac Sunfire. She’s fat but not as fat as me. She’s best friends with Antonio’s woman Dina. They’ve been friends for as long as I can remember. I’ve known them both for a while.”

“We’ve all been at McGuffey together since grade school,” Matheny said. “Ol’ Plum Crazy has been trying to match Dina since Dina lost it during our freshman year.”

“You mean Dina lost her virginity when she was a freshman?”

“It’s what I said.”

“And Corbin’s new woman has been trying to get with guys since then?”

Matheny nodded. “And with no luck that I know of. So, Corbin, I’d be careful around her. I don’t know if she actually likes you or is just wanting to lose hers. I mean if you want to just get laid then by all means but if you want a relationship then you may want to figure out what she’s after.”