Chapter 1
Isabella Wright scrolled through her phone, swiping right on any guy she found attractive. Growing up, she always dreamed of meeting some gentleman in a coffee shop or book store and he'd sweep her off her feet and they'd live happily ever after.
She was no stranger to depression and dark days, however. Her mother was an addict, leaving her to the care of her grandparents. Isabella never knew what it was like to have a father, as she was the product of one-night-stand and her grandfather was an alcoholic who was hardly ever home.
Isabella, who preferred to go by Bella, wanted to change her life. She was still living with her grandparents and had never been in a real relationship. She had never paid boys much attention. You could always find her nose-deep into a new book or writing her own. She had her passions and felt that men had nothing to do with it.
But she couldn't deny that she felt lonely. All her friends were finding love, and her heart ached to be loved like the girls in the books and movies she loved so much.
Ding.
She had a match. Rick. Bella smiled down at her phone as she sent the first message.
Hey there, how's it going? She was still learning how to get a man's attention. She must have done something right because he responded almost instantly.
Great, how about you? :)
The two texted back and forth for a few weeks, getting to know each other a little. He seemed like an open book, ready to answer any questions she had for him, and always knew just what to say to brighten her day.
One night, Bella was working late as a waitress at a local cafe. She closed the door of her old 2003 Chevy truck and took a deep breath. It was summer, so the night was warm, and the sky was surprisingly clear. Feeling a little bold, she texted Rick.
Do you know what I've always wanted to do?
What is that?
Look at the stars with someone.
She locked her phone with little hope of it going anywhere, but she wanted him to know she was ready to meet.
Why don't you come over? I'm out in the country and you can see the stars perfectly out here. Bella felt blood rush to her face as she fought a smile. Shifting her truck into drive, she took off onto the interstate and headed into middle Georgia.
Rick lived a bit further away than she had expected, but she didn't mind the drive. It gave her time to clear her head and relax. Pulling into the driveway, she felt her heartbeat quicken as she realized she has no signal and only an eighth of a tank of gas. If this went south, she was screwed.
Knowing it was too late now, she took a deep breath, held her knife close, and stepped out of the truck.
Rick met her with a friendly smile and kind, dark brown eyes. His hair was short and dark, his skin a natural tan. Having just gotten off of work, they were both dressed rather casually. Rick led her to the backyard where they sat on an old swing set.
What was supposed to be a few hours of stargazing, turned into an all-nighter of getting to know each other deeply. By the time Bella pulled out of his driveway at seven the next morning, she felt something in her chest. She had always been told that when you meet the one, you'll know. Despite this being the third date she'd ever been on, she felt like Rick was it.
She spent the next few months, spending as much time with him as possible. Christmas of that year, only six months after their official meeting, he moved in with her and her friend. It didn't take long before the two had their own place and even adopted a dog.
Some say they moved too fast, others say they didn't move fast enough. Honestly, it doesn't matter. They moved at their own pace, going with what felt right. About a year after their meeting, he proposed.
She said yes. They got married, and two months later, Bella discovered she was pregnant. It was a shock and a blessing to both of them, as they were sure at least one of them was infertile. Nine months later, they welcomed their first baby boy, Jackson.
Everything was looking great for the couple. Rick had a stable job, and Bella couldn't be happier as a stay-at-home mom. It was all perfect; every girl's dream.
Until it wasn't.
The saying 'nothing good lasts forever' is painfully accurate. Her mother always warned her that men can be tricky and to always be careful and wary around them. Put yourself first, always have a plan B. Bella took her advice, but like most girls, she had to learn the hard way.
It all started when they got their own place. Bella developed some mental health problems from the trauma in her life and would have daily panic attacks that would last hours. She would lock herself in the bathroom with only her phone, a pair of headphones, and her knife. Laying on the cold, hard bathroom floor she would sob uncontrollably until the panic attack went away and she would be fine for a few hours before another one hit.
Rick knew what was going on, he struggled with panic disorder himself. However, he ignored these moments. Playing the game or watching tv, because he simply didn't want to deal with it. Bella didn't notice that what he was doing to her was wrong at the time. So they stayed together.
Once she got pregnant, it got worse. He ended up out of work for two years because of health complications, leaving them to live with family. He avoided her most of the pregnancy because of the hormones.
"It's just too hard to deal with her. You don't understand." He would say when people asked why he wasn't with her. No matter what Bella said, he would call her dramatic and emotional, telling her she was imagining most of it and falsely accusing him of things like abuse and neglect.
Rick would watch porn sometimes multiple times a day. When Bella found out, she begged him to stop and told him he could have her whenever he had the urge. They tried it, but she found out he was still watching it despite them having sex multiple times most days. So she gave up on that and the depression started.
Bella still never saw the red flags. She loved him with everything she had and then some, giving her whole self to him. Sacrificing her sleep and peace of mind if it meant making his life easier and making him happy. She was always prepared to go to war for him, no matter what it cost her.
That is, until one day. One fateful day, almost two years into their marriage. She had been texting people online, trying to make friends since she felt so alone. Her friends and family said he wasn't treating her right, but she always defended him.
"He's just stressed."
"I mean, I can be dramatic."
"I guess I was being emotional."
"I'm mentally unwell, I probably just don't remember it right."
The excuses were endless. So was the abuse.
One random day she woke up and they had a rough day. He refused to watch the baby and expected her to take care of everything, including their new puppy while he worked and slept. She texted one of her online friends about it, frustrated that he wouldn't watch their son for an hour or two so she could grocery shop in peace.
"Babe, he doesn't love you. You don't treat someone you love like that." At first, she didn't believe it. But the more she thought, the more she realized.
They were all right.
He was emotionally abusive and took advantage of her. Despite what he said and promised, it never matched up with how he treated her.
"Of course I love you." He'd insist while ignoring her crying herself to sleep.
She felt a pain like none other as she realized that she no longer knew the man she was married to. He was nothing like the man she had originally married and now she spent her days feeling unloved and uncared for, giving up everything and receiving so little.
Bella knew she had to do something about it. She couldn't let her son watch her be treated like this. All she craved was happiness. To feel the feeling of safety and love like never before.
The more she fought for it, she always fell short in his eyes.
One day, she had had enough.
