Prologue
You know when you're watching over tapes of your childhood as get this icky feeling at the bottom of your heart, not your stomach, to the thought of how your family suddenly fell apart?
"What happened?" you ask yourself..
You either come across one of your cousins that no longer speaks to her sister.. or an uncle who no longer is part of the family because of his choice to marry outside of your culture.. or simply because he stole some form inheritance.
"What happened?" that everything became so eery that family outings aren't the same anymore, and a plan almost never makes it out the "LOVE" family group chat.
Consider me a fairly spiritual person who makes sure she attends a guided meditation whenever she can. the more guided meditations I attended, the deeper I accessed within myself.. to discover that I'm someone who is extremely triggered by certain audible notes, that I start hearing ringing patterns that communicate the feeling that requires work.
I am no magician.. it works. Music works in communicating an emotion that even a child can comprehend..
Needless to say, I occasionally come across playlists that contain a certain tune that brings me back to that feeling..
"What happened?"
As I look at the side of myself I lost with Covid. The careless, free, young, side of me that gave no shits about others' opinions.
The reason I choose to bring this up is to clarify how big of a moment it is to finally find a platform to communicate what I have in my mind, away from a community I know.
My therapist suggested it.. You see she diagnosed me with Impostor Syndrome. Like any other case, I often tend to feel pushed back by myself to communicate the creative side of me to the world that many once LOVED. No one ever stopped me from creating any work.. I just learned to be lazy. The lazier I got, the more afraid I grew of my creative freedom.
In prologue to whatever this is.. I tell you. this is my space. This is where I exist. This is where I speak. No competition. No judgement. Just freedom of speech.
In exercise of my creative freedom.
