Forward
"Where the hell were you?"
I close my eyes and suppress a sigh. Can I do it again? Lie to him with a straight face for the thousandth time?
He's looking at me with an expression of impatient anger.
"Where?" He repeats, his voice has raised several octaves now.
"June. I was with June," I'm mumbling. This angers him further.
"What were you doing?" Not a question, a demand. Where were you? Who were you with? What did you do?
I want to tell him. I want to look him right in those deceiving blue eyes and say it, the truth, but I can't. There's an evil man behind those eyes. I'm not afraid of losing him anymore, I haven't been for a very long time. Now I'm just afraid of losing myself.
I'm afraid of him.
"Drinking, no doubt," he scoffs. "Surprised you managed to make it back in the door, you lush."
I have been drinking tonight - not with June - but his implication that I can't handle much booze is annoying. I know he's just trying to get under my skin about my father completely succumbing to the will of the bottle his entire life. It's always been his mission to convince me I'm predisposed to turn out exactly my father. So stupid.
"Anything else you think I should know before I find out about it later?" He asks. He's taken a step towards me, closing the small gap between us in the bedroom. I can feel my heart jump into my throat.
"Hmm?"
My whole body's trembling and I know he can tell. I'm quite sure at this point that he derives a disturbing pleasure from my terror.
I'm frozen before him with fear, but I manage to shake my head just enough for him to understand. He nods once in accceptance but is still clearly brimming with anger.
I'm about to ask him if he wants to just smoke and go to bed, talk in the morning but my phone which is still in his hand pings.
He looks at the notification. He looks at me.
I can tell from his face exactly whom the notification is from. My head spins, I feel all the colour drain from my entire body. Everyone in this apartment building can hear my racing heart, can't they?
He laughs. It's a sinister, mortifying laugh that makes me shudder.
"Oh, I'm going to fucking kill you."
