Teenage Love

I’m Mia, I’m 16 years old now and I want to tell you the story of my life.

It was summer, just the beginning of it. I felt completely broken. Just finished my 8th year of high school, and felt like I had no friends, just one. So lonely, that I smoked like a 30 year old in the 50s’. Got drunk, the second the weekend started. Trying to shut my mind off, from overthinking, I couldn’t tell anyone, not even my best friend Arya. I didn’t know what was missing, I had an amazing year of high school and I thought that would make me feel full, nevertheless, I just felt empty.

Arya and I were really different people. She was a risk-taker, a lover girl, and a rebel, and i was just i, over thinker, over analyzer, anxious, and i didn’t believe in love. I never thought I could fall in love with anyone. That magical moment where your eyes meet with the person of your desire, only existed in movies for me. My girl always told me, a guy will treat me as I deserve if I just let him. However, I didn’t want to, I didn’t want anyone to take care of me. I couldn’t understand how Arya could fall in love with anyone she met, and even though her heart was broken she still continued fighting.

As broken as I was, and as drunk as I wanted to get, my parents forced me to go to this fifteen year old birthday of the daughter of my mother’s friend. I knew this girl, i just haven’t seen her in a long time, and i knew i couldn’t drink my pain off with my parents in the middle of the party. Nevertheless, my parents made me go, so I went. I felt completely out of line, I knew some people, but I just didn’t feel like being there. The birthday girl hadn’t gotten in yet, and a lot of her girl friends were talking about him, they kept saying that HE was late. I didn’t understand, I really didn’t care. There were plenty of boys at the party, I couldn’t understand why this boy was so important. If I knew then who he was going to be. I was with a friend doing a little chit chat, when he crossed the door, he checked me out, upside down, and came to say hi. He grabbed my waist and kissed my cheek.

It was time for the birthday girl to make her appearance. She was stunning, short white dress, pretty makeup, and straight hair. After the dancing and long boring video, all the youth sat together. I talked with the people sitting next to me, I was always good at socializing and making new friends. Some boys came up to talk to me, they were nice and friendly, just a little bit flirty, and I wasn’t really interested. My mind couldn’t take off the necessity to smoke. These people were older than me, so I thought they smoked too. I asked if any of them had a cigarette, but none of them had, none of them smoked. The birthday girl was the one I knew most, however she was sitting on the other side of the table, with the boy her friends were talking about just half an hour ago. I grabbed her attention with a sign asking if she had what I was craving. Surprised she looked at me amazed, she had never known a fourteen year old girl that smoked. She said she didn’t have any, and pointed to the handsome guy who grabbed me by the waist. “He may have one,” she said. I was desperate, I couldn’t control my desire, so i did the same i did to her. He was also amazed. He couldn’t believe I was talking to him. “Wait, wait, what? Let me just go there and talk to you” He came by my side in the other part of the table, and gave his friends a look to let him sit next to me. We started talking, he introduced himself and told his name was Alex, sadly he didn’t have any cigarettes, he only smoked vape. He asked me if I also smoked weed. A laugh came out of me and said “no no, not yet, maybe someday”. We started talking, he told me he was a football player, didn’t drink, didn’t drink coke, didn’t smoke much. He was so healthy, he was the opposite of what I was at the moment. We started talking to the guys next to us who were his friends. At that moment I asked them if they knew if there was cake. Alex was checking his phone. He said that i was the cake (implying i was a lesbian), i didn’t get mad, but i wanted to shut his ass down, so i told him this “ Yeah? and how much would you like to eat the cake?”. Alex pulled his head from his phone, he was totally impressed by my comeback, and his face turned red. Also his friends were hysterical. Alex stood up from the table and literally walked for five seconds until he sat down again, gave a look, a pretty smile, and asked for my instagram. I took his phone and wrote down my insta, he started checking it out with his girl best friend who was next us. She asked about a link which i had in my bio, i told her it was a feminist group, which i had gotten in. Alex put his hand around my hips, and started caressing my thigh with his fingers, at that moment my whole body trembled. He told me he was a feminist, his friend told me he was just messing with me, however he insisted on it, and we had a deep talk about feminism. He was the first person who made me feel understood, and supported. After that he went dancing, that’s typical Alex, makes him feel desired. I kept talking with his friends, a kid who was invited to the party came to talk to us, and we started chatting about superheroes, that’s when Alex came back. He asked the kid which was his favorite, the kid responded with enthusiasm that it was Spiderman. All the guys laughed, Alex gave me one of his looks, and asked how many fingers do I like. I didn’t answer his question, just to leave him with the mystery.

It was almost one o’clock when my dad sent me a text saying to leave. We were saying goodbye, when the mother of the birthday girl, told to sleepover, because everyone was going to, including Alex. Even Though i wanted to, my whole nerves asked me to sleep there and talk more to this guy I just met. I didn’t. I said goodbye to everyone, except to him.

I went home that night, went to my bedroom, laid in the bed, knowing I was wrong about love, I had just met the eyes of it.