Protect Us

It was finally morning, the birds were chirping and the laughter of little children hung in the distance as Abilene began to awaken from her slumber. She felt as though she weighed a thousand pounds as she rolled over in bed to see the sun leaking in through her bedroom window. Another day closer, she thought. Another day closer to my birthday, another day closer to my engagement. Abilene shuttered at the thought. Marrying her uncle? Even though her mother insisted that it wouldn’t feel weird after the whole event was said and done, Abilene just knew she could never get used to the idea of calling someone so much older than her, her husband. Adina began to stir. “Good morning sissy.” She yawned.

“Good morning Adina. Blessed be.” Abilene smiled. “What are your plans for the day?”

“Breakfast better be at the top of your to do list.” Diana chimed in as she opened their bedroom door. A waft of delicious bacon and mouth watering maple breakfast sausages entered the room with her.

“That smells amazing, Mama.” Adina drooled as she wiped her tired eyes.

Abilene nodded excitedly as she swung her legs over to the side of her bed to slip on her house slippers.

“Then I suggest you ladies gather yourselves and get in here to the table before we say grace.” Diana giggled.

As their mother left the room, the girls heard a deep booming voice coming from the kitchen.

“This looks good.” Matthew announced. “It’s about time you made my favorite breakfast.”

“I never know when you’ll stop by.” Diana wiped her hands on her apron and looked down at the floor. “The kids usually prefer blueberry muffins.”

“The last time I checked, we were married. You are a first wife Diana, that means something. The less time you spend tending to me, the more embarrassing it is for me around the congregation.”

“We don’t always have the rations here to fix the things you like for breakfast.” Diana whispered in a low and condescending tone. “But the children and I make do.”

Matthew slammed his fist down on the table, causing it to shake and the silverware to clang against it and each other.

Abilene and Adina entered the kitchen with their hands intertwined behind their backs, and their heads down.

“Who are these two?” Matthew pointed at the girls. The three smaller siblings sitting at the table giggled quietly at the question.

“Matthew, those are your daughters, Abilene and Adina.” Diana answered sweetly. “Abilene has a birthday coming up in a month, remember?”

Matthew’s expression softened. “Ah yes, Donovan’s bride.”

Abilene’s skin began to crawl. She kept her head down in hopes that no-one would notice how disgusted she was at the thought.

Abilene and Adina walked slowly over to the wooden dinner table and took their seats beside their younger siblings. The food looked delicious, both of the girls had plates piled high with sausage links, fluffy biscuits, peppered gravy, and Applewood smoked bacon. Their mother walked over with a glass pitcher and began to pour each of them a tall glass of milk to go with it. The two girls looked at one another and licked their lips before beginning to dig into their bountiful feast.

“Are you excited about your engagement Abigail?” Matthew inquired with his mouth full. “You will be doing us a great honor. This is a politically smart match after all.”

“Abilene.” She replied quietly. “My name is Abilene.”

“Abilene, you know your father has been blessed with many children from myself and my sister wives.” Diana reminded. “It would be difficult to remember them all, especially when you’re getting the word sent to you directly from God.” She smiled as she placed her hand on Matthew’s.

Matthew pulled his hand away quickly. “Your mother is right, Abilene. I have a lot on my plate. Including but not limited to making sure you two are married off to men who will help elevate this family in the eyes of the church and in the eyes of our Lord.” He scoffed. “No matter what you think in that pretty little head of yours, it is not an easy job.”

“I appreciate the opportunity Matthew.” Abilene smiled as she picked up her fork to take another bite.

“That’s the spirit.” Matthew encouraged. “You kids could learn a lot from your sister.”

The girls loved when their father would visit on rare occasions, but it wasn’t for his warm company. Their household always ate better when their father was around. When he was gone, their mother had very little in the home to last them a month so more often than not she would have to take herself and the children to the city so they could steal from big box grocery stores and dumpster dive for items that had recently been thrown away but could still be used. Dumpster days were very hard on Abilene and Adina, but their younger siblings loved it because they didn’t understand why they were able to play around and get dirty, they just knew they wouldn’t get time outs if they did it.

Diana never seemed to be much of a fan either when it came to stealing or dumpster diving, but she never waivered in her support for the church’s beliefs and the positive impacts it would have on “The Family.” Diana would often try to make friends with workers at the stores her and the children would frequent who shared similar beliefs so she could get boxes of goods without taking anything. She loved being able to witness to those who followed her savior, but did not have a family yet to call home. She also loved the ability to provide for her family without breaking the law even though she had been taught that robbing Peter to pay Paul wasn’t a sin in the eyes of the Lord if she was doing it for the sake of her family or for the sake of the church. Diana loved her children wildly and would do anything she could to keep them happy and healthy despite the paths she had chosen for them when she decided to become a first wife and have children within “The Family.” Diana adored her husband as well even though he hardly ever gave her the time of day. She had loved him since she was a 12 year old girl, before she was of age to marry in “The Family.” Diana and Matthew were brother and sister. They had been raised within the main sect of their cult and after they married, had decided to start their own. Matthew was ambitious and ready to change their belief system to fit the decrees that he felt God had bestowed upon him in a dream. No matter how he treated her, Diana always supported him. She was right by his side from the moment she realized she saw him as more than a sibling, she saw him as her godly husband. Her prophet. Her wise and trustworthy path into salvation.

Although Abilene loved her mother, siblings, and “The Family” they were a part of because she felt safe and cared for in such a large and seemingly loving community, she always felt like something wasn’t right. She had dreams, wants, and aspirations that flew far beyond the gate that surrounded the compound that she lived in, but she didn’t understand why every time she would share those dreams with someone they would discourage her. Everyone tried to blow out the fire that she would ignite, everyone but Adina. Adina was her safe place, her living diary, her best friend. Abilene and Adina would stay up late for hours, hiding under the covers with a small flashlight drawing, writing down their hopes and dreams, playing pretend and coming up with stories filled with fantasies and fun. They kept each other going, they fanned one another’s flame. They knew there was more to life than what they had experienced, they just didn’t understand how to fly past the gates like their daydreams had. Until they could figure it out, they would continue to turn their blanket forts into other worlds. They would continue to manufacture their freedom.

“Let’s say grace.” Diana sighed. “Bow your heads and join hands everyone. Your father is about to speak to God. Listen closely.”