Completion

Start writing here…Do you ever remember that feeling you get? Like on your first day of school or when you saw your first snow fall? The excitement that built up inside, you were just busting to escape the house, your mother comforting arms. To go out to this strange new world and explore.

Do you remember how it felt a few years later? When you are half way through high school, the dread you felt when you know you are failing, that you don’t know what you have planned after it’s all over. When you have to step into a world of adults and growing up or when it’s another snow fall. Only this time the snow falls thicker and it grown colder outside.

In these few moments of dread, and fear. You fall into a depression of sorts. Not a complete depressed state, where you decided that you can’t move forward in your life. That you can’t see another way out. But just a small depression, that you hope at the end of it you will find some sense of order, some sense of direction.

But during this small depression, where that fear and dread is crushing you. Like when you are out in the surf, and a wave slams into you, you feel all your air leaving your body. It’s in these moments, you remember back to these first few moments of excitement you felt, when you were innocent and saw the world different in untainted eyes. When you mother was there, holding you. Keeping you warm in that first real snow storm, and when that storm passes. You run out there with your mother, your protector and built the world’s greatest snowman. Your mother didn’t correct you, that in fact this wasn’t the world’s greatest snowman, instead she was beside you. Helping you build this thing that didn’t look at all like a snowman.

Or when your father takes you by his big rugged hand, and you proudly walk next to him. In your innocent mind, you believe in that moment, that your small hand fits perfectly with this giant’s hand next to you. That when you look up at him, that you see on a halo surrounding him. Not the sunlight bouncing off his hair.

You are back now, facing the real world again. You have taken another sip of that whiskey that is sitting in front of you. You are looking out to that vast, fluorescent, bustling city. A single snow flake lands on the window pane in front of you. You wonder to yourself, if you will ever feel that innocence, that purity you felt back then again. But one also has to wonder, that will it feel the same? Will that excitement be the same? Is it going to well up inside, and try to burst out?

The answer to this is unknown. It’s unknow for now. Because you have yet to find this excitement again, you have yet to find a moment like these again. But here is something people won’t tell you. You still have a world of first ahead of you: Your first kiss. When you find that perfect someone, who’s hand fits perfectly with yours. Seeing your true love waiting for you at the altar. There is still a world of firsts out there, and I promise you. In one of these firsts, you will find that moment again. It won’t be the same, it will be better because you understand it more now. You understand what it really means. It’s no longer excitement, it’s something so much more.

It’s completion