Life After Death

The faint dripping was all that I could hear as I slowly came to. I felt an instant agony in my right thigh. A small, pained sigh slipped from my cracked and bloodied lips and a pain I have never experienced wreaked havoc on the right side of my chest. My attempts to open my eyes were unsuccessful for a while. I could hear more now though. A faint ringing in my ears. Creaking of metal, pattering of rain and the dripping of something closer to me. Onto me. I tried to move my arm to wipe my face, but for whatever reason, the stubborn limb refused to cooperate.

Thoughts began to rush through me and I fought with myself to remember where I was. Pain was all I could feel. Breathing hurt and my eyes and throat felt oddly raw. I could taste the metallic tinge of blood as I attempted to wet my chapped lips. What. What am I doing? I thought. I can't move without more pain...where? My parents, my brother and my baby sister. I remember, maybe? Were they with me? Ever so slowly, my eyes slid open, but oh how I wish they hadn't. I choked down a sob as I saw the cause of the closer dripping sound.

I was on the ceiling of the flipped vehicle. Our vehicle? Our car - we were on a trip. Did we have the trip? These thoughts flurried through my mind in a pathetic attempt to distract me from the sight I saw. There, nearly directly above me, I saw my brother, strapped in by his seatbelt and dangling above me. Deathly pale with a haunting expression on his face as he gurgled and cried. Blood was pouring from his lips and onto my cheek; I tried to move once more, utterly panicked, but I couldn't get these damn body parts to work with me. I looked to my sister's baby car seat, and she was strapped in and safe but making very little noise. No noise actually. Was she hurt? Shouldn't she be crying? I tried to talk. My brother though, his noises haunted me.

"Mmma," was all I could manage, but I couldn't lay here doing nothing. My eyes drifted to my brother again and I watched his chest, hoping and praying to all the Gods I never believed in that he was still breathing. And he was, but he was not looking good. The colour from his chubby, usually pink cheeks was gone, replaced by a deathly pale hue. My hand, I didn't yet know I could move it, wandered to my face and I felt nothing but the stickiness of drying blood. Realising that I could move at least one limb, I went to grab something to pull myself up with, but let out an agonised shriek when I felt something move inside of my right thigh, slicing and tearing my fragile flesh. I had all but forgotten about the pain until that blatant reminder. As though it were saying 'How dare you forget me? Feel this then, bitch'. I couldn't find any breath in my lungs for a few seconds, and moved my hand to find the source of the horrendous burning. And I found it. I sure did. I had a piece of metal from the roof of the car protruding from my thigh. My eyes became glassy and I let the tears fall.

"And-y. Bre-athe," with every word I felt myself wheeze, "Do-n't die on m-me." A breathy "please" followed my plea and I felt the fear grow as my memory returned.

We were in a car accident. My family; my baby brother and sister, my mum, my dad...

"Ma- Mama-" I choked on another sob as I tried calling out to them and choked on more sobs when I heard nothing in return. Without moving my thigh, I turned ever so slightly in an attempt to see if they were there and dread and anguish had never been such a present aspect of my life.

Right behind my head sat my father's. Grey matter from his brain was escaping through the penetration of a large branch that lay just inches from my head. His blood soaked my hair and the near entire place I was previously laying. My body shook violently and suddenly, I couldn't help it, I turned, causing agony, and vomited whatever meal I had eaten last. The burn of the innards brought me into reality, where I entered an immediate state of shock. I didn't see my mother. Maybe she wasn't in the accident. We will all go to hospital and be okay. Brain surgeons are really good with all the new technology out there.

"We- we will be fine," I winced with every word as I spoke, "Mum will... She's at the hospital. Waiting for u-us. She w-will be there." I moved my free hand up to my dad's face. "You'll m-make it. Right da-d? You ha-have to." My eyes suddenly felt heavy and I could feel my heartbeat in my ears. It was slow. Was I bleeding out? I felt the blood in my veins like ice as I slowly began to lose consciousness. My eyes closed completely, but not before I heard the distant sirens getting closer.

Beeping. That and the hum of countless machines was all I could hear. It hurt like hell. Everything did. It was like fire was running through my bones and needles were running through my veins. Maybe this is hell. I couldn't move my legs or arms much and a state of panic overtook my senses. The pain was horrific. I could never complain about anything after this. I felt something in my hand, a button. I'd seen in shows like Grey's Anatomy, it would be connected to pain meds right? Or it calls a nurse? The pain was awful and I heard guttural noises bubble within me, noises that sounded like what you'd hear from a dying animal.

My heart raced in my ears. If I pushed the button, it would hurt me. My pained body would surely break if I moved even slightly. But a stabbing pain in my head caused me to lose all reservations. Before I could even think to panic about the state of my family, or even remember why I was here, I pressed the button and hoped for the drugs that would knock me out, and once again, my eyes became heavy and drifted closed.

Beeping and humming.

"I recommend that we don't tell her. Her recovery is dependent on a healthy state of mind and if we tell her-" Another voice cut in.

Beeping and humming.

"She has a right to know, she's the only living adult we can speak to about the-".

"Shut up, she's awake." I heard feet shuffling around and over to me. I felt a cold, gloved hand touch my thigh and I let out a small, chokey cry and shot my eyes open. My eyes were wide and my beeper machine started going haywire from my panic. A female voice sounded out in an attempt to calm me.

"Hey hun, I was just checking this dressing and your reflexes. It was looking a bit rough for you there. We were worried you wouldn't feel your legs again, just relax." I thrashed a little and looked around the room for anyone familiar. "Hey, hey, hey." She gently caressed my cheek and looked into my eyes. I noticed through her thick framed glasses that her eyes were a deep orangish brown colour, and then I realised that my words couldn't make it out but I croaked as best as could for water.

"Water?" I nodded, hurting my head in the process. Everything hurt but I noticed that the button I had before was now gone. I felt pain everywhere but my thirst was something I could control and fix.

The doctor handed me a cup of water with a straw to drink from, and I proceeded to take many hearty gulps of the liquid. I huffed out the breaths I would have had to take in the thirty seconds that I was drinking water. In between breaths, I would ask my questions.

"Where is my mum? She- she wasn't in the car. She's okay, right?" The doctors went quiet. "She's probably with my sister or my dad, where is my brother? H-he wasn't too hurt I don't think." My words were choked and almost intelligible as I asked. A sombre aura suddenly spread through the room. Someone didn't make it. "Oh g-god. Was it my brother? H-he was okay, just, pale! Or- no it...Was it my dad? Tell me, someone please! TELL ME!" I sobbed and wailed as I felt panic overtake me, hurting myself in the process.

A dull and emotionless voice spoke, one of the ones I heard before. "The baby is fine, she had a brain bleed that we were able to handle and she is in the PICU. Your father was dead on the scene and your mother is braindead and on life support. She was launched from the car during the crash. She probably didn't wear her seatbelt. Your brother received multiple blood transfusions on arrival but his heart arrested, his lungs collapsed and we couldn't get him back despite our best efforts. We need you to decide if your mother's organs can be donated-"

"That is enough, Doctor Simmons!" Yelled the female doctor that had comforted me previously. A tear dripped from my eye and trailed down my cheek.

"Is it true?" The female doctor sighed. "Lillith is okay?" She looked taken aback as I smiled, relief on my face. "What about Andy, and my mum and dad?" She looked at me with concern and turned to the other doctor.

"She passed her neuro checks right?" Her voice was rushed and hushed.

"With flying colours. Just call psych. Check if they can medicate her enough to make a decision on the mother. Those organs wont last-"

"SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT THE ORGANS!" screamed the female doctor. "She is in shock. She just found out that her family, for the most part, is DEAD."

"What?" I finally registered it. "Lillith, but no one- oh god. I- no no no, Andy? He was..." I broke out into tears, wailing and sobbing, clenching my fist at my chest as the pain there became almost unbearable. An animalistic noise left my lips as tears flooded my cheeks.

I was like that for a while. My chest hurt and my lungs burned from the sobs but I eventually calmed down enough to give the doctor what was being asked of me. The male doctor, the blunt one, had left but the lady stayed with me. I turned to her and took a deep breath, eyes puffy and swollen much like the many wounds littered across my body. "My mum," I started, "she will help anyone. If she... were alive and someone needed her," I gulped back, "organs, she'd give them in a heartbeat. You can have everything. She'd give... everything."