Dear Joan

Clutching her sketchbook tightly to her chest, Joan hurtled down the staircase, her heart racing in her ears. Time was of the essence; submitting her comic strip to the competition was her only chance at chasing her dream! Failure meant yielding to her parents’ wishes and applying for an office job, which was something she dreaded beyond measure.

Rounding the corner onto the final flight of stairs, Joan decided to skip down the remaining steps. In mid-air, a figure emerged before her eyes—a man, frozen with surprise. The collision was inevitable, unstoppable... and so, they collided.

“Ouch!” The man exclaimed. “Damn it!”

Still catching her breath, Joan’s gaze flitted to the scattered papers, a mixture of her sketches and music sheets she did not recognise. “S-sorry,” she stammered, rising to her feet. As she scrambled to gather them, she sensed the intensity of his glare. She looked up and found herself locking eyes with a pair that radiated anger, yet she couldn’t help but notice his striking handsomeness. Her watch suddenly pulsed with an insistent vibration, a harsh reminder of her missed deadline.

Joan lay in bed, listening to the birds chirping outside her window as her eyes gazed aimlessly at the warm sunlight that crept into her room from the edges of the curtains. How was he doing?

It was another morning when her first thought was of him. Another morning of missing him. When would this end? It had already been six months since she’d ended her relationship with Zander, but the pain hadn’t lessened.

Joan took a few deep breaths in an attempt to relieve the stress that had been building up. At that moment, her phone vibrated. For just a second, she wondered if... no, shewishedit was Zander calling her, but that wasn’t possible. After all, she’d changed her phone number after the breakup, and only a few people had her new number. She made sure he wouldn’t be able to contact her and that she could have a clean break from him and everything that came with dating a superstar at the height of his career. For the first few weeks, she had relished the peace she obtained from not receiving hate messages and prank calls from Zander’s fans, which often threatened to do horrible things to her. She often reminded herself of this fact when she began to question whether breaking up was the right decision.

“Hello?” Joan tried her best to say the word as clearly as her dry throat would allow her to.

“Okay, it’s Sunday, so I guess you’re forgiven for still being in bed at one in the afternoon.”

“Haha... Hi Chou,” Joan reached for some water. “What’s up?”

“You read the news today?” Joan noticed the hint of worry and impatience in her friend’s voice.

“No, as you rightly pointed out, I’m still in bed. What happened? Did the government finally decide to lower income taxes?” Deep down, Joan knew Chou was referring to some gossip news. After all, her friend worked at a media outlet that thrived on celebrities’ private lives! Joan disliked this fact very much, not least because gossip news had played a part in the crumbling of her relationship. She still remembered reading articles after articles that relentlessly dissected her physical appearance, as if she were not entitled to respect simply because she was dating a superstar!

“No! No no no!” Chou explained. “Zander’s dating!”

Joan felt shock gripping her voice. She blinked in silence. Finally, she managed a simple, “Oh.”

“Argh, girl seriously? Oh?” Chou sighed in disbelief. “Okay, as your friend, I want you to know this is unbelievable and unacceptable. He moved on so fast! Girl, you better get your ass out there and find yourself a new man!”

Joan shrugged in discomfort. “Chou... this isn’t some kind of competition.”

“Yeah, okay, but the point is you’re still not over him, are you?” Chou waited a few seconds for Joan to reply, but when she didn’t, Chou continued, “Look, I told you this because I miss you! It’s been half a year since we did anything together! Besides, meeting someone new can work wonders to help you get over an ex. I know you’re uncomfortable with the idea, but trust me, it works. Look, I’m hosting a dinner with some friends tonight, so why don’t you come and join us? There will be a few hotties!”

“Chou, I don’t feel comfortable. I don’t want to date again, not so soon,” Joan replied in a quiet voice.

“You’re a grown-ass woman! Stop with that attitude. You can just have fun! Who says you have to date?” Chou laughed in disbelief, surprised once again at how conservative Joan was. “Just think about it. Dinner’s at seven. If you don’t want to meet anyone, at least come for some food, okay?”

Joan agreed to think about it, and they hung up. Joan found her mind racing with thoughts of Zander. She tried her best to distract herself by scrolling through her phone, looking at images and videos of cats being silly... but the news of Zander dating again was stuck in her brain like an annoying mosquito buzzing in a dark room, relentless and infuriating.

She felt hurt and betrayed.

In a fit of irrationality, she began typing into the search bar: ′Zander girlfriend’. In an instant, she found her eyes scrolling through headlines after headlines about Zander and his new relationship. Her body felt stiff as a log. No common sense could explain why she decided to click on one of the articles.

She began to read.

WHO IS ZANDER? ZANDER’S GIRLFRIEND AND RELATIONSHIP HISTORY

“Zander is currently a big deal. Every song he has released since his debut two years ago has topped the charts. He has consistently been ranked as the most handsome and desirable man by our readers since his debut, and his fanbase has only been increasing. At just twenty-seven years old, he has already won the awards for “Best New Artist,” “Best Album of the Year,” “Best Single of the Year,” and “Most Influential Musician” at the prestigious Lumière Music Awards.

There have been rumours circulating for a while now that he had broken up with Joan, an ordinary person. Well, those rumours have been confirmed. Check out these photos:”

Joan felt her jaw clenching tighter as her eyes darted through a collage of photos of Zander laughing with another girl. One photo captured him tucking a beautiful girl’s hair behind her ear while grinning at her. The same grin he had given Joan whenever he told her how much she had meant to him.

Another photo showed them walking through a door with their fingers tightly interlocked. Sometimes, Joan could still feel the warmth of his hand in hers. She felt her eyes watering as the realization sank in that those warm hands would never embrace hers again.

“So, what happened to him to go from a normal girl to the gorgeous Katlin? Well, if I had to guess, it would be that with all that fame, Zander probably decided to finally date someone in his league... because why not? After all, it’s Katlin! I approve. So, how did the hottest man and woman fall in love? Here’s the timeline.”

“I approve?” Joan ran her hand through her hair and groaned in frustration. With two aggressive swipes, she reached the bottom of the post and registered that it had been written by a certain ‘Amanda C.’ with no photo to expose what thisAmanda C.looked like... just like the countless bullies who had plagued her sanity and relationship. How convenient that they could write articles, leave hateful comments and text messages, prank call her, and send her hate mail all while hiding behind a veil of anonymity, denying her even the slightest opportunity to know the names and faces of those who had hated her so much.

How could someone, who had never spoken to Zander, think they had the right to approve who he dated? She had never quite understood how these people could so freely abuse their freedom of expression to invade another’s privacy and dignity. A shudder ran down her spine as she recalled the fear she had felt when reading articles that exposed rather personal details. She remembered reading an article that described her as unfit to date a superstar because of her height and weight, being only five feet one inch tall and weighing fifty-two kilograms. How did they even obtain this information in the first place?

Rather than allowing herself to spiral down the path of these unpleasant memories, Joan put her phone down, took a few deep breaths, and reminded herself that all the pain and regret she had felt about breaking up with Zander had all been for the sake of restoring peace to her life. “Just because you know my name doesn’t mean you know me,” Joan murmured as she wiped away a tear from her cheek, determined to be strong. “You deserve to be happy, Joan.”

If Zander could move on, so could she. Perhaps Chou was right, perhaps meeting someone new was the catalyst she needed to begin a new chapter in her life.