Domestic Partnership's Diaries

It was the middle of the night and Raphael was sitting on his desk reading a comic, it was the newest issue of batman, he hated that guy, rich, handsome and it was even a superhero? Fuck that guy.

Suddendly the lights went off, "again?" said Raphael out loud, he took his emergency light that he had in his pocket and shouted "Muriel im on it don't worry", as if Muriel ever worried about something... that guy was too chill about evrything.

Raphael, strugling against the dark, reached the kitchen where he saw Muriel slowly and dramatically turn the swively chair in the dark lighten up only by Raphael's torchlight, he was in his robe and he took a sip from his mug

"i knew i would found you here" effect pause "Raphael"

"did you just carried the swively chair from your room to the kitchen just to do this?

"yes"

"you live in the cealing"

"yes"

"of a three story building

"are you keep going to enlist things that we alredy know?"

"nevermind... what's the reason of you bringing the swively chair and turning the lights off, wait, I SWEAR TO GOD, if it is for the matter of the milk i AM going to kill you, it happened ONCE, 7 MONTHS AGO"

"it's not for the milk... although it's good that you remember" he took another sip from the mug "anyway i didn't do that"

"you didn't brought your chair down two flights of stairs and turned the light off to summon me?"

"just the second part, the lights went off because a lighting struck the house"

"A WHAT?"

"a lighting, you know, big bright elettric thing that"

"WHAT? WHEN? ITS ALL OKAY IN YOUR ROOM?"

"i mean, to be honest its on fire, BUT... i got the swevly chair, so ultimately it's all right"

"NO, IT FUCKING ISN'T"

"should we call the firefighters?"

"YOU DIDN'T CALLED THEM?"

"i mean... i would have but i had to make coffe"

Raphael stormed out of the house before strangling Muriel, there was indeed a storm, and the cealing of their house was gone, he called the fire fighters and then started going in circles for the stress, Muriel who had followed him put his hands on Raphael's shoulders, "hey man, it's going to be okay, we are super insured, now the firefighters are going to come here, we answer a couple of question and we good to go, okay?", Raphael looked up at Muriel, he relaxed a bit, "thanks man", he then sat on the ground, "it's just that... i mean, the last year was totally bonkers, since i moved in with you, this house has seen more natural disaster than the bermuda triangle" said Raphael looking at the fire divamping from Muriel's room "who could have predicted that moving in with a stranger to save money was going to get me in so much trouble" he then give a friendly pat on Muriel's shoulder

"i mean it was cheap" said Muriel "but it's a big house, one cannot just live there alone, right?" Raphael and Muriel looked at each other "i suppose not" answered Raphael, Muriel took a sip from his mug "mmm, it got cold, im gonna pop it in the microwave for a minute", Raphael nodded "sure, man, no one likes a cold coffee" Muriel had done a few of meters before Raphael realized that he was going back in the house where there was an on going fire, "Muriel wait", Muriel turned "the power is off, how are you going to use the microwave?" Muriel seemed to think about it for a second then a suddend light hit him, he fell to the ground, "MURIEL" screamed Raphael before rushing towards him "ARE YOU OKAY?", Muriel opened his eyes releaving Raphael, "oh my god you're alive..."

"it appears so" said Muriel looking around him "Hey what do you know, the coffee is warm again" pointed out after taking a sip.

"you fucking moron"

"oh Raphael, i'm on fire"

Raphael stepped back, "excuse me?"

"no i am litterally on fire, the robe" said quickly and awkwardly trowing his burning robe on the ground remaining in his underwear

After a dozen minutes the firefighters came and stopped the fire "im sorry lads, you roof is gone, but the fire has been stopped, we just need you to answer some questions"

they answered all the question of the firefighter and head home, Muriel said "the lights did not come back, but if i do this..." he pointed the fusebox, nothing happened, "worth the shot", he then sat on the swigly chair, "you don't go to sleep Muriel?"

"I would, but my room is... how can i put it, dead"

"just use the guest room"

"the what?"

"the guest room, it's in front of my room and it's alredy furnished"

"we have a guest room?"

"You have been living here for a year and a half Muriel, you litterally bought the house in the first place, lets suppose that you, for some reason, didn't notice that there was a fucking door in the hallway that you go through evry single day, for some inexplicable reason you didn't notice, didn't the realtor make you a tour of the house?"

"i didn't bought it from a realtor"

"of course you fucking didn't"

"well, i guess from now one we'll be neighbours, of room at least"

"goodnight Muriel"

"Goodnight Raphael"