Floating

On August 5th 2023 our son Ryan was married to Frances in Santa Ynez, CA in a Hollywood themed sports marriage. It was all Hollywood, starting with the bride & her father dancing down the aisle and her reciting her vows singing with a ukulele… it was serious, funny and a lot of fun for everyone. I was really proud to see Ryan up there being The Man. Most fun and unique wedding I’ve ever been to. As you can imagine, we left there feeling buzzed.

We took our first vacation in 10+ years and went to Maui on 8/7. The fires began on 8/9 and they asked all the visitors to leave. We were staying far away from the fires, on the East side - away from the tourists. It took 4 days to get our flights changed and we arrived home on 8/13. They closed all the parks in Maui and the only thing we could do was go to the beach. We made lemonade… enjoyed what we could and just chilled. On the 13th we checked out of cottage we rented at 10am but our flight didn’t leave until 8:30pm so, we drove around the island roads that weren’t closed and found the Aquarium that just opened. At about 3pm, Josie, my wife searched for "crater" on the Maps App but it took us to another beautiful beach - no crater, but this happened to be the nicest beach we found… it was spectacular.

I had my beach trunks on and walked up to the edge of the water. It was cold but refreshing. The waves were enormous and when they crashed down my feet sunk about 6 inches. When I waded up to my knees the force of the waves would pull me and sink my legs deeper into the sand. It was so different from the waves in Sarasota or Miami… These waves were very powerful - Big Mamma!

I found the water enticing, Josie waved me in as I walked deeper into the ocean until it dropped off about 4 feet. I was now standing with the water above my chest. The water was crystal clear as I watched the waves plow over me, again and again. About a month ago I was at the beach in Sarasota and as I always do in the ocean, I body surfed the waves and rode them to the shore. I’ve been doing this from the time I was a child and rode on my fathers back, over and over again. I did the same with my children. It’s a very happy place and brings back great memories of my father and children.

So here I am in Maui on my last day enjoying the refreshing water in my happy place… what do I decide to do… go body surfing. I surfed a few small waves and was in my glory, “damn this is fun”, I thought. Then I decided to step it up and take on some big waves - "now that will be euphoric", I thought. I waited and waited for Big Momma and she came with a force, must have been 20’ high. I launched myself as high as I could. Within seconds the wave broke at the wall where it dropped off, I was pulled down by the undertow, my legs flew up in the air, and my face & forehead were planted into the bottom of the ocean floor. All I remember is a crushing sound. I was stunned and it hurt like hell, I got a “stinger”, where both arms went completely numb - paralyzed! My arms would not work, no matter how much I tried. Somehow, I was launched into the air and I saw Josie sitting on a branch looking out. To this day, I don’t know how I had the presence of mind but I screamed “Josie - HELPPPP!!!”… and that was the last thing I remembered as I sank back into the ocean.

The next thing I knew, I was gasping for breath and Josie was screaming, “Crawl… Neal Crawl” … but my arms ignored my plea. I then felt myself being pulled over the very rough sand and came to a stop out of the water. It all came down on me at that moment, the pain in my head, face, shoulders as I was still gasping to catch my breath, blood was flowing down my face. I then realized that I was a matter of seconds from drowning and still don’t know how I survived.

It turned out to be the Perfect Storm and for some reason it wasn’t my time. I asked Josie what happened after I screamed at her. There happened to be 2 young men, about 20 years old hanging out in the water about 20 feet from me. As soon as I yelled to Josie, she yelled to these guys and they literally pulled me out of the water and saved my life. I remember absolutely nothing. Apparently, one of them was there first to arrive but couldn’t budge me… his friend came over and they grabbed me under the arms and had to wait till a wave came in order to move me. She said it took about 5 minutes. The LifeGuards then came over and asked me the 50 questions - who are you, where are you, what day is this, etc. The first test I passed with flying colors in a long time. I was ready for my certificate - escaping death. They then unloaded 5 gallons of water over my head trying to get the sand off of me… but after 5 gallons the sand was wedged in every crevice of my body, it was like glue. I could barely stand, still trying to recover from this harrowing experience. I heard the LifeGuard say, “this guy is very strong”, which in light of what just happened drew a small twinkle in my eye. He asked if I wanted a Medic and said that he rarely lets someone leave after an accident like I had… but since I got an A on the test, it appeared as though I’ll be OK. The last thing he told Josie was, “don’t let him fall asleep for at least 12 hours.” All I wanted to do was sleep… I kept closing my eyes - it felt so good but every time I did, she’d reach over and nudged me. Since every ounce of my body was in pain, she would get my attention with just a touch.

We had 3 hours to make our flight but she had to “clean me up” - I was a freaking mess, battered and bruised. My forehead was bleeding and I had this enormous welt under my eye, and I could barely move. I was completely covered in sand from being pulled about 20’ on the beach… sand was literally wedged in every crevice of my body.

We got into the car and Josie was frantic (was terrified after watching me almost die). Once she started to drive I asked her to take me to the emergency room - I was spent and just wanted to sleep. Since Maui was under a siege from the fires, there was nowhere that I could go - no emergency room - no hospital. Josie ignored my request and was determined that the first order of business was to get me into dry clothes. She took me to another beach that we had previously visited with showers used to clean people when they leave the beach. This particular beach is where the homeless hang out and at that point I looked right at home. I got out of the car and started to walk a few steps toward the shower and one of the residents said to me, “damn you look really bad, what happened to you”… I couldn’t resist the cliche, “you should see the other guy” … he ignored my response and kept walking. I then made my way into the shower, but the water was absolutely freezing and the wind was blowing at least 20mph… I was shivering, standing in my boxers, beaten and bruised and in enormous pain. She then hands me the shampoo and I washed my hair. I tried my best to remove the rest of the sand but I wasn’t about to take off my boxers in the middle of a park, although I’m sure no one would have cared. I made some progress, then retreated into the nasty bathroom to finish the job. She handed me a T-shirt to dry off with. I looked at her, shivering, my lips now blue as I’m freezing and said “really, that’s all I get is a freaking T-shirt". She responded, “That’s all I’ve got, I pulled it out of our luggage, and by the way, we now only have 2 hours to make our flight.”

We quickly grabbed something to eat and rushed to make our flight out of there on time. I can’t tell you how many times people stopped me and asked, “what happened to you?” … I thought, “heck I’m all cleaned up and still look like it’s halloween.” Now, we get to start our 14 hour 3 leg marathon back home. We used my “face” to get us loaded before the disabled and children… all they had to do was look at me and said “you can board immediately”… I’m sure they didn’t want to scare the other passengers.

Every time I’ve flown with Josie, she gets on the plane, connects her seatbelt and falls asleep. However, since she had to stand guard to make sure I didn’t fall asleep, she endured and kept nudging me as my head dropped in exhaustion. From Maui to LA to Atlanta to Sarasota we hurried to make our connections, loaded our bags, coped with cramped seating and stayed awake. We made it home in 17 hours from the time we left Maui. Josie slept for 14 hours that night… I hurt so much that I was awake every 2 hours and struggled to make it through the night.

I’ve been in recovery mode taking Tylenol to relieve the immense pain throughout my body. I knew that I didn’t get a concussion since I had none of the symptoms - my face & forehead took the brunt of the impact… my shoulders hurt like hell from the guys pulling me out of the water and surprisingly my arms and hands were burning. I’m actually in pretty good shape now and should be able to get back on the tennis court in a few weeks. I've been going to the chiropractor to address the knot on my back, neck and shoulders - that’s the worst of it... other than halloween coming early.

The Take Away - I survived a terrifying accident. I was incredibly lucky, had enough sense to scream for help, Josie could hear me, and had those 2 guys pretty close. What are the chances of all those things coming together in an instant?

Those 5 minutes between the time I screamed to Josie and was dragged out of the water haunt me to this day. I was just floating, very peaceful - I wasn’t terrified or struggling and I don’t think I was unconscious... I just wonder how I could have survived that much time underwater - I certainly cannot hold my breath that long. The experience keeps returning to me over and over.

Apparently it just wasn’t my time.