Chapter One~Maybe..~
As I washed my puffy face, I started thinking again.. and shit... more tears. I can't stop them sometimes, they just fall out uncontrollably. I try to calm myself, but just looking in the mirror hurts. I hate- no, despise what I see. Fourteen years of living on this Earth, and I've only liked myself for six of them.I wish I was six again.. so innocent and sweet, so unknowing, and happy. I want to be happy again, but it's way too hard to do.
Okay, a little bit about me- I have Chronic Post-Traumatic-Stress-Disorder (PTSD), Major Unspecified-Depressive-Disorder (UDD), and horrible Anxiety. There are a lot of other mental illnesses.. but these are the main ones.
I have two sisters, and a brother. I have one full-sister, Diane, a half-sister, Dallanie, and a half-brother who's name I don't know. Only because my dad is a.. you know. Plus, the kid died, it was either a miscarage or he died after he was born. Either way.. I kinda wish I was him. I hate this world, and almost everyone in it.
My favorite color is purple, blah, blah, blah.. my favorite food is steak, my favorite drink is coffee, my favorite animal.. I can't choose, and all my favorite songs are really depressing ones.
When I finally quit crying like the baby that I am, I just wipe my face with my towel, and go to get dressed for school, but before I can, "LEYANN!" my grandma yells. "Yes ma'am?" I respond, but she doesn't answer. I sigh, and walk into her room. "Yes ma'am." I repeat although, it isn't a question this time. "Is that bathroom cleaned?" She's got a demanding tone, and I don't know why.. but I'm already pissed. Plus, it's too early in the morning to put up with her shit.. But "Yes ma'am." is all I say. Thank the universe she just nods and doesn't say anything else.
"Bitch!"- "Yeah! That's what I thought!" A girl is yelling at another girl, "Walk away, now! Walk away!.. Bye Honey! Thank you very much!" It's eight in the damn morning like.. shut up. At least I'm awake for my first period though.. It does kind of help, because I'm always trying so hard to stay awake throughout the day.
"Hey." hear a voice behind me. I jump a little. "Whatcha doiiiiinnn'..?" I turn around to see my friend Mayi, she's in a good mood. I can tell, literal rays of light are coming from her smile and her eyes. She's beaming. "Uh.. I'm walking..?" She punches my book-bag. I flinch again, but she doesn't notice this. "Damn. Tough crowd." she says sarcastically. That's my thing.. it doesn't really suit her. "Ha, ha." I shoot back with a smile. I roll my eyes, and she giggles.
I guess she can sense something's off because she asks, "What's wrong?" "W-What?" I stammer, "Nothing's wrong." I seem to convince her, and she backs off. "Although.." she turns her head as I speak, "I am kind of hungry.." She sighs as the pulls out a pack of Oreo's, and hands me them. I smile at her, "Thanks Pookie!"
