MAMUT

Who defines what is real and what is not? Who can say with absolute certainty that their existence is true? Who assures that those memories and cherished recollections are exactly as they remember them? Who can guarantee that there isn’t a touch of falsehood in them? Perhaps they didn’t embellish them with the beauty of their mind and the joy of their heart, or on the contrary, maybe they painted them with a dark cloak of profound pain? What is reality? And who can assert it? Ha, certainly, anyone is better qualified to do so than a madman like me.

—Patient Ángel Mayanares, twenty-two years old, diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, experiences frequent psychotic episodes and aggressive, violent behavior. He was caught by his mother as he violently squeezed his father’s neck, claiming that his father wanted to use him as his life insurance policy, his personal organ bag. Very well, students, what do you propose for the proper management of this patient? — said a cold and meticulous voice emanating from a man neatly adorned in a white coat. He spoke slowly, yet his words seemed to race at an absurdly accelerated pace.

A group of young individuals, not older than the young Ángel, observed him with furrowed brows, confusion apparent in their minds, almost as if their thoughts were struggling to bloom. Thousands of tiny rolling plants could be seen above their heads, and it wasn’t a figurative image; they were truly there. This was the reality for young Ángel, with a gaze as deep as oil wells and slightly dark skin that adorned his slender, toned figure.

Sometimes, his illness enjoyed playing him small pranks, almost completely forgetting that what was a reality for him was considered madness by others. He approached one of the young individuals without hesitation and proceeded to shoo away the rolling plant from their head. The group instinctively moved away from him upon witnessing his actions, while the unlucky young man chosen at random was paralyzed in front of the immense man who was approaching with gigantic and intimidating steps. The deranged giant was about to continue his friendly action when a hand abruptly stopped him before he could get too close to the bewildered young man’s head.

“I think that’s enough for today, guys. The patient needs to rest; too much attention can be overwhelming,” said a broad and beautiful white smile, gliding across translucent, sugar-pure skin, adorned with small, golden curls on top. This man, equally pristine as the rest of the present individuals, gently took the patient’s wrist and then held the cinnamon-skinned hand with extreme care.

“Mamu, what would you like to eat today?” he asked with his beautiful smile, looking into the deep oil well eyes that had regained their previously lost light.

“I would like... I would like... Maybe meat?” cautiously responded the patient.

With caution and affection, the soft white hand guided him back to his room. They moved slowly, leaving behind those birds of prey who observed them with disdain.

“Hmph, a mere nurse undermining the authority of a respected psychiatrist,” came a capricious and petulant voice.

“Mamut, no!”

Before the elegant and charming nurse could restrain the enraged man, he had already confronted the certainly unfriendly student. The doctor who had previously been leading the group smiled, while the furious nostrils breathed deeply over the small student:

“Mr. Pérez, I recommend you have more respect for your colleagues. Everyone here deserves respect; your title doesn’t make you superior. Besides, what kind of idiot confronts someone whose nickname is ‘Mamut’?” The doctor made a note in one of his documents; no one knew what he was writing. “It seems to me that you should revisit your classes and self-learning about common sense,” the doctor mockingly said to the inexperienced psychiatry student.

—Doctor Duarte, I apologize for the inconvenience. I assure you it won’t happen again.” The golden-curled man in the blue uniform approached the agitated Mammoth. He gently took him by the shoulders, moving him away from the young student. At that moment, the small, petulant boy realized something: this insolent nurse was even taller than the one they called Mamut. He swallowed hard. Perhaps he should be more careful; a strong and defiant golden gaze was fixed upon him, making him feel like a little insect.

“Don’t worry, Mr. López. I know that Mamut is in very capable hands with you around. Please continue on your way; it seems my students still have much to learn,” the doctor replied kindly. “But before you go, I’d like to discuss a minor observation with you.” He rushed forward in short steps, almost like hops, and showed the note he had written just moments ago. The nurse with golden eyes smiled with satisfaction.

“I think it’s a good decision. If you’re interested, the patients in the east wing could benefit from his presence. There’s a patient with a fixation on coprophagia; I’m sure he would be useful in that area.”

Once again, the golden eyes looked at the young student with severity. Within those notes with illegible handwriting, the words “A lesson in humility is recommended for the student, community service as disciplinary punishment, supervision, and support in bathroom cleaning” could be deciphered.

When they were far enough away from the stiff group, Mamut finally decided to speak.

“Thank you, Jorge... I didn’t want to hurt him. I just wanted to remove the rolling plant from his head. He should be grateful.”

The white smile appeared again.

“Of course not. You wouldn’t harm a fly; you’re the purest being that exists. I know it.”

This gentle patient who clung to his hand had arrived a week ago. He had nearly strangled his father and completely destroyed the dining area on the second day of his arrival, but none of that mattered. He always managed to convey a strong sense of peace to him. Deep in his heart, he believed that Mamut would never harm anyone, although perhaps there was an exception... he looked at him attentively with his golden eyes, somewhat captivated by his delicate profile. He had been assigned to care for him due to his size. This innocent young man stood around six feet three inches tall, and he was the largest nurse in the hospital. His body was solid and muscular, yet still harmonious and proportional. One of his responsibilities was to restrain potentially dangerous patients, and it seemed that everyone considered Mamut to be one. He had earned his nickname due to the incident in the dining area, which was also the reason he had been denied access to the area in the future, unless he demonstrated progress with his illness.

“I think I read your mind; I brought meat for the both of us. Would you like to dine with me again today?” the nurse asked gallantly.

An imperceptible blush appeared on Mamut’s face. He adored the company of this kind man with golden curls, whose gaze was as incandescent as the sun. He wished to always be with him. Maybe the punishment he had been given wasn’t entirely bad, as it allowed him to eat beside this man who looked at him with excessive tenderness.

Mamut had been treated with privilege since his arrival. His family wasn’t lacking in money; his father was a wealthy man, willing to do what was best for his son. This is what he always assured him during his visits:

“Son, please believe me, I don’t want to hurt you.” It was too soon; the man’s presence triggered psychotic episodes in his little Angel. After three days, on the advice of psychiatrist Duarte, who was in charge of his son, he was asked to give him some time to heal and recover.

Little Angel had a well-equipped private room. No implement inside would allow him to hurt himself or others. It had a private bathroom, a small sofa, and a useful dining table for exactly two people. The room was monitored by cameras 24 hours a day without any blind spots.

As they ate, Mamut reflected on his father’s attitude. He had definitely locked him up here to keep an eye on him. His father fed him properly to prevent his organs from deteriorating, and even motivated him to engage in physical activity. Of course, what good were a fatty liver and heart? He knew his father had fallen ill, and he was his insurance; that’s what the voice in his head told him.

This murmur had been circling his mind subtly like a buzzing sound until he finally decided to talk to him. He showed him the reality: documents indicating that his father had heart problems and a liver invaded by tumors. He even showed him the documents indicating that a sample of his DNA had been taken to see if they were compatible donors. He didn’t know how he had managed it, but the voice that was always watching over him told him. He had entered at night and used a syringe to complete the task. The voice even showed him where the blood had been drawn from.

The deep oil well eyes stared into space, and his pristine hands had stopped eating.

“Mamut,” the gentle voice of silk called out.

The vast dark pools regained their luster.

“Yes?”

“It took me a long time to prepare this feast for you. I only slept 3 hours today,” the golden giant said a bit indignantly.

Mamut looked at his plate, which had been only faintly touched, and began eating eagerly.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry... it’s delicious,” he repeated with his mouth full.

Jorge burst into hearty laughter.

“You don’t have to choke on your food. You can eat slowly,” he stopped the swinging of his hands and looked at him intently. “For now, you’re my most important patient.”

Mamut stopped with his mouth full.

“Patient?” he whispered so softly that he hoped not to be heard. Of course, he was just another patient. What had he been expecting?

Jorge stopped his hand from reaching his mouth immediately. He had indeed heard the soft whisper, but how could he deny it? Wasn’t this gentle young man more than just a patient to him? He lowered his gaze and ignored the soft comment. He didn’t know how to respond; the truth was that he wasn’t just a patient to him. But then, what was he?

After a brief silence, Jorge gathered his courage. Looking at the dark, small hair covering Angel’s head, he said:

“Your hair is a bit long... it looks good.” Part of Mammoth’s forehead was covered by the thick black hair, making him appear messy and charming.

“Do you think so?” The wide obsidian eyes smiled.

“I like it. It’s very fine and looks very soft. I’ve always had these annoying bird’s nests on my head. They’re hard to comb.” He ruffled his tangled hair a bit.

Mamut looked at the golden wheat hair.

“They’re beautiful.”

Jorge nearly choked on his food; it was the first time someone referred to him or something of his as beautiful. Clearing his throat, he asked to make sure he hadn’t misheard.

“Really? Do you think so?”

Without averting his gaze from his hair, Mamut continued firmly:

“Not all the gold in the world can compare to its beauty.” Finally, those pools of mysterious darkness settled on his eyes.

Jorge felt confused and intimidated. He couldn’t bear that intense gaze and instinctively got up, fleeing from this new and tempting feeling. To mask his embarrassment, he smiled slightly as he started collecting the plates, which still held food.

“You know? I read somewhere that long hair is a sign of virility and strength. The best warriors used to wear it that way.”

“Is that so?” the innocent young Angel asked, not taking his gaze away from Jorge’s face.

Jorge could barely contain his nervousness. He was being pierced by thousands of blades of innocence and desire.

“Yes, I read that, so it must be true.” He had no idea if it was true, but what harm could such an irrelevant piece of information do?

Mamut finally gave him a break and withdrew his penetrating gaze, as if he were pondering something.

“Do you like it?”

Distracted, Jorge asked, “What?”

Mamut didn’t dare to ask again. But even so, the answer came:

“If it’s you, then yes.”

When Mamut looked up, the nurse realized his indiscretion. This wasn’t professional at all, so he corrected his words, scratching his head and avoiding direct eye contact.

“You know... because of your illness, it could be a good way to carry on your fight. Like a sort of symbol that you haven’t lost the battle.”

“Do you also think I’m lying?” Mamut smiled subtly. Then he looked at him again with tiny stars in his eyes. “I’ll do it, if you think it’s good for me, I’ll do it.”

This man was definitely incapable of hurting anyone.

“You’re invincible, I’m sure you’ll do well.”

Mamut smiled, his small, well-aligned pearly teeth lighting up his delicate face.

“If I fail, you have to tell me... I’m afraid... I’m afraid I wouldn’t know, not for now.”

“If you fail, I’ll fail with you.”