HOSTAGES

NOAH

It was raining pretty heavily. I was waiting for a cab in front of the supermarket. “We are finding your ride.” I stared at my phone waiting for someone to accept my request. I was biting back my frustration when the app reassured me it was, “finding my ride,” the way it had been for the past half an hour. I knew that I wouldn’t get a cab today because it was a weekend. I turned around and looked into the supermarket. I see that the cashier is staring at me continuously and giving me a devilish look because I have been standing here for the past 45 minutes. I had no option but to call my friends. I pulled up the contact in my phone, said a silent prayer, and pressed the call button.

One ring... Two rings... Three.

“Come on, pick up the phone,” I said biting my nails. But no one picked up my phone as they all were busy in licking other’s ass. I was swearing at them standing in the corner. I looked around and there was no one in the alley. I was scared as hell. My legs were shaking continuously. If I just stand here and don’t move then the cashier would kill me. I don’t have an umbrella with me and if I don’t reach home within the time limits, My Mom will kill me. I had no option but to run and get drenched. I removed my backpack and kept it on the top of my head. “Shit,” I said in a low voice. How am I supposed to run 7 kilometers from here?

“Come on, Noah. You can do it,” I closed my eyes and took a long deep breath. I started running. My shoes were filled with water. I don’t know why people like rain so much. I just hate it. I have never been in such a situation before in my life. Why does it have to rain today? I was crying, I was smiling. I don’t know what the hell I was doing. Suddenly someone grabbed my hand and pulled me towards them. We practically hugged each other. I grabbed his shirt tightly closing my eyes. I wanted to cry out loudly. I slowly opened my eyes and looked at him.

“Noah, are you okay?” he asked wiping off my tears. It was Nick-- Nickolas, my classmate. He is my crush. No, I wouldn’t say it’s a crush but he is my first love. I have never seen such a kind-hearted person like him. He is wearing a navy blue t-shirt with black pants tucked into shin-high black boots. He calls my name again and again. I am staring at his handsome face. I couldn’t take my eyes off him. He was holding an umbrella. His hair was wet and water was falling from his hair. He inches forward and I am almost scared to breathe. His fingers skim the small of my back for a slow moment and I have to bite my lip to stifle the intensity.

“Noah,” he calls again. This time I look into his eyes and try to answer him.

“Ye... Yeah,” I said with a trembling voice. I was nervous around him. I never spoke to him once. I didn’t dare to speak to him. He is the most popular guy at our university. We are in the same department, The Department of Medical Sciences. He is best at everything whether it is in studies, sports, or activities. All the girls of our department would die to be with him but he rejected most of the girls. I was scared to confess my feelings to him. I was scared of rejection. Sometimes I had the most beautiful eye contact with him. We used to stare at each other in between classes and he used to smile looking at me.

Because my love for him was higher than words, I decided to fall silent.

“Are you okay?” he asked tucking my hair behind the ear. My whole body was numb when he touched me. I started having butterflies in my stomach.

“Yeah, I am okay,” I said smiling.

“Can I drop you? Are you going to the party?” he came close to me and whispered in my ear. I could feel his broad chest touching mine. I clenched both fists and started rubbing my thumb against my index finger. My head dipped again into his chest. I didn’t want him to go anywhere. I want him to touch me. I have always wanted it and today there is a very little distance between us.

“Uhm... No, I am not going to the party.” I cleared my throat and looked at him. His nose touched mine and we both were looking at each other. My heart was racing very fast. I wanted to kiss him. I was biting my lips. I need to control these thoughts. I started moving backward. I took 4 steps away from him and he grabbed my hand and pulled me again.

“Don’t,” he shouted. This time he pulled me so close to him that I could hear his breath. His lips were very close to mine. I was very confused. I closed my eyes waiting for him to kiss me. I wanted him so badly. I wanted his body all over mine.

“You will get wet if you move away,” he said in a low voice. I opened my eyes and looked at him for a second. His blue eyes are killing me and again I walk backward. He grabs my shoulders before I can move past him, and I know, I know that something huge is happening, the kind of thing that takes worlds apart and remakes them. Hurricanes and tornadoes. Such a blue, his eyes were. Like the center of a flame, as though some internal furnace lit them.

“Do you want me to drop you home?” he asked looking at me.

“Yeah,” I murmured.

“I have to get my car. Can you follow me ?” he asked pointing his finger towards the car.

“Yeah, sure,” I said smiling. He held the umbrella and we both started walking. His hands were touching mine. The umbrella was too small that it was only for one person. Because of that, we had to come this close to each other. I was happy that we were walking together and I wished that I could hold his hands. I was looking at the rain and there was a smile on my face. So this is the reason why people like rain so much. I could feel his fingers touching mine. He opened the door for me and I sat in his car.

I was clasping and unclasping my hands. I was rotating the finger ring that I wore on the little finger of my left hand. He was looking at me continuously. I didn’t know what to do. I was blinking my eyes continuously. I was happy, nervous, anxious. So many emotions were running through me. Suddenly he came close to me and put on the seat belt. I held my breath and looked at him. He moved away from me and I took a sigh of relief. Then again, there was silence between us. He started driving. 5 minutes passed and we didn’t talk.

“Don’t you have to say anything to me?” he asked looking at me. I looked at him with confusion. What do I need to say to him? Does he know about my feelings? Does he want me to confess to him? I was thinking about all the possibilities. I couldn’t understand anything. He took a deep sigh and looked at me.

“Noah, where do you live?” he asked. Shit! I didn’t tell him the address. It’s too embarrassing right now.

“Oh, right,” I giggled. “I didn’t tell you my address. Uhm... I live in Bourbon Street.” I said wiping off sweat from my philtrum. I was feeling hot. I broke into a sweat. The AC was on but still, I was feeling very hot. I started rubbing the back of my neck. I looked through the window. The water droplets were falling slowly.

Sometimes memories of those moments, I spent with you, come and sit on my mind’s lane, just as those drops of water, crowd on my window pane.

“Take a right from there and you can stop it there,” I said in a low voice looking at the road.

“There we are,” he took a right turn and stopped the car. He looked at me and smiled.

“Thank you for dropping me, Nick,” I said smiling. I was getting out of the car when suddenly he stopped me by grabbing my hand.

“Do you live alone?” he asked looking at me.

“Uhm, no. I live with my Mom.” I said looking at his hand.

“Oh, I am sorry,” he said and moved his hand from mine.

“See you tomorrow at the university,” he said looking. I didn’t expect him to say that to me. We never talked at the university for the past 1 year. Yes, a few times we had eye contact, and we exchanged smiles but we never talked face to face.

“Yeah,” I said and got out of the car. It’s already 10 pm. Shit! I am late. I had extra keys with me. So I slowly opened the door and tiptoed into the kitchen. I was feeling very thirsty. So I slowly opened the fridge, took out the water bottle, and quenched my thirst.

“Noah, where the hell were you?” My Mom shouted standing at the kitchen door. I tried so hard to not let her see me but there she was. I closed my eyes with disappointment. I flared my nostrils and turned back.

“I was at the supermarket and it was raining pretty heavily. I tried booking a cab and it took a lot of time for it to come.” I said with my head down and biting my lips.

“You could have called me, Noah,” she shouted. Called her-- so that she could give a lecture for an hour. It’s better to stand there than to ask my Mom to pick me up.

“It won’t happen next time,” I said in a low voice. My Mom looked at me with anger. She doesn’t believe my words. She never did.

“Noah, You need to stop all this,” she yelled at me. What is her problem? She never allows me to go to a party or hang out with my friends. She always keeps yelling at me when I am not even at fault.

“Mom, stop it, please. Just stop giving me orders. You have made my life hell. I couldn’t enjoy it, I just couldn’t do anything. I am not a child. I am 21 years old.” I yelled at her and ran towards my room. I slammed the door harder and jumped on my bed with tears in my eyes. She just ruined my day. It’s not about today but every day she behaves like this.

“Don’t behave like you are my mother,” she said banging on the door. I wish Dad could be here with me. Mom and Dad got divorced when I was 19 years old. My Dad wanted to take me with him but my Mom did every possible thing to keep me with her. Now she is scared that I will leave her too. She always keeps an eye on me and knows everything that I do. It’s like I am living in a prison. I want to get out of here. I want to be with my Dad. I have always wished to be with him.

Sometimes we don’t get what we want and we have to adjust to everything. But at one point, everything slips away and we don’t want to adjust anymore. We don’t want to live our lives for others. We want to enjoy every moment and live for ourselves. But we just hold back because we think that our actions could hurt the other person. But why are we the only one who needs to think about others? Why don’t the other people think about us and our happiness? Why do we need to compromise with everything in our life?