From Struggle to Strength: Journeys of Refugee Resilience

Tamim

A treasured childhood of opulence and relaxation is preserved in the memory of Tamim's early life, residing in the vibrant city of Kabul, Afghanistan. Surrounded by a close, hard-working family and a dynamic Afghan culture, Tamim enjoyed the comfortable safety and support of his caring and protective parents and the companionship of his brother, Tawab, and sister, Yasmeen. Only eight years old, Tamim was obscured from the complex struggles that would inevitably complicate his future, only concerned with playing soccer outside with his friends and spending time under the radiant Afghan sun. As a young boy, his relaxed sense of limitless freedom allowed him to enjoy the pleasantries of his energetic neighborhood friends, spending time with his close grandparents, and bicycling outdoors, basking in the simple vibrancy of Kabul. However, his innocent joy was underwhelmed by the tumultuous conditions of his country. Unbeknownst to him, the threat of civil war was gingerly invading the minds of watchful adults throughout Afghanistan, including Tamim’s parents, Roshan and Ghulam.

While life in Kabul may have seemed boundless and carefree to young Tamim, his mother and father were deeply troubled with protecting their growing family from intense recent political turmoil. The seeds of their early concerns were planted just a few years after Tamim was born-- In 1979, the communist Soviet Union invaded Afghanistan, justified by their adherence to the Brezhnev doctrine, which was an obligation for Soviets to interfere anywhere that communism was threatened. Upon invasion, the formidable Soviet armies captured Afghanistan’s government and collapsed the short-lived presidency of elected People’s leader Hafizullah Amin. By the end of the year, thousands of troops had been stationed throughout various parts of the country, assuming absolute military and political control of the growing nation. This strong and divisive presence of communism, pressured by the domineering Soviets, disturbed parents throughout the country, who were fearful of raising their children in a country controlled by a regime that boldly denounced democracy and upheld economically unstable ideas, yet lacked the political power to demonstrate safe or meaningful resistance.

Due to the helplessness of Afghan citizens, deeply disturbing and bloody civil conflicts erupted throughout the country throughout the 1980s, following the Soviet invasion. In populous cities, immeasurable Soviet armies and their intimidating artillery poisoned the streets with tension and an undeniable communist pressure, angering civilians who rose against the divisive communist ideals that betrayed their country’s autonomy and alienated their independence. Massacres ensued as a response to resistance, as the Soviets murdered upwards of half a million Afghan citizens across the next decade. While this extent of staggering brutality was relatively isolated from Tamim’s region of Afghanistan, tensions heightened as suspicions grew that this danger may spread throughout the rest of the country, and thus Tamim’s parents feared they may not stay safe and comfortable for much longer, given the rapid expansion of such violence.

Lacking exposure or understanding of the complex struggles rattling his home, Tamim’s knowledge of these issues were limited to snippets of the hushed private whispers shared between worried adults or the brief glimpses of foreign soldiers perusing through the neighborhoods. Thus, he, along with most other children of Kabul, remained unaware of the bloody struggles that paved their futures in Afghanistan.

For Roshan and Ghulam, concerns for their children’s futures bloomed into meticulous and deliberate plans of resistance. Across three years of dangerous and intense deliberation, Tamim’s parents worked in cautious silence to organize a delicate plan of escape, careful to avoid alerting the vigilant government of their plans to leave. Under the oppressive Soviet regime, permanent migration was punishable by law and incredibly dangerous. Abandoning the country was forbidden. Upon suspicion that you may be plotting escape, the Soviets would swiftly take your children, your home, your freedom-- a threat that greatly endangered Tamim’s family. Thus, in order to leave without fear of government retaliation, it was necessary that his family must leave without notifying their extended family. To avoid raising suspicion, they also refrained from selling their house or furniture, despite the need for money to complete their journey. Carefully, they were able to coordinate a bus to smuggle them across the Pakistani border, although at an indefinite time. To ensure their safety, Tamim’s parents didn’t warn their children of the upcoming migration, fearing that they may accidentally speak of it to others, inadvertently alerting people that may interfere with their plans or punish them for their resistance.

This lack of warning or context caused staggering confusion for Tamim when, on a late summer evening in 1982, he was awoken by a tall, unrecognizable woman, clad head to toe in an anonymous black burqa. The woman, later understood by Tamim to be their clandestine “smuggler”, beckoned the young boy to hurriedly follow her outside his home. Stepping outside of his home for the last time, possessing only the clothes on his back and the fears of his future, each troubled step brought him closer to his new life in America, his path illuminated only by the twinkling Afghan stars under which he followed this strange woman. Speaking in an unrecognizable Farsi dialect, the ambiguous smuggler led their bewildered family to a small bus, filled with sheep and chicken. She directed them inside, instructing them to reside in this bus alongside the farm animals as they made the journey across the Pakistani border, which was their first destination.

The most vivid memory of that night was the unshakable waves of cold, exacerbated by the chill of fear and isolation that engulfed Tamim’s mind within that bus. His father was required to take a different journey to reach Pakistan, as men traveled separately from the women and children-- an isolation that concerned their family. Furthermore, the threat of Soviet capture loomed over their journey. If they were caught attempting to leave the country, the consequences would be drastic for his parents. They would be forced to return to their life in Afghanistan, Thus, the air of the bus was rich with apprehension and terror, manifesting into a nervous and uncertain sense that something big was about to happen.

Additionally, Tamim felt uneasy and fearful of his imminent life in America. Realistically, he understood that the culture, language, and life was extremely different in a country so distinct from his. He feared that the language barrier would interfere with his ability to make friends or be accepted amongst other children. His family also lacked a strong established support system in the foreign country. They had few Afghan relatives that had successfully reached America, and thus had very few family members to help support his family’s transition to American life. Before even entering America, he felt alone in it.

And yet, he found himself amazingly excited by the prospect of life in a land with so much opportunity and happiness. He envisioned a boundless expanse of materialistic freedom-- cars, planes, toys, and Burger Kings-- all symptoms of highly comfortable lifestyles that his family lacked in Afghanistan. Tamim’s expectations of clean cities and convenient activities available in America interested him. Despite the undeniable challenges of assimilating from such a distinct country, he felt hopeful towards learning about American culture, and found himself overwhelmingly excited to become an American.

After reuniting with his father, his family resided in Pakistan for a few years to arrange asylum farther away in America. Eventually, they found a family in Concord, California that could sponsor them, enabling them to come to America for asylum, seas away from both the perils and familiarities of life in Kabul.

Upon arriving in America, Tamim was enthralled by the overwhelmingly positive first impression of America. He quickly found that America was a great place to be young, because so many young people seemed extremely healthy and fulfilled. In the 80s, adolescents in suburban America were the embodiment of carefree delight. They would spend warm summer afternoons riding bicycles across town, visiting energetic arcades and vibrant malls, which were amenities that symbolized easy indications of the American dream that Tamim envisioned. More than anything, he was particularly impressed with the quality of the schools. The abundance of desks, chairs, and learning materials was incredible. Even better, the teachers were very kind and dedicated, as their influence was very positive and their encouragement was plentiful.

He also found that support was abundant wherever needed, and his family found comfort in the dynamic and supportive networks of assistance, built by other refugees of similar backgrounds, bonding over their shared hopes and challenges. Many people who settled down in America before Tamim’s family helped them assimilate into their cultural norms and transition into American life. For instance, they introduced his family to all sorts of objects and processes that were foreign to them, such as how to acquire electric service, the complexities of renting an apartment, the process of acquiring a car or a drivers license, and more steps that were necessary to thriving as a functioning member of society. While his parents found support in other refugees, Tamim depended on his experiences at school as the structure for his life.

On his first day of American school, he was first introduced to his fourth grade teacher, Mrs. Lent, who he noticed was very compassionate and empathetic of his inexperience as an American citizen. She introduced Tamim to other students and led him towards a group of four desks, where other children sat in a circle. Talking to other students was a point of uncertainty for Tamim, considering his inexperience with English and lack of understanding of American culture that all other students seemed to unanimously share. However, he found that as he exposed himself more to the language and spent longer in American school, he naturally settled into the norm of American life, gradually bonding with his fellow students as their similarities converged. In fact, the longer he spent in America, the more he adapted. Everything from how he spoke to his thoughts and routines underwent renovation and expansion.

Despite these changes made to his activities and habits as a symptom of his assimilation, his deep rooted conventions and characteristics held strong throughout his life, such as his adherence to Islam and fluency in Farsi. Many of his core values and characteristics were acquired as a result of his transition from Afghanistan to America, such as that of his gratitude for simple American amenities, like clean roads, plentiful supermarkets, and the availability of educational opportunities in school and libraries, privileges that were foreign to him in his past life.

Of course, pursuing school was always a major priority. By coming to America, his parents offered him the rare opportunity to reach success through higher education, a freedom that was much limited in Afghanistan. Excelling at school was Tamim’s way of expressing gratitude towards the fortune of the opportunity to live in America, and this goal endured throughout his childhood and adult life. The value he placed on education and self-sufficiency led him to pursue a college degree and later a career as a successful physician, an effort that was fueled by his determination to find acceptance and harmony in a nation that became his home.