Awakening

A raven.

Raven Winter watched the bird, her namesake, as it circled lazily in the sky above her and knew she was wrong. It is a hawk perhaps, she thought, watching. A raven would not fly this high among the mountain peaks. The blackness of it must have been an illusion, a play of sunlight and shadow. Unless it’s a miracle, which it could be. Raven had no trouble believing in miracles and it was that kind of day. Perfect and beautiful in every way imaginable. As if reading her thoughts, she saw her partner, Brady, smile down from where he was stopped on a ledge above. She smiled back.

Brady, lean and handsome, was connected to a safety line attached to his climbing harness. His strong legs and muscular body pressed against the cold stone of the mountain face. Raven knew mountaineering was always such a joy for him and she was happy it was something they could share. It was an important part of his life. Even though he claimed he was a novice, only having begun the sport three years ago, she was completely confident in his skill and experience. She had wholeheartedly agreed to let him teach her how to mountain climb and over the last year while they were dating, many weekends were spent on some rock face or another. Today, however, was turning out to be the most beautiful, most magical, ascent of them all.

“Everything okay?” Brady yelled down to her, a slight wind threatening to steal his words. Raven waved reassuringly to him. She was fine. Just resting for a moment and taking in the breathtaking beauty of the world around her. A kaleidoscope of whites, blues, and grays. She hung about three hundred feet below Brady, using her own agile but strong frame to hold her in place. A snowflake whispered across Raven’s cheek as she found new handholds on the miniscule ledge where she rested, preparing to move upward again. The trace of moisture felt much like an innocent child’s kiss and Raven smiled. If my fifth-grade elementary school class could see me now! she thought and pushed off to keep going.

Raven was new to climbing but had taken to it with the natural ease she took to all athletic endeavors. All twenty-seven years of her life she was good at anything physical. Even as a baby, she walked early and her parents swore she came out of the womb running. She excelled at sports, being all-state in cross-country and women’s field hockey, and now loved competitive amateur tennis as an adult. But what Raven enjoyed the most of all was the challenge of pushing her body and always testing her limits. Which was exactly why mountain climbing was so perfect for her. The sport was exciting and today’s climb was her idea. She had wanted to attack the difficult climb she and Brady were on. At first Brady had been hesitant to take her to such a high and challenging spot, one in which he was not as familiar with, but eventually he gave into her charms and agreed.

Now she was especially glad they had come. The scenic beauty of the snowcapped Sierra Nevada Mountains was absolutely breathtaking and they had enjoyed spectacular weather. The last two days had been unseasonably warm and made it possible to get to areas and be at heights which were normally already closed in mid-November. Today was another near perfect morning and Raven felt a pang of sadness this would be their last climb before returning to Los Angeles. A part of her wished they could explore always. Although she loved her life and her career, the sense of freedom and adventure of being out in the raw wild appealed to a craving within her to experience more of the world around her.

The feeling, the inner need, vague but ever persistent, had always been with her. Even when she was a child, Raven sensed the universe had something greater in mind for her, that she was destined to do important things, and make a difference in the world. In the back of her mind was a small but powerful wanting, pushing her to continually analyze her choices and question if she was living up to her full potential. Teaching brought some relief. Although she had explored being a doctor or a lawyer, and was easily intelligent enough to be either, teaching was what drew her most and she was great at it. She loved enlightening the young minds who ventured through her classroom year after year. Her students were like sponges and it was very fulfilling work. Every fall, Raven was excited to see the little personalities who would walk through her door. They challenged and inspired her and she never regretted choosing the profession. Yet, at times the vague feeling to accomplish something larger, more significant, was very strong. Some mornings she would wake up, having dreamt of things she could not remember, and feel almost an ache in her heart to do more. Always she was left wondering what the more could be. Today was one of those mornings. Raven had woken with an intense sense of adventure running through her. She originally believed it was only her desire to climb, which was making her excited, but now, though they were high on the mountain and the day was thrilling, her inner compass still tingled.

High above the sheer slope where Brady and Raven climbed, the unseasonably warm sun glistened off the pure white snow. Buried deep below the crystal surface, ancient glacier ice, blue and patient for lifetimes, waited for sunlight which never came. Shifting with undetectable slowness, the great weight of snow moved on the mountain top and carved the rock face perfectly smooth. Almost. The tiniest of stones, caught in the ice wall, had begun a minute crack hundreds of years ago. Over the centuries, the crack spread and amplified. Finally, as if waiting for the perfect temperature and the perfect moment, on this single day in November, the ice gave way and began to slip.

Brady, still waiting for Raven to reach him so they could continue upward together, seemed to feel the sound of the ice cracking above him before he actually heard it. The resonance of it sent a tremor through his entire being and reflex made him glance upward at the glistening snowcapped peaks. When he did look up, he saw and he knew. The mountain was moving. The snow and ice were becoming an avalanche. Raven heard it a moment later, just before Brady began to scream her name. In amazement at the spectacle of something once solid suddenly moving in one great mass, Raven froze in place and watched as the ice of ages descended upon them. She saw Brady repelling down in a frantic descent. “We have to move!” he yelled, barely audible over the building sound of the rumble rising from the mountain.

Raven understood. The avalanche would come down straight on them and they stood no chance against the white mass rushing from above. The ledge she had stopped at would provide no shelter. Glancing around quickly, she realized there were no indentations or crevices to try to press into. Looking up again, the moving snow now becoming a massive, roaring tide, she saw Brady quickly coming at her. But the avalanche, gaining momentum as more and more snow slipped free with it, was too fast.

He can’t possibly outrun it, Raven thought before she realized he was only trying to reach her and not trying to escape. As she watched, she knew he wouldn’t make it in time. In that instance, Raven realized she wouldn’t either. My life is over, she thought, strangely feeling no panic or fear. And there was so much more I wanted to do… Raven suddenly felt a deep sadness of unfulfilled desires and destinies. She knew they had no chance against the force of nature descending. With no other alternative, Raven pushed back from the narrow shelf and let herself fall. The safety line whizzed through the eye-hooks as she gracefully descended.

I’m flying, she thought just as the edge of the avalanche caught her. With barely a tug, Raven’s safety line snapped and she fell through space as one with the powdery whiteness. Enveloped in the snow, she realized for a second the avalanche was carrying her in a veil of white. Nothing but air stood between her, the rolling cloud, and the valley below. It’s so peaceful, she thought, surprisingly not afraid, having faith this was as it was meant to be and she would go on to a better place.

She was completely frozen by the time the avalanche planted her in the snow filled ravine far below. Tucked into a fetal position, Raven plunged even deeper into the soft bank and was gone.