Skyler

Everyone has two faces as coins have two sides. We see what people want to show but not what they really are.

As usual, I had breakfast and fed my fish. Then, I turned on the radio and ’the great pretender’ by The Platters set the mood. After that, I tried to get dressed but there were lots of clothes to choose from. A denim jacket was staring at me. I thought that I’d already thrown it away when I spring-cleaned my wardrobe. It’s fascinated me ever since Nick Robinson wore it in the movie ”Love Simon." The piece of clothing altered my routine and took me back to those days. When I barely looked at myself, because it was a mirror that reflected someone I felt sorry. As time passed, a shy boy became a pretty girl who remained strong, and most importantly was brave. I’d like to say that growing up was easy-peasy but I’m still learning to mature in this new world.

Fifteen years ago I betrayed myself; I was living as a different person. A boy who followed rules, and accepted all that society demanded from him. However, what if he didn’t feel like that? What if outside was blue and inside pink? I was tired of pleasing everyone.

The jacket had evoked memories of my adolescence. In high school, art was my favourite subject. As an assignment, we had to draw about our feelings and emotions. The result, a person trapped in a cage in the middle of the sea; no one understood what I’d drawn. I explained that, as birds, if teenagers didn’t learn to fly, they wouldn’t be able to survive outside. My speech had been pretty original and the teacher congratulated me. Concerning the picture, it portrayed my life. A lonely girl confined in a different body who has been crying since she was five. It was her time to escape from the darkness. She needed some help because mankind had decided to stigmatize people like her.

I was raised in a place where the elder woman made most decisions. As the only boy, I got used to talking about women’s issues. My two sisters have always looked after me at school or at home when my mother was out. They could protect me but I was alone facing a battle about my gender and identity. Besides, I didn’t know how to explain my fears and doubts to them. Was it okay to break the rules? How to speak up and tell them that their male kid wanted to be a girl? Finally, a question always racked my brain like a ghost spooking me, mom, would you still love me?

The story ends with questions for the reader. The purpose of this flash fiction is to highlight the importance of the LGTBQ+ community. In the past homosexual people were persecuted and stigmatised. Currently transgender have to deal with the same problems. Even though the world has been fostering acceptance among all individuals and laws have been passed, I still believe that those were baby steps with some minor changes. The reader will decide whether the lines below answer the enquirers in order to continue, or they may be an alternative ending.

Coming out required overcoming my fears. An astonished mother, two cheerful sisters, and an emotional granny. They were my close family members who I came clean about the truth.

The real me, not the introverted guy who suffered, and fought those feelings that wanted to advise him. I was finally free, my wings sprouted and I was ready to fly away. No one would hide this girl. Yes, a girl! I was able to say it in front of my family. They took their time to understand what the word ‘transgender’ meant. The Internet helped me during my transition. It’s a pity that, in the past, the net hasn’t even scratched the surface.

Classmates were really surprised when I entered the classroom wearing a skirt and a white blouse, very stylish, a kind of preppy style. Questions concerning ‘the new me’ aroused the school and breaks. My friends supported me and the teachers were so happy for me. They said that I didn’t smile or laugh. I was angry, so cool and detached from the world.

Walls had been broken down, and I spent my last year in high school as I’ve been dreaming. The stunning lady who endures all things, and is unstoppable. University is my next step and I will be prepared for it. I am not afraid of being myself. You can tell that life is hard, but not impossible. Coins have two sides. But I think there’s a third one, only seen, by the bravest.