Back Again
I am being plagued, every time I close my eyes and drift away into a deep slumber.
“No, Marcus don’t please,” her screams following me into the darkness.
“Please wake up, stay with me Marcus, you can’t leave me.” Every night on replay, I wake up feeling frozen, my eyes wet, I wish I could go back and cuddle her, tell her I never died, but I can’t. Sitting up I look around me; I gave everything up for her to be safe.
It has been nearly three years now, three years of no longer been called Marcus. Now I am Adrian, I look different, everything is different, and that day was the last I saw of Alena and the old team. That day, Marcus died, and when I woke up, I gave him up willingly every part of him.
I walk in to the main tent; the team are sat there waiting for instructions.
“Mate, when is this going to happen? We need to have some fun and let our hair down so to speak.” I turn, I don’t like been called mate, and I certainly am not here to answer his questions.
“I am not here to make fucking friends Watson do you understand me? You want to make friends, fuck off home, I am here to keep your arses alive, not be pals.” Mathew stands up straight looking at me.
“Sorry Sir, won’t happen again.” Standing waiting for confirmation he can sit back down.
“Sit down Watson; we have work to do.” Nodding he sits, everyone looking at him. I wasn’t always like this before in the navy we were a family, but look where that got us. I wish I could relax, but I know if I do, if I start letting people get in I will get hurt, and I have enough with Alena’s broken face within my mind without adding more, I wish I could see her, even a picture.
Walking to the front everyone sits waiting for me to give details.
“So, there is a large number of weapons coming into the UK, all we know if the leader’s wife has access to a business, this business is where they are going to be stored. We have no idea if the owner is aware or not, so each person will have their task. Some may be employed at the business, others just following the woman, looking for anything suspicious”
I look down at the folder, everything I need to know. I don’t even know everything yet, just what I told them. My hand goes down opening the folder, unsure where we are going, what the business is or anything. Opening it I freeze, is this a joke, I look up at everyone, who knows?
“Boss” Looking up Trevor is looking at me, no one knows my past, so why is Alena’s portrait the image at the top of the file?
“Right, go take a few hours, I need to sort something.” Closing the folder I walk out, going to my bunk I open it looking again, it has to be a mistake, Alena wouldn’t be into this. Reading through I realise her business is the one where the weapons are planned to be stored.
No way would she agree, reading through I can see she has opened the business in other locations already. I smile knowing my money helped, yet at the same time, the growth rate has made her a target. I shouldn’t have been given this mission, not at all. Getting up I walk out, knocking on the door I wait for a reply allowing me to go in.
“Come in.” Walking in I place the folder on the desk.
“Problem Adrian?” He seems so calm and cool like this wasn’t going to cause issues.
“Yes, why the hell would you give me a mission to go back to my old life? What the hell do you think will happen?” He shakes his head pointing to the seat, sitting down he looks at me.
“Look, Adrian, you know them, there is a chance you and only you will be able to get your foot through the door. Jackson is looking for a personal body guard for Alena, and I know if Alena sees you, she will choose you.” I shake my head, this is messed up.
“Then what? What happens when the mission is over, and she doesn’t want me to leave again? The whole point was I was to stay away from my old life, not get pulled back into it.”
He laughs, pulling out a picture of me.
“That right there was Marcus” he places a picture next to it.
“That is you, Adrian. Now, providing you don’t go jumping in bed with her, getting naked she won’t know it is you. You don’t look the same, some of your tattoos have been covered, some removed, you have changed enough Adrian that she would not recognise you, including the scar, and your change of voice since the damage.” I look at the two pictures, he is right. I don’t look the same anymore, yet I know, I can’t do it, I still love her and no matter how much I fool myself I know I do.
“Look, your choice entirely, but if we don’t get in using this body guard opportunity, we can’t help her and then she will be going down for charges as well.” I look at her picture, then one beneath, her Jackson and the girls, a little boy as well, she had a boy. I can’t not protect her, I will, and then I will leave, she won’t know it is me, so there is no risk of falling back into it.
“Okay, so I am applying for this job then?” He laughs shaking his head.
“Sorry, no I already sent it in, your meeting her tomorrow. Good luck Adrian.” I look at him, tomorrow?
“Where is Jackson?” will he realise and how has he not noticed?
“Jackson is abroad; he left three days ago, something to do with a new business location. They are using this time he is away to take advantage, and they are succeeding right now. Don’t worry, all the other guys are on missions, you will only see Alena, and Liam and Georgina from time to time.” Nodding I stand up, getting the folder, ready to face my old life.
“There is something else Adrian; you may want to sit for this.” I turn sitting down looking for him, what else is there?
“While finding out information, we found out about the boy, Marcus that Alena has. There are questions about the dad.” I shake my head that isn’t possible.
“No there isn’t, it was all sorted before I left, the date me and Alena slept together was not connected.” He slides paper towards me.
“I am saying this as if there is talk of it, I don’t want you rushing in shouting you are Marcus, you need to be prepared.” Sitting I look through the statement.
“How could that be?” The statement saying that there were doubts after Marcus was born, Jackson took tests, and Marcus isn’t his. I used something every time, every time we were in the playroom together I used something.
“Wait.” I look at him.
“Yes Adrian, The likely hood is Marcus is your son.” I can’t do this, I can’t do any of it.
“Adrian, if you fuck this up, you cost her, her own life. She won’t escape prison, so either get your head sorted or I will try to find someone else, but you have a connection, and she will feel it. That is what will make her choose you tomorrow.” Getting up I walk out, packing I plan to leave, going back to the tent everyone is sat waiting again.
“I have a location where we are staying at, I am hopefully going to get my foot in the door by being a body guard.” Sitting I explain what each person will do. I explain I will bring in Trevor to be working at her business making sure it safe, I explain everything, leaving out my old life and my connection. We all get ready and set off, arriving I look around, we are so close to Alena’s, I feel like crying but I can’t.
“Right, it is late, get some sleep, I am out early for this interview, I expect everyone to do their jobs tomorrow without me giving guidance. Please do not speak to the locals or anyone about what you do, use your fake job’s, families and everything else.” I walk to one of the rooms, lying down looking at the picture, is Marcus mine? Maybe he has it wrong; he needs to have it wrong because this is going to make it a lot harder to walk away from Alena after the mission.
Rolling over I fall asleep, the visions there again this time Alena holding a baby, why do they have to torture me like this? Waking up I get ready, walking downstairs everyone is ready to go about their days.
“Right lads, I am off.” They nod as I walk out, driving to Alena’s business, stopping outside I look at it, last time I was in there was that night everything happened with Jake.
