TenShide: Without Heaven

This world... or rather... This dark, scary, screaming hell that they all call world... Doesn’t need me.- The boy was thinking -It’s clear... I wasn’t even given a name... Everything since I was born, all the pain was for this very moment: I only have one thing left to do... The only one thing that fate has for someone like me- He looked down from the top of the building he was standing at In every single part of his body; in every limb, every vein and every last drop of his blood; he felt hopeless, useless and hated his own existance: every little moment of it. All his body and mind was filled sore with one desire: to DIE.

Will it really... help? Will it be better for me?

Of course. You won’t feel any more pain.- A voice in his mind was telling him.

The words and pictures had soaken deep into his mind and body.

“Yeah, right...“- He said with a lifeless, made-up smile on his face that kept his tears back from falling. He didn’t want to cry anymore.

I can’t dirty the ground with my tears...

He was just standing there for a little. Feeling the air, the wind as it blew on his hands and face coldly, the peace on the roof of the building. There was noone who looked at him with disgust. Noone told him how miserable, useless and rotten he was. Noone yelled at him, or hurt him. He was almost ready: But his mind had some last words for him.

Actually... You don’t matter.

His heart stopped beating for a second and his body felt incredibly heavy all of a sudden. All this, made that hardly-made-up smile turn into a frown and an ocean of tears.

You are noone. Nobody or nothing will miss you afterwards. No: They will only be happier, even.

His expression turned back into a smile: but this time, it was an honest one. No pain or regret in it: just happiness.

“Yeah, right...“- He said again, keeping that face.

So, jump already! Clean that ugly smile off of your face and accept it. You don’t even deserve to die happily.

He looked up to the sky and closed his eyes, saying one last thing, but even he didn’t know what it was. It just slipped out of his mouth. He took a step forward: and fell. Down, into the alley, behind all the streets and buildings; behind all the people. Nobody would find him. His corpse would just rot away at the point where he hit ground.

After this... there was no more, suddenly.

No feelings, no thoughts...

No life... It was over.

Everything was white: but very dark at the same time. He couldn’t sense anything. Still, he had seen something: A familiar face. One that was so precious to him, that it didn’t left him, even after everything else did. The person was talking: but he couldn’t understand it or what happened. He couldn’t recognize any traits of the person’s face or body. It was just a warm feeling, that was left in him after that someone disappeared. In his mind, body and soul that was all supposed to be dead...

It lived.

He suddenly opened his eyes and took a sudden, deep breath, choking on his own blood.

He was alive. It took him some time to realize what is going on, but he soon came to his senses.

Again... Why... Why, why, why, why, why, WHY?! WHY AM I STILL LIVING?! WHY?! WHY DO I MUST SUFFER?!!- All he could think of was the hatred towards himself. Towards his ugly, but somehow still living body.

“Plea.. se... Someone... Any.. one...“- He tried to speak, but it was hard while his own blood gurgled up from his throat and soaked every word of his.

“Just... Kill... Me... Please... Anyone... Please...”

As he managed to at least crawl, using only his arms to pull himself forward, he continued.

“Kill... me... Someone... Please...”

His sight started to fade, but he knew: This won’t be enough. He has to be killed once and for all. Otherwise... He won’t die. As he reached a branching in the alley, he spotted a person leaning to the wall, smoking a cigarette: This gave him hope.

“Please... anyone... just... kill...”

Then, he reached further and noticed the other three people standing there. He used up every last breath he could to keep talking.

“Please... kill... me...”

Then, he fainted. He still heard somebody talk.

“...Yosaku... Yosaku... Yosaku!”

Wow... what a strange phenomenon... hearing Jun’s voice now... wait. Jun?!

He suddenly woke up and sat up quick, breathing heavily. He felt around his surrounding: he was sitting on a bed, which felt kinda soft, although it looked a little old. Then he snapped out of his nightmare and finally came to his senses, accompanied by a slight headache. Something suddenly poked him from the side. He was startled and screamed, then looked to his right, finding out it was only Jun, poking him with a little stick he just found in the room.

“Finally~... I thought you’re going to sleep forever.“- He said with the usual lazy tone of his.

“Well... Sorry for that I guess.“- Yosaku said and he got out of the bed. Jun walked to the window and slided the curtains open: The sunlight shone inside the room and brightened it’s old walls up. The walls were crumbling at some spots and the room wasn’t properly painted. One of the windows was covered up with wooden planks and some plants grew inside the building. But it looked very nice and comfortable.

“What time is it?“- Yosaku asked, while he was pulling down his pajamas to get changed.

“It’s around 5pm, I guess... wait. Are you really getting changed now?“- Jun realized without even looking.

“Yeah dude.. I mean, I can’t just go out in pyjamas.”

“That’s not what I meant... How many times will we go through this again and again?”

“What?”

“It’s not normal to get naked while your dude is in the room with you!”

“...“- Yosaku just made a very tired face. He was still naked.

“Bro.. Who cares?“- He asked Jun.

“What do you meanwho cares?! I... uhh...“- He held onto his head, letting out a sigh.

Yosaku put on his pants and T-shirt and chuckled.

“I’m done, princess. You can look now.“- He said, adding a laugh to the end.

Their little home was in an old, kinda crumbly building deep in the Shiro Hoshi residential area, or in another name: the Shiro Hoshi Ghetto. It was the perfect place for hiding, far from the huge, rich cities, filled with angels and noble humans: Who were their enemies. The heart of their home was the living room, which also contained the kitchen and was the most spacious room. Every room’s door opened from the short corridor that connected the living room with the other rooms.

“AAaarghhh!“- A sound came from the living room, which made the boys stop for a little.

“You won again! How?!“- Itanai shouted, as she lowered her head onto her arms. She was sitting at a small table with Haruma, playing a card-game.

“Looks like it..“- Haruma said, sounding careless, but he wasn’t really. He just acted like it. He often looked sleepy as well. His face was a hard one to read emotions from, but he wasn’t lifeless. He liked laughing and when he smiled, he looked almost too happy, because of his usual acting. He had light-brown hair and grey eyes. He was also a bit short, and two smaller, gray wings came out of his back, accompanied by a gray halo above his head, which was a little dent and was never staying straight.

“You are the insane one hear, dude! What the hell?!’- It sounded from the room where the two boys were at.

“Yosaku’s up, I guess..“- Ita said, raising her head from her arms. ‘Ita’ was her nickname between her friends. Her hair was shoulder length, and it was made into a ponytail almost every time. Her eyes were dark-green and her teeth were pointy, giving her a very unusual, but nice look. She hang out with Haruma a lot. They enjoyed having conversations or anything, really. They were totally different, but their opinion on things were the same.

“Yeah... Oh, I should make something for breakfast.“- Haruma said as he stood up from the table, putting down the cards. He moved to the kitchen and took out some ingredients, then stared at them, thinking about what he should make out of this much.

It was some eggs, a little milk, some bread, tomatoes, carrots and a few potatoes. After Ita was done staring at the deck of cards, she suddenly jumped out of the seat and ran to the kitchen. She stood behind Haruma and put her hands on his shoulders.

“What’s that supposed to be?“- She asked out of curiosity.

“Uu-Uhhh...“- Haruma was a little confused, because Itanai interrrupted him all fo a sudden while he was setting the degrees on the little old oven in the kitchen.

“Well.. From the bread, I thought some french-toast would be nice and about the vegetables... I guess I will just put them in a baking tray and give them some seasoning, then just cook them.”

“Sounds nice! I’m sooo hungry already!~” -She said, then put a chair next to the cupboard and sat down to watch him cook.

“Hehehee~.“- She laughed a quietly.

“Is there something?“- Haruma asked, while he was slicing the carrots. He was looking at Ita, not giving a single glance to the vegetables which he was working on. He was quite good at it.

“Hm?”

“You chuckled...”

Ita smiled at him.

“Just like seing you cookin’! Also... You look cute like this, you know!~”

“Thanks, I guess...“- Haruma said looking a bit red. He cracked up the eggs and stirred them for the french toast. They noticed only then, that the boys weren’t making any more sounds in their room.

“They’ve been quiet for a while now, huh...“- Haruma said.

“Hm.“- Ita nodded.

The small corridor had two doors on each side and a window in the end. The first door on the right opened and the two boys walked out. Jun yawning and Yosaku scratching his head.

“Mornin’ guys!~“- Ita shouted and waved at them.

“Morning!“- Haruma said too.

“Hi, did you have a good sleep?“- Jun asked the guys in the kitchen.

“Don’t make this much noise. You are gonna wake Mika up.’- Yosaku told Ita.

“Oh, shut uuup! We know you like her but you just pay so much attention to these stuff. And, you’ve already woken her up probably.”

“Ahh... Ehehh.. Yeah, sorry..’- He admitted.

“AArhh... Why doesn’t Haruma pay this much attention to me?”

Haruma was confused.

“AAaahhh, Harumaaaa!~“- Ita said, in a cry-like tone.

“What do you want me to do?“- Haruma asked looking a bit irritated.

Ita was looking like she was thinking for a moment. But she seemingly failed.

“I don’t know...“- Ita answered, now sounding careless.

“We aren’t even in love though...“- He added.

“Yeah, whatever.. Is the food ready yet?“- She asked, trying not to pay attention to what Haruma last said.

“Almost...“- Haruma muttered while he was staring at the food in the oven.

Ita joined and started smelling the air.

“Oh, it smells nice!“- Ita said cheerfully.

“Yeah, it does!“- Yosaku agreed.

He then took it out and put it into bowls. The two guys sat down onto the sofa and Haruma gave them their breakfast: Each had the baked vegetables and two slices of french toast in it. Ita was eating in the kitchen, while she watched Haruma continue preparing the other bowls. “Wow, it’s really good!“- Yosaku said.

“It’s not much thought...“- Haruma added.

“Well, maybe someday we’ll have the money to eat different food, but... Damn, I would actually miss this!’- Jun said. He and Haruma were the best cooks in the household. Suddenly, they heard a bang from Mikazuki’s room, which was the first one on the left. Then, some more sounds and finally the door opened. Mikazuki, or as they called her, Mika came out, rubbing her eyes which weren’t even fully open yet. Her long, blonde and white hair wasn’t combed, it was all over her face. Just the typical morning-hair. She had purple eyes and she was taller and older then Ita, who was still taller than Haruma.

“Good morning everyone...ˇ“- She said and walked to the middle of the livingroom.

“Mikaaaa! Good morning!~“- Ita shouted and ran to her, then hugged her.

“Morning, Ita...~“- Mika said, as she hugged her back, although it wasn’t really a hug, because she was still very weak after just waking up.

“Morning, guys.“- She said to the two boys eating, and Haruma.

“Morning, Mika!“- Jun said.

“Good morning. You look just as astonishingly gourgeous as ever, Mika.’- Yosaku said, making a really cool look for himself with the unusual act.

“Thanks Yosaku..“- She said and she sat down onto another sofa. Ita was searching in the fridge and she finally found what she was looking for. Strawberries. She grabbed them and took a cup of coffee with herself as well. Then, she ran to Mika and gave her the coffee.

“Thank you..“- Mika said and took a sip of it. Then Ita grabbed a strawberry and sat down next to Mika.

“Say: aaaaaaaaa~!“- She asked her.

‘aaaaaaah...~’- Mika opened her mouth and Ita placed the strawberry in it. The two guys on the sofa were blushing so much they could have flown away.

I’m so proud.. My little sis has grown up to be so nice.- Jun thought.

They are beautiful.. This picture looks like heaven I guess..- Yosaku thought, while almost falling from the seat.

“Oh, Yosaku.. Did you sleep well after I left?“- Mika remembered.

“Well.. not really, but it was better, I guess... You should stay there with me more, you know.”

“Mhh.. It would be very weird though if I slept the whole night with you.. wouldn’t it?“- Mika said.

“I wouldn’t mind...“- Yosaku added, blushing. Mikazuki’s reaction was only a smile at him. Haruma walked to the calendar and looked up at it.

“Wow, it’s Wednesday already?”

“Uhh.. Yeah, why?“- Mika asked, sipping the coffee.

“Well.. Today is the day, isn’t it? Like.. The mission..”

. . .

It was all silent in the little room. Haruma pulled up theI can’t believe they all forgotface, but still noone got it.

Mika suddenly spit out her coffee and jumped out of the sofa, putting her hand on his head.

“Oh, of course! The mission!“- She remembered.

“How could I forget? How? Arhhh... I’m so bad at everything, sorry..”

“Don’t say that, it ain’t true!“- Ita said angrily.

“Yes, she is right! And even if you are, you are still beautiful..’- Yosaku winked at her.

“Well, everything is good yet, we are still on time. We go when the sun starts to set, rigth?“- Jun asked.

“Yeah, that’s the plan.“- She answered.

“We are going to a tomb. It is registered as a sacred place, so it’s always surrounded by guards, but.. It shouldn’t be that bad at night, when there are no visitors. It still won’t be an easy one... But I think there should be no problem.“- She explained.

“We have been getting ready for over a month now, after all.“- Jun said.

“What are we really looking for, again?“- Yosaku asked.

“We are looking for an object, that bears the power of the late fallen-angel of time. But that’s all we have got.”

“Ah, yeah, I remember now..“- Yosaku said, totally not remembering any of it.

“An object, huh... They didn’t give us much to work with...“- Jun said, letting out a sigh.

“It pays good though.“- Mika added.

“It’ll probably be a cursed weapon, right?“- Yosaku asked.

“Probably, yeah.”

“So...“- Haruma started and sat down.

“What will our tactics be?”

They were all just looking at each other in hope of hearing a throrough plan, but the only one person who said something was Itanai. And even she only spoke because the silence was too awkward.

“We go in, get the thing aaaaaand... Go out, I guess?”

“Well.. it’ll have to be more than that, I think..“- Mika said and looked through the team.

“Jun, you and Yosaku come up with a plan and the others, inculding me, go to the market to get something for lunch. Can I trust you with that?”

“Of course, just leave it to me. I mean, us.“- Jun corrected himself.

“Yeah, don’t leave me out of this! Worry not, it will be the best plan ever made!“- Yosaku said cheerfully, but it quickly got washed off of his face.

“So, we had a map.. We would need that, for first. But where did I... Oh, that’s right! Yosa, where did you put it?”

“Uh.. Uuuuh.. What do you mean?“- He asked back, sweating.

“Huh? I gave it to you, didn’t I?”

“Well...”

Jun got silent for a little and quickly figured everything out.

’Aaaarhh.. Spit it, what happened?..”

“Well.. You’ll see it when you enter our room, I guess..”

Jun put his hand on the doorknob, grabbing it as tight as he could, making Yosaku gulp very hard.

Then he opened it and quickly, they got his response.

“What the hell?! Yosaku!!”

He was already at the door, making a careless face, to hide his fear.

“I-it isn’t even my fault!”

“How is it not? I told you to put it somewhere safe!”

“A-and I did! I had no idea your stupid cat is going to take a dump on it!”

“So, it’s shit?!“- It echoed through the whole alley. Meanwhile in the livingroom, everybody just took a quick look at each other and left as fast as possible.

“I guess they are going to take their time, but.. You know them.“- Mikazuki tried to convince everybody that the plan is not a lost cause yet.

“Yeah, they will probably be like.. I don’t know, sitting on the couch having a serious conversation, sipping a cup of tea. Oh, and they will definietly be covered in dirt and bruises. From head to toe.“- Haruma said, making the others laugh at his prediction.

“Wouldn’t it be funny?”

“Yeah totally!”

They were just laughing at it, but as soon as they got back, they were totally surprised. The two guys were sitting on the couch, sipping tea, with the map in front of them, talking about the plan. And they were really covered in dirt.”

“You didn’t miss a detail, did you?“- Mikazuki said, astonished on the little guy’s prediction.

“Well, my intuition never fails me, after all.”

The guys then noticed the others and waved to them.

“Aren’t you supposed to be like.. fighting or something?“- Ita asked.

“What are you talking about?“- they both said.

“Heh? Were you two not fighting like twenty minutes ago?”

“Yeah, we were, but.. We had a little accident and...”

“What kind of accident?“- Mika asked them anxiously.

“It’s nothing! Doesn’t matter.. Anyways, we made up something together.“- They diverted the subject quickly. Mika and Ita sat down with Yosaku and went through the plan. Meanwhile, Jun went to the kitchen, to help Haruma cook lunch. Time passed by fast. Lunch was done and the plan was perfect. In an hour, they would start their mission.

“It’s a nice view, isn’t it?“- Mikazuki said as she and Haruma were looking at Jun cooking and the other two helping him.

“Hey, don’t eat it yet!“- Jun shouted to Yosaku.

“But it’s good!“- Ita said, while slurping up some of the freshly boiled pasta.

“Ahh... You two are children forwever, aren’t?“- Jun asked them.

“No, it’s just good!”

They all looked happy together.

“Yeah..“- Haruma answered anddó kept a little pause.

“You want to say you would do anything for your love to be happy?“- He asked, smiling a bit.

“Hahah~ I still think Yosaku is just really in that age.. It isn’t that serious, I’m just a nice girl in his eyes.“- Mika laughed at Haruma’s worlds.

“But.. I WOULD do anything for this family of ours to be happy.”

Haruma looked at Mikazuki’s face, seeing her shining eyes: They were like two full moons.He smiled and nodded.

“Yeah.. But I have a bad feeling about this one..”

“A bad feeling? About the mission?”

“Yeah... I know you’ll saydon’t worry so much, but we should.. really watch our steps.”

Mika put her hand on Haruma’s shoulder.

“Actually, I have a bad feeling about it too. The man who gave us the mission gave us a whole plan and everything, but I ignored it. It’s better to have an own one..”

She was in silence for a bit, then said: “I know you don’t want to.. me neither.. but if we get into trouble, we will have to use our powers. This is too important for us to stay alive..”

“I know.. We are really short on money now..“- Haruma agreed.

“But we really, REALLY have to be careful!”

“What is it your intuition tells you exactly?”

Haruma was quietly thinking for some time, then he said, as seriously as he could:

“If we don’t watch out...WE MIGHT DIE.”

Things I didn’t mention in the chapter and some explination:

*Shiro Hoshi -means white star. It was named in such a nice name, to make it sound better than it really is like. Formally, these Ghettos are called Residental Areas, but the people living there named them this after what they have seen with their own eyes.

*breakfast -demons’ days differ from humans and angels. They are originally up during night time and they sleep during the day. So, it is technically breakfast for them.

*the mission -they got it from a guy named Jiko, who works at the black market. He is giving such quest all over the ghettos.Their continent consists of big islands: And these island are devided to areas. Every area has it’s president, who are usually noble angels (obviously).In these areas, there are multiple medium sized and rich cities, which are surrounded by ordinary, big cities and these are surrounded by the Ghettos (Residential Areas). In the rich cities, live the most angels and nobles, in the ordinary cities live the ordinary citizens (humans and some angel), then all the demons and people with demonic ancestors try to survive.