Chapter 1
2 months ago
"Hey! Not fair! You must tell me who he is! I won't stop bothering you, until you tell me." Alex insisted, a playful smirk playing on her lips.
No matter how hard I tried, I was never able to keep anything from her. She could read me like an open book.
"Fine, I'll tell you. But you must promise not to tell anyone." I sighed.
"My lips are sealed. Now, tell me!" She exclaimed happily.
"Okay, okay! Do you remember Jacob from our history class?" I asked her, while walking towards her house.
"Yeah, of course I do. Isn't he the quiet guy? The one, that is practically invisible?" She inquired, curiosity evident on her face.
"Yes, exactly that one. He texted me the other day, asking if I wanted to meet him for coffee." I said smiling.
It was one of my happiest days.
"No way! Are you serious? That's amazing babe, I'm so happy for you!" Alex squealed, reaching over to hug me.
"Thanks, Alex!" I hugged her back.
We were standing on the sidewalk, waiting patiently to cross the street and go to her house.
"Tell me more! What happened? Did you go out with him?" She rambled on excitedly.
I chuckled at her enthusiasm. She was awfully sweet.
"One thing at a time, Lex. Yes, I did go with him, and we had a really good time. He's a cool guy." I answered with a smile.
We started crossing the street, when suddenly, I saw a car speeding towards our way and I quickly pulled myself back onto the sidewalk.
I tried to catch my breath, and when I did, I looked up to find Alex laying in the middle of the street, blood covering her face and arms.
"ALEX! NO!" I yelled, rushing to her side.
I carefully wrapped my hands around her head, and lifted her slowly.
"Alex, can you hear me? Alex? Please come back to me." I yelled, trying to wake her up, but to no avail.
Tears started to fall and I let them.
Couple of minutes later, I heard commotion, and turning back around, I saw the whole neighborhood drawn together around us, as if bound by an invisible thread.
"What the hell happened here?!" A man asked.
"Are you okay? Are you hurt?" A woman asked this time.
In that moment, all voices faded into nothing, as fear tightened its grip around my heart.
A hold on my shoulder brought me back to reality, and I looked up, to see a man looking down at me worriedly.
"Hey, you need any help?" He softly asked.
Finding the courage to utter words, I said, "Yeah, please call an ambulance. She needs help. Now."
The man nodded and hurriedly called for help.
Just a few minutes later, the ambulance arrived, and paramedics rushed to Alex.
"You can step back now, Miss. We'll take it from here." A female paramedic told me, and guided me to the ambulance, to get me checked for any injuries.
"Is she going to be alright?" I asked her, almost immediately. The feeling of dread still lingered.
She looked at me with a look of sadness and empathy at the same time.
"We can't know for sure. She has lost a lot of blood, and she also has a severe injury on her head. We'll be able to know more once we get her to the hospital." Her tone remained tender, though I could see it in her eyes. Things were bad.
"If you want, you can catch a ride with us to the hospital. There, you'll be able to find out more." She smiled at me warmly.
"Yes, that would be great. Thank you." I thanked her.
"Don't mention it. I'll finish up here, and then we'll go." She said and continued examining me.
Soon enough, we were on our way to the hospital and my anxiety was reaching its peak.
At the hospital, I was instructed to wait at the waiting area, while they took Alex to Intensive Care.
I waited and waited. God knows how long, until I would get an update on Alex.
A while later, the doctor finally emerged from Intensive Care and walked towards me.
He looked at me, his eyes filled with sympathy.
"Are you Lila Williams?" He asked to verify.
"Yes, that's me. What happened with Alex? Will she be okay?" I asked, fearing for the worst.
The doctor sighed deeply before answering.
"Are your parents, or anyone else here with you today?" He asked.
"Uh, no they're on a trip, why? What's going on? What are you keeping from me?" I asked, tears already starting to form.
"Here's the thing Miss Williams. As you already know, Miss Hayes suffered from a huge blood loss, and on top of that, she also had a severe head injury."
Why the fuck, was he speaking in a past tense? No. I don't even want to think about that.
"We were able to stop the bleeding successfully, but due to the concussion caused from her injury, her brain couldn't function properly, so she gave up. I'm sorry." He finished, looking at me with sympathy.
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. She can't be dead! No!
"Y-You mean that, s-she's dead?" I questioned, still not believing the events unfolding before me.
"I'm afraid so. I'm very sorry for your loss. Do you want us to call your parents, or somebody else?" The doctor offered, but I wasn't listening. I was focused on the first sentence.
She's dead. My best friend is dead. The person I relied on, is no longer with me.
I didn't even answer him, before running out the doors, crying my eyes out.
This is the worst day of my life, hands down.
Present
Lila
I woke up panting hard, sweat dripping down my face, as a fresh batch of tears started flowing down.
The image of my best friend laying on that street, is haunting me ever since the incident. I have had an extremely hard time sleeping, which is why I take a sleeping pill every night before bed.
It didn't work this time though. The image of Alex all bloody and helpless was too... vivid.
I check the time on my phone. 3:00 am. Great, there's no way I'm sleeping now.
My therapist told me that after suffering a loss like that, insomnia was to be expected. I just couldn't handle it anymore.
Ever since she passed away, everything has changed.
School isn't the same without her. I've lost all kinds of motivation for everything. I remember the first days after her passing, I was a total mess. I didn't eat, I couldn't sleep, and I refused to leave my room.
My room was the only place where her memory was strong, so, I stayed there day and night.
My parents tried encouraging me to go out and get some fresh air, but I always turned them down.
Back then, I didn't want to do anything without her.
Her funeral was the worst though. I couldn't stop crying. It was the worst thing, I could possibly go through. I remember her parents giving me loving looks when I read the goodbye speech, I had written for her. Now that I think about it, my heart breaks for them. Alex was their only daughter, and I can only imagine how hard that was for them.
Ever since she passed, I have been visiting their house to check on them, or see if they need anything.
Mr. and Mrs. Hayes are like second parents to me. Our parents were best friends, which is how me and Alex met. Since then, we have been inseparable. We did all the typical stuff, that family friends do. Dinner once a week, weekend excursions, and my favorite, summer holidays all together.
We were all so close with each other, it was honestly admirable.
After Alex's death though, our families broke apart. Her parents were very depressed, and they vanished completely from the picture. I can't blame them though. Their girl was dead. What could they have done?
That's when my downhill started as well.
As I mentioned before, I barely ate, and I had a bad case of insomnia. The first weeks were the worst. I was so depressed and lonely. It was getting unbearable.
One day, while my parents were out, I made one of the worst decisions in my life. I locked myself in the bathroom, and sat on the floor with a knife in my hand. I wasn't trying to be selfish. I just thought that if I died too, that way I could be reunited with Alex again. Also, the pain was too much to take. I wanted to be free from it. I wrote a note to my parents, saying goodbye and explaining the reason for my attempt. I then grabbed the knife again, and started creating cuts on my thighs, and then on my forearms. First left and then right.
I cut and cut, not giving a shit about the pain. Blood was flowing like a red river, but I didn't care. All I wanted, was to be next to Alex again.
A few minutes later, everything started spinning, and I fainted.
I didn't know how long I had been like that, until my dad broke down the door and rushed in to rescue me.
He drove us to the hospital, with me lying unconscious in the back seat, and my mother crying uncontrollably next to my dad.
At the hospital, the doctors treated my wounds immediately, and my dad donated his blood, because I had a huge lack and almost bled out.
I had to stay a couple days in, just so the doctors make sure everything is okay with my vitals and blood levels.
After I got discharged, my mother got me into therapy to get over Alex's death, and to talk about my feelings. I wasn't really in the mood for it, but I also understand the fear my mother felt, when she saw me all bloody, so I agreed.
To be honest, the time I spent seeing Dr. Ryan was helpful. She helped me with my grief and depression, and she prescribed me some sleeping pills to help with my insomnia.
I was never a huge fan of therapists, but Dr. Ryan wasn't like all the others. She always listened to what I had to say, and offered me different ways to cope with my situation.
Soon enough, I was doing way better, and I was feeling better with myself. It was also refreshing, seeing my parents so proud of me.
So, as you can see, I didn't have it easy. Hell, it affects me even now. But at least now, I have a support system and that's what matters.
-/-
Knowing I won't be able to go back to sleep, I plugged my earphones in and played a playlist that Alex had made for us some time ago.
Resting my head against the pillow, I closed my eyes thinking about all the happy memories I have of Alex.
