Chapter 1
Mama used to say it was a miracle that we were born as strong as we were. “My body wasn’t meant to handle much.” She would claim, when she would still stroke my cheeks and braid my hair. “But it was strong enough to have your Brother, so I decided it was strong enough to have you.”
And it’s true. She was always a little fragile. Easily getting sick, tiring quickly, and trembling at the slightest of tasks.
Abaddon, my older brother, says our health came from our father and that it was the only thing dad bothered to give him.
He was right of course. He looked just like Mama did. With fiery locks that curled beautifully and the prettiest piercing blue eyes. Strong shoulders and a narrow waist.
He was perfect, as Mama used to claim, especially since he inherited her ability to use Fire. His abilities were limited, much more limited than Mama’s were, even with her failing health. He could barely even form a Fire at all.
Sometimes, when I went fishing for compliments, she would glance at me and give a thin smile. “You are like your father.” Is all she would tell me. Somehow I didn’t think it was the praise I wanted her to give me.
Because Papa was never around, not since I was born at least. I knew he was around more when Abaddon was a toddler, but only visited once after I was born.
I didn’t even know what he looked like.
And then, at the mere age of five, my own abilities came in. They weren’t the same as everyone else in town. No, instead of a Fire core, I had a Sound core.
Mama flipped, quite suddenly, and I wasn’t getting as much attention as I used to.
She wasn’t trying to teach me how the Fire felt, or how to make my own flames. instead she would usher me outside and warn me against making any Sound.
But I needed a teacher in order to control the Sounds that were around me.
There was only one other Sound user in that little village, a man by the name Syrah and he was usually too inebriated to teach me anything. He was able to show me how to make Sound less loud and to focus my hearing to where I was, that was all I learned.
One year into my core’s manifestation, there came a missive from the King.
All children with core’s were to attend the nearest school or academy in order to learn control. Homeschooling was no longer an option.
So she made plans to send Abaddon and me to the same school. Even though Abaddon was five years older than me and I had a different core than him. We were in the same building, the same class, the same year.
He learned everything . . . I learned nothing.
I still went to the school, every week, with Abaddon leading the way with a swagger in his step.
Light manipulation was one of the first things Abaddon learned. Mama was so impressed when Abaddon showed her his new found skills. Sometimes she would turn to me and frown, as if wondering why I couldn’t be more like my brother. I started missing classes for a while. It only made everything worse.
Halfway through the school year, Syrah barged into the classroom and started yelling at everyone.
He apparently didn’t like that I wasn’t being taught Sound and claimed he could hear the Sounds I was making from miles away.
The teachers led him away. He came back the next day with a thick book and slammed it on my desk, demanding I learn from it and stop giving him a headache.
I read it every day during school, and learned what I could. I would look up words and meanings as often as I could in order to understand.
It turned out I was creating a humming with my Sound, a noise everyone with a core like mine could hear. I learned how to control it.
I went to show Syrah my progress. He gave me the rest of his old books and told me to learn from them as well.
I never saw him after that, no matter where I searched.
The rest of that year was spent learning from those books. Most of the Sound techniques were too advanced for my age and core strength.
And then one day, when I was about seven years old and two days away from starting the next school year, the shadows started following me.
It was small at first, happening right after I blew out my birthday candles. The shadows moved.
They seemed to be longer than they should have been, like they were reaching out to me. I reached to touch one, instinctively knowing that something remarkable was happening.
Mama made them vanish with a small flicker of Light in her hand.
She demanded I ignore them, to steer clear of the shadows that weren’t meant to be. She said she could never love a child that played in with the Darkness.
So from the Dark, I stayed away.
I ignored when the shadows would tell me to hide things in them, turned away when they started to whisper in my ears, ran to the sun when they tried to touch me, and when darkness fell upon the house? I closed my eyes to pretend it didn’t feel like coming home.
I threw myself into learning Sound, and everything that came with it. I started using other people’s voices instead of my own, I threw my voice as far as I could, I learned to make music with just my thoughts. It wasn’t enough.
Because I couldn’t always contain myself.
Once I woke up in the middle of the night and instead of finding myself unable to see, I found that the lack of light didn’t affect my vision like it should have.
Sometimes I found myself walking into a shadowed area inside, only to walk out in a completely different part of the house. Like instead of the kitchen, I’d end up in the bathroom.
Or, when I was angry, they seemed to wither with the same energy I would find inside myself.
I used to shove things under the bed when cleaning, only to find it all gone the next time I looked. It was as if those things were vanishing. I could never find them afterwards.
Eventually I had to tell Mama that the Dark was only getting stronger. That I couldn’t control what they did.
She was angry, scolded me and grounded me to the house. Telling me how I was a horrible daughter, she yelled until I cried. Abaddon watched but didn’t defend me.
He never did, now that I think about it.
After that she claimed to be feeling ill and went away with Abaddon for a few days.
I was used to her getting sick and needing to go, but she usually left a sitter with me, I was only eight after all. This time I was left alone. So I tried to be a good daughter and went to school that afternoon.
Except I had been withdrawn and no longer had a place there.
I tried to hang with my other friends but they all shunned me when the Dark shadows writhed on the ground.
I cried all the way home and waited for Mama to come back. For anyone to notice that something was wrong. I was hungry and tired and wanted someone to care for me.
“She’ll come back.” The shadows whispered, caressing my face as the sun went down. “Stay with us until she comes back.”
I think that was the first time I had willingly disobeyed my mother when it came to the Darkness.
Because I went into the shadows for the first time.
The shadow space had everything I had ever lost in it. My favorite dress, a broken toy, a mirror Abaddon had once thrown at me and I had hid under the bed, my favorite books. It was calm and I spent the next few hours playing with the shadows that blended into each other. They whispered things about bloodlines and massacres and so rare now and Dual-natures, but their words were too jumbled for me to understand. They told me secrets about the places around me and how I was blessed by the fates themselves and a great future must await me.
I was taught to dance like the shadows, though I wasn’t very good at it yet. We played until I was tired and fell asleep and only awoke when the shadows said Mama had returned.
I launched myself out of the darkest corners of the kitchen and greeted my family, glad they had come back so quickly. A cold greeting met mine.
I only learned later that night from the shadows that they had been gone for seven days. They whispered how Mama left me alone for those days and how nobody had ever come to check on me. How Mama had only come back when she thought I was gone. “Be weary.” One shadow whispered as it pulled a stuffed toy into its depths. “She has a danger in her.” Before I could ask what that meant, the shadow disappeared.
After that I watched her.
Mama avoided my touch, I learned. When I tried to hug her, she would pull away. I would go to grab her hand and she flinched backwards, as if disgusted by my small presence. Everytime I spoke, Sound or not, she would get the nastiest scowl on her face.
She would watch me sometimes, revulsion in her face as the shadows crawled around me. But she ignored me more often than not, as if I was never there in the first place.
Mama clearly loved Abaddon more than me. She gave him anything he wanted, but never did the same for me. He still got to go to school and practice his meager talents, but if I even sort of tried to use mine, I would get in trouble. No matter which ability I used, whether it be the Sound or the Dark, I was punished.
Leaving the house was also not an option unless Mama was beside me. Abaddon tried to take me out to play with the neighboring kids and got a scolding from Mama, who said I wasn’t allowed to play with them anymore.
“Abaddon.” She would tell him at night, long after I was supposed to be in bed. “Destiny has blessed you and cursed your sister. Watch out for what she might do. There is no salvation for her. She may walk in the light but the shadows haunt her every step.”
“Yes Mama.” He would chime in all perfect-like.
After that he ignored me when he could.
She never hurt me, but she never made me feel as if I was loved.
I started to rely on the shadows more than I relied on my Sound.
I slowly learned, as I had more shades and Dark creatures coming to me, that there were no Dark cores anywhere near me. In fact, after I sent some to go searching, I discovered none in the entire kingdom.
I wasn’t too concerned about this information, Mostly due to the fact that there had to be more out there somewhere . . .right?
“I haven’t seen one in so long . . . we thought he was the last.” The Dark follower muttered to me when I asked.
It was a tragic thing to know.
A few days after the truth came to me Mama burst into my room a screaming mess. She wanted to know who I told. Apparently there was a search for a Dark core. I didn’t understand what was so special about a random Dark core and told her this. I was locked in my room for three nights for that remark.
I used the time to teach myself more about the Dark.
I learned how to hone my ability to hide within the Dark and to warp the shadows to my figure, hiding me from sight.
I found out that I could use shades to grab things. Or make them disappear completely.
My favorite was the ability to make the Darkness grow until it filled the whole room, something I usually did when Mama and Abaddon were gone for days. It felt like walking somewhere I was always meant to be.
I only went to the shadow place once more, I lost four days that time and never visited again. Though the temptation was always there.
As my energy grew, so did my sight. I found that I could see the capabilities of everyone around me. Those who didn’t have affinities, harbored very little energy cores, while the few people I came across that did have abilities had stronger cores. Most of the village didn’t possess a strong core, visitors sometimes had something to look at, but not often. Abaddon’s core was weak, but Mama’s was weaker. And got weaker with each year that passed.
Until I was 14, when it finally died away.
At her deathbed, she refused to see me, claiming I had poisoned her with the Dark inside of me.
It wasn’t something I knew how to do at the time.
Abaddon was inconsolable after her death, and didn’t leave her room for days afterwards.
Once he did, he started blaming me for every misfortune that came his way.
He couldn’t find an apprenticeship for his abilities?
My fault for always outdoing him.
We fell into debt because of Mama’s spending habits?
My fault, for being such a taxing child.
The debt collectors came for the house?
My fault for leading them to us.
I took up an apprenticeship at the school in the next town over in order to help pay for as much as I could. When that failed as well, I started selling some of Mama’s more expensive jewelry. Abaddon and I ended up in a screaming match about it. I won, stating that it was all useless to us if we ended up without shelter to keep it all.
Brother retaliated and started selling my things when I was out one day, hoping to pay up the debt with my pathetic belongings, but even then it was too much for us. The collectors decided the only way to settle our debt was to take our house. We could keep clothes and personal belongings, but the furniture, necessities, and everything else was theirs to keep.
So, the day before they kicked us out, we went through the stuff we wanted to keep.
I had three dresses to my name after Abaddon’s little tantrum, so I was the one to go through Mama’s stuff while Abaddon nitpicked at what was going with him and what was to be sold.
I had decided to find lodging in the next town over, finish my apprenticeship and become a teacher there, knowing the town was too small for Abaddon to consider finding his own apprenticeship. Besides, anywhere he went in Alnwick would turn him away after seeing that my talents were superior to his. (Secretly I felt a little bad about stealing away any chance of him finding a job, but there would be other towns for him to shine in, far far away from Alnwick.) Once he realized there was nothing for him in there, he would leave and I would finally be able to start my own life without him or Mama hanging over me.
Just the thought of being my own person filled me with giddiness.
I turned back to the task at hand, listening to the shade of the old seamstress next door, I found out which dresses to sell, which was most of them. Most of the clothing was pricey and could be sold for a hefty amount of gold. The ones that couldn’t be sold either weren’t my style or weren’t worth keeping at all, so were tossed in a pile for charity. I intended to split the money with Abaddon evenly so that we would both be starting out with something.
“Keep this one.” The Dark creature that crawled from a corner warbled, shaky with excitement. “Sewn with thread made from a Daymare. So precious, so special.”
I shoved it into my own shadow and carried on, barely reacting as it shouted with glee.
“The red scarf. . .” It drags it towards my little hiding place. “So much magic inside…”
Even I could see that it was dripping with magical energy, though I wasn’t skilled enough to determine what it was. It too, went into my shadow.
The day continued like this, the Dark whispering at me to keep things or sell them. We ended up finding some abandoned jewelry in the back of Mama’s closet that was worth keeping. It was strange that I had never seen her wearing any of it, mostly because they would have looked lovely on her.
The necklace, choker, ring, and bracelet all matched in a stunning way and all had magic swirling through them. I decided to keep it all and shoved it back into my shadow space for keeping.
And I keep sorting.
More and more Dark came into the room until it was basically filled. The shrieking and laughing filled my ears.
It was pleasant and I found myself smiling as some of us hummed a Dark melody in a language only we could hear.
By the time night fell and Abaddon had gone to bed, most of Mama’s things were sorted. The Dark was filling the room and no light could be seen.
And then I found the letters.
Hidden so far under Mama’s bed that if it hadn’t been for a Dark shade, I never would have looked for them.
The first one, dated well before Abaddon’s or my birth, was a love letter and a pressed Fire flower.
My dearest Firelight
It has been ages since I have last seen you and my heart weeps.
I saw this and thought of you. Know that you are always here in my heart.
I will eagerly await your return to the estate so that we may once again be reunited.
These days seem so long and empty without you. That I truly cannot fathom another one without you.
Yours truly,
The Noble Sound
There were hundreds of letters like this, some with pressed flowers, others with little drawings on them. A few were just poems written to ‘Sunshine’, whom I presumed was Mama.
I skimmed through most of them, noticing that they were being sent less frequently up until-
My dearest Sunshine,
This news brings me great joy! I shall visit soon.
-The Noble Sound
And with it are two pictures; one of Mama, belly big and a wide smile to go with it and the other of a freshly born infant in Mama’s arms.
It was labeled two months before and after Abaddon was born.
These letters were from Mama’s lover . . . my father.
Suddenly excited,I flip through the letters until I get to July six years later.
And there it is. A picture of a baby with a man so tall he barely fits in the picture at all. The gray and white of the photo don’t lend to his features but I can already imagine them. Hair that blends into shadows and is a mess of curls, green eyes that look as murky as a swamp. If I squinted, I was sure that the man was covered in more freckles than I was.
On the back are two names.
Desdemona Umbra Gently
Tirion Mallory Gently
I blink confused. I didn’t recognise either of the names on the back
I look back at the picture with my brother on it and turn it around.
Abaddon Dorian Gently
Rebecca Malvolia Gently
That wasn’t our last name at all. And, upon looking at the picture of the man and baby, I realize it is definitely me in the picture, but that wasn’t my name.
My name was Alina Illusia Starling. Abaddon’s last name was Starling.
I turn to the loud shades and find the nearest one that was old as time. “What does this mean?”
“Lies! So many lies she told to keep you to herself.” The Dark one fades away.
Suddenly a letter is shoved into my arms.
- Send more pictures of our little ones -
And then another letter,
- I have yet to receive any photos of the Desdemona and Abaddon-
And another,
-Would you like to come home? I am sure the children will relish the fresh air of the countryside-
plus another,
-Please respond-
Then even more,
-Dearest Sunshine,
It burns my heart to hear this tragic news. To think our children would be ripped from us so early in their lives. I beg you to come home, to let me bury our children beside their ancestors.-
I am sorry to hear of you loss, but please don’t shut me out in your time of need-
-Do you have enough to give the children a proper burial -
-I miss the children-
-Please respond-
-I have moved into the palace. Come live with me-
I drop the letters.
It sounded as if the man thought we were dead. As if he had been told that his children were dead.
But why would she do that? Brother and I were both alive and well. What had made her lie to a man that clearly loved her?
I went through the letters, they continue for years. Every few would be a plea from my father to have Mama come home to him. Some would mention wanting to see where the children were buried so that he may lay flowers down. Those were usually followed by strongly worded letters about her refusal to see him and the fact that he had a right to mourn his children too. Two letters later there would be an apology.
I finally manage to catch up to the last letter, dated a week before Mama’s death, unopened due to her weakness.
Dearest Sunshine,
I understand Our time grows short.
I know illness has taken your strength once more, but I fear this time you will not recover as you usually have.
I have written to once more beg you to join me in the palace, there is a room that still awaits your presence.
We could once again be together.
I have left my seal inside this letter so that you might finally visit me at the least.
Truly yours,
The Noble Sound
Inside is a seal with the Dark rune engraved on it, with a tiny crow that matched the drawings that were scattered throughout the letters.
I shove the seal back into the envelope and shove the letters messily under the bed and rush to my room, dismissing the Dark from every room in the house.
I had much to think about before Abaddon found out.
I didn’t end up with the time to think at all.
Abaddon ended up finding the letters.
He had decided to act upon what he had found.
That morning, while I was selling everything of worth in Mama’s collection, he found one letter. The one letter I had missed when hiding them and it led to him finding them all.
When he realized our father worked for the Mage of the Dark? Well he planned everything out for us.
He sent word and canceled my apprenticeship at the school, canceled my lodging plans with the Yamadas, and sent another messenger ahead of us to the castle with a letter explaining to our father our situation.
Abaddon decided that we would both go and live with Father and live in luxury. Or, Abaddon would live in luxury while I found a job as a handmaiden. He doubted Father would want anything to do with me, due to my nature, but also believed he would want me somewhere he could keep an eye on me, in case I decided to give into my ‘villainous’ ways.
It would take a full week of travel by foot to get to the capital where our father resided. Brother had already spent all the silver he had gotten from my belongings to get himself a carriage willing to take him there.
He declared I would have to find my own way, seeing as he only paid for one person. Then, he had the audacity to ask for the gold that came from Mama’s belongings. Saying he would need it to sleep in hotels and acquire better clothing for himself.
I gave him nothing.
Told him that the debt collectors took it all. Abaddon didn’t bother to give me anything to travel with, so I decided I was right to not feel guilty about not giving him anything.
So the same day the carriage came to pick up my brother, I started my own journey.
Now traveling alone by foot, probably wasn’t my best idea, especially in the dress I was in.
The first day, I was constantly stopped by well meaning individuals that attempted to get me to go back home or to allow them to escort me to my destination for a fee.
I stuck to the shadows after that. Each time I spotted a carriage or a group of people, I stepped into the shade of a tree and continued on my way, jumping from spot to spot.
Traveling by shadow was hard, I constantly ended up in the wrong place and had to check my surroundings to verify where I was. I wasn’t able to use the technique very often, seeing as I didn’t know the place I was going too.
And then my first obstacle came.
“Men and weapons in the shadows.” The Dark creature that had been following me for a while now spoke. “They seek to harm any and all. Not from desperation, but of twisted desire.”
I paused, unsure as to what to do. I could avoid the men all together and be on my way, but that would force someone else, who probably wouldn’t have forewarned, to have to face them.
The Dark behind me shrieked loudly and I found myself stumbling away from the source.
Something was tearing apart the ground around me.
It was too large to be anything but an Earth core and if I squinted I could see their energy fluctuating underneath me.
And heading straight for the bandits.
