Gone With The Sin

Distant chatters faded into nothing. My mind focused on the delicate drops of rain that harshly splattered themselves on the window. My head against the coolness of the weather, arms crossed as I peered down below watching the cars pass by. Each and everyone in their own respective journeys, and here I am… wasting another day on another useless meeting.

“Good morning team,” the familiar deep, husky voice of my father projected across the room, cutting the laughter and talks from the colleagues on the meeting table. Everyone greeted my father, some even straightening themselves as soon as my father was close to them. I rolled my eyes — it’s so weird. My father stopped right beside me, smiling. I looked away, putting my attention back to the roads, though this time the cars were stalled.

I already knew where my place belonged, and he knew I knew with the smug look plastered on his face. I peeled myself away from the window, marching towards the table and taking the free seat beside John, the newest hire. As I sat down, I could have sworn I heard the swishing noise of a nervous swallow. I adjusted myself in my seat with my eyes glued on my father, who was too busy with his fingers in a piece of paper skimming through the notes. He rarely noticed me, though his six sense always seemed to be on high alert with my lack of presents; the attempted sneak outs with the past 10 meetings were enough evidence for me to see nothing can get past this man and his fatherly instincts.

“I see you’re all here, let this meeting begin,” He said, with a serious tone and a clap of a hand. He sat down on the chair, setting the powerpoint on the laptop. With his eyes still on the the digital screen, he demanded me with a flick of a hand, and a stern voice.

“Enxhel, come to the front and stop hiding between John,”

Without any hesitation, the ungodly screech of the chair against the fine marble rumbled across the room. I could see my father’s shoulders tense up as he momentarily paused his scrolling, then continued again after hearing my shuffling myself off the chair. Before I could even think twice, I found myself at the front. I didn’t fear him, but why add another job to my to-do-list for the perfect daughter and endure one of his many lectures.,

“As we all know, our marketing strategy is working, the business model is forever thriving and we will be making some changes in the future with how the company will be running as we expand on our business,” He paused for a second, as everyone in the room tapped their pens on their notebooks, possibly doodling what my old man had to say.

“Without being said,” My father stood up.

“I am proud to announce that my daughter will be the one who will be overlooking the branch in London and a handful of my luckiest employees will be working alongside her,” He gestured his hand towards me, prompting me to get up.

I pretended to be shocked, and gave a practised smile, as everyone clapped and cheered. It was a very well known secret that I’d be taking over the franchise in London. And I knew my father wouldn’t have put me in charge if it wasn’t for the fact he wanted to eradicate whatever I had left of the pathetic excuse of a social life. By definition, I had none. In his eyes, I had too much.

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After a good hour or so, the meeting peacefully ended with everyone happy with the debriefing. Just as I got up to leave with the crowd, my father firmly asked me to stay behind. As everyone made their way out, he turned towards me without a trace of emotion on his face.

“Vajze jeme,” (my daughter) his voice came out more gentle than the usual tone he uses.

“As we discussed a month prior, you will be going to London and overseeing the business,” He paused, looking away.

“I can’t believe our little girl...” my dad paused once again. I could sense the emotional build up.

My dad from the outside looked like he could tear mountains apart (and he would in a heartbeat), his silver and pepper hair always slicked back to perfection as he believed good hair showed good manners, and he’d always work out every day at exactly 4am in the morning, as he believed it a good exercised body equalled a exercised mind. He could easily choke slam a man triple his height and size worth his left hand, and continue writing his papers for his business on his right hand. But when it comes to his family, he was an emotional teddy bear - an overbearing emotional teddy bear.

″I know you’re all grown up, and we’ve spoken about how amazing you will be when you enter the office,″ My father placed his hand gently on my shoulder as he continued his heart-felt speech. As touching as it was, I knew the real reason. Control wrapped up in a present.

″I have decided that it’s best that my daughter have a bodyguard.”

“Now, now!″ He waved his hand in a dismissive way, not allowing me a space to interrupt.

″No need to thank your old man,″ He grinned. You could hear the proudness in his voice as he fixed his Prada shirt.

″I have chosen the best company to keep my one and only, precious daughter safe.″ I took a deep breath in and sharply exhaled. At 25 years old, my dad decided to stick a babysitter up my arse.

″Dad, is it necessary for me to have a babysitter?″ I questioned, propping one hip up with my hand on it and the other hand with my palm stretched out. He shifted his eyes with knitted brows.

″I said bodyguard, not ‘babysitter’, shpirti babs,″ (dad’s sweetheart). I threw my hands up in frustration, turning away from a smug looking father.

″Don’t do this, you know you’re too young to be up there alone. I can’t protect you.″

″Dad, what are you protecting me from?″ I turned around with full force and anger evident in my voice. His smug face immediately dropped, going back to his normal tense face. I couldn’t help but notice the fine lines on his face, which showcased the years of hard work and emotions.

I instantly regretted using the tone. I was the only living family he had. I could see the pain in his face, as he tried to hide behind the frown filled face. My heart sank to the bottom of my chest, as much as I didn’t believe in this arrangement, I can use my annoying tactics in increments.

I fumbled my words, with a few failed attempts resulting in air blabbered before I blurted out a confident “I’m sorry,”My father shook his head. He rested his arms on top of each other. He tried to hold the professionalism, but the father side of him took over, as he pointed a finger at me, waving it between him and I as he spoke with anger.

″You might think it’s excessive, however, I am doing what any good father would do.” He turned his head to the side, his crossed arms now resting on his hips, as he let out a loud sigh. I could feel my cheeks burning from the embarrassment. My left arm dangled down, supported by my right up that held the left elbow, and my head hung down slightly.

He finally looked at me, still in the pose, but his face displayed disappointment. And so did his harsh tone.

“Get back to your office, you have a lot to pack before your move.″ He picked up his work bag and left the room without a single word, leaving me to reflect on the argument in the big empty room.

I knew this wasn’t an isolated situation.Years and years of the same argument. The same restricted gifts and freedom. But in different fonts. I guess finally getting a bit of freedom came with strings I could never cut off. Deep down I knew what I said was right – anyone could hardly fault me for wanting more freedom. Without pondering on the matter any longer, I made my way out of the room and to my office.

As I entered my humble office, a strange man stood in the middle of the room with his back turned towards the door.

I looked back to the open desks to see if anyone else noticed the man. Everyone was occupied with their screens and tasks, and none paid attention to a gawking me. I turned my attention to the man in the room. He was now facing me, which took me by surprise.

I couldn’t help myself but study him with my eyes. He wore a tailored black suit, and his arms clasped together loosely in front of him, showing the hand tattoos with faded colours. As my eyes reached further up, I caught more of his tattoos, the ones peeking up through his collar bone near the start of the neck. I finally landed on his face. His black hair was tousled in a chic way, with one loose curl dropping down between his sharp brows. His well trimmed beard, tailored suit and chic hair made me believe he was someone important, prompting me to straighten my back.

“Hello Miss,” his raspy voice bringing me back to reality. I smiled slightly, walking further in and closing the door behind me. I outstretched my hand, and he did so too.

“Safe to assume you did your visual checks?” He questioned, with a chuckle at the end. I laughed as we shook our hands.

“I wasn’t expecting anyone,” I replied, with my hands now back to my side.

“Pardon me, as I wasn’t aware I was going to have anyone seeing me,” I said, all flustered at the thought I probably forgot I had a meeting.

“No worries miss, I’m sure you were not debriefed yet,” he reassured me with a small smile on his face.

“I am Luan,” he said, and oh I wished he stopped right there. But my life was never fair, and the next words he said shattered my reality.

“I am your personal bodyguard.”

So I wasted my time on a pest.