All I Know Is Cold
The cold morning rays shine upon me. The days are chilly; nonetheless, the sun still shines on this frigid morning. Chills run down my spine as I adjust to the blinding light, clashing forces send my mind into turmoil…
In the end, it doesn’t make a difference; sometimes, the sun’s rays aren’t what you’re looking for…
The sun’s heat doesn’t help my snowed-over soul; it just causes calamities on the surface, I’d rather hide under the crust than deal with the apocalypse above. I hope for a savior, knowing it will never come. I spent all my miracles on becoming who I am. Now I’m desolate…
I hope for warmth, not from the sun… But from another.
I’m hopeless in my quest to find such a thing of beauty. I’m young yet old, and finding another like me is asking for another miracle.
I never get what I want, just what I need…
I hope for similarity even though I feel as if I’m insane, searching for a reason to live…
I’m still here, not because my strength stands, but because I have a purpose…
Sacrifice for the betterment of society…
Be the binding light, be the hope, be a beacon of better days…
I may die for hundreds to live – even if that means more pain, more loneliness, and more tears. Somebody has to guide the lost souls… I shall do it, even if my worst fears come true…
Dying without knowing true love…
However, this icy air isn’t just cold because of the abandoned world, aspirations grow high, yet only the void listens, I am not a god-sent, I am not a king…
I’m just a fighter; my tears, loneliness, and pain drive me forward.
Every day, we lose another life from their selves. Every day, someone weeps for a lost one,
every day, someone feels like they weren’t enough for the one they loved.
Life isn’t something you get back…
Time isn’t you get back…
I do this not for fame, power, riches, women, drugs, or any other gain…
I do this for the lost souls trapped in the dark, a pain so crippling that they can’t see the light.
I will show them the light and make a new generation, fueled by their will to live…
I am not a god, I am not a miracle, I am not a savior….
I am an example; I’ve learned to walk so you can run, never look back, and just keep on running.
I am an example of the true power you hold. The mind is a powerful place; it can be a bottomless pit of depression, or it can be a well of prospering life….
You do not need to be someone greater to achieve this feat… You just have to believe…
I am not OK. I lack a deep connection to fill the hole in my heart.
Chronic chest pain attacks me every night. My body may be young, but my brain is ages ahead.
I cry in the nighttime because even when the sun’s rays shine down on me, I still feel alone…
Even with this wound, I carry on, knowing if I keep doing instead of hoping, tomorrow will be better…
The days of staring at the ceiling in the morning are over, the days of bland repetitiveness are over; that pain can be rid of, and it doesn’t require a body bag…
It is time to show the world that you’re going to stop taking its shit, if it punches you down, you come back swinging ten times harder because it is your right to fight for your life and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
It is your life and your life only, fuck the fake friends who never cared, and let the haters hate while you think of how you’re striving for a better life; they’ll never amount to shit while you build a skyscraper.
The only thing they can topple is their worthless lives.
It’s time to be better, it’s time to get up and do something with your life, it’s time to live.
Because in the blink of an eye, it can all be over, there is no second tries, there is no redo,
you don’t get time back, so spend it wisely…
I tell this to you to inspire life on the coldest of days. I know it is hard to soldier on, I wish I didn’t have to; it sucks even more when I’ve bettered myself, gotten rid of the negative thoughts, and turned to a new way of thinking. A glass-half-empty of chocolate milk still tastes great, although I can only get so far alone… This is where I falter;
I don’t have close friends – or someone who understands me…
I wish for intimacy because I’ve been trapped in my head for so long, I just want to be held… So devoid of physical touch, all I want to do is cuddle the night away…
I daydream about how my life could be so much better if I had that type of love…
I daydream a lot in particular, working for a better future that my current is neglected…
I say to myself, “The future will be better,” and that my struggles now will feed a brighter tomorrow.
I say this now because I’ve been fighting for my life and the tall order of my aspirations, I scream into the void, hoping someone listens. I focus my energy solely on my work, hoping someone appreciates the time, quality, and effort I pour into my products…
Still, it feels like no one is listening…
Nowadays, people see something, think it’s cool, and move on…
Likes, views, shares, and whatever other bullshit doesn’t matter to me…
The human element is what matters to me.
I put the human element into what I make, working for no one but the people…
Today, the possibilities are endless, but the chances are slimmer…
I don’t think I have much more to say…
If you actually read through this and liked it I’d appreciate it if you came sit by the fire pit…
It’s nice finding a new person has come along, makes my job a little less painful…
