Broken Reality

I once believed in letting life take its course. I believed that, in the end, everything would always happen as it should. And no, I wasn’t caught up in happy endings. I was the type of person who wanted to help even those who didn’t need it. For karma would see to it that my life would get better. Sure, the end goal may have been a little selfish, for my own preservation, but even doctors get paid for saving lives. Just as police officers get paid for putting criminals behind bars, and judges get paid for giving criminals the punishments they deserve.

It didn’t take long before growing up taught me the truth about the world’s cruelty. And even then, I still tried my best to help those who needed it. I think maybe that’s why I liked to read. It was a way to cope with the fact that my life would never be as interesting. The possibility of a happy ending was in the negatives. Stories gave me a way of living and experiencing billions of different realities.

As far as I knew, I was adopted at nine months. I had a mom and dad that loved me and a brother that loved me even more. They were my family for almost five years. We were the epitome of a normal family. That is, until a terrible car crash when I was five. Only my brother and I survived.

Their biological son, Desmond, and I were left orphaned. Though I technically was originally one. We stayed close for a while after that but Desmond was only four years older than me and the foster system did not consider us siblings. Which means they never even considered keeping us together. He was fortunate enough to end up with loving foster parents.

I on the other hand went from foster home to foster home. For a long time, it didn’t affect me; until I began to see the reality of life. I began to see myself as a burden that no one ever wanted. After that, I never again wanted to be someone’s responsibility. I was my own responsibility. No one would care about me the way I could. And yet, not even I cared about myself.

Reality is, people are selfish. The world is unfair. People who don’t deserve it live bad lives and those who deserve bad lives live good ones. The world is truly messed up. Karma is a bitch; but that’s because she punishes those who don’t deserve it.

I’m not saying I’m perfect either. I’ve never been good at following rules. I always accept the consequences. For I am responsible for my own actions. And irresponsible actions are worthy of consequences. Still, I didn’t think I deserved the sad life I had. I just wanted a family. I just wanted to be loved. But that was an unrealistic dream.

At age thirteen I got myself sent to a boarding school for unadopted troublemaking orphans. Think of it as a program where orphaned delinquents are shaped into what the world wants. That’s where I became Hope Carson. I never liked the name change. I don’t believe the name ever suited me. Hope was a perfect student who never broke the rules. My background was erased. My history was written as false statements.

Somehow, I managed to keep a single friend; Annalise Cade. In our erased past, we were in the foster system together. Thinking back to it, we could have become friends so much sooner. There was no one I trusted more.

In the end, I managed to find a home. A home, a family, and true friends. Only the home was not a place, but a person. I feel like this is where my story truly began. And I can assure you it was not at that stupid school.

Let’s start from the beginning.

It was a completely normal day. Which doesn’t really matter. Classes had been canceled for a ‘mental health day’. Or at least that’s what they wanted us to believe when in reality the staff was just tired of dealing with us. Or maybe I was wrong and they finally realized we all had mental issues.

After the usual morning routine, we were notified of a last-minute assembly. It was very off-script. We were all let in the auditorium one by one like the delinquents we apparently were. Annalise and I were sat up front. We waited for Ms. Ella to make her entrance and verbalize her important announcement.

I’m a patient person, but I do believe I had things to get done that day. My knee was going up and down, a habit I’ve always had. Annalise was playing the invisible drum to a beat I recognized but couldn’t remember. The room was as loud as an uncontrolled high school cafeteria.

“Why do you think we’re here?” Annalise had asked me.

Her voice was not questioning or curious, it sounded more like a rhetorical question. As if she merely wanted to know what I thought. I noticed how her drumming pace slowed to a stop and she placed her hands on her lap. She was smiling. She was always smiling. I don’t know if she even realized it. This smile was different though; it was the kind of smile that grew on her face whenever I agreed to do her homework. Something must have been going through her mind.

“I don’t know, maybe her boyfriend finally proposed,” I replied.

Sarcasm laced my words. Ms. Ella loved to brag about her relationship and she was definitely the type of person to make a big announcement about it. Annalise and I often made fun of her for it. I used to feel bad for her. Love was just an illusion after all.

I looked over to see Annalise trying not to laugh, “How do you say things like that with a straight face?”

I shrugged, “Dunno,” mostly because it was an honest guess.

Annalise and I were very alike and very different. She said we were meant to be friends but I didn’t believe in destiny; not anymore. She insisted it was fated. When I first arrived as Elric we bumped into each other in the hallways and we’ve been together since.

The line of kids being let into the auditorium shortened to an end. Ms. Ella walked up to the stage. I don’t remember where she had been before that, but her steps were quick like she was in a hurry. She ascended the stairs of the stage and stood at the very center waiting for everyone to be quiet. Or at least, I assumed so.

The auditorium was a large room. There were many rows of chairs separated into columns of five. There was a walkway after every fifth column. The chairs were all a weird beige color. The whole auditorium was full. The stage was large and had a dark gray backdrop; Ms. Ella stood out in her pink jumpsuit.

“Hello kids,” Ms. Ella greeted stiffly.

I didn’t have to be close to her to see the fright in her eyes. It was out of character. Her eyes darted around like she was expecting to be attacked. I would be too if I had to stand in front of so many delinquents. That’s what we were after all.

She and I were very different though. Ms. Ella was never scared of us. If anything, she thought of herself as our mother figure. I’d say she was good at her job. Always ensuring we were okay in some way or another. Which brought about a very good question. What was she scared of?

Ms. Ella proceeded, “Today four of you will be chosen to go on a vacation. There is a very lonely rich man who is unsure about adopting,” she paused, “he doesn’t want to adopt from the system, so we will choose four of you to keep him company for a while.”

She sounded so unnatural. Like it was a line from a play she had rehearsed over and over. Only she was a terrible actress. I wasn’t sure if I was the only one who noticed how she trembled. It worried me. Maybe after three years, I had grown to care for her like she had with me.

“Without further ado,” she continued after a long pause, “the four chosen are,” another long pause, “Elijah Carter,” pause, “Hope Carson,” pause, “Daniel Evans,” pause, “And Annalise Kade.”

My mind blanked out before bursting into questions and doubts. Had I heard wrong? Had I imagined my name on that list? I glanced at Annalise only to be met with a broad smile. I was debating whether or not to walk up. I wondered if I’d get away with pretending I hadn’t heard her.

Why four delinquents? Why not get normal teenagers? Is it teenagers because he can’t take care of little kids? Why four? I had been in the foster system, with enough bad luck, to know it always sounded better than it was.

I looked forward and locked eyes with Ms. Ella. She was glaring at me. She was always glaring at me and I was usually glaring at her too. She was daring me to stay in place. I slowly stood and walked to the aisle left of where I was sitting; Annalise followed. I started walking toward the stage. Two familiar-looking guys were walking in a different aisle. I recognized them both.

Elijah Carter was the school’s star. He had decent grades and always got what he wanted. Very cliche. He allegedly had the greatest personality. He was an important player on the school’s basketball team. As for the way he looked: he had dark brown slightly wavy hair, bright green eyes, around five feet and nine inches tall. Elijah was overall good-looking. Think dashing smile and swoon-worthy features.

Daniel Evans was the opposite. He didn’t fail education-wise, but everyone knew his grades weren’t the best. However, it didn’t matter because he was the best basketball player on the school’s team; and he knew it. Another cliche. His hair was raven black and slightly curly. His eyes were bluer than the sea. He was no shorter than six feet. Think sharp features. The high school girl in me would say absolutely attractive.

Daniel and Elijah got to the closest stairs before we did and walked up on stage. Annalise and I followed closely behind. As soon as we were all up Ms. Ella congratulated us and started to address other school matters. Meanwhile, we were standing there like trophies.

I half-turned my head to get a better look at the guys. Elijah was already looking my way. He caught me looking at him and smiled. His eyes as mine and yet, contrary to mine, his were filled with life. He tilted his head and continued to smile; he looked confused. Still, my expression, as I’m sure, was unchanged.

I took a glance at Daniel who was blankly staring at Ms. Ella. I glanced beside me at Annalise who was staring at the floor. I looked around at our audience of orphaned delinquents. My mind was drowning in questions and was empty at the same time. I didn’t know what to think or do.

About ten minutes passed before Ms. Ella dismissed everyone. We watched as everyone made their way to the exit before walking closer to her. Our steps echoed in the newly empty room.

Ms. Ella’s tone sounded as caring as always, “Start packing ’cause you’re going on a trip. You’ll be spending a lot of time together so I suggest you take the rest of the day to get to know a little about each other,” She stared at each of us independently and then sighed, “Good luck and behave.”

Her last statement was a soft reminder that we were here as punishment. All four of us had done something to get ourselves sent here. If we did anything too far out of line then we would be sent to a military school. Wonderful isn’t it?

Despite her kind tone, she still sounded tense and insincere. Her words were the epitome of rehearsed. Yet still a poorly executed performance. I wanted so badly to know what was truly going on.

We ended up at the library. Daniel and Elijah didn’t want to go to the library and they were obvious about it but I made the suggestion and Annalise insisted. As soon as we walked in they both made a beeline to the lounge area. There were two long couches facing each other and a wooden coffee table in the middle. Underneath it all, was a light blue carpet.

Annalise and I started to look around the moment we entered through the library door. Or, actually, I looked around while Annalise followed me.

“They’re so hot,” Annalise whispered so only I could hear.

I looked over to where the boys were sitting as I pretended to contemplate what she said. Interestingly enough, Elijah’s eyes caught mine. He kept eye contact with me as he said something to Daniel; I was too far away to have heard what he said. In response, Daniel glanced in our direction. He rolled his eyes and paid us no further attention.

“Hot is a terrible word,” I chose to respond.

We eventually made our way to where the boys were. We sat down on the couch across from the one they were on. Annalise plopped herself down right across from Daniel. The fact that she looked relaxed made no sense to me. She was accepting the situation too quickly. Liked she had nothing to worry about. I slowly sat next to her and began reading a random book I found. It was mostly an attempt to distract myself.

Daniel sighed rather dramatically as he laid his head back. I saw Annalise roll her eyes from the corner of my eyes. Yet she too sighed and laid her head back with her eyes closed. I’m not sure if she was mocking him or not. I only took a glance at him before shifting my attention back to my book.

“Do you guys want to play a game?” Daniel said after a while.

Seeing as they were two basketball players, who did nothing else, I assumed that’s what he wanted to play. Assuming so, it would mean he was only going to suggest basketball because Annalise and I wouldn’t know how to properly play.

Which is why I answered, “If we play basketball you two will have an unfair advantage.”

Though I wasn’t looking, I felt the glare Daniel had given me as he said, “When did I say basketball.”

I looked up from my book to give him a look I’m sure resembled judgment. Obviously, I’d used common sense and his defensive tone had only confirmed the guess.

I didn’t shy away from Daniel’s gaze as his eyes stayed locked on mine. He was visibly irritated and I didn’t doubt that’s what he looked like most of the time. I gave a small smile that was not at all genuine before looking back down at my book. I was genuinely uninterested in the book and was no longer reading it but I didn’t want him to think I was interested in him either.

The atmosphere must have become awkward because Elijah asked, “It’s Hope and Annalise, right?”

It was more of a statement than a question so I didn’t answer; and neither did Annalise. I did, however, fight the urge to roll my eyes. Even if it was a rhetorical question, it was stupid that the answer was more obvious than my lack of interest.

“We’re Elijah and Daniel,” Elijah continued.

He must have been desperate for conversation. I noticed Annalise was only watching what was happening. I wondered why. Usually, she was the one who made conversation.

“We know,” I answered for Elijah’s benefit and, though I did not intend it, boredom laced my words.

After many seconds Annalise said, “Alright, fine. What game do you wish to play?”

I smiled at Annalise’s annoyance. Though really thinking about it, her annoyance had been sudden. Only seconds before, she had been calmly observing.

“Let’s play twenty questions,” Elijah suggested.

Annalise’s reply came quickly after, “Sounds good.”

I closed the book in my hands and sat up. If Annalise agreed then what was the point in disagreeing? Annalise fixed her posture as the game began.

We took turns asking simple questions. None of them were directed at any one specific. All of them were useless and stupid. Most of which, were ‘would you rather’ questions that were as complex as walking. Daniel didn’t like people and Elijah did. These two facts are the only thing I managed to learn of them.

We weren’t in any way friends but we spent the rest of the day together. The majority of the time was spent in silence. Despite all that time, though, we were still strangers.

By the time we all decided to head back to our rooms, it was around nine. Annalise and I instantly got to packing. We had one suitcase each and were told not to pack anything that wouldn’t fit inside.

Annalise packed clothes, extra clothes, shoes, beauty products, and other equally important stuff. I, on the other hand, focused on packing the essentials. And by essentials I mean I threw random clothes in my suitcase and hoped for the best. If I was missing something I knew Annalise would have it.

I don’t remember going to sleep that night. I only remember struggling to shove my thoughts away. I had thought about so many things that night and yet I remember none of it.

What I do know is that I woke up because of a loud bang on our door. It had startled me to the point of completely sitting up. Annalise only woke up after a second bang and even then she was only half awake.

I ignored the migraine that had found me and got up from my uncomfortable bed. I attempted to make myself look presentable but the pain made it an impossible task. Annalise eventually threw clothes at me and I quickly put them on.

I don’t know what time it was when Annalise pulled me out of the room. We made our way through the hallways of Elric one last time before reaching the front entrance and walking out. I walked out thinking I would one day come back.

I instantly noticed the limousine. It definitely stood out. The limousine was fancier than anything I’d seen before; in person that is. Mrs. Ella ushered us in and wasted no time in goodbyes.

In the corner of the limousine, there was a television I pretended not to see. The screen was black with a single sentence in the middle written in white. The message read Welcome to the beginning. I hadn’t thought anything of it though I wish I had.