The Reason Is You

The Reason Is You

By ria_chan

Chapter 1

Traumas/Meeting/Intentions

Alexia

That day.. My life was ruined. I never understood my fault, what I had done, why did I go through that? What was the reason? I remember it all so well. The pain, the feeling, the cries, the screams.. They still haunt me. I'll never forget.

Three years ago. I disappeared. No one knew where I went. Not even me. All I remember is getting tortured, harassed, toyed with. That long year felt like decades. I felt dirty, disgusted and weak. I told nobody about what happened to me. I hid those disgusting scars that were left on my body. I hoped no one saw them. I didn't want to answer their questions. But it doesn't matter now. I just have to focus on escaping this tormenting nightmare that never leaves me alone.

23rd October 2023.

The date that has been marked on my Calendar for over 6 months now. Why? I'm meeting him. I didn't know when and how he became such an important part of my life. All i know is that I'm so fucking attached i can't even think of spending my life without talking to him. But I always felt some type of emptiness. I knew nothing about him. I only knew his full name, his older sister that surprisingly is my best friend, his company's name, the work he does and some secrets he told me once in a while. But he also stopped doing that. I realised we were drifting apart but I never thought that when I move to New York I'll live with him. Well it was almost forced.

-

He knew I was going through alot. Financially, physically and mentally. I didn't know he cared. But I really did need someone by my side so guess what. I accepted. The affection I longed for. I wanted to receive it from no one but him. And I'm pretty sure he will take care of me.

Meeting him for the first time made me nervous, excited, and happy. So many feelings. I was almost overwhelmed by the feeling of meeting him and what he'll think about me. But let's take a deep breath.

I walked into the cafe and looked around for his familiar face. Will he notice me? My gaze travelled to the back, where I guessed he might be sitting. Found him…. He was sitting there patiently waiting for me. Damn.. I can't deny he's handsome. Really handsome. He's the type of guy that's good at everything. Cooking, working, dressing, painting, singing and if i could guess he might even be good in bed. That's a guess because he's always surrounded by girls and was rumoured to be a fuckboy in college. Which he did confirm. So he's even good in bed. Which I don't know why, doesn't surprise me a single bit. He looks… experienced.

I took a good stare at him before taking a deep breath and walked towards him. The fact that made me happy was that as soon as he felt my gaze and saw me walking towards him, he recognized me right away. That.. Made me feel fucking special. He stood up, damn he looks good even in casual clothes. That jet gray sweater shirt with rolled up sleeves and those black pants made him look even MORE fucking hot. Damn am I simping over him?

Yes you are. My consciousness is telling me to stop. I guess I'll listen for now.

I bit the inside of my mouth. Damn why was I so nervous? His soft black asian hair that i always wanted to touch and that smirk he did when he noticed i was checking him out. Knowing him he must have felt proud. I NEED TO FUCKING CALM DOWN.

Now he was standing right in front of me. Now what? I gave a nervous smile. Why did I do that…. He looked down at me. Taking a good stare. And now he's teasing me. I knew he'd do that. Good thing I'm confident with my looks. He looked at me up and down, noticing my navy blue sweater under which I wore a white collar shirt. Then my legs, a white flowy skirt that reached just above my knees and black leggings that covered the rest of my legs. And then looked at my face again. I parted my bangs today, my hair in a half up half down braid and black ribbon that tied my braid. I LOVED ribbons. They had to be on everything.

I gulped, noticing how much he was staring if he continued this for even for a minute my heart would pop out of my chest. And I'll die. What a death to have…

What should I say? Heck no. I'm not saying a word. He better start a conversation before this gets awkward.

He hummed. "You look… cute."

Eh? Ehh? Ehhhhhhhhhh? Cute? Hell no. My cheeks are starting to blush. Before I could say anything he took my hand and sat me on the chair before sitting in front of me. Is this a new way to flirt? Or am I just being delusional? Obviously he just thinks of me like a cute little sister. Yeah that's why. Definitely why he called me cute.

"Aren't you going to say anything? Are you that nervous?" He chuckled softly. I looked at him. He was teasing me again. "I'm not." I mumbled.

"Oh. Then why are you shaking your leg like that?" He looked at me, definitely not buying my words. I instantly stopped doing that. I didn't even notice so why did he?

"No need to be nervous. I'm not going to eat you or anything. Just relax lexi."

Oh my dirty mind. His voice is even better in real life. I mean I've heard it on calls and voice messages but in real life.. It's way more deep. And his hands are even better, his fingers are long and bigger than mine. I need to stop. I need to be stopped. Fucking hormones, they always react to the wrong person.

After five minutes, thank god I've calmed down now. We had a small chat before ordering. This cafè was pretty famous around here. I can't believe I'm simping over Jude. I mean it's understandable but still, It's so freaking wrong.

I was eating my burger. When he asked.

"Lexi."

"Yes?" I looked towards him, my burger still in my hand. I was hungry from all that walking. "I mean.. I wanted to ask for a while.." He looked serious. I put my burger down on the plate. This is going to be really serious. I just know it. I can feel it.

"Do they know? I mean.. Your parents. Do they know you're here to study in New York and you'll live with me?" I knew he was going to ask that sooner or later.

"They do."

"I know they don't. When do you plan on telling them?" Obviously he knew that I was lying.

"I'll tell them… soon enough"

"They're still your parents lexi, they must be worried-"

"No they're not."

I saw his face turn into a slight frown when I cut his sentence off. He sighed and decided not to carry this conversation further.

"Whatever you say." He mumbled before eating his food as well. He was right. I should. But I don't want to.

We both identify ourselves as extremely obsessed weebs. One reason for that is that we grew up watching anime. His dad is Japanese, my mom is Japanese. So when our conversation gets a little serious or boring. We just started talking about mangas, manhwas, anime, and series. Our interests were the same but our personalities were completely different. Recently I have been traumatised by jujitsu kaisen. I mean I'm sure everyone has been traumatised. How could gege, the author kill gojo. I mean im sure every fucking weeb loves him.

But Jude is a sakuna fan. Different fandoms hmph. We had a long, very long conversation about anime. I told him about the manhwas I've been obsessed with. He was such a good listener.

We finished eating. He had told me we were going to the arcade later. I loved arcades. Not that I'm good at it. I still like arcades.

"Should we go? Or do you want to talk more?" He asked me. Such a soft voice I could melt. "No no. Let's go." I looked for my purse and phone, placing them in my lap. "What? You don't want to talk to me anymore?" He raised his brows playfully.

Obviously I want to. I will talk to you until you get tired.

"No. I mean it is getting late you know.. So we should-" why am i trying to explain but whatever.

"Ok. Let's go then." He stood up, walking towards me and offering me a hand. What a gentleman. I took his hand and stood up while he walked to the counter to pay the bill. Then he took me outside to his car. As we walked to his car my eyes widened a little. I mean I knew he was rich but a BMW. Really? So he's handsome, rich, tall, experienced and has a nice car? Wow. He's a full package. His wife will be so lucky.

Definitely.

Later we went to the arcade. We played bowling, snipping, and vending machines and I only won at bowling… not my fault he was that good. But after that, as promised, we went to his apartment. My luggage was already there. Damn i was nervous, moving in with a grown mature guy and that guy being Jude. Fuck.. I was starting to regret this. I was going to regret this.

Fast forward to when we arrived at his apartment. He was so calm.. Why is he calm when I'm so nervous? He didn't look bothered at all. This building was near my university, one of the reasons I moved in. But when he took me inside my mouth almost dropped. I walked into a huge living room, on the right there was a huge kitchen and there were I think 4 other rooms.

"Hmm.. This right one is mine and the one beside is yours." He said as we walked in the living room.

"Oh and that one is my office," he pointed at the room that was in front of his room. "And this is the guest room."

I nodded. It was minimalistic but it looked perfect. The grey and off white interior with minimalistic walk arts. It looked perfect. Better than any apartment I could afford.

"And I already placed your luggage in your room for you." He smiled slightly.

So sweet.

"Thanks" I couldn't help but smile. This is the sweetest someone has been to me except my siblings and my best friend. Oh I forgot. Jude's elder sister Ava, she's my best friend. When I told her about this, she was relieved that i wasn't going to live alone.

"Now I'll go unpack okay?"

"Yup. Go on. I'll give you the key and the code later." He said, his hands in his pockets. I nodded before going inside my room.

My jaw dropped. It was huge. It had a window, a big bed and it even had a closet. And obviously a bathroom. The interior was all off white. Such a pretty house he has. My language was placed beside my bed. Before unpacking I took off my sweater. Damn it was hot wearing it all day long. I opened the suitcase. So many clothes i had to arrange.

I spent 2 hours arranging my clothes, shoes, undergarments, makeup and skincare obviously. No way can I live without makeup and skincare. They're my expensive little babies.

I took a warm shower. Even the bathroom was beautiful. It was an all glass interior. Such an expensive interior. I wore my comfortable nighties that were a set of white shorts with cute little red cherries on them and a white camisole that had white lace on the rim and also had those same cherries. I'm a sucker for cute undergarments.

I looked in the mirror noticing the scars on my arms. Damn… they never disappear do they. I doubt someone would ever date me after knowing I have these disgusting scars on my back, my thighs and even my arms.

I got these when I was kidnapped 3 years ago. Those… assholes. They did so much. And had so much fun tormenting me. I didn't even know them. But I remember their disgusting and ugly faces clearly. They gave me these scars. Cut scars on my arms.. Whip scars on my back… bruises on my knees and thighs. They were psychos.

I take a deep breath before wearing a white t-shirt on top. Even if I'm in my room.. I still am not comfortable with showing my arms and my back. It's better to just cover them.

I laid on the bed. I took my phone and scrolled through Instagram and didn't even realise that i fell asleep.

Again I'll have that night mare. I don't want to sleep. It always felt so real. I hate it but I just can't escape it.

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