Chapter 1
Engulfed by the unexpected, lonely university life, I stood alone in the corner of the student “break room”, desiring for someone to just walk up to me and befriend me. It had been around one week since I started university and I had made a few friends but that didn’t stop the loneliness from creeping in. One evening, tired of the recurring pattern of just watching movies and sleeping, I decided to step out for a bit and see if I could make some friends. This was highly unlikely as I am not one to walk up to someone and start a conversation, heck it is even difficult for me to keep up a conversation. Entering the student break room, I could feel the eyes of students around me. In my heart, I believed they thought to themselves who this girl is entering a student break room with no friends. But I've been told many times that "no one is watching you", "no one cares about what you're doing". Tried putting on a brave face whilst listening to some music on my airpods proved difficult and I ended up in the corner by an equally lonely tennis’s table.Deep in my heart, I was just wishing for someone to ask me to join them play games. However, my dreams were crushed when I realised no one was even giving me the time of day. Maybe because I was the only black person surrounded by Indians, Caucasians and other races apart from mine. Maybe because I don’t look fun or maybe because I seem to them to be out of their league. Allow me to be delusional. It is the only way I can get through this.
After what seemed like an eternity of loneliness, even though it was just 5 minutes, I decided to call a few of my friends. I explained to them my current crises, to which one of them replied I should just walk up to them and make a conversation. Well, I hadn’t thought about that, friend. Sarcasm is another way I can get through this. After one of my friends convinced me to leave if I wasn’t going to walk up to anyone, I kindly took my leave. Got back to my room and the same recurring routine I thought I would finally get rid of. Few days pass and I decide to just go to the multi-purpose courts and just play some sports. God being so good, I met and played football and volleyball with a few people. It was the most fun I have had in a while, I know that’s sad. I knew after this, I would never see these people again so I made sure to enjoy it as much as I could. But I have been seeing the same group of boys everywhere on the campus since then. Maybe it is a sign or maybe the world is just a small place. After playing sports, I went for a movie night and I saw them. A few days later, I went to watch a soccer game, which by the way we lost, saw them again. Some days passed, attended a meet and greet and guess what, saw them again. Are they cute, you may ask me, well they're okay I guess. Everyone is entitled to the opinions and beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder and their beauty doesn't really lie in my eye but I still just wanted to be friends with them. Till this day, nothing has happened, I'm still not friends with them but did I keep meeting them, yes I did.
Anyways, bringing you back to that meet and greet I just mentioned. I met a girl there who is in one of my courses and so we just spent the whole time together, laughing and singing the songs we knew. When it was time for the dancing, that's when the night took a wrong turn. First of all, the songs were not the best options and so everyone was not enjoying it, till a few of us told one of the hostess certain songs to play. Just as we were about to leave, we heard one of our requested songs and hurriedly dropped our bags and joined the crowd. Finally enjoying ourselves, cause they were just playing back to back bangers. Then they started doing dance circles, tell me why the friend I made kept pushing me out of the circle, and I felt so embarrassed cause they're all in a circle and then there's me outside of the circle just singing to myself. Well, nothing could have been done about that so I just kept enjoying myself till it was time to leave. A girl then asked for my snapchat username and we talked a bit and then we left. Few days later, I met this same girl who took my username and locked eyes with her, however she then proceeded to drop her head and act like she doesn't know me. Well I guess it is true what they say about friends made in university.
