Faded Serenity

I could hear the rain pouring down like cats and dogs. My dad and I were listening to the radio, where it was said that the weather was bound to get worse. But today was a very special day, and neither of us took it as intensely as any other person would.

“How are you doing back there, love?” my dad asked while continuing the drive home.

“I’m fine, Dad. I’m not going to disappear. So you really don’t have to keep asking that every few minutes.” I teased.

“I am going to...because you are my little girl. It’s kind of my job.”

I just laughed at his comment before I felt the car stop, probably because of the street lights. Then, all of a sudden, the startling sound of thunder roared across the sky as I quickly pushed forward and clung to my dad’s shoulder.

“D...Dad, are we closer to our house yet?” I asked while shaking profusely.

“Only a few blocks away.” He reassured me while patting my hand. As soon as the light changed, Dad started the engine when...

CRASH!!

…

...

Glasses shattered, piercing through my skin.

…

Ringing echoed through my ears like a banshee in a cave of horrors.

…

The car was tumbling over and over as glass, metal, and everything else shadowed through, leaving impact bruises on my arms and legs. I could faintly hear my dad groan in pain. And when the car finally stopped moving, I was left in utter silence. I couldn’t hear anything else but the rapid beats of my heart, followed by the pain from my wounds.

It almost felt like being in a black hole.

That was until I felt a rough hand gently holding on to mine for dear life, and I knew by touch to whom it belonged. With the last amount of energy and the last breath I felt left, I cried out to the only person I wanted to hear from, “Dad?”

Only seconds before I drifted to an unconscious state with the same thought as a final word. ‘Dad!’

…

…

(Present)

I was immediately woken by something wet on my cheek, followed by several barks. I groaned lazily, as I still felt extremely tired. “Cooper!!” I cried while opening my eyes to see my dog on my bed staring at me. “You really love being my alarm clock…hmm?”

It was either a question or a statement.

…or maybe both.

Yet he kept on wagging his tail and kissing my face nonstop till I eventually sighed in defeat.

“Ok, Ok… I’m up! I’m up.” I said as I stretched my arms and sat at the edge of the bed while Cooper, my 4-year-old dog, pounced on the floor, still wagging his bushy tail. On my third attempt, I finally got up from bed as Cooper casually left for the kitchen with a sense of accomplishment.

’Hmm....I wonder'

Well, technically, I’m not a morning person, so it’s an obvious expression for anyone who would successfully wake me up.

After brushing my teeth and taking a quick shower, I went to the kitchen, where the smell of freshly whipped pancakes was heavenly. I quickly took my seat at the table but stopped midway when I noticed another plate of food besides mine. Taking the hint, I waited patiently while glancing over at Cooper, who was greedily eating his food.

‘At least one of us was enjoying their food.’

After fifteen minutes of torture, I heard a door open and saw a tall figure walking in. He casually sat down at the table and started eating with his eyes glued to his phone. I didn’t bother uttering a word and began eating my breakfast.

The silent atmosphere wasn’t foreign in our household, because besides our cook, it was just me and my uncle Oscar. He had always been a busy businessman who refused to let his personal life get intertwined with his professional life since the moment I met him.

We’ve only ever talked a few sentences in a day, or none at all.

“Are you going to work today?” He asked, interrupting my thoughts.

“In the afternoon.” I replied after drinking some water. “I got the afternoon shift.”

He simply nodded and continued his discussion on his phone. In less than five minutes, Uncle Oscar got up from his seat, grabbed his coat, and walked outside without saying another word.

I sighed in defeat as I finished eating. Sensing something heavy on my leg, I looked down to see Cooper looking at me with curious eyes. “You always seem to know, don’t you, Cooper?” I whispered while gently rubbing his head, much to his delight. I chuckled at this dog’s cheerful persona as I left my seat to wash the dishes.

(About an hour later)

The weather was calm, much like any other day. Yet it felt as if nature allowed us to see the world and make a difference. However, at a cemetery, even the lightest breeze would send chills down one’s spine, almost like an eerie feeling of being unwelcome.

Like me… but the feeling wasn’t mutual.

I felt at home, yet I feel alone.

Kneeling between two gravestones, one far older than the other, I couldn’t help but touch each letter of their names engraved forever on stone.

In the loving memory of

Katherine Sofia Brooks

‘Hi, mom!’

I slowly turned my gaze to the other as I felt my emotions soften even more.

‘Hi, dad!’

In the loving memory of

George Imanuel Brooks

Days turn into months, months turn into years, and still, I always come by to ‘pay my respects’ as one would say. But honestly, I come out here with mixed feelings.

I had so much to say, yet so little came out in words.

“I really wish I met you, Mom!” I whispered. “Dad always used to say that I reminded him of you. And I think I told you one too many times how he named me after you, Sofie Estella Brooks. But I still prefer yours over mine.” I mumbled with a ghost of a smile tugging on my lips.

“And Dad, I’m doing okay. Right now, I am working at a local bakery and loving every minute of it as much as I can. It’s not the same, and I still need some getting used to, but I try my best. So umm….” I cleared my throat, feeling my words stuck in every breath I took.

As I took a deep breath, I finally uttered to myself. “I guess... Happy Birthday to me!”

After placing some flowers on my parents’ gravestones, I left the cemetery with the usual feeling of leaving myself behind those iron gates of death.

The morning routine of this specific day has been like a tradition for the last six years. This included visiting my parents, grabbing some coffee at a nearby café, and having a lot of time alone before I had to go to work. And so, as planned, I went to a café overlooking the busy street and ordered my usual.

I didn’t even have to say anything beforehand, as the lady behind the counter already knew my order. She gave me her usual smile just before I grabbed my coffee and walked towards the exit.

I didn’t want to come off as rude, but despite knowing how chirpy she usually was, she understood me in a way that made her realize how I felt on this particular day.

Heavy sighs continued time after time as I walked in an aimless direction, constantly changing my place of stay. While sipping my coffee, I glanced at my phone to notice a new message popped up on the screen. I opened it, only to realize it was from one of the few people who remembered my birthday. Although I was grateful, I can never shake off the bad memories this day brings and decided to ignore them for a while, but not before texting a quick thank you.

‘Like always’

To tell the truth, when one has experienced pain and longing for such a long time, it is almost natural to believe that even if a burned mark heals, that experience alone can scar one’s mind forever in their lifetime.

‘Just like a scar... that is far, far too deep.’

I suddenly felt a small droplet of cold on my hand. My gaze came into contact with a single tear resting on my palm. I chuckled deeply, failing to understand if it was merely out of humor or confusion. Almost absentmindedly, I brushed it off, took a hold of my coffee, and walked away to work.

‘Which happens to be the one thing that I look forward to...’