Explanation
Sex has been a topic of many conversations, studies and texts over the years. Some have been controversial and others have been taboo. For centuries, sex that was in any way deviant from what was considered “normal,” branded you as disgusting, degenerate or downright sick. Some people were even arrested or thrown out of society for being caught doing “not allowed” things.
As a result, most sexual practices that aren’t deemed “normal” were hidden away and in lots of cases were suppressed by the people who longed for them. This often led to mental health issues and illness. Some unfortunately turned to crime to alleviate their urges. Sex in general was often taboo in some communities and considered only necessary to produce heirs. It was a sin if you enjoyed it. Especially if you were a female who enjoyed sex and tried to initiate it. You were labelled as a slut or a whore, often by your own husband.
Only within the last hundred years or so have people begun to discuss this topic at length. Although it has been around for centuries, it has only recently started to be accepted by society and the law. The sixties brought it out in the open with their free love ideals. This opened the door for many people to express their true desires and fantasies.
We are going to delve into the world of fantasy, sexual preferences and BDSM in this book.
B = Bondage
D = Domination
S = Sadism
M = Masochism
BDSM became a broad-based term to describe any deviant behaviour and is often misunderstood. I hope to show that not all parts of this need to be practised. Also, not all parts of BDSM are disgusting, shameful or degrading. It is all about consent. It can also make sex more pleasurable, more intense and so much more satisfying.
When you feel free to be who you are and to enjoy doing the things that you like to do, you can have the most intense experience of your life.
Taking reference from Wikipedia, "BDSM actions can often take place during a specific period of time agreed to by both parties, referred to as “play”, a “scene”, or a “session”. Participants usually derive pleasure from this, even though many of the practices—such as inflicting pain or humiliation or being restrained—would be unpleasant under other circumstances. Explicit sexual activity, such as sexual penetration, may occur within a session but is not essential.
The fundamental principles for the exercise of BDSM require that it be performed with the informed consent of all parties. Since the 1980s, many practitioners and organisations have adopted the motto (originally from the statement of purpose of GMSMA—a gay SM activist organisation) safe, sane and consensual(SSC), which means that everything is based on safe activities, that all participants are of sufficiently sound mind to consent, and that all participants do consent. Mutual consent makes a clear legal and ethical distinction between BDSM and such crimes as sexual assault and domestic violence."
"BDSM play is usually structured such that it is possible for the consenting partner to withdraw their consent at any point during a scene; for example, by using a safeword that was agreed on in advance. Use of the agreed safeword (or occasionally a “safe symbol” such as dropping a ball or ringing a bell, especially when speech is restricted) is seen by some as an explicit withdrawal of consent. Failure to honor a safeword is considered serious misconduct and could constitute a crime, depending on the relevant law, since the bottom or top has explicitly revoked their consent to any actions that follow the use of the safeword. For other scenes, particularly in established relationships, a safeword may be agreed to signify a warning (“this is getting too intense”) rather than explicit withdrawal of consent; and a few choose not to use a safeword at all."
So as you can see from the excerpts above, the BDSM world is very controlled and is based purely on the consent of all parties involved. If there is not mutual consent, the activity will not happen. If it does still take place against the will of one of the parties it then becomes a crime of sexual assault.
So yes, some of the practices done could be considered by some as assault and abuse as well as sexual assault, however, they are performed in a controlled environment where both (or more) parties are safe and secure, where a safeword or action will immediately stop everything.
Think of it this way. If your partner lifts your legs and rests them against his chest while fucking you hard and fast, wrapping his arms around your legs for leverage and to keep them in that position, then he is restraining a part of you. If he puts a hand over your mouth or pushes your mouth against his shoulder or chest, to stop you from screaming too loudly, he is gagging you.
Just because someone may use an actual gag or rope or cuffs, doesn't mean it's not the same thing. The difference is in your mind and you are taught to believe that it is wrong.
I hope to prove to you that it's not wrong.
My hope is that when you finish reading this, you will have the understanding that it can be beautiful, fulfilling and wonderful to finally let go, be free and be who you really are.
Let's go......
