Love Hunts You

"I feel bad giving this story a 3 star because I think it would be a lot better if it were in your native language (since I'm fairly confident that it was translated based on how it sounds). A lot gets lost in translation, I think, which makes it hard for me to judge things like style and technical writing since I can't really fault you for it and don't know how it would've sounded pre-translation or with a better translation. I will say for the plot, I think it's okay. The teaser doesn't do much to help since after I read it I was left wondering "So what's this story about?" And I think to a certain extent, it is having an identity crisis. Is it a coming of age? A mystery? A romance? A thriller? Drama? It seems like you're trying to incorporate tooo many plot points and genres into one book that you end up not doing any of them justice. I would focus on a primary genre and one or two subgenres and stick to that. Simpler is almost always better when it comes to plots. The way I like to write, is I'll have one overarching plot that spans the whole story, and about 3-4 subplots that happen during the course of that overarching arch. So, in that way, I think you should really parse out what you want this story to be, and stick with that. Do one or two plot points really well, and you'll have a great book. Overall, I'm sorry I couldn't give too much feedback on the other aspects, but it just wouldn't seem fair. And I think your creativity is there and you have a great imagination, but knowing when to reel it in and edit yourself is key in all art, not just writing. Hope this helps and good luck!"