If only

Chapter 1

James wake up it is time, time for you to walk like a corpse through this dark day. If only you could deal with your incompetence, can you feel the cold. This life is dim James like grey it is out done from the specter, it is alone used to down the others in an effortless stroke. Don’t try to correct yourself James, don’t feel love hate is what you must, hate is what you must feel. If only the life you lead could change anything, then could you change what life changes. James stop this thinking you wouldn’t understand what you think, you only know what a fool should know. Think if we fear petty dangers such as robbers, and murders, will we ever fear ourselves? Don’t think fear for fear is our essence it brings the hope of life to our understanding. Murders are brought to justice and punished, unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets. The crusade brought meaning to humans we are worthless things only to be used by others. Lies, we are fed lies. What lies are there to lie about? James you understand the lesson we were taught but you don’t understand the knowledge, halt in your step wait or end it all. Forget this world with its flaws or its dreaded ideas. Let go James, if only you could’ve done something worthy of praise if only….if only….if only. I am by your side until the end.

James why do you sit here looking at a world that will die, why do you sit and wonder, imagine you must doubt. What you see is an illusion, don’t look: part your eyes from the image of the deceiver. James what lies you told the one who sees into the mind. You were loved with care and praise from all and your mother. What fortitude to lie, to deceive the one who trusts, what a lie. If only they saw you for who you are, then they could hide from the hideous truth. Have you forgotten James what you seek, it is absolution, maybe even closure. You will not find it in this wooden box. You must be punished a lashing strikes men with fear, but near death puts terror into their hearts. You are a heretic, a witch they will chant but don’t dread, trial by water. Drown and you are a pure saint, live you must burn for your corruption. If only you could see and feel what I feel if only….if only….if only.

James you are blind old friend, the insane are treated differently than the sane. The sane can do the same things as the insane but with reason. We should attend the strangers on our shores than those already at home. We as people seek perfection we want perfection! What is perfection? We are all hideous creatures! Perfection is in our mind James it is all a lie. We are the worms in a field of feces and disgrace. If only we could achieve perfection, if only we knew what it was! If only….if only….if only.

Poor James so sad, so stupid. You have lost it! We love to love but fail to see its true meaning, poor James you are lost like a child looking for his mother. You blindly cling to humanity like that child clinging to its mothers breast. Poor poor James life has been dulled for you. You know nothing if only these words reached you sooner, could you have been saved? If only….if only….if only.

Here I stay silent forever passing the days the maggots shall become my chambermaids, arms take your last embrace, lips of azul release that silver breath forever shut sealed by a righteous kiss, forever stuck with this world weary flesh. Come that most unsavory guide. Mark my stay with a heavy stone. Here I shall stay never to shape the mold.

James take this gift of my love, let it keep you forever smiling. This release is only the start, I shall see you soon. We are together you and I. We are always one even if you die.

Chapter 2

James look over there! isn't she interesting? go talk to her you fool she will not notice you if she has no idea you exist. Why must you falter, does one not wish to make her yours. James stop wasting our time, time is not too kind to those who ponder about life. We need to make her ours, we must make her ours. Tell her she is the most spectacular thing in the world, make her feel like a rose among the many thorns. Her black hair, and her dark eyes speak many words to me. James we cannot lose this one she is the key to your needs.

Must I push you to such lengths to make you understand I shall not go away James, I am here to stay forever. Remember that time we faced rejection many times it was. I promise you that this will go to plan. Tonight James we must prepare we may have just made history.

James be sure to bring the toys they are so fun, don't you agree. We can do this James, we can love this woman until her last breath. James we must hurry this wait has made me hungry please sate my hunger. James we have our chance take it, we must we are alone with her. Do you hesitate, now is not the time we must do it! If you will not I will take the pleasure. Aww such screams she fills this room with. She must take what I give, or she wont last long. James you are missing out my old friend, she is wonderful.

Damn! I'm already done, this satisfy's me no more. James you may have your turn, remember don't let her stay for too long hahaha! Wow James! bravo you did wonderful. I tip you my hat, but now we must sleep through the night. We shall find nothing but sadness in our dreams, but it is nothing compared to hell. hehehe.

Chapter 3

James wake up! We need to roam the streets until we find the perfect girl again. You don't want to well, let me think about that. We are going out! that is it we don't need to talk about it, we are going. Now get ready and lets hunt. James you need to feel more alive, this life you want is just hollow. What i offer you is unlimited fun, and pleasure. Now James pick one today i'll let you choose. There are thousands of girls walking every corner. It cant be too hard James, any will do. Ahh she is nice James a nice choice indeed. James i see what you like and i like what i see. Now go get her tiger, also relax life is just beginning.

8:23 pm

Are we ready for tonight? We are wow you are warming up to me aren't you. Well the toys are ready and I'm dying to get started. James! she doesn't like toy number 2 should I try toy number 3? It doesn't matter well it does to me and personally I like it when she cant move makes it more fun. Well after this i'll let you do what you do best. This was a fun night, did you enjoy it James. No well I had fun maybe next time we should try for 2 girls. A challenge will up the game and be one hell of a time.