Our Night
I am a villainess...one who is unable to choose the flow of her life.
My actions, my words, and my choices are all controlled by the plot of the novel.
"MY LADY!! MY LADY! PLEASE! FORGIVE ME!!!!"
Even now.
The maid begged, on her knees, she lowered herself completely.
Her eyes had become red, she had been begging, yelling, and sobbing for a while now.
How I wish I could comfort her.
But this body does not obey me.
"AHHHKKKK!!"
I grabbed most of her hair in a fist, I almost tore it... She yelped and cried in my hands, but did not dare to protest.
"Keep your mouth closed, I don't like the noise you make."
Her lips closed in a tight line but her tears did not stop to flow, she trembled more and more.
"Get rid of it." I threw her and wiped my hands, there was no pity in my eyes, no sympathy.
"B-but my lady, this maid belongs t-t-"
"I DO NOT CARE WHO SHE BALONGS TO! GET RID OF HER NOW!!"
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.......I'm sorry...I don't want to be this way either.
They helped her walk, their shadows disappeared behind the walls of the glasshouse. And I knew I had ended the scene when I could finally feel tears leaving my eyes.
I don't want to hurt anyone...I don't want to.
My legs soon give out, I crumble to the ground, my body hugs itself for consolation. There was no one else to do that.
Why does someone like me have to take the role of villainess? Why me?
I...I would rather die than for someone else to die because of me.
So why was I chosen to do this cruel act..?..
I'm not Alina Masessarù. I AM NOT THE VILLAINESS...
...ah...who am I kidding..? I can't even remember my real name or face before dying and waking up in this nightmare.
I don't remember how long it's been...
but I remember being stabbed by my sister back in my world. Then, when I woke up, I was here.
It took me days to realize where I was.
I couldn't believe I was in a novel, and that I, out of all people, had the role of villainess.
Not much later I discovered my inability to make choices or changes to the plot or the character itself, Alina.
It would happen out of the blue, one moment I could say and do what I want, and the other, Alina of the novel was In control.
I wouldn't say there are two people in this body. But the body itself has to follow the plot.
But that happens in important parts of the story, otherwise, I can somewhat be 'me'.
But if I change too much, or do something radical to change the plot...
Every character will forget about it.
It was at the start. When I first arrived in this world...
I tried so hard to change the plot even after continuously hurting someone.
I would try to change everyone's opinion of Alina when I was allowed to be myself... but...they immediately forgot my efforts the next day.
At one point or another, I killed myself.
That is how I discovered I could reset everything to the first day again.
So every time I'm close to attempting to murder the heroine... I die in front of her and the others before the novel takes control of me.
But no matter what I do or how hard I work to escape the novel...it always finds a way to bring me back.
I'm scared.
Please..just...
Kill me.
"Lady Alina."
I had not realized....the presence of this man.
To see me in this pathetic state...
I wonder what he's thinking again.
"Ah...you. Why do you always appear Before me when I feel like the most pathetic woman you've laid eyes upon?"
I don't stop myself, he will forget it all the next day.
"You must find it amusing."
Tears fall, and I finally stand to look into his face. That was the first time I had dared to look into this man's eyes.
"Have you drunk too hastily on this evening's ball my lady?"
"If... I have.... can you help me?"
His eyes don't leave mine for a moment, and I think again....will he kill me?
"...How may I do so?"
Maybe I really am drunk.
Maybe I'm just in too much pain.
Or maybe I am desperate...
"Comfort me. Only this once... allow me to feel warmth for only this once..."
"Is that your wish?"
I nod, slowly. I make sure not to leave his eyes as his arms quickly wrap around me.
I didn't know he could feel this warm...
He unbuttons the back of my dress with skill. Eager. I let it fall. Then my body fell too as it was pushed by his.
His touch was gentle but rough, skilled, but relentless.
I had become too drunk by the ecstasy when I realized our clothes had almost completely come off. His chest was hard against mine.
His voice was the only thing keeping me in reality. Under the moon, his hair and eyes shone a brighter silver than ever.
My hand reached his cheek controlled by something I couldn't explain.
"This is the first time I am looking at you..."
He takes my hand in his, forcing me to blush more.
"Do not hold back."
He kisses the palm of my hand, then traces a line on my neck, then my collarbone, almost teasing me.
"-Ah."
He holds a stop to his actions. It gives me a moment to breath.
"Once it is done, we cannot turn back. Do you understand?"
I stare, almost surprised.
"Wasn't I the one to ask for this?"
I offer him a smile, he doesn't beat an eye before tearing the last piece of cloth remaining on my body.
His hands fall on all the right places as if we had done this countless times.
Finally, his lips found mine, that was enough. This comfort, I will never forget.
I wrap both my arms and legs around him. I couldn't let go of what I was feeling.
"Why do you cry again.."
He left a kiss on my tears, on the corner of my eyes as we became one.
And I thought at that moment...
"I as the villainess...and you as the villain...isn't this...just too cruel..?..."
I don't remember what happened after.
My eyes closed and my vision became blurry, but I certainly remember....the warmth I felt that night.
To be continued.
