Just a colleague…

Carolina

I cling to the metal bar, standing in the crowded R.E.R. (train suburban), heading towards “La Défense”.

The famous Parisian business district will become my daily life.

Besides, it is not in Paris itself, but in the “Grand Paris” as they say. In the northwest suburbs, in the “Hauts-de-Seine”.

I don't really like making this trip my new routine... But it's a small inconvenience compared to the opportunity that was offered to me.

I try not to collapse on the ground with each sudden brake and jolt of the transilien.

My black high-heeled pumps already hurt... even though it's only the beginning of a long day.

I feel warm in this small space, stuck to all these people...

My face is sweating and it ruins my makeup. It's only the beginning of June, but it's already very summery... if not tropical.

For the first day that I wanted perfect with an impeccable appearance, we will come back.

Come on, don't let yourself be discouraged by these little inconveniences even before having reached the famous square, which I was bound to tread one day in my turn.

…I am tall, I am important… I am Carolina Dupré, I am thirty years old, and I am going to conquer the world.

This is what I tell myself every day.

Hey, if you don't believe in yourself, who will?

In case you haven't figured it out yet, I'm on my way to my first day at this new job.

I hate the first few days at a new job, especially in a place I don't know.

Nervousness, stage fright… We want at all costs to make a good impression, so we are everything but ourselves.

Smile to the point of pain in your cheeks, say hello to absolutely everyone and introduce yourself by repeating this same sentence:

“Hello, I'm Carolina, the new communications manager.”

Knowing that people will automatically take me for a fool, or at best, barely glance at me in response.

This agency recruited me via headhunters.

When I got that almost unbelievable phone call, I had a hard time convincing myself to give up my old job. But money and status are always good arguments...

However, I was fine there. A good, caring team with a pleasant working atmosphere. We were productive and complementary, but... the offer of this company simply cannot be refused.

And if I had hesitated, my colleagues themselves would have kicked my ass out so that I would absolutely seize this chance.

We are made to climb the ladder, right?

The days of staying in the same position in the same company for your entire career are over.

Today, ambition pushes us to aim ever higher. I don't know if that's such a good thing...

But life is not always rosy, we like change, new horizons, and challenges.

In any case, in my previous experience, I am happy to have been able to break the image of the little blond executive who follows the boss like a little dog by noting all his brilliant ideas and his slightest desires.

The recruiters understood what was hidden under my appearance, but I intend to continue to hide my game at first here.

Finally, I am going to take advantage of this preconceived idea that sticks with me.

Everyone will see me as harmless in this school of sharks, I will sneak to the front of the pack and run my own department before they really realize it.

This is why I chose an outfit that was certainly elegant but quite discreet. A Prince of Wales pattern sheath skirt, a black satin blouse and a black blazer... which you carry on your arm because it's far too hot to put it on.

If it wasn't my first day, I would have come without it, with my sleeves rolled up.

But, first impressions require it, I must wear formal and distinguished attire.

The air conditioning will help me cope.

I tied my long blonde hair into a very simple low bun, applied light makeup and wore my glasses.

I could wear contact lenses, yes. But I prefer to keep the appearance of the banal and transparent little employee. I don't want to assert myself, at least not yet.

And being a light blonde with an attractive physique is not an asset for my plan. At the professional level, it rarely is, in fact. They think you're a brainless fool. A pretty little person that we found I don't know where, to refine the decor and amuse the gallery.

Either. I would be an insignificant vase, a piece of furniture.

I'll put down my little ideas here and there, then I'll discreetly take the lead while everyone else plays whoever speaks the loudest and is the most visible.

I'm joining the team today.

We will all have the same status, but I was made clear that if my reputation was verified, I would be given the head of the department.

The company's policy is to recruit internally, so they use this strategy to divert it.

Advertising is a formidable world. You have to have brilliant and innovative ideas every day. Above all, do not rest on what you have learned and constantly renew yourself.

You can make a splash one day, and be seen as a total failure the next.

When you open your mouth in a meeting, you have to be sure to hit the nail on the head. So don't speak too quickly, and study the subject carefully beforehand.

I intend to suggest small ideas here and there, others can use them while feeling like they are the originators. They will dance on my glory, ride my wave, in short, take all the laurels. It’s a foregone conclusion, I know this world. But it’s intentional, it’s part of the plan.

I'll do that for a while, then, one day, I'll choose a project that I really feel, a subject that will speak to me very clearly and on which I'll be sure of my expertise.

That day, I would make everyone agree.

When I am appointed, no one will object. It will just be… logical and indisputable.

Do you know the four color test?

Very important in the business world.

Know how to identify what color your interlocutor is, in order to understand their language and adapt to it.

Red for the dominant personality. The one who wants to impose her ideas or her authority. The one who can get angry easily, who wants things to go straight and without fuss.

Blue for the compliant personality, the one who respects the rules and who refines everything so as to never make a mistake. The one who is good at organization and needs everything to be tidy, class and clean to feel comfortable.

Yellow is the influential. The one who likes to make conversation and create a good atmosphere, the one who is altruistic and wants to be appreciated by everyone within the team, to be accepted and loved everywhere. It often works, yellow is popular.

And finally, green for the stable personality, the one in whom we like to confide, who is always caring and who is afraid of conflict. The caring and calm person who has difficulty asserting himself.

Some colors are completely incompatible.

Green and red for example. A red is a competitor, while the green will rather want to follow the movement without worrying. This will annoy Red, who doesn't like hesitant and indecisive people. And the green will feel oppressed.

Yellow and blue also have difficulty getting along. Yellow is messy and jovial, blue is analytical and formal. One will annoy the other, it’s inevitable.

I am lucky to be a little chameleon.

Challenges don't scare me, and I don't need to be authoritarian for people to follow me.

I like winning by giving glory to others, it really makes me happy to share.

Maintaining the atmosphere while maintaining effective cohesion and productivity is also one of my qualities.

Then, I calculate everything, while being sociable and cheerful.

Thanks to this palette, I intend to make my little place in the sun. And when I have a goal in mind… nothing stops me.

“La Défense”, finally.

I, who thought I was living in the heart of the action in my little apartment in the middle of Paris, now find myself having to make this half hour return trip at least four days a week.

It was stipulated in the contract that I had to have one day of teleworking.

Yes, teleworking is a cool idea, seen like that. We work wherever we want, at home for example. We can hold video conference meetings, which means staying in semi-pajamas, eating and taking breaks whenever we want, etc.

Yeah…

But that also means that we will have trouble getting off our computer in the evening and we will still be writing emails at ten p.m.!

Whereas when we leave the office because our day ends at five or six p.m., we go home without having the idea of getting back to work. Everything has its place, and for each environment, its state of mind.

Well.

I am facing the building that houses my new stronghold. It's time to make my entrance.

I already have my electronic badge even though I am on trial. So I can go through the doors and go directly to the site without obstacles.

I take a deep breath before starting, intending to act as if I've been coming to work here for several years.

We blend in with the crowd.

The numerous elevators are very visible from the entrance to the building. And I know where I need to go, thanks to the signs that list the names of the different agencies and companies that have their headquarters here.

I select the twenty-fifth floor and go up, paying little attention to the other people getting ready to go to their workstations.

I put on my jacket before going out to the floor that interests me. I introduce myself to the secretaries who run the reception switchboard, they give me documents and guide me to a meeting room where apparently the whole team discusses every Monday morning to define the objectives for the week and summarize the current projects .

Everyone arrived an hour ago. They brought me in now to introduce myself at the meeting…

Well, at least I'll only do it once in front of everyone and it'll save me time. But I'm nervous...

Among the first people to settle down, a slightly older and very elegant man calls out to me. This is probably the person I spoke to on the phone after the recruiters encouraged me to accept the offer.

Mr. Lacroix, the communication director.

“Carolina, I presume?”

“Yes, indeed, hello Mr. Lacroix, I am delighted to be here.”

“Oh, that’s nice to hear. And I am sure you will be very comfortable with us. Besides, everyone speaks informally in the house. Does that suit you?”

It’s funny to see such a distinguished man want to use familiarity from the start…

" Yes of course. You can use familiarity with me.”

“Hahaha, in that case, be familiar with me too! Call me Gilles.

Welcome, my dear.

Please take a seat, the whole team will arrive, you will quickly be in the bath.”

“Ok, thank you.”

I will never be able to speak to him on familiar terms*... never... But I must say that his welcome relaxed me.

I sit next to him, as he will certainly brief me on how “the house” works.

He begins to explain to me in more detail the purpose of this weekly meeting and introduces me to the team members who enter the room one after the other.

They all seem nice and relaxed, smiling at me and waving their hands to greet me or nodding politely.

I smile at each of them as well, until a familiar face appears...

A face that immediately takes the smile off my face.

No.

No, that's not possible.

I'm dreaming... That's all... I must be dreaming...

"Oh ! …Hi, Caro. It's been ages… "

It's a nightmare... I'm going to wake up...

I remain frozen, my eyes amazed, realizing that he is indeed there, and is seated right in front of me, at this large oval meeting table...

God… not that… Not him!

*In French, we say “tu” to say “you” when we are close to the interlocutor, like family and friends. And we say “vous” to say “you” when we speak formally, or with a person that we don't know. So, here, Mr Lacroix proposes to Carolina to speak friendly for a warm atmosphere at work.