Crush

Fucked. That is the one word that accurately describes my current situation. I have my final exams today, but when I was at Shiela’s house to study last night…well I was too busy studying her older brother. I should know all this shit, but after staring out the window at Jackson while he and his friends were messing around in the pool, let’s just say my mind has been stuck in a lust filled fog ever since. Sheila and I have been best friends since second grade and I've had the biggest crush on her brother, Jackson since I was in 4th grade. He was cute back then, but now? Now he's drop dead gorgeous!

Images of Jackson climbing out of the pool flood my mind in violent waves. His black hair, shaved on the sides and long on top, wet and hanging in his face, but it doesn't manage to disrupt the view of his chiseled jaw, bright blue eyes and perfect, full lips. Drops of water slowly slide down the rippled muscles of his chest and abs, down his deep v and soaking into his swim trunks. Sheila always told me I should just tell him how I feel. She didn’t believe in the ‘girl code’ bullshit about not dating each other’s siblings.

She would always tell me ‘you can’t help who you love’ she couldn’t have been more right. Last year I had tried to tell Jackson how I felt when I ran into him at one to the parties Sheila dragged me to, but it just blew up in my face. He gave me the whole ‘you’re like a sister to me’ speech and it broke me. Ever since that night, I can’t even look at Jackson unless it is from afar and he's not able to see that I'm looking. We never say more than a quick ‘hi’ and ‘bye’ now, which totally sucks. I used to be able to talk to him all the time! He used to cheer me up when I was down and when my only real boyfriend ended up cheating on me…he beat the shit out of him. God how I wish I had never gone to that party…never told him the truth.

“Ms. Phillips?” I am torn from my flashback of Jackson’s half naked body when Mr. Francis, my AP English teacher, calls out my name. I blink my eyes rapidly as though it might flush the images from my mind.

“I-I’m sorry, Mr. Francis.” He raises a concerned brow.

“The bell rang a few minutes ago.” I look at the clock and down at my test that, by some fucking miracle, is finished. Did I do this while I was daydreaming? What the hell did I even write?!

“Oh, I’m really sorry. My mind's a mess.” I stand up and bring my test to his desk, handing it to him with a faint smile.

“I know how stressful this is for all of you, but I'm sure you did great. You always do.” He gives me a reassuring smile as he places the test on the desk with the others. I head out of his class and feel extremely grateful that the day is finally over. All my finals are done and now it's just a matter of waiting for the grades to be posted.

I head out to the school parking lot to my dad’s BMW and quickly throw my bag in the backseat then climb in the driver’s seat. I feel my heart skip a beat when I catch the most beautiful baby blue eyes staring at me from 2 spaces over from beside his white mustang with the most beautiful amethyst flames that spread across the hood. Jackson always picks Sheila up, but he usually parks over by the jocks so he can hang out with his old high school friends. That being said, it was a bit awkward sitting here, exchanging glances.

I tear my gaze away and check over my shoulders to ensure it's safe to back out. I pull out of the parking lot with a great need to put distance between us. I needed to focus on the task at hand. Tonight is my senior prom and Sheila and I went shopping last week to get our dresses. I'd be lying if I didn’t say I was a little excited. Living in this small town doesn’t provide many opportunities to dress up. Sheila insisted that we get ready at her house so her mother could help with our hair and makeup. Her mother was definitely a second mother to me since mine dipped out on us when I was ten.

I grab my dress, shoes and a change of clothes and head out to the BMW, placing everything neatly inside before hopping in and driving the seven blocks to Sheila’s house. I'm pulling my dress and the bag with my clothes and shoes out of the car when I hear Jackson’s car pull into the driveway. I hurry to the door, hoping to avoid an unwanted encounter with him, but he beats me there by a fraction of a second and pulls open the door with a strange look on his face as he waits for me to go inside.

“Thanks.” I blurt out as I rush past him and run straight upstairs to Sheila’s room, slamming the door shut behind me.

“Girl, you look like you just ran a marathon. Let me guess…Jackson?” I nod as I'm standing there, hunched over with my hands on my knees, panting like a psychopath.

“Excellent guess. I need to shower.” She laughs and points to the bathroom that's attached to her room.

“Hurry up. Mom should be up soon to help us out.” I nod and rush into the bathroom, taking a quick shower and drying off before wrapping myself in the towel and walking out of the bathroom. Sheila is already in the process of getting her hair done by the time I exit the bathroom and her mother flashes me the warmest smile.

“Go ahead and get dressed. I should be done in a few minutes.” I smile and hurry to my bag to grab my black lace underwear and my dress then return to the bathroom. I slide on my underwear and then step into my dress, feeling a sudden wave of nervousness wash over me. My dress is a black silk open back halter dress that attaches to a black silk collar with an opening in the front that perfectly shows the top of my cleavage without be too slutty and a slit that stops just above midthigh. I can't wear a bra with it, so I feel somewhat exposed with my large chest being covered by nothing more than a thin layer of silk. I step out of the bathroom and hear both Sheila and her mother gasp when they see me.

“Oh god, it’s too much, isn’t it?!” I begin to feel panicked.

“NO! You're fucking gorgeous!” Sheila shouts, earning herself a sharp glare from her mother.

“Language! You look stunning, Letty.” I smile at the use of her nickname for me.

“Mom, we need to hurry.” I'm ushered to the chair in front of Sheila’s vanity and her mom quickly gets to work on my hair. She pulls my long auburn locks into an elegant up-do with soft curls cascading around my face then she gives me a perfect smokey eye and a matte dark mauve lipstick to finish off the look. I can hardly recognize the person staring back at me in the mirror.

“Ok, let’s get downstairs and get pictures!” I slip on my black suede strappy stilettos and follow Sheila down the stairs with her mother close behind me. We stand in front of the door, posing in every way we can think as her mother snaps dozens of pictures. We're about to walk out when I hear the sultry, deep voice of none other than Jackson.