"THAT GIRL"
I wish I could experience the beautiful aesthetics
I would if I had the motivation
It's not that I am not willing
I want to, honestly
Perhaps I do not read with a coffee in the Lofi vibes at the shop down the street not because I do not want to but because I don't believe I will get past page 3
Perhaps I do want to start realistic painting, as I admire the TV shows where there is showcasing
I tell myself I do not like these things but I secretly just wish I was better
It is easier to ignore and accept than it is to handle
I admire the eyeliner I see on that girl and instead of getting up and doing it, I sit there and scroll some more
I realize there is no point in buying supplies if I may never have the motivation to apply
And so I look at old photos where I felt this desire
And I allow it to define my aesthetic because all the other times I am tired
But that is part of you
It's true
And I felt so alone in this until I recently the truth beyond this
That girl may actually be depressed and think she is ugly, and maybe she is smiling not because of the consistency but because of how she managed to get ready
And maybe that is why she only posts monthly
And she never wishes you to see the pain she sees
Maybe the girl who poses with a tennis racket envies others who exercise everyday and she wishes to score like them out of habit
But perhaps she is lying and just picked up the racket to seem cool and hide the fact of the matter
I am not saying everyone is like this
And I am in no means trying to compare and make you feel invalid
Perhaps the opposite as this shall be addressed
Nobody is perfect
You are yourself
I want you to try to read that book on your shelf and when you think you stupid, I don't wanna hear it
Apply that makeup
You aren't ugly
I won't allow it
Post a picture of your bare face and try to draw it, accept what is scene as imperfections in society
You are boss
You have power and your mental health situation is valid
And I hope you know that next time you look in the mirror and have someone else besides others say this
You tell yourself
"I'm proud of you"
