The Unspoken

In disbelief, I whispered to myself, “Oh my God, this can’t be happening. What is he doing here?” Panic seized me, prompting a desperate attempt to conceal myself. I wasn’t ready to face him, utterly unprepared to encounter the person I’d spent five years trying to forget. His curly hair was meticulously styled, reminiscent of a famous New York runway model, and his jaw-dropping smile perfectly complemented his hypnotic eyes, leaving me speechless each time he crossed my path. Despite the passage of over five years, the weight of those memories made it feel like yesterday.

In the radiance of a bright morning, I was stirred awake by the gentle kiss of sunlight on my face. With a lazy yawn, I rose from my bed and reached for my cellphone to check the time. A sudden realization struck me as I stumbled; it was already past six in the morning, and I had a class to attend. Swiftly, I hurried into the bathroom to take a bath.

By the time I emerged from my room, clad in my school uniform, the clock had already marked 7:20. “Mom, you didn’t wake me up,” I greeted her, finding her engrossed in packing my lunch. “Oh, good morning. I’m glad you’re already awake. You’re 17 years old now; you should know your priorities. Train yourself to wake up early. Sit and eat; you’re already late.”

I tardily arrive at school, slipping into the classroom without daring to meet his gaze, even though we share seats. As I take my place, I sense his eyes on me through my peripherals, generating an uncomfortable feeling within me. Determined to avoid direct eye contact, I feign interest in my bag, pretending to search for something.

Breaking the silence, he greets me with a simple “hello, good morning.” Pausing for a moment, I glance in his direction, discovering his unwavering stare. Our eyes lock, and I find myself momentarily entranced. Lost in the moment, I forget to respond, only regaining composure to play it off casually before finally uttering a greeting.

His chuckle and smile shatter my equilibrium, leaving me flustered. How can someone be so effortlessly captivating? Is charisma his true talent? I can’t help but wonder if he comprehends the audacity of captivating someone’s heart without consent.

Days turned into weeks, weeks into months, and eventually, years passed, bringing us to our college days. To my surprise, he also chose engineering, mirroring my academic path. It raised questions in my mind—was it destiny, or was he merely following my footsteps? The nagging doubt lingered: was he stalking me, or could there be a mutual connection?

Caught in a self-debating whirlwind, I tried to silence the intrusive thoughts. “Erase! Erase! Erase!” I silently urged myself. “Sabrina, are you lost? Can you hear yourself? Stop thinking he likes you; you’re only hurting yourself. Understand!” Amidst this internal struggle, a concerned voice interrupted, tapping me on the shoulder, asking, “Are you okay?” I could sense the sincerity in his expression.

“I’m fine, totally fine,” I replied, as he nodded and continued walking. Determined to seize the moment, I called out, “Hey, Tom!” He halted, prompting me to run towards him. “Can I borrow your notes?” I asked quickly as I caught up. Without a word, he handed over his notebook, seamlessly blending back into the crowd. “Thanks,” I shouted, watching him disappear into the sea of faces.

In our final year of college, with graduation day looming, I find it strangely difficult to smile. The elusive joy seems tethered to thoughts of Tom. This marks my last opportunity to confess my feelings, yet courage eludes me. What if he rejects me? What if he harbors no reciprocation? The uncertainty torments me—what if he has a secret girlfriend?

As the awaited graduation day arrives, we both excel, adorned with academic honors. Following the ceremony, I embark on a quest to find Tom and express my feelings. Amidst the crowd, my search proves futile; he’s nowhere in sight. Did he already depart? I rush to the exit, fervently hoping he lingers within the school. Time blurs as I scan each passing face, yearning for a glimpse of Tom. It’s 8:00 PM, and he remains elusive. Perhaps luck has chosen not to favor our connection, and destiny has taken a different path.

Five years have passed since I joined one of the leading companies in Cebu City. Now, seated in the conference room with my co-engineers, we prepare for a meeting with our partner company for our most significant project in Cebu. While waiting for others to arrive, my boss calls me, prompting me to step out of the conference room.

As I approach the glass door, a familiar figure catches my eye—Tom. My system freezes in disbelief. What is he doing here? Is he part of the engineering team from our partner company? Rushing back to my seat, I hope he didn’t notice me. Without glancing back at the door, I feign busyness, engaged in conversation with my boss over the phone. Concluding the call, as I’m about to return my phone to my purse, someone takes a seat beside me. To my surprise, it’s him.

“It’s been so long since the last time we saw each other. How are you, Sabrina?” His use of my name sends a jolt through me. “Tom?” I respond, as if feigning ignorance. Oh my God, Sabrina, how can you be so foolish in front of your long-time crush? My entire system is in disarray, rendering me incapable of formulating the right words. Enchanted, I find myself gazing at his fully grown face, captivated by the presence of this handsome man who has lingered in my dreams.