Lisa

Note: This story takes place in the early 1980’s, a time when knowledge about autism was a mere fraction of what it is today. In addition, it is important to keep in mind that there is a wide spectrum. Lisa has a very mild form, which allows her to function as well or better than many women her age. In addition, growing up in a large church helped her socialization considerably. Nonetheless, she definitely faces challenges from her condition.

If any readers have questions or issues with my portrayal of Lisa, feel free to leave a comment. Thank you.

I know a girl from a lonely street.

Cold as ice cream, but still as sweet.

Riding high, Sunday Girl.

Blondie.

September 1982.

Southern California.

Where the fuck is Lisa? I gave her clear directions to this park…

“Ray, your weird ugly girlfriend flaked on us. Let’s see if we can get a chick from the mall to do the part.”

I buried any sign of annoyance, as my best friend and community college film class partner would certainly taunt me further. “C’mon, Nick. I only asked Lisa to be in this scene, not on a date or anything. And she’s not exactly ugly. Plain, yeah. Strange? For sure. Anyways, I’m not sure she’s into men.”

Nick unscrewed my 8mm camera from the tripod and laughed. “Ray, Lisa might not be into men, but four years ago, she was Rudy’s girlfriend. That was before he moved away to graduate school.”

Though pushing thirty, our short, soft, balding and overly mild-mannered friend Rudy inexplicably enjoyed hanging out with nineteen-year-old Nick and me. In my opinion, he lived vicariously through our often-outrageous behaviors.

Lukewarm Lisa and Milquetoast Rudy. That seems right…

“Rudy’s girlfriend? How old is Lisa?”

“Around twenty-two.”

Just like Kerry, the glass-eyed coworker who took my virginity last week. What a body on her…

“Huh. That’s kind of young for Rudy, but… Oh, look, Nick. There she is. Hey, Lisa! Over here!”

Five-foot-five blonde Lisa hurried along the tiny suburban park pathway to us. “Ray, Nick. Hi. I’m so sorry to be late. Thank you for waiting. The traffic…”

I waved dismissively. “Lisa, it’s only twenty minutes. Not a big deal.”

Her small, light brown eyes stared through me. “Okay.”

Lisa’s really sweet, but kind of creepy, too…

With the matter of tardiness behind her, enigmatic computer programmer Lisa awaited my instructions. Though I had only met her at Nick’s church last Sunday, she had readily agreed to be an actress in our project.

“First off, Lisa, we really appreciate you doing this. It should only take about half an hour. Umm, your sunglasses, skirt and blouse are fine, but the shoes… You don’t have any heels?”

Lisa’s nasally voice rang as flat as her figure. “You didn’t say to wear heels, Ray.”

She had a point. “Correct. That’s on me. Alright, I’ll get around that. Can you untie your hair and spread it out?”

Lisa did as told but asked, “Why?”

Because you have a very homely face, so I’m going to shoot you from behind. Everyone will see a thin young woman with mid-back blonde hair and just assume you’re hot…

More sensibly, I answered, “You’re a foreground element, and the hair is eye-catching.”

“Okay.”

I lightly guided Lisa’s delicate arm to position her and felt tension. “Lisa? Is it alright for me to touch you?”

She half-smiled. “Yes, it is. Thank you for asking. It just surprised me, Ray.”

Interesting…

Nick busied himself with setting up the camera and tripod, so I indulged my curiosity. “Let me get this straight, Lisa. If you know I’m going to touch you, it’s fine? For example, hold your wrist up. Good. Now, I’m going to run the back of my fingernails up your forearm, like this.”

Her expression did not change. At all. “Yes, Ray. It’s nice.”

Well, that failed to get any rise out of her. Back to business…

“Lisa, this project is Nick’s assignment for our film class. It's a short action sequence that starts like this: You wave to me, I approach from off-camera, then you make a please gesture. Let me see it.”

Her small hands limply tented. Barely. “Like this?”

Is she fucking with me?

“No, Lisa. It needs to be much bigger. Uhh, I’m going to move your hands.”

“Okay.”

I brought her palms together, then enthusiastically raised and lowered them. “This way, it will show up on film.”

“Okay. But Ray? It looks silly. Shouldn’t I just say please?”

I looked to Nick, but he only offered a knowing smirk. I sighed, “Lisa, it’s a silent movie. I mean, there will be music with it, but no talking. And it’s supposed to be silly.”

“Okay.”

She’s growing on me…

“Good. So, after saying… uhh, gesturing, you point up towards that light.”

She looked skyward at the thirty-foot-high steel lamp post in front of us. “Umm, Ray? There’s a purse hanging from the top.”

A mere statement of fact. No surprise or amusement. Fascinating…

“Yes. It’s yours, Lisa. Well, your character’s. You… She wants me to get it down for her.”

Her gaze switched between me and the pink handbag I had borrowed from my sister. “Ray? I don’t understand. There’s no reason for a purse to be up there.”

Nick turned away to hide his snickering. Apparently, explaining humor was part of the Lisa Experience. “Correct again, Lisa. That’s the whole point. The purse being there is an absurdity, and our non-acknowledgement adds to the humor.”

Her oversized, zit-peppered nose twitched. “Like a Monty Python sketch.”

A chick who’s into Python. Wow, that’s The Holy Grail. As homely as she is, maybe I should ask her out…

That got Nick’s attention. “Lisa, you like Monty Python?”

Her head shook a millimeter. “No. Not at all. But now I understand what you want me to do.”

I couldn’t contain my snort of laughter. “Okay, great. So, you point at the purse, do another please, then I go get it.”

A tiny breeze of concern crossed her narrow face. “You’re going to climb up that pole? Ray, it’s thirty-one and a half feet high.”

Oddly specific…

I feigned horror. “Oh, shit! When I put the purse up there, it was only thirty feet high. Whatever shall I do?”

A corner of Lisa’s mouth slightly drooped. “Ray, there’s no need to be vulgar and mean.”

She’s compliant but doesn’t like teasing or cursing. Quite the challenge for me…

Nick howled, “Lisa, Ray absolutely needs to be vulgar and mean!”

Ignoring his true statement, I said. “I’m sorry, Lisa. It won’t happen again.”

“Okay.”

When she lets things go, they seem to be gone. I suppose there’s a limit, though…

Just to be sure, I offered a guiding hand, which she obediently accepted. “When I slide down and give you the purse, you’ll hug me and kiss my cheek, then we’ll stroll hand in hand out of the scene. If you’re all right with that.”

“Like I’m your girlfriend?”

I purposely avoided glancing at Nick. “Well, our characters become a couple. Yes.”

Her x-ray stare lasted two seconds, giving me the opportunity to notice how extensively the acne riddled her pale skin. “Ray, does that sort of thing work? You do something for a girl, then suddenly she’s in love? It seems unlikely.”

Huh. I’ve never thought about it that way. I could learn some things from Lisa…

I paused to find an appropriate response. “Lisa, my approach is much more direct. Probably too direct, to be honest. Hmm. Doing favors… I guess there is some correlation with successful courtship. But no, on its own, that gift/reward shi… stuff doesn’t work. It’s just a fairy tale, silent movie and cartoon trope.”

“Okay.”

When something makes sense, she doesn’t fight it…

“Great, Lisa. This is a one-shot scene, so let’s rehearse a few times…”

It took six tries, but Lisa finally performed her uninspired movements and positions correctly.

I checked on Nick, who would be working the camera. “Nick, use this lever to fade-in. Start with a tight shot on Lisa’s hair, then zoom out to fit both of us from the waist up. Slowly tilt up with Lisa’s pointing arm, then keep going until you get to the purse. Zoom back to show the entire pole, which I will be starting to climb. When I grab the purse, zoom back in and follow my slide down. Hit the fade-out lever when we walk out of the scene.”

Following the times on a storyboard he had sketched out, Nick rehearsed the camera movements twice, then gave me a thumbs-up.

I announced, “Ideally, we’ll get this in one take, because I can’t climb that pole too many more times.”

Lisa tapped my arm. “You’re good at this, Ray. I’ll do my best.”

“Thank you, Lisa. Hey, hold on one second.”

I took off my checkerboard Vans, then peeled off the socks and balled them up. “Lisa, I’m going to tape these to the bottom of your feet to simulate heeled shoes. Nick, make sure you frame her from mid-calf up.”

I knelt while she silently pulled a foot out of her flats into my waiting hand. I gently stroked her spindly calf to make sure it was smooth, then once more, because why not? I tipped a wink at her curious face. “I’m glad you shaved. I don’t want to rip out any hair when we take the tape off.”

“I used Nair.”

Reflexively, I turned my face to Lisa’s eye-level crotch.

Does she Nair her bush, too? Huh. Is that a whiff of… arousal I’m smelling? Alright, knock it off. Be professional.

Heh…

Using the duct tape we always carried on shoots, I fastened my socks to her heels, giving them a two-inch lift. I slipped Lisa’s shoes back on and evaluated her posture.

I’ll be damned. There’s a bit of sexiness to her…

“Lisa, hike up your skirt. A few inches above the knees.”

“Okay”

“Yes, that’s it. Your legs are going to look fantastic in the movie.”

She neutrally replied, “Thank you, Ray.”

Heh. A little blush. Whoops, now it’s gone…

Nick spoke up. “Let’s go!”

This better not be a waste of film…

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