Changed

‘Do you really think this is going to work?’

Keira looked over at her friend as they lay in their sleeping bags together. ‘What do you think?’

Dani sighed. ‘You’re right. In our dreams.’

Keira turned her attention back to the night sky. Keira had known her best friend long enough to know when she was lying; to know when she was relieved, rather than resigned.

Keira’s own sigh was very different.

She laid her hands upon her chest. It was a warm night and a new moon, allowing the stars to twinkle brightly. She watched closely but could see nothing untoward. No bright lights. No profound, wondrous men stalked the shadows.

They were on the edge of the neighbourhood campground, rolling hills sweeping into the distance, far enough away from the bright lights of town. Though, apparently, the aliens didn’t seem to care whether they abducted from the countryside or the city centre—so the rumours told.

Keira’s home was twenty minutes away.

She wished it was more.

Galaxies more.

She sighed again.

‘You’re smart, Keira. You don’t really believe the rumours are true, do you?’ Dani said. ‘Women aren’t being abducted. Aliens don’t exist. Or, if they do, they ain’t coming here.’

‘Likely.’ Maybe not. ‘I like to think it’s possible.’ An unbidden tear rolled down the side of her face. She quickly swiped it away before Dani could see, combing her fingers through her long dark hair to cover it up.

‘It’s not possible.’

‘I can dream. I can have fun.’

Keira screwed up her face as she fought against her sadness. She didn’t know why. She hadn’t realised how upset she was with her life—and she really had nothing to be upset about! She was going to a good college. Her mum was a … well … reasonable mother. She lived in a house.

Not a nice house.

And she was failing one of her subjects.

Would there be enough food in the fridge for breakfast?

The last thing she wanted was to go back home tomorrow. To go back to college Monday. To return to the usual mindless grind. To be alone. To deal with her poverty. Keira wrapped her arms around her chest, holding back another sigh.

‘What are you thinking?’ Dani asked.

‘Nothing,’ Keira said, trying to stifle the choke in her voice. ‘Is this all life is?’

‘What do you mean? What more do you want?’

Keira shrugged.

‘Life’s okay, I suppose,’ Dani said. ‘Nothing special.’ And she said it in such a way, Keira gave her a pointed look.

Dani gave her a quivering smile. ‘Life is pointless. Death is certain. Struggle is a probability.’

‘Fantasy exists in our imagination,’ Keira agreed. ‘Our silly imaginations.’

’Our extraordinary imaginations,’ Dani said. ‘Imaginations as big as the universe.’

Keira laughed tearfully. ‘We talk such stupid shit.’

’Yeah. But true shit.’

They both turned their gazes back towards the stars. A cool breeze brushed the fringe from Keira’s face. Crickets were chirping. She could hear the distant whoosh of traffic. There came laughter from the camp.

‘But what if it is true?’ Keira said.

‘What?’

‘The rumours. That aliens really are abducting women to … you know. Would you go?’

‘If they’re hot … yeah … sure.’ Dani laughed. ’But then again, how do you know they’re good aliens? What makes you think they won’t abuse us? What about all those … you know … anal probes and stuff.’

Keira burst into laughter.

‘It’s true!’ Dani rolled onto her side. ’Or rape you. Or hurt you. Or kill you! Who says they simply want to have sex with you? To love you? How often in human history has that even been the case between men and women? Why would they be any different?’

‘There are stories …’

‘Stories. Made up stories! By lonely old women, no doubt.’

‘For God’s sakes, Dani, let me dream why don’t you?’

Dani turned onto her back. More laughter came from the camp. There came the sound of distant cheering, as though someone was watching a match. A cool breeze made Keira goose pimple. She wrapped her arms around herself more tightly.

‘What about you?’ Dani said. ‘So, I guess you’d go with them?’

‘In a heartbeat.’

Keira tried to stay awake that night, listening out, but the camp soon turned quiet and she eventually drifted into sleep.

The next morning dawned bright and sunny. Later, they were quiet as they took down their tent and folded up their sleeping bags.

‘Well … no aliens … but it was fun anyway,’ Dani said.

‘Yeah. We should do it again someday.’

‘Someday,’ Dani agreed.

The windows were down and Keira’s hair whipped in the wind as they drove back home. It was an unusually nice day and it was sad to leave the campground behind. It wasn’t long before the rolling hills were replaced with homes, then industrial buildings, then town homes, then the treeless, polluted warren of derelict social housing.

‘Thanks, Dani, I’ll call you,’ Keira said, climbing out of the car and getting her things. She slammed the boot shut.

‘See you soon!’ Dani called through the window.

Keira waved as she drove away, watching until she disappeared around the corner. Hoisting up her bags, Keira walked up to her front door. Her mother’s car was parked against the curb. Keira stared. Home from work on a Monday? Her heart sank.

The door was unlocked. Keira lifted her nose at the smell of what might be hash browns in the oven. Dropping her bags on the couch, she entered the kitchen and saw her mother bustling around the stove. Her bleached blonde hair was caught up in a messy bun. She was in her dressing gown, stained and so worn Keira could practically see through it.

‘Why aren’t you at work?’ Keira asked.

‘Oh!’ Her mother twisted around, grinning guiltily as she held up an oily spatula. ‘I didn’t hear you come in! Hope you’re hungry!’

She quickly turned away before Keira could catch anything amiss. Before she could catch the dark circles under her eyes and the tremble in her lip.

‘They fired you,’ Keira said.

Her mother didn’t answer, humming under her breath.

Keira’s heart sank further. She should have stayed home. At least, then, she could have coaxed her mother up. Helped her get dressed. Got her into her car. She looked over towards the bin and saw that her mother had already emptied it. How much did she have to drink last night?

‘I didn’t know we had bacon,’ Keira said, watching her cook. She tried her best to keep the sharpness out of her voice.

‘I went shopping.’

‘In your pyjamas?’

‘It’s only down the road.’

‘Did you even wear shoes?’

Her mother slammed the spatula down. ‘For God’s sakes, Keira! I’m just trying to do something nice for you.’

‘Okay, Mum.’ Keira got some plates and cutlery. The plates clattered upon the table.

‘Not so loud!’ Her mother threw up her hands, about to grab at her head with her greasy hands before thinking better of it. She slammed down the spatula again, then turned over the bacon. Eggs popped and sizzled.

Keira sat, hands tucked between her knees. She said nothing, staring at the wall, thinking of her conversation with Dani last night.

‘Here you go,’ her mother said, smiling, as she slid several rashes of bacon, eggs and hash browns onto her plate.

Keira frowned. ‘What about you?’

Her mother sat down like a child in front of her empty plate, knees folded up into her chest. She looked so skinny. Her collarbones were pressing against her top. Keira could see all the little bones in her wrists.

‘This is all for you,’ her mother said.

’Mum …’

’All for you.’ And she looked through the window, chewing on a hangnail.

Dropping her head, Keira dutifully ate the food, tasting only the tears in her throat.