Fall of the Forsaken(on hold)

(3 weeks before Alita's return)

I could only blankly stare at the papers before me as a tear fell from my cheek, smearing the fresh ink that formed my name.

As they were taken away and handed to the people sitting on the stands before me, it felt like I was falling…

The feeling was similar to that day. Yet also so different. The same overwhelming sense of dread and loss that washed over me, the sinking feeling in my gut, the fear of the unknown... All those feelings matched, despite the circumstances being the complete opposite.

My daze was partially broken at the sound of someone clearing their throat. Lifting my chin to look forward I found myself facing the 6 court deities. Just like before…

“With the support of both the minister of defense, and the votes of dozens of krosian officials, the law to disband the penal colony upon the world of xanadis and cease all future criminals from being exiled to the planet shall be in effect immediately.”

“In addition to this, xanadis will now be sanctioned as a preserve, void of any more krosian interference without official approval of the head of state affairs, our minister of defense, and of course our head of research. With these new laws in mind All further expeditions, and science regarding the planet shall be put on hold until the seventh court deity position is no longer compromised.”

No eyes even once glanced at the empty seat at the end of the stand.

The first court deity stood up from his seat, adjusting his glasses as he finished reading the documents before him and proceeded to stamp them. “As of this day, no human shall be permitted to step foot on the alien planet of xanadis without facing severe consequences or persecution.”

With that everyone started gathering their things and the silent room was filled with the soft mutterings of officials as they prepared to leave.

My eyes followed the signed document as it was passed from the first court deities hands to a record keeper. And placed into a file folder to be taken elsewhere.

“Alita.” A voice called out to me and I flinched, my head snapping to the figure behind me, as their hand touched my shoulder.

The sight of a familiar face helped calm my nerves only slightly as he looked at me worriedly. Varin.

Blinking a few times, I turned away from the podium and didn’t say a word as I made my way out of the courtroom.

It’s funny how similar this was to that day…only this time I wasn’t being escorted out by guards, and in handcuffs.

I was free. Yet I’ve never felt more trapped…

“Are you okay?” Varins concerned voice pulled me from my momentary turmoil.

Turning back to look at him I didn’t quite know what to do or what to say. Looking at his hand I saw he was still holding my mother’s circlet.

“Yeah. I’m just tired is all. I think I’m going to go back to my quarters.” I gave a reassuring smile to him before turning away. I only managed to take a few steps before a hand grabbed my wrist to stop me.

“Alita, please. Just don’t shut me out okay? I’m here for you, you’re not alone anymore if you need anything just tell me! If your angry then go ahead and take it out on me i won’t blame you–”

My chest ached at those words. ‘Not alone anymore’? I’ve never felt more alone than I do now. Being so far away from my friend and from Azriel. All The people I care about and will never see again. Varin really is all I have left.

Glancing back to varin I could see officer Zena coming up Behind him with two of her security guards. “I just need some time alone.”I spoke quietly before turning my gaze away and started walking down the hall.

Varin didn’t call or chase after me as I walked away, he just watched until I turned a corner disappearing from sight.

I kept my head down as I moved through the halls of krosa, making my way to my quarters on the ship.

A few people I passed by simply overlooked my presence and continued on about their day but many would stop whatever they were doing and stare at me as I walked by. There were a few faint whispers among some of the onlookers that I passed, that just made me seek the isolation and safety of my room, much quicker.

As soon as I came upon my dwelling, I rushed to get the door open and step inside. Once I was through the main doorways threshold and it closed behind me I felt I could breathe again.

But that relief was nothing compared to the inner turmoil writhing inside of me. Putting my hand to my chest I could feel my head racing as I leaned back against the door, my legs feeling weak.

Empty silence was all that greeted me here. A silence that weighed heavily on my heart… almost as heavily as the isolation I felt.

A choked sob escaped me as I covered my mouth and sank down to the floor. The papers were signed. The council meeting was held and everything was made official today. Humans would no longer be exiled to xanadis to suffer for their crimes. The planet would be placed under xeno-rights protection in order to preserve the xandisians way of life.

Humans can no longer trespass on the planet and cause harm to its inhabitants, and all the weapons that the criminals had been given were for the most part brought back to krosa. The planet was now a wildlife-preserve of sorts while being protected by these new laws. Something my father had been trying to fix ever since krosa became an orbital habitat colony.

Everything was just. Everything was how it should have been and things were back to normal. I should be happy, possibly even celebrating this new achievement with varin and others in the entertainment district.

But instead, I’ve never felt more miserable. Not even the day my life was thrown into chaos and I was exiled could compare to this.

Tears streamed down my cheeks as I hugged my knees and hid my face. Everything was as it should have been yet here I am sitting alone, crying on the floor.

It hasn’t even been more than two weeks since I awoke from my coma and yet I can’t stop from feeling absolutely destroyed over everything.

I’ll never be able to set foot on xanadis again, never get to see my friends or the place I had been calling home, never be able to see Azriel–

Fresh tears burned my eyes as sobs racked my body.

It’s been three months.

Does he even know I’m still alive?!

So many thoughts and possibilities raced through my mind just as they had been since I first woke up. So many questions plagued me as I sat there alone unable to accept anything that’s happened.

I’m back in my home.l, I’m safe– that’s what people keep telling me, but… this place hasn’t been my home in a long time.

Time passed and my tears dried as I sat there in front of the door, unwilling to move. Only when I felt movement in my stomach did I finally snap out of the State of despair I was trapped in.

Lifting my head I lowered my legs and tentatively placed a hand on my belly. I still remembered the shock that varin put me in when he gave me the news.

On top of being isolated from everyone and waking from a coma, I had to come to terms with a whole different reality, far beyond what I ever could have been prepared for.

I’m pregnant.

The thought itself was mind shattering. I had hardly humored the idea of being compatible with azriel while on xanadis.

As much as I wished I could be the one to give him a family like he wanted, I knew all too well that the chances were nearly non-existent.

Yet when I was brought back the doctors were constantly doing testing and keeping a close eye on my health as I was under. They took notice of a change about a month in and discovered I was in fact carrying.

Varin didn’t know what to do or think at the time, Zena told me he all but broke down at first. Blaming himself for everything thinking I would hate him forever when I woke and found out.

But when he told me, I was just stunned into silence. I never blamed him for any of this, he only did what he thought he needed to in order to save me. He never meant to tear me away from the life I had created.

We haven’t really talked much in the past few days, I hate myself for blocking him out but right now I can hardly keep myself from shutting down.

Sniffling, I wiped my face with the back of my hand and stood up, slowly I made my way into my home and looked around. The place I had grown up, the place I once felt safe in, felt so alien to me now.

It was no longer my refuge, if anything it felt like my prison.

Stepping over to a table that held a vase with fake flowers and a picture frame, I paused. The screen on the frame was black, showing no image besides my faint reflection upon the glass.

Hesitantly I tapped the screen making it light up and show a familiar family photo.

Me, varin, mom and dad. I stared at the image, feeling my chest constrict even more. Seeing the four of us all happy and healthy together when I was merely a toddler. I took the frame and walked over to the couch to sit down and gaze at it.

It had been so long since I saw my father, and even longer since I had seen my mother… I had forgotten how much I resembled her.

What would they think of my situation right now? What would they have done to make me feel better?

A stray tear fell down my cheek as I looked away from the image and took a deep breath trying not to break down again.

As I closed my eyes. I was startled by a knock at the front door. Has varin come back? Wiping the tear away I got back to my feet and placed the picture frame back before stepping over to the door.

Trying to stay strong I opened the door ready to greet my brother only to be surprised by the sight of another visitor. A doctor?

“Ah good day, lady asmora!”

Blinking a few times I tried to gather my thoughts. “uhm- greeting doctor?”

He smiled with a nod as he adjusted his coat. “I’m sure you’re surprised to see me, I’m merely here for a checkup if that’s alright?”

“sure.” I responded before stepping aside to let him in. He made his way in and walked over to the couch, looking around before turning back to me. I made my way over nervously holding myself while avoiding eye contact.

“You have a lovely home. Don’t worry there’s no need to feel nervous, I’m simply here to talk and check your overall health miss, shall we sit?”

I nodded and sat down with a sigh. “did my brother request you to come see me?”

“not at all miss Asmora, I was ordered to come speak with you, by the council. After all you’ve been through quite a bit.”

The council sent him? “That’s surprising.” I hardly thought they’d care about my overall health after they sent me to my death. I thought bitterly while holding out my atm for the doctor to check my vitals.

“Yes well, you have had quite a particular experience in the past few months. It’s only right that you be well taken care of after being put through such traumatic events. Especially when you ended up coming back in this state…” His eyes briefly glanced at my belly.

In turn I covered my stomach with my free arm and didn’t say anything. After checking my pulse and blood pressure he looked at his tablet, marking down a few notes. “The council made it very clear to me that it’s of the utmost importance that we get your situation taken care of. I’m here to help you through the process and answer any questions as well as making sure you’re fit and ready for the procedure.”

All at once it’s as if time came to a screeching halt and I felt my stomach drop. Looking at the doctor as he looked over his tablet I couldn’t quite understand what he meant.

Standing up he paused to look up at me confused as I stared at him. “What procedure?”

He seemed a bit off-put by my question as he lowered the tablet. “miss there’s no need to feel threatened, I’m a trained professional, the best in my department if you will. I will make sure that everything goes smoothly and there’s zero complications so you need not stress–”

“What procedure!” I snapped, stepping away from the startled doctor.

He was silent for a moment as he set the tablet in his lap before finally responding.

“the abortion of course.”