Love After Loss

Stephanie

Four years ago

“I’m so sorry we couldn’t make this work.” Jake says sadly.

“I’m sorry, too. I guess this is goodbye?” I ask.

Standing in front of the courthouse after our divorce hearing is somewhere I never expected to be. I guess shit happens, but never thought said shit would happen to us.

You see, Jake and I went through a traumatic event that ultimately caused the demise of our marriage. Nobody should have to endure what we endured. If Jake cheated, or I cheated, that would be one thing, but that wasn’t the reason for our split.

In the beginning, Jake and I leaned on each other for support, but started drifting apart several months after. We didn’t even fight. We just stopped talking. The sex continued, but even that couldn’t bring us back to each other. We were both so deep into a depression that everything was without emotion. We just went through the motions of existing until it went on for far too long. I filed for divorce eight months ago and today it’s official.

“Not yet. I still have to get the rest of my stuff from the house. Would you rather I get everything without you there and just leave the key on the counter?” he asks.

“No, Jake. I’ll help you. Just because our marriage didn’t work out doesnt mean I hate you. I don’t.” I answer. In fact, I still love him. I always will. He is the love of my life.

“Well, okay then. I’ll meet you there.” he says as he walks to his truck.

I watch him walk away and can’t help but admire his body. Even after all of these years, I am still attracted to him. At 6’4” and 240lbs, he’s chiseled in all the right places, but still has a softness about him that I love. . His dark brown hair is shaved on the sides, but long on the top, allowing him to wear it in a man bun. I love when it’s down and can run my fingers through it while staring into his bright green eyes. I really wish things could have been different, but they say God has a plan. .

Following him to our house we’ve shared for ten years, I reflect back on when we met. I was a barista at a local coffee shop Jake would frequent, especially around college exam time. He used to always say that my smile and the caffeine helped him stay focused so he could study. After close to a year, he finally asked me out and we were inseparable going forward. He got a degree in business and I got my degree in how to make the best cup of coffee.

I didn’t go to college. I knew from early on that I didn’t plan to go. My dreams were to work in the real estate business, so that’s the route I went. I’ve done well for myself financially, but money isn’t everything. If it was, we wouldn’t be in the situation we’re in now. Divorced.

I am no longer Stephanie Elaine Johnson. I decided to go back to my maiden name. Hayes. It’s going to be so strange signing my name as Hayes after ten years. But, it is what it is.

Once we arrive at the house, we step inside and look around. Most of my things have been moved to the little house I bought across town, so aside from a few things we each have to get, including Jake’s weight bench in the spare bedroom, it’s empty.

We stand in silence in our home, or what used to be our home. Memories flood my mind as I look around the house I thought we’d be in forever. Or at least until we ran out of bedrooms for kids. There was so much laughter and love here.

“Do you remember the time we had our food fight? The walls, or parts of them, were stained with red sauce from our supper that night. You told me “It’s okay, cupcake. Nothing a little paint won’t fix.”. If only a little paint would have fixed us.” I say sadly.

“I am so sorry, Steph. Truly sorry. We should have gotten help from the beginning.” he says before disappearing into the spare bedroom.

Against my better judgment, I follow and find him sitting on his weight bench, elbows on his knees, with his face buried in his hands. He hasn’t let me see him cry much, but today isn’t one of those times.

“Jake…” I start to say.

“Steph, I’m just feeling defeated is all. I never thought I would say this, but I’ve lost you.” he cries into his hands. I kneel down in front of him and out of habit, run my fingers through his hair. I hear his breath hitch and then he lifts his head and looks into my eyes. I should move away, but I don’t. “I’m sorry, cupcake.” he adds, calling me the nickname he gave me before we were married.

“It’s not just your fault. It’s mine, too.” I whisper. I bend down to kiss his cheek, but he turns his head and our lips meet instead. We both freeze, not sure what to do from here. The only movement is the beating of our hearts and the only sound is the breath escaping from our lips. Can I do this? Can I have one final goodbye with Jake? Before I can answer my own question, his tongue slips from his lips and seeks entrance between mine.

Sex was never the issue. The issue was learning how to communicate with each other after what happened. We would go weeks without speaking, but somehow would still have sex several times a week.

His hands reach down and my arms automatically lift in agreement. Jake yanks my shirt over my head and crashes his mouth back against mine, so rough that our teeth clash. In seconds, I have his belt removed and his pants down to his ankles. He grabs the back of his shirt and pulls it over his head, separating our mouths before finding each other again. Straddling his legs, I slide my panties to the side and lower myself over his length.

“Oh fuck, cupcake. Your pussy has always fit snuggly around my cock. Ride my dick one last time, Steph.” Jake moans. Pushing him down to lay on the bench, I reach over and hold onto the bar and give him one last final ride. With his hands on my hips, he helps me bounce up and down while the slapping of our skin echoes off the walls.

“Jake…” I moan, feeling the emotions building with my orgasm.

“I know, me too.” he moans back. “Tell me once more. Please.” he begs.

“I love you, Jake.” I reply.

“I love you, Stephanie.” he whispers, sending me over the edge. My orgasm warms my skin and the pleasure immediately follows. Jake sits up and flips me over to my back with my ass hanging off the end. On his knees with his hands on my ankles, he spreads me wide and fucks me hard. “Don’t ever forget. You can move on, but don’t ever forget that it was me who had you first. My lips, my tongue, and my cock were the first to ever make you come.” he grunts.

“Jake!!!” I scream as another orgasm rushes over me. And then I realize. Fuck. I stopped taking my birth control. “Don’t come in me. You need to pull out!” I shout.

“Okay. Give me one more. Gotta hurry.” he groans. Placing my feet over his shoulders, he pushes his thumb against my clit and moves it side to side. “Come on, cupcake.” he urges. Lifting my head, I watch as he fucks me. I’ve always loved watching him slide all the way out and sink all the way back in. It turns me on watching his thick cock fill me up. “Fuck yes, I know you so well. See how wet my dick is from your juices? Shitttt, that’s goooood. Squeeze me, Steph.” he moans as I come one last time before he pulls out, strokes his hand over his cock twice, and unloads on my belly.

With the ink barely dry on our divorce papers, Jake and I say our goodbyes in our own way; with him spilling his seed over my skin. After cleaning ourselves up, we load the rest of our items in our vehicles and face each other for the last time.

“It is so hard to say goodbye. But I know it’s for the best. Go be happy, Jake.” I say with tears.

Jake tears up and rubs a thumb over my cheek. “I’ll always love you, cupcake. Goodbye.” he says. He kisses my cheek and before I can speak, he’s in his truck and speeding off.

Jake

A year and three months later

My divorce has been final for well over a year. That’s also the last time my dick has been buried in a tight pussy. Fuck, I miss her so much. I saw her once from a distance coming out of the hair salon and I came so close to speaking, but I didn’t. She looked….happy. The complete opposite of what I am. Miserable.

My life hasn’t been the same since losing her.

“Hey, Jake. Drowning your sorrows again?” Lane asks as he walks to the bar. Lane and his twin brother Luke are high school buddies of mine. We lost contact, but we ran into each other a few months back and hang out every now and then.

“Shut the fuck up, bro. I can’t help it. I miss her.” I say.

“Dude, you just gotta get back out there and test the waters. Hey, why don’t you swing by tonight? We’re having a party. I want you to meet my girl. Hell, she may even bring a friend you can enjoy.” Lane suggests.

“Sure. But no girls for me. I’m not ready.” I reply.

“You never know. You gotta get your dick wet, man. Pussy will make it better.” Lane laughs. “Anyway, see you around 7:00?” he says rhetorically before grabbing his food and walking out.

Fuck it. Maybe he’s right. Tonight I may just forget about Steph for awhile and get some pussy at the same time.

Walking to my apartment, which just happens to be in the same building as Luke and Lane’s, I shower, throw on some cologne, and check the time. It’s 6:00, but hell, let’s get this party started early.

Knocking on the door, I hear Luke call out “Come on in!”. Beer in hand, I open the door and look around. I see Lane with a woman on his lap and they are making out heavily while Luke has a girl at his side.

“Where do you want the beer? Cooler or fridge?” I ask. I hear a gasp and turn towards the noise. No. No. It can’t be.

“Jake??” Steph exclaims. My ex-wife is the one sitting on Lane’s lap and is now white as a sheet. And I just stare. My feet are planted to the floor. I can’t move. She looks as beautiful as ever. Long legs attached to her 5’9” frame, blonde hair that falls to the middle of her back, thick thighs and ass, big tits, and mesmerizing blue eyes. I love her curvy body and have kissed every inch more times than I can count.

Lane’s voice brings me out of my thoughts. “How do you know Jake?” he asks. I can see the moment it registers. “No. Oh, fuck!” Lane exclaims. I finally find my feet and turn, rushing out the door. I hear my name being called by both Lane and Stephanie, but I keep running. I reach my apartment, throw some personal belongings, as well as the picture of me and Steph into a suitcase, and don’t look back.

I feel as if my heart broke all over again. The love of my life was making out with my buddy. Those should have been my lips and hands on her. How could she move on? I know we’re divorced, but I don’t understand how it seems so easy for her, when I’m fucking miserable without her. Without her smile. Her touch. Her LOVE.

I drive. I drive for hours until I can’t drive anymore. Stopping to use the bathroom and get food, I look around at the small town in Georgia and decide this is as good a place as any to start over. I have no choice, unfortunately.