Over Coffee and Tea
It was a Sunday on which there was literally nothing going on. Azhar had already been to the only movie worth watching that had released during the weekend and none of his favourite comedians were performing in the local club that he lik
ed to frequent. He had long ago lost his appetite for food, and he could always try the new restaurants out from the comfort of his couch. But he felt like he had had it or maybe it was just as a result of the latest video posted on YouTube by a guy, he couldn’t admit had become a sort of guru to him. The video in question pointed out the various benefits of being in the outdoor mud, Azhar hence, in a completely uncharacteristic way, took a decision to join a trekking group on a trek to a nearby hill. It would be interesting he thought, to put himself out there, it would be interesting he thought to once again feel like what it would be to be vulnerable. That’s why he found himself at 6 p.m. on a Saturday night, awaiting the arrival of a bus that would perhaps take him to promised land or at least, to place far from the hustle and bustle of suburb.
The bus was quite unspectacular. Its arrival was quite difficult to be differentiated from that of the arrival of the one that was provided to Azhar from the company that he worked in. It had fresh faces. Faces that Azhar had perhaps seen in the busy streets, but had no time to notice. But these faces were carefully tucked away. Into mobile phone screens, amongst small groups that clearly had been planning to do something of this sort for a long time and were finally able to, alas with the notable exclusion of certain members who were very definitely going to be very sour about the whole matter. Azhar could see that he had almost precisely pre meditated what he would get from the whole experience. But there’s something very funny about nature. It never really lets you be precise now, does it? What’s the fun in it?
The white bus finally halted under a freshly fitted LED Street lamp. Its white colour glowed a tiny bit more. Azhar could tell that there had been significant care taken to ensure that the party left in a very clean vehicle. Content that at least a part of the money he spent on buying tickets for the trek was spent with due care, he entered the bus through the door held open by the leader of the pack. (Let’s just call him Zaveri, Azhar was not one to go around asking for names, you see. But in this case, there was a little curiosity that had built up in Azhar. How exactly does one end up being the leader? He wondered). The inside of the bus was quite the opposite to the bright white exterior. The lights were all shut to ensure that people could sleep. Azhar found it weird. If they are meant to sleep, why the hell were half of them on their phones? He wondered. Perhaps they hoped for someone to start blabbing away, perhaps they hoped for someone to start a conversation. No luck though. That was definitely not going to happen now, was it? He thought of his daily bed routine. Yeah, he did the same. He had no right judging them. Giving a sigh of relief that he had not yet fully turned into his grump parents, he tried to find himself a place to sit in the dark squinting his eyes on the way.
“Hey, would you mind if I take this one?”
“Yeah sure. Go ahead. Wait. Let me just clear my stuff.”
“Cool. Thank you.”
“Are you cold? I’ve some coffee. I think I took way more than I should have. Now I have no idea what I should be doing with all of it. Would you like to have some?”
“Well, that’s a truly generous offer. I must say. But you see, I am not a huge coffee drinker but I have heard here and there that it does tend to get in the way of a person’s sleep. I would like to get some very quickly, considering that beginning of our little trek here is scheduled for 4 in the morning tomorrow. So yeah, thanks but I don’t think having some coffee would be very good for me right now.”
“Oh yeah. Sure. I know. I understand. I just didn’t think of that angle. I’m sorry.”
It was pitch dark. Azhar couldn’t very clearly see the person he was having this conversation with. He was able to put across his point very naturally and with minimal opposition, so he felt like he might as well have been dreaming the whole time. Clarity came in the form of a sudden halt. It was another stop to board on passengers, it was another stop underneath a newly fitted LED Street lamp. The light poked in through the window. He saw who he had been talking to. It was one of the most beautiful faces he had seen in his life. Even bad lighting didn’t matter. It was eyes that had lit up. She seemed like the kind of girl who would like to post something in line with the current trend. The kind of girl people wouldn’t mind for doing that, because she genuinely looked good and comfortable while doing them and more importantly the kind of girl he could never ever dream of even having a conversation with. That’s not saying much. In fact, it was true. Every such girl Azhar had come across in his life either had the school’s football team captain / firm’s youngest partner or other hotshots snooping around them. Guys like Azhar, never stood a chance. This was perhaps his chance, perhaps even his only one.
“How much did you have?”
“Excuse me? Coffee?”, she asked removing her headphone.
“How many cups have you had?”
“Oh that! I don’t know. Three or four perhaps. Why?”
“Three or four really? Man. You’re in serious trouble. I just had an idea. If you don’t mind.”
“What is it?”
“How about, I don’t know, maybe I down a few cups too.”
“Dude, what’s your game? Are you playing mind games with me? You just said you didn’t want any, when I offered. What changed all of a sudden?”
“Oh no! nothing. Really, There’s nothing as such. I just, you know, I just felt like it would be a shame to let you be the only person awake on the entire bus. That’s all. Besides, I am beginning to feel a little cold too. So, yeah, that’s that.”
“Alright. Very convincing. You should work in the secret service, you know. Here, also pour out a cup for me.”
“Sure. Why not?”
“Thanks.”
They clinked the small metal cups together, said a little cheers.
“So ah, I am Az………..”
“Do we need that? Like, for real? Is it necessary that we should know each other’s’ names?”
“Ah, it would make things a lot more convenient, wouldn’t it?”
“Yeah, but you know what, it is one of my strange beliefs there should be fundamental change in the laws of the world. Parents should not be allowed to name their kids, I feel like. Let the kid choose its name, when it comes of age. You know.”
“Oh. Interesting. Yeah. Really. So then can we at least go by made up names?”
“Yeah sure. Why not! Let me begin. I am Josephine.”
“Oh well. Hi Josephine, Napoleon here.”
“Ha ha. Very funny. Come on man. Be original.”
“Okay okay. How about I pick a name that also will stand as a testament as to why your proposed change in law should never come to fruition?”
“Can you do that? Nah! I don’t think you can. But sure, go on. Try.”
“Okay. So, I guess I was 15 at the time I got my first smartphone. I didn’t know that mine must have a Gmail account to make it function to its fullest. But when I realized that I needed to have one, I went with [email protected]. Yeah. Classic. Like it?”
“What does it mean? Is it like, a historical reference? Or something from a movie or TV Series?”
“Yeah. TV Series actually. That’s where I got it from. But you know, it’s a bit vulgar I guess and I don’t think I should at this point in time say what it actually means. How about I tell you tomorrow? When we reach the top, I mean I would very much feel like jumping off after I tell you what it is, so that would just be so perfect, wouldn’t it?”
“Man, I must say, you really have some very terrible ideas. I thought I was weird. But you Sir, you seriously do take the cake.”
“Why do you say that? I am now more curious to know about the truth than I was earlier.”
“Well, you know, like for instance let’s just say, I have this trick up my sleeve that I use regularly, which is I ask people to tell me about the thing they are worse at. More often than not that is my first question ever to a person. I don’t know, just for fun, I guess.”
“What’s the most interesting response you have ever received for it?”
“Ah! That’s a good question and I wish I could answer that, seriously I wish I could.”
“What? You trying to play hard ball now? Come on dude! Let It rip.”
“Huh. Well, to be very frank, I am yet to pay close attention what people’s reply is. I don’t know, I just let them finish up their part, I give nods at times that I assume is appropriate, to not be rude and then, when I get the sense that they are done, I just tell them that I wished for them to actually tell me the truth and not a lie and that I am not interested in having any conversation further than that with a person who can’t be true to themselves. Yeah, something like that, I guess.”
“So, in effect, what that question actually serves as is a device for you to push people away. Am I correct in reaching at that conclusion?”
“One could say so. I won’t argue.”
“So, go on.”
“About?”
“Go on. Ask me. The same question. Let me see, if I can interest you in my answer.”
“Nah! I don’t want to do that.”
“Why?”
“Well, you know.”
She perhaps wanted to say that she didn’t intend to push him away. But something stopped her from doing so. I am not sure what that force is actually called.
“I don’t. Are you worried that you will push me away? Is that it? Oh God! Do you have like a crush on me dude? Already? Hehehheh. That’s epic shit!”
These words crept up in Azhar’s mind. He almost said them to her. Almost. Then he thought it would be better to use the following words.
“Yeah, I guess I do.”
“Really? Great! Other than that, especially when I have exhausted the same question on quite a number of people in very close proximity, there’s a backup question serving the same purpose that I go for.”
“Ah! The old trick. Backups. Very important. I know.”
“Yeah. So that question is the last words you would want to utter just before passing away.”
“Wow! Really? Dude. That’s just so sad. You go around asking this in parties?”
“Yeah. I can throw it out like whenever. You know, it’s fun.”
“No, it most definitely is not. Wow. You truly are a party pooper. You do know that right? It isn’t new information for you, I am hoping.”
“Well, let’s just say I have been called quite a few things in my time here on earth. I am pretty sure those things will forever remain here itself, even after I am gone. No big deal.”
“That actually may be true. Yeah. Good observation. You have a keen eye I suppose about matters related to death. Don’t you now?”
“I don’t know dude. It’s just something I feel like a very nuanced subject to not make an amateur interested about.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean. But I think, there’s just a little correction I would like to suggest to the question, I suppose. If I may, that is.”
“Sure. Go on. What is it?”
“Well, you know. I don’t think a great deal of people pass away in the best of shape. I don’t wish to pray that a lot more people pass away when in prime condition just for the sake that they end up having a good quote to be named after them posthumously. Hence, the following proposition. How about you ask people, what they would want their last quote to be remembered as? Instead of what actually it turns out to be. If I were you, I would in fact even as far as get these in writing from them on a piece of paper that I would hold on to and then perhaps pass the same on to their nearest kin, just so that they knew what it was.”
“Interesting. So, you are a people pleaser? Yes, you are. That’s why you had the coffee.”
“No. That’s not it. Come on! I couldn’t care less about what people thought about me. Really.”
“Okay. I’ll take your word for it. I don’t stand much of a chance otherwise, do I?”
“I don’t know about that. Look. Why do you think am I on this trek all alone? Don’t you think I would come across as a loser who doesn’t even have friends to spend his weekends with? Yeah? But here I am. I don’t care if people think like that about me. I am just fine.”
“Maybe you want to come across as someone very much comfortable in their own skin, not really wanting to show the vulnerable side, the side that actually makes you human.”
“So, if I am not vulnerable, I don’t qualify to be a human being?”
“In my eyes at least. I know it doesn’t matter what I feel or think, but I like to be around people who make me feel important. Embrace your vulnerability if you want me to like you.”
She looked into Azhar’s eyes. There was a tremendous force that they exuded, something very magnetic about those brown little spots, that could perhaps make any mere mortal lose sight of reality. They captivated, they engaged, they pierced through your skin. Her eyes were indeed the proverbial windows to the soul. Just that, they looked into the soul of the individual peeping at them, rather than at the one who called them theirs. In that sense they were more like mirrors, rather than windows, but so pretty were they that one simply gave in. Azhar did too, he never realized that just a couple of centimetres below, her lips had curled up as she eventually burst into laughter.
“Oh hello! Are you alright? I am just messing with you man. We just met. Chill. Just be yourself. Try to have fun on this trip, yeah?”
“Yeah, no, sure. Yes, I will try. Thanks.”
She snugged up close to the window, threw a blanket around her cold body and slept for the reminder of the journey. Azhar sat there, contemplating. He knew for a long time that he had faked his entire life. He craved so much for attention. He wanted to always be the talk of the room, but never had the talent to naturally be it. He did everything in his capacity from a very young age to be that. For instance, he had begun very early on to try and act startled at the slightest of happenings in the environment around him. In the beginning he did it on purpose, but a habit had sort of emerged over time. He did not understand when his very nature became that of a person who would skip a beat of his heart and endure a paralyzed state for a brief second with his head made making a sudden shock movement. How could she tell in their very first meeting that he was a faker? How did she know that he cared a whole lot about what people thought of him, but always wanted to come across as nonchalant and indifferent to their opinion, while at the same time harboring the great evils of hatred and jealousy seeped deep in his blood? He was not a bad person, far from it. But he was deep inside, amongst the worst, he thought. Had her cleavage been showing, he would definitely have found it incredibly difficult to keep his eyes off it. Even those brown magnetic eyes of hers would not have captivated him enough to let them stray away from what else was available. But he still would have made his best effort to not even as much give it a passable glance. He did not want even the remotest of his perverseness to be seen actualized. Or maybe, he was after all just another human being, overthinking matters way beyond his mental capacity.
When the bus finally stopped, Azhar gave Josephine’s arm a slight tap just near the shoulder. His intention was to wake her up, which she did. She passed on a warm smile.
“Slept well?” Azhar asked.
“Can’t complain. Remember, we are here to enjoy. No place for complaints here. That’s a rule. Yes, I like it. Can we make that a rule?”
“Like a rule for life?”
“Hehehheheheheh! Why do you go so overboard with everything dude! I meant a rule for while we are on this trek.”
“Oh! Cool. Yeah. We can definitely do it. Yes.”
“Great. Come now, get moving almost everyone else is already out and into their tents.”
They walked out, Azhar intended to help her down the stairs of the bus with an outstretched arm. She politely declined. While making their way to their respective tents, they remained perfectly silent. Azhar contemplated whether he had a made a mistake extending his arm, he could see she was polite in declining the offer, but why did she? Are they not close enough?
“Hey listen, uh, Josephine. Why?”
“What do you mean?”
“Why did you not take my arm?”
“When? Oh that! While I was stepping out? Dude, I could very easily manage on my own. I didn’t want to put you to work straight away.”
“Well, I was just being or I don’t know, I guess, trying to be chivalrous. No ill intentions.”
“I know. You would never have ill intentions. I know.”
Wait, what? Is she being sarcastic? Can she fucking see through me? Or wait, wait man, am I just so good at faking it? Has she brought into my act of being a harmless good simple man? Azhar wondered to himself, as he unzipped the opening to his tent and made himself comfortable. A few of the other members of the group, perhaps those that got a good night’s sleep in the bus, had started a bonfire and were busy roasting what seemed marshmallows. Azhar had never seen marshmallows before, nor tasted them. Perhaps, the same was true for a majority of the group as well. Maybe, it was after all just another tangible byproduct of the generation’s obsession with ideas popularized in the west. With these wild thoughts in mind, he readied himself for bed, before he could make out from the silhouette of the shadow formed on his tent’s cloth, that he had a visitor at the door. Invariably, it was her. Josephine.
“Hey, all good?”, asked Josephine.
“Yeah. No complaints.”
“Aha! You seemed to have got it! Good start, really good start.”
“Yous is the same, I believe.”
“Mine has more space. I don’t know. We’ll measure it someday. Can we talk?”
“Yeah fine. Tell me. What’s up?”
“Oh! I meant like, could we sit by the camp fire and have a little chat?”
“The fire? Yeah sure. I mean, why not? What’s topping us, right?”
“Yes. I just had a decent enough nap back when we were travelling and so, don’t particularly feel sleepy. So, I thought it would be a smart idea to get to know a new friend a tad bit better.”
“Smart, real smart. By the way, I did not even bat an eyelid on the bus.”
“Wait what? Really? Man! Shit! I feel like shit now. Go on dude, sleep, get some of it. You need to be very well recharged to get going once dawn breaks.”
“No no, it’s fine. We can have a quick little chat. I think I would like that too.”
“You sure?”
“Positive.”
“Cool.”
“But yeah, you definitely should do something about it.”
“About?”
“What? You don’t know? No one’s ever told you before?”
“What are you talking about?”
“The snoring man. The reason I couldn’t sleep.”
“Fuck off! Really!”
She tried getting hold of him, she intended to pinch his elbow. Azhar successfully managed to skip away, they had a little chase sequence, before they realized it, they had gone around the bonfire once. But more importantly for Azhar, she didn’t really mind contact it seemed. He felt relief. Don’t know why, he just did. They sat down on a vacant spot on the mat that had been laid over the green grass. A guy was busy trying to woo the pretty faces in the group by singing “Norwegian Wood”.
“Listen, did you feel bad that I didn’t take your hand?”, enquired Josephine.
“Pfffffff! Why would I feel bad. I get it. You explained yourself very eloquently. I am sorry if I made the moment awkward. I really am.”
“No no, you didn’t. I believe that chivalry as a concept itself is a bit sexist, don’t you think? I mean, yeah sure, like it shows that you care, but at what cost? At the cost of showing an individual that she’s not capable of doing some very basic tasks on her own? No, I don’t like it. It I believe again is something that people use to fake about their own self. You know, to like, project oneself as a gentleman or something. I don’t know. That’s just something, I think. Nothing else.”
“Yeah sure. I don’t agree, but that is not to say that there isn’t any truth to your argument. It’s compelling to look at it through those lenses too. It surely is.”
“Glad that we could clear the air. By the way, how did you get to know of this group?”
“Insta. I saw an advertisement nestled between the many posts that I had the intention to go through at some point in time. Once I clicked on it, I couldn’t resist, I guess. Don’t know why, I mean, I do have a life outside of work, but you know, just felt like doing something different, I guess.”
“Great. Can I tell you something?”
“Yeah, go on.”
“I thought you wouldn’t be using social media.”
“Wait, what? Why?”
“No, I mean, I don’t know, you just don’t come across as someone who would willingly succumb to peer pressure, and everyone who uses social media did start out of peer pressure. I am quite certain.”
“No no dude. I do use it and yeah, it was peer pressure in a way that got me started too, but, on the whole it was and still is a pretty, you know, decent enough experience. Won’t complain about any of it. I don’t want to stand on a superior moral ground by being someone who doesn’t use social media applications.”
“Cool. But well, I didn’t mean the superior moral ground part. I thought it would be something a person like you would do to just stand out in a crowd that will invariably have many people addicted to it.”
“Oh God! Where are you getting all this from? Like, what is it with you dude? Are you trying out some psychological bullshit or something? What is all this? You just keep throwing random shit at me. You know what, let me just get some sleep. Yeah, I think I would love to do that. See you tomorrow, I guess.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“Well, I am not upset. Being upset would lead you to believe that the theory in your fascination was actually true, won’t it? I just want to get a good night’s sleep. That’s all. And yeah, you do snore a lot.”
He paused.
“No, I don’t know. I couldn’t sleep with you there by me. I should get going. You don’t snore, I am sorry.”
With these words he rushed up on to his feet and got going, there was a tremendous bit of urgency displayed by him in getting back to his tent. He eventually did get back wondering what Josephine had exactly tried to say as he was picking himself up from the ground. He could only hear a faint whisper; he didn’t bother to turn around and give her his ear.
To say that he went on to have a good night’s sleep would be a plain and simple lie. He laid down thinking about the day he had had. He started questioning why exactly had he thought of joining this stupid trip. He started questioning his judgement, but more importantly it felt like it was his inability to understand the person that Josephine was, that hurt him the most. From the very first conversation that they had, he felt like there was something going on there, a sort of chemistry that instantly lights up skies and hearts as he had seen in countless movies and shows. At some deep level he wanted her companionship, maybe he wanted to have a love story of his own, and he didn’t care if it was riddled with clichés. He no longer wanted to be alone.
He made up his mind. He would apologize and then ask her out. Yes, he would love to do that. She’s the one, she most definitely is the one. Tomorrow’s going to be a very important day, no, today, it’s 1 in the morning, yeah, the later hours of this day is going to be very important. He didn’t even for a single second think about whether she would turn down his offer, all he doubted was himself. Could he really get himself to ask her out? Time would tell.
At 4 in the morning, Azhar heard the quiet hustle and bustle of the whole group moving around to embark on the trek. He got up, having not slept at all and ventured out. He saw that the group was fairly silent, there wasn’t much happening in terms of conversation, people just stood close to the ones they found closest to themselves, it seemed, and there he stood, all alone. His eyes wandered around, eager to catch a glimpse of her, he was desperate, even thought of calling her by her name at the top of his voice, but fortunately, he didn’t have to. He felt a tug on his sleeve and before he knew it, he no longer was alone for he felt a very beautiful head resting against his arm.
“Can we forget about last night, the last conversation we had and move on from there?”, Josephine remarked.
“It would be better if we do so.”
The trek in itself wasn’t all that challenging. There were a few hiccups here and there but on the whole the entire group managed to get to the summit in favorable condition. There were a few good picturesque points where everyone would invariably stop and start clicking images for God knows what. Azhar would much rather continue along the path laid down amongst the shrubs than stand clicking images for posting on social media, but he stood, patiently, because Josephine too was busy with photography, albeit using a Kodak Mini Shot. She was careful not to click too many photos and waited for the best possible moment to click a single image. Azhar found her patience a virtue and even congratulated her for having it. She smiled a kind smile on the observation. To this Azhar melted. He said with great effort, “When we, uh, reach the top, I want to tell you something.” They communicated all the way to the top, breathlessness owing to the physical effort meant that there was little room for words to be used as a medium, it instead was nods of the head and several million smiles that floated around. Azhar was happy.
After about an hour and a half they reached the summit and visited a temple. It was surprising quiet and peaceful although there were so many people in and around the place. Azhar realized that it isn’t the number of people that define chaos, it isn’t the number of problems that define chaos, it instead is the orderly nature in which the people concerned conduct themselves, it is the kind of impact that the problems have on the being within you. He prayed to the deity with an open heart, he asked for forgiveness for the wrongdoings he had done, he promised to be a better man, he asked for courage to ask Josephine out.
It finally was the moment of truth, people stood awaiting the sun to rise, Azhar believed that it would be the rays of the early morning sun that would enable him to open his heart up to Josephine. He waited. Josephine spoke.
“Do you want tea?”
“I wouldn’t mind it.”, said a perplexed Azhar.
“The leader’s brought some in a flask, could you go and ask him for the both of us?”
“Ahhhhh, yeah, why not? Let me try.”
“Thanks. Hurry though, otherwise you would miss the sunrise.”
“Yeah, that would be a shame, wouldn’t it?”
Why had he agreed to do her a favour like this? She isn’t his girlfriend or anything yet and still she’s managed to push him around. Is this what my life’s going to be like if I go through with my plan? These thoughts clouded Azhar’s brain as he made his way to the leader of the group.
“Hey, do you have some left? Like two cups?”
It was perhaps the first time that Azhar had caught a good look at the leader’s face. He was startled by the similarity he came across in it as against his own. The leader meanwhile didn’t even bother to meet his eyes. Monotonically he said, “No mate. We’re out. You can have some when we reach base along with breakfast that’s been arranged. Get going, or else you would miss the sunrise.”
“Okay. Sure, Thanks. What about you? Don’t you want to see it?”
This time he met Azhar’s gaze.
“Nah! I’m over it. I much rather prefer the sunset.”
Azhar blurted out a quick ‘okay’ and went on to catchup with Josephine, thinking to himself that the leader’s words were meant to advertise the evening trek that the group organized. ‘What an opportunistic bastard!’, he thought to himself.
“No tea left. We’ll have to wait till we reach base.”
“That’s a shame. Having a sip now would have been perfect.”
“Yeah, I guess. Ah! There it is.”
Azhar heard her camera click as soon as he uttered those words.
“Here, keep this with you. I hope it will remind you of the wonderful time we spent together.”, Josephine said as the golden rays of the early morning sun made her face glow much brighter than he had ever seen, making way for the pinkness of her lips to overwhelm the magnitude of her brown eyes. Azhar took a closer look at the photo she was handing out to him. It was a fairly good one of him smiling at the rising sun.
“Thanks, I guess. Quick, you should take one of the sun, shouldn’t you?”
“I am out of sheets. That was the last one. It’s alright, I am content.”
“Okay hold on, let me take a few on my phone then.”
“Yeah, go ahead.”
Azhar took a couple. Those were his first pictures on the entire trip. He couldn’t understand why he chose to take pictures of the rising sun. It was inexplicable and definitely out of character. But things got pretty clear with his further actions.
“Here, type in your username, I’ll send a follow request and then the photos.”
“I don’t use social media.”
“Wait, what? Really? Then how come you got to know about this group? But why?”
“I told you the reason already. To stand out in a room. I thought we were alike.”
“I see. But..”
“It’s okay. A friend at work told me about the group. I registered and everything through her ID.”
“Well. I am sorry. But could we like share numbers then?”
’What would you save my number as?”
“Your name dash Best Trek Partner? How does that sound?”
“Incredibly cheesy.”
“Come on now! Tell me.”
“You go first.”
“Okay. Fine. I am Azhar Salim Ravjet and you mademoiselle?”
“No no. Not that. I meant tell me what you told me you were going to tell me once we reach the summit.”
Azhar took a moment; he didn’t know what to say.
“Oh! That. Well, you know, nothing specific. It was in fact this very thing. My name. Yeah.”
“You sure? Because back then it seemed to be deeply specific.”
“I am sure, oh no wait. Yeah. I got it now. Captain58008. It was about it. 58008 upsides down on a calculator reads ‘BOOBS’. I got it from some show I don’t remember. Funny, right?”
“Yeah sure.” Josephine remarked now facing the sun for the first time. She seemed to want to take her eyes as far away from Azhar’s as possible. Azhar put his phone back in his pocket. Unexpectedly she spoke.
“Let’s not share contact information with each other, Azhar. I want to see if we cross paths again.”
“Fine with me. By the way, the view, I don’t think It’s worth the sacrifice of a good night’s sleep. Do you?”
’It’s not about the view Azhar. It’s something else. I don’t know either. Perhaps, I should see a lot more sunrises to fully understand.”
“Yeah, perhaps.”
It has only been 3 months since that day. Azhar now finds himself going on that very same trek every Sunday. He feels like he would come across Josephine one day, rationality says that a sunrise can be seen from almost anywhere on earth, but Azhar irrationally believes that Josephine wanted to see a lot more sunrises from the very spot they saw it for the first and only time, yet. He now holds a permanent membership card; next week’s trek would be his first in the capacity of a leader. He now knows some things. The terrain for example, provided it does not pour. He’s finally understood what it takes to be a leader of the group. One should just be able to fake how interesting it is to lose a night’s sleep to see the sun rise, an occurrence so regular that it literally happens daily. One should be able to fake that there isn’t any other agenda besides being in the midst of nature. But more importantly, he’s learned that he too now preferred sunsets after having seen a couple of sunrises, even a few with a cup of tea in his hand. Nothing he tried made it perfect. But a sunset on the other hand gave him an irrational hope that there wouldn’t be a sunrise ever again. This would surely force Josephine to give up on her dream of wanting to see many sunrises and maybe, just maybe, she would consider resting her head on his arm, in darkness, as the other million stars in the sky become the brightest source of light.
