Rambles of A Madman

Did you know that 38,319 people have killed themselves already, throughout the entire world? Just 14 days in. Did you know that? Did you know that they probably blew out their brains? That they hung themselves? That they probably overdosed? Did you know that? Did you know most were men? You know that? Who cares frankly? 30,000 die, 30,000 born.

Did you know about the depression crisis? Did you know of rising anxiety levels? Did you know that on average, 132 people kill themselves every day in the US alone? You know that?

Now I want to be clear, this is no manifesto, no dairy, no nothing of anything. It is exactly how it is tilted, simple Rambles of a madman. Or at least that’s what I think they’ll call me soon after I become infamous for what’s to come. Whatever that may be. It’s to come, it’ll come, if not from me then from someone else. Someone else like me. There are millions like me. Mad Men. Mad Men.

Not so long ago, I was fired as thousands are every day, then something funny happened, something you’ll probably be affected by heavily, but seeing how you are reading this, chances are you aren’t, uhh, divested by it. Me? Oh, oh, bring a chair, it’s a wondrous story. I was fucking homeless! Starving motherfucker! Nothing! I was nothing! I was below the lower class! I was at the bottom of the fucking pit! All because of some financial bubble built by banks, millionaires, and politicians, then pop it went and they got bailed out, millions back into their coffers, millions into their pockets. Despite them serving the public to an extent that can’t be served. And us? Nothing! Do you know how many died? Of course, you don’t! No one knows! No one wanted to look! Because if that number was ever discovered! Then the whole nation would be crying and whining! They aren’t stupid you know? But they think we are. We’re proving them right.

We somehow set up “artificial gods” as I say, or as Ted Kaczynski describes it “When people do not exert themselves to satisfy their physical needs they often set up artificial goals for themselves.” And his words describe us beautifully! Now, I’m not saying it is entirely the populus fault, though it is to an unknown extent, the media does also play a role in this, whether they meant to or not doesn’t matter. If a man accidentally shoots you, he still shoots you, you should probably beat his ass. The same goes for media, kinda, actually, it does so perfectly. They went out and, along with our increasing technology, everything about anyone of significance was shoved into our faces. To the relationships of stars, to the types of shoes they wear, or what car they drive. They also just love to commit character assassinations on all of them too, if one person steps an inch out of line, *boom!* He’s gone!!! Remember? Remember those messages from John Key? Remember the fact that he was 17 when he sent them? Remember how they were only exposed when he was 34? But oh look, they went in with the dagger of everyone being unable to change, and stabbed him till he died and was gone out of the light! Beautiful right? The power to choose who lives and dies? Of course, these are rich people, so… Maybe you don’t care? That’s reasonable for sure. But do you remember 2033? Those “protests” remember that one kid who protected himself by men chasing him with knives? Remember how they labeled that 16-year-old a murderer and a mass shooter? Remember that? Stand in the spotlight and you’ll be judged. SHIT! They are gods, huh? They control what we think, they control what we can say, they control who lives and who dies, sometimes literally! What? You don’t think the newspaper didn’t help radicalize this piece of shit?

Gods? Right, I was talking about artificial purpose and whatnot. They talk about morality a lot don’t they? They speak of how certain thoughts make you a truly “good” person. That if you conform to their idea of morality, it makes you more moral than your neighbor. Don’t you love election years? They make it seem as if it is one of the most important things you can do! Sometimes they call it a “fight for what’s right” or some shit like that. They put a “call to action” in their messages to the point of moderate radicalization. Christ, you remember the Rush supporters and the Kirk supporters in 35’. God, I love rewatching those videos of them screaming at each other, throwing bricks, rocks, molotovs, endangering police, and having tear gas be shot into the dense city. I do admit that Deindividuation does do something to these people’s minds. But to even have started those passionate screaming matches, which always starts as a 1 on 1, then have those screaming matches turn into full-on fucking riots and “little civil wars” just go to show the amount of political morality is infected into these people’s minds. How did this happen, artificial goals, the creation of our “New gods’ ′ Humans weren’t meant to stare at a screen all day you know? So it went out of the modern man’s soul and wandered to find meaning, a sense of purpose, a goal. What did it find? A writer’s call to action for the Rush campaign against Kirk. Then the dominoes fell.

Let our hate breed hate/ Hate the racists as much as they hate the blacks/ Guess some hate is justified/ Some hate is good/ Hate isn’t always hate/ Hate isn’t always evil/ Hate the racists for hating/ Hate yourself for hating/ Hate, hate/ Brainwash the hate/ Make it turn to good/ The good no one agrees on/ Justify the means/ By using the ends

A cute little poem, no? Wrote it when I was younger, in high school. The signs were there I guess, guess we minorities truly are neglected still. I used to believe that the American Flag did truly represent a land equal for all, treated the same, the content of the person outweighs his looks, but fuck me, no? Neo-slavery, slavery being illegal, but its practice is not, it’s laughable how we don’t make the practice of slavery illegal. Don’t you think that there might be a reason for that? Why do they allow it, in the book of the holy law, to be treated as slaves as long as we aren't called as such? But let’s not talk about the Prison Industrial complex, or how Mos Def describes it, “[The] nationwide projects, prison-industrial complex” And don’t mind the fact we have the largest prison population, with a majority being black, ain’t that something? The federal government is trying to capture its runaway slaves, ain’t it? “We cannot change anything unless we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate; it oppresses.” C. G Jung, “Modern Man in Search of a Soul” Keep that quote in mind whenever you simply say, “That’s terrible” then go on and fuck off to do something else, to look for the next thing to be angry at. But perhaps, you don’t consider it a true danger, a true monster that ravages a people, that it’s simply “socioeconomic reasons” that are to blame and not the actual, modern systems of today. Of course that is also reasonable, after all, it is natural to do something like that. Even before these American systems even first took a breath, in the words of Thomas Paine, “A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong, gives it a superficial appearance of being right…” So you don’t even know what’s evil. You don’t know if there is a monster, since you have already gotten used to the beast not attacking you. You won’t know it’s anger, and the harm it spreads, since you’ve never seen it harm you.

You know I live a life? That I exist? That I have a name and a face to me? That I have emotions and have a family. But you see me like that, nowhere close to that way. You just see me as a madman, then again I called myself that. So I don’t blame you entirely. But even if I didn’t call myself such, you’d read and think it anyway, a conspiracy theorist perhaps, but that’s reaching ain’t it? But that’s coming from my view of my own opinion. So probably not far reaching.. But all of what I have said seems so… Incoherent. For that, I apologize. I never was the brightest in school, and that quote will fuel the invincible fire that is to fall on me and the movements that are miles and somehow connected to my own opinion. They’ll probably figure out a way to use me to generalize an entire group of people with the cry of racism, sexism, or anything, never being raised in opposition.

But, whatever. You’ll ignore these short messages anyway, the firestorm of what is to come shall explode onto your faces as you binge-watch your favorite show on your 8th streaming platform which plays ads, despite you paying for it already. They’ll probably ignore everything I said and just say I was “Born evil”. That I never had a sense of morality and didn’t care for even an understanding of it. But I do. I’m not crazy. I was a reasonable man, who did reasonable things. I paid my taxes, I worked my job to my ability, I paid my mortgage, and I read the news to stay informed. I put my mom into a senior citizen home, I watched her whether and die in their care from “Unknown Causes”, I watched as that stock market bubble burst and I watched my dollar bill get smaller and smaller, going to a single dollar, to 3 quarters, 5 dimes, to whatever it was when I died. My House was repossessed, my dad got cancer, lost my job, my Dad died, and he wished to be buried next to my mom. I followed his wishes and starved because of it. Starved in my little box under a bridge near Figueroa. Till she picked me up.

“Madness is something rare in individuals — but in groups, parties, peoples, and ages, it is the rule.” Friedrich Nietzsche -” Beyond Good and Evil”

But I was infected with the bug by the city library. Most people don’t care to monitor books anymore, book covers are misleading. No one knows the thoughts of a book since they are too lazy to sit and read for the 8 hours it takes to read it. To read a “truth” that is more true, than the official “truth” I know they could’ve lied, but I know that the Government has lied. Just look toward The Pentagon Papers and Vietnam, Toward Edward Snowden and the NSA, to the Dark Alliance articles and drug traffickers, just look toward Operation Trailblazer, look to 9/11 and ’The Bombshell Memo″ Again and again, these are just cases in which the Government was exposed! Who the fuck knows is hiding. Who knows what’s hiding in those underground halls of the Federal Buildings in D.C. Who knows!? Anything of anything! ANYTHING!

Whether it’s good or bad, it is sometimes very pleasant, too, to smash things.” Dostoevsky, “Notes from Underground”

“I felt like destroying something beautiful” Movie - “Fight Club”

“What did he mean by “society”? The plural of human beings?” “He could only consider me as the living corpse of a would-be suicide, a person dead to shame, an idiot ghost.” Osamu Daza, “No Longer Human”

“Crying is for when there’s nothing else left to do.” Tommy Orange’s “There, There”