Enchanted love

"And there’s no remedy for memory, your face is like a melody. It won’t leave my head. Your soul is haunting me and telling me that everything is fine But I wish I was dead " ~ Lana Del Rey

Iris is my mother’s favorite flower and as my dad’s love for her was unconditional he named me - IRIS SMITH the single daughter of the honorable doctors who doesn’t seem to have time for me but somehow that doesn’t mean I am a brat or a depressed nerd. To me, the presence of my parents doesn’t matter that much because they were never around and to value a thing we have to lose it first but in my case, I never had them in the first place so rather I felt uncomfortable when they come around me and wants to know about my life which brings us here, in our living room with my parents sitting in front me in a way which tells me I am in trouble and my mind replays the last week of my life so that I can find something wrong in it but before my search could end my mother spoke -

" Iris how do you feel if we have to move to another place ?” she says eyeing my every reaction

" what and why ?” my voice higher than usual

" Okay first listen, me and your dad are going to work on a new project in Amsterdam and we can’t leave you here alone especially when you are in your most crucial years,” my mother says with a face that says ‘Please understand’

" When do we have to move? ” I said expressing that I understood that they couldn’t compromise

" in a week ”

“Okay Mom you don’t have to worry,” I said gracing my words with a smile

“by the way Mom tomorrow I have some work so I have to go and prepare for it ” my voice laced with eagerness to get away from this discussion.

she narrows her eyes clearly not liking my tone but still says “Okay sweetheart best of luck for tomorrow ” and I retreat into my cave I mean my room.

I walk back into my room, jump on my bed get inside my sheets, lights off, get comfortable and now I will pretend that I don’t exist till they are gone - perfect. I have recently learned that I can find my inner peace only when mom and dad are not around not because I don’t like them or anything like that but because this defect has been built in me for a long time and as a result now I only like my own space without much intrusion.

The best description of my life right now is unclear and blurry which may be explained by the several ads that pop up every minute of the day about different universities and colleges and my finger instantly swipes them in the trash intending to get rid of them because all they do is remind me about the one year gap I took from my academic years.

My train of thoughts are gone off track when my mom calls me to have my dinner, well the only thing overthinking can do good - is pass some time.

" coming mom !” I sigh as I realize I am screaming to get the least of my frustration out.

But in the last hour of my life when I was dining with my family I learned a life lesson - never to scream at a mom not just mine but any mom.

A mom can be scary.

The days passed faster than I anticipated as if I blinked and one week was over. All the time was taken up by packing stuff and buying stuff and it was hectic. The only thing I can remember from the last week was me exhausted in bed out like a tube light but it was all worth it when I marked all the items which was on my list. Our old neighborhood was always quiet and compared to that this new neighborhood felt like the constant cry of a newborn baby, the only difference was that in this case, the newborns were me and my family. Mom and Dad didn’t do much work they were busy working on the new project that they were going to start hence I had to meet a bunch of random strangers and offer them a smile and introduce myself as their friendly new neighbor - a perfect mask that I have mastered after meeting my parent’s important clients and other random creeps.

As I look outside my window I notice that the sun has set and the moon is shining brighter than the street lights and decide to walk to the store to get some midnight snacks so that I can finally relax in my bed after the endless loop of shifting and enjoy the new episode of Attack on Titan.

I was almost done with my shopping when I heard a little girl screaming down the street and my feet seemed to move towards it without my permission. As I get closer to the sound I find a huge guy picking up a girl who’s age may be 10 years old.

Everything happened so fast that I couldn’t comprehend what I had just done because the huge guy who was holding the girl in his arms only 30 seconds ago was now lying on the ground holding his crotch where my flying kick had landed and before this huge guy could get up, I move fast to hold the hand of the girl and run away but much to my disarray she starts screaming at me which I rather find shocking because you little girl I have just saved your life but these thoughts come at a halt when she pushes me too and screams on my face.

" what are you doing to my brother !”

" oh my god, Alex are you fine? ” she runs to the huge guy who is apparent,ly his brother who is trying to stand on his feet again and I am standing here staring down at them with a face that indicates my thoughts that says - what is happening here?

The huge guy quickly recovers from my kick gets back on his feet and starts walking towards me with a calm expression while the not-so-little girl is calling someone then my mind tells me to do the stupidest thing which is to take a deep breath and shift my body in the opposite direction and run and I am even more stupid as I do as I am asked to and run for my life.

‘ahh! Why do I always need to put myself in trouble? can’t I just make one day easy for myself’

These praises instantly come to my mind when I am still trying to process that I kicked a huge guy because I thought he was going to kidnap his sister.

“wait up! ”

a voice could be heard from the back that I assume belongs to the huge guy but as if my legs have a mind of their own and I just feel myself speed up. As I feel exhausted after running worth a lifetime my legs give up and I look around and sigh as there is no one on the site.

I let myself lay in the middle of the road and a chuckle escapes my mouth as I look back at what I have done. I almost choked on my breath while laughing but I didn’t stop because the way I am feeling right now is something I begged to feel for months. All I wanted was to smile which was so hard that sometimes I would even feel I look ugly smiling.

As my eyes move to the most shining object in the sky I realize that it has been so long since I have looked at the moon in a way that was not suffocating I could see how bright it was, how it gave the whole sky its courage and just lights up the sky in a way that even sun couldn’t. I feel alive.

I close my eyes when I feel a soft and warm breeze touching my face and as if it says hello when I lift my hand in a way to catch it but as all beautiful things have their wings the wind too goes through my hand but this time I don’t chase after it and let it go just like I have done to every other beautiful thing in my life whether it may be friendship, relationships or him.

but was it beautiful?

That question was enough to make me realize my reality but there was a twist in that as the huge guy and his little sister staring right at me.

SHIT!