Chapter 1
Leandre
The letter was a shock, though maybe it shouldn't have been. I recognized Claire's handwriting immediately. I wasn't sure I wanted to read it. Claire had always been a bit of a drama queen, and even in death, she seemed determined to keep the drama alive. I shoved the letter into my bag and headed to school, where I saw a reporter from a major news organization, Exposure Media talking to the principal. Our eyes met, and he gave me a look that said he was coming for me. I could feel my heart racing, and I knew this was only the beginning. My classmates' eyes were piercing as I sat in class, it was as if they knew what was in the letter. Every tick of the clock felt like an eternity. My two besties were talking about Claire's death (everyone was) as we sat on our usual spot during break. "Even though she was a b, she didn't deserve to die like that," Leah said, as if we'd asked her opinion. "The reporter from Exposure Media doesn't think it was a suicide," said my other bestie, Emma. David Miller, the reporter, is a formidable opponent, always determined to get to the bottom of the story, even if it means stepping on a few toes. He's intelligent and professional, never afraid to ask difficult questions. He even solved the mystery of the serial killer who had been targeting men for eight months, something the police couldn't do. Turned out it was a man who had been insecure about himself and killing other men made him feel apparently 'better'. Emma kept going on and on about the reporter, how impressive he was and how glad she was that he was working on this case. But I had to admit, I was starting to get a little bit annoyed by how much they were talking about it. "I know it's sad, but can we not talk about it?" I half rolled my eyes.
My boyfriend walked me home afterschool, it wasn't far from school. I listened to the beat of my heart, its rhythm matching the sound of our footsteps on the pavement. "Are you okay?" Matty asked, leaning in close. "You've been quiet this whole time." He sounded genuinely concerned. "Yeah, I'm okay. It's just this whole Claire thing is really draining me. I just want it to be over so we can get on with our lives." That came out wrong. "I don't mean I want to forget about Claire, just that.... I want the investigation to be over so everyone can move on." I justified "I know what you mean, we will get through it okay? " Matty said, and he put his arm around my shoulders. He gave me a smile, and I felt a little bit better. Matty might not have always said the right thing, but he was always there for me when I needed him.
When I got home, the house was filled with the acrid smell of cigarette smoke. It was a scent I hated most, but one I was used to. My mom would chain-smoke all day, without any regard for how the smoke might affect the rest of us. I hurried to my room, desperate for a breath of fresh air. I took the letter from my bag and read it once again, my heart pounding
Leandre, do you remember the night you took me to that party? I was so scared and nervous, but you told me not to worry. You said I'd have a good time. You introduced me to your friends, and I tried to put my fears aside. But then I met Oliver, sweet Oliver and everything changed. I don't remember what happened after that, but when I woke up I knew something had gone terribly wrong. When I went to school the next day, everyone was whispering and staring at me. It was like I was a pariah, an outcast.
When I walked into class, I felt like the whole room was against me. People I'd known for years were turning their backs on me. It was like I'd suddenly become a different person, someone they couldn't recognize. But I knew the truth: something had happened that night, something I couldn't remember. And it was tearing my life apart. I tried to keep going, but it was like I was trapped in a nightmare. I just wanted to wake up and make it all go away.
For weeks, I was the target of cruel remarks from the boys at school. I couldn't focus on my schoolwork, and the thought of what had happened to me was too much to bear. I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror without feeling a deep sense of shame. My whole world had been turned upside down, and I didn't know how to get back to who I used to be. The person I saw reflected in the mirror was a stranger to me, and I felt like I was trapped in a nightmare that I couldn't wake up from. You destroy my life Leandre, I have no reason to go on anymore. You left me shattered and broken.
