Out

Out.

Book 1

By Maddie May

Finally, Middle school is done and over with. 8th grade was pure hell. Fake friends, bad grades, annoying teachers, you get it. Ever since I started 6th grade, I was counting down the days until high school.

Once I was greeted with the campus doors I saw a familiar face next to me. It was Taylor Green. She was a grade above me, but I remember her from summer camp. I forgot that she went there. She wasn’t like the people from middle school though, she wasn’t nice but she wasn’t mean.

“Isn’t it your first year here, Samuel?” She asked. I hated it when people called me by my full name. Samuel Stevens.

“For god’s sake, just call me Sam.” I said while walking into the building. I looked around trying to find more familiar faces but I couldn’t really. Most of my middle school went to Foothill. I looked over to the tables to find Gregory. I used to be best friends with him in 7th grade, but after everything that happened last year we kind of just faded apart. I looked at him and then he looked at me. Only for a second though before going back and talking to his friends. I could tell that he didn’t want me to be there.

I looked around the school some more before the bell rang for 1st period. I had science first period in room 602. I looked around before finding a set of double doors that had the numbers 600-630 printed above it. I walked into the hallway to be pushed and shoved by people rushing to their classes. I looked at a door that had the number 602 printed next to it and rushed inside before the bell had rung.

I looked at everyone in the classroom and noticed that they were all standing against the walls of the room as the teacher was shouting names from her list and pointing at chairs. I looked at the people in the room and didn’t recognise anyone. I looked at the guy next to me and waved. It was my goal to have the best impression for a new school.

“Hi.” I said while giving the guy next to me a wave.

“Hi. I’m so nervous.” The guy said.

“Why?” I asked, intrigued.

“Well, I failed last semester so I have to retake this course. This teacher hates me.” The guy said with dread filling in his eyes. I could tell that he was definitely scared.

“Don’t worry about it, she’s probably not going to recognize you.” I said.

“Maxwell Thomas!” The teacher said more aggressively while pointing to a chair near the back.

“See you around.” The guy said before making his way to his chair. I don’t know what it was but something about him just stood out to me. Not in a bad way, in a good way. A great way. I felt a little sad when he went to sit so far away.

“Samuel Stevens! Right here next to Maxwell!” The teacher said, I felt delight fill me. I went over to Maxwell.

“So you’re Samuel?” He asked

“I go by Sam. I hate Samuel. So you’re Maxwell?” I said

“God I hate that name. Just call me Max.” Max said

“So your in 10th grade?” i asked

“Yeah. I hate school more than anything. I’m only here for the sports.” He said

“And not for friends? That’s so sad!” I said, teasing him

“Well I don’t have a lot of friends.” He said

“Really, Me neither.” I said

“Well then consider us friends.” He said while sticking out his hand in friendship. I shook it proudly.

“Boys! Do I already have to separate you!?” The teacher yelled. We both shook our heads nervously before starting our work. I couldn’t help just glancing over at him the entire time. Soon enough the bell rang for 2nd period. I grabbed my things and walked out of the room. Max caught up behind me and tapped my shoulder.

“Where are you walking to?” He asked

“I got math next with Mr. Vargas.” I said.

“I had him last year, he’s a total bitch. Here, I’ll walk you there.” He said.

“So you said you just come here for the sports, which ones do you do?” I asked.

“Well, I’m mostly interested in soccer but I think this year I’m gonna go out of my comfort zone and do swimming.” He said

“Really? I love swimming.” I said.

“We should totally both try out swimming together! Try outs are in a month” he said excitedly.

“Yes. Well I gotta go. See you around.” I said. Saying his phrase made him smile. He waved and then went off to his next class.

I don’t know what I’m feeling but I just feel so different when I’m with him. I feel happier. I walked into the classroom and saw Gregory. I put in my AirPods and Played Paramore. I remember that was the only band we listened to in 7th grade. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. He just kept staring at me. It was weird. My head echoed with possible reasons. Did he hate me that much? Did he want to be friends again? Are we going to be friends? Does he like me? I couldn’t tell which one was true. Once the bell rang the teacher went straight away to assigned seats.

“Skylar Smith, Lilly Cantos, Henry Rodriguez, Greggory Martinez, Samuel Stevens.” He said. We were sitting right next to each other. He looked at me and then I looked at him as we both took our seats.

“This is awkward.” I said, trying to start some kind of conversation. He just looked at me and then pulled out his sketchbook. I remember he always used to love to draw. I didn’t know he still did. I looked at his sketches. They mostly consisted of people that he sees . I saw a drawing of me on one of the pages. It was a sketch from 8th grade. It was me on a bench, crying. I remembered that moment. It was when My heart had broken in half. I had lost one of my friends, well ‘fake’ friends. I thought that in 8th grade Greggor just never paid any attention to me. He was always busy with his new friends. Well, I can’t be mad at him for that. I did the same thing to him.

“I don’t have any sort of lesson plan for today so I’ll just call it a free day.” the teacher said. Greggory still stayed there and continued his art.

“I-I’m sorry.” I said, not knowing what to say. I just wanted to talk to him.

“For what?” He said, not looking away from his paper.

“I don’t know. Being a terrible friend? Being an Asshole? Being just stuck up.” I said.

“That’s not all you did. You ignored me when I needed you most. My mom died last year and you didn’t even bother to ask me if I was alright.” he said. He looked up from his paper, giving me a look.

“W-What? Sh-She died? I’m so, so sorry.” I said, trying not to cry. Whenever I went over to his house his mother was always there. She was so kind and I had grown close with her. I couldn’t believe that I didn;t Know this. I was so sorry. I couldn’t put it into words.

“I can’t accept your apology right away. Just leave me alone until I do.” He said, looking back at his paper. I didn’t blame him. I was being a terrible friend. I just put my head in my hands and daydreamed for the rest of class. I mostly thought about Max. Just something about him spoke to me. I couldn’t tell if he was a friend that I really wanted to have or I liked him.

Soon enough the bell rang for the third period. I was still lost in my thoughts as I was packing up my things. Once I walked out of the classroom I was greeted with a familiar voice.

“Sam!” I heard the voice say. I looked back and it was Kevin. Kevin was one of my fake friends from 8th grade. He said that he was going to a high school in Arizona. What did I expect, he was fake, untrustworthy and annoying.

“Hi Kevin.” I said, trying not to get angry. I told myself that I wanted nothing to do with him when I left 8th grade.

“Surprised to see me?” He asked, Expecting me to be happy.

“No.” I said out of frustration.

“Okay, I didn’t realize I was that annoying. I came to this school just so I could be with you. I guess I made the wrong choice.” Kevin said before storming off. I had band next. It was on the other end of the school so I had to hurry. I made it just as the bell rang.

“You’re really good at being late.” A voice said. I looked over to find Max.

“Oh, hey!” I said.

“You have a band?” He asked.

“Yeah. I wish I did art or something. My parents wanted me to do this.” I said

“That sucks. You should always do what you want to do and not be forced to do something.” Max said with a light smile.

“Good morning class,” The teacher said. She was a lot nicer than the other teachers I have met today. “I’m gonna let you choose your seats but keep in mind if you abuse this privilege I will go through with disciplinary action.”

“Wanna sit together?” Maz asked. I nodded before taking a seat in the closest seat that I can find. Max went to the seat closest to me.

“So what do you play?” He asked.

“I try to pretend that I’m good at guitar but I’m really not.” I said

“I bet you’re really good. I play drums. It’s a pretty way to get out my anger.” Max said.

“I should pick it up sometime. I can’t take out my anger by playing guitar, I would break a string” I said. It made Max laugh. I smiled. He looked so cute smiling. No, Sam. Snap you of it. Why are you crushing on him? You are a straight man. The things people would say if you were gay. Am I gay? Do I like men? Is it just Max who I like? What Are these heterosexual feelings?

“So do you wanna hang out sometime?” He asked.

“Uh, sure.” I said with a smile. Then I thought, what would my parents think If I was gay? Would they accept me? Am I even gay?

“Okay class!” the teacher began. “I hope you like your seats. We will be choosing which instrument you would like to play for the next four months. In four months I will have a private meeting with each of you and your parents to see if you want to change your instrument, stay with the same, change your elective, etcetera.” The teacher said,

“Now I will go through the list, you will go to the back room with me and choose your instrument with me.” The teacher said, “Now, may I have Jayden Apple?”

Jaden walked to the back room with the teacher as the rest of the class turned to their neighbor to talk. I looked over to Max to see that he was on his phone.

“Since we’re going to hang out, we should exchange numbers.” I said.

“True True.” He said, pulling up his phone app. He handed it to me to put my number in. Typed it in and customized my contact. When I got to the name I typed in my name and chose a flower emoji to go next to it. I went to the camera to take a picture. I took a photo of both of us for my contact picture.

“That’s cute.” He said with his same slight mile that he always seemed to have. He took his phone back and sent me the picture. I reached for my phone and opened the phone app for him to put his contact in. He put his name as Maxie and put a blue, then purple, and then pink heart all together. That’s the bisexual flag I thought. Then he went to the camera and did a picture of him from the bottom of his chin.

“Thanks.” I said. I smiled at my phone

“No problem.” He said with his smile.

“Samuel Stevens?” The teacher said, Damn it!

“Coming.” I said as I went ot the back room.

“Hey, Sam!” Max said before I went to the room. “Choose something good!” He said. I nodded with a smile and then made my way to the room. I went inside, it was a room with all black walls. And white lockers filling the walls. There were a couple of posters on the wall showing a wide variety of different instruments.

“So what are you interested in Sammy?” The teacher asked

“I don’t really know. Maybe guitar?” i said

“You don’t sound so sure about that. Are you sure that’s what you want to do?” the teacher asked me. He was right, I didn’t want to do guitar. That’s what my parents want me to do. I wanted to play the violin.

“You’re right. I’m not really sure. I mean, I know how to play guitar and everything, it’s just what my parents want me to do. I want to be a violinist.” I said.

“Then you can be a violinist.” He said while handing me a case. I opened it to find a beautiful white violin. I had never seen a white one before, but it was beautiful.

“Now Sam, Can I call you that?” He asked. I nodded. “Okay. This is an electric violin. You mentioned that you play guitar, you know how you plug that into a speaker? You can do that with this as well.” The teacher said, I was intrigued. I took it and smiled at the teacher. It had always been my dream to play violin, to be one of the best violets of all time.

“Thant you.” I said

“You are very welcome Sam.” he said while going back out ans shouting the next name.

“That doesn’t look like a guitar.” Max said with a smile.

“Yeah, it’s a violin. I’ve really always wanted to play it, just.. My parents want me to play guitar.” I said

“Wow, that’s so cool! You could like, play both of them!” He said.

“Which one are you gonna choose?” I asked him

“I’m thinking about drums but at the same time I kinda want to try something new like you. You know what, I’m gonna play the guitar!” He said excitedly.

“I could help you.” I offered.

“That sounds like a great idea.” He said.

“So, I gotta ask you- why are you in the beginning band?” I said

“Well, umm-” He was cut off by the teacher, “May I have Maxwell Thomas?” he asked

“I guess that’s me. Wish me luck.” He said before getting up.

“Choose what your heart tells you!” I said before he walked off into the classroom. That line sounded like something out of a cringy Disney movie. The entire time that he was gone I thought about one thing and one thing only, Max. His dreamy hazel eyes and his caramel brown hair. It was styled into a curly style above his head. I don’t know how he didn’t feel embarrassed around me. I looked so cringy with my dark brown hair, straighter than straight with my nerdy glasses. Once he came back he was carrying a guitar on his back with the largest smile on his face.

“So you went with guitar?” I asked

“Yeah. I’m kinda excited to start! I just know nothing about guitars so I’ll need some help.” He said.

“Well you know you can just send me a text to go and help you.” I said

“Will do.” He said with his adorable smile. Soon after that the bell rang for lunch. Since Max was in 10th grade he didn’t have lunch at the same time as I did.

“I’ll see you around Sammy.” He said with his little wave that he always did. I smiled at what he called me. No one had ever called me that before, it was adorable.

Once I got out of the classroom I was in the middle of the courtyard. I didn’t quite know where the lunch room was until I saw a line forming outside a building. I walked over to the line. It seemed as if everyone had already met new friends, and I was still alone. I mean I did meet Max but he didn’t really count because he is in 10th grade. I heard some loud noises behind me, and then some snickering. I looked behind me to find Kevin, Yasmin, Riley and Amir. Those were all of the fake friends that I had met last year. They had made me hate myself. They pressured me to do thing I’m not proud of. I just put my past behind me and put on a smile as I walked into the lunch room. I took a seat at the middle table, hoping that i would find some sort of a friend. There was a boy with glasses that seemed to be way too big for his small face, a girl with the most beautiful red hair, A boy with a middle part, putting his arm around a girl with long curly brown hair.

“Hi,” I said to the boy with the glasses. “I’m Sam.” I said

“Felix.” He said. He reached out his hand and I shook it. “Where did you go last year?” He asked

“Riverside.” I said. “How about you?” I asked

“I went to Riverside too! I don’t know why I didn’t see you though.” He said

“I don’t know, I barely came to school, and my hair was a lot shorter, and I had braces.” I said. The list could go on but I didn’t want to weird out Felix by how many things I could name about myself that I hated.

“Oh wait, now I know you. Samuel Stevens, Right?” He asked.

“Yep, that’s me.” I said nervously, I hope that he doesn’t know about me from last year.

“You were in my science class last year I think.” He said

“Mr. Mack 3rd period right?” I asked

“Yep, that was me!” He said. “Well let me introduce you to the rest of the group.” He said. “Over there we have Allison,” he said, pointing to the girl with red hair. She waved back with a beautiful smile. “Next we got Emmett,” He said while pointing to the guy with the middle part. “Lastly there’s Camilla.” He said pointing to the girl with the long brown hair. “And guys, this is Sam. Samuel Stevens.” He said to the group. I didn’t quite know what to do. I just smiled my awkward smile and waved.

“What school did you go to, Sam?” Allison asked.

“I went to Riverside.” I said. Hopefully none of them knew me front here.

“No way, so did all of us!” She said, “What was your schedule? Do you still remember it?” She asked me.

“I remember 1st I had English, then I had History, then Science, then band, then math and then choir.” I said.

“I had choir 7th period too,” Camilla said. “Who was your teacher?” She asked. “Ms. Reynolds.” I said.

“Oh, damn. That sucked for you. I had Mr. Tucker.” she said before resting her head on Emmett.

“What’s your schedule now?” Emmett asked me.

“I got Science first, 2nd Math, 3rd Band, 4th English, 5th Choir, 6th PE, 7th History.” I said.

“No way, we all have 7th period history!” Allison said.

“That’s cool.” I said with a smile.

I hoped that Max had that class too. Soon enough, the bell rang and I made my way to english. English had never been one of my favorite subjects, in fact I hated it. I always go to the wrong teacher at the wrong time. I knew that Max wouldn’t be in that class since he had lunch right now. I made my way to Ms. Wellsburg’s English class and I was greeted with Greggor once more. He glared at me and then put his attention back into his sketchbook. I wanted to tell him about Max and all his new friends but even if I did tell him, he wouldn’t care.

“Good afternoon class. I’m going to have you sit wherever you want for now, and then next week I’m going to have assigned seats.” She said, “I thought it would be a wonderful idea that after you take your seats, we would get to know a little bit about each other by passing around a ball.” Everyone took their seats. I tried to sit next to Greggory but he just ignored my attempt and sat farther away. He sat in the back, lost in his art with his music playing so loud that I can hear it from across the room. He was listening to Misery Business by Paramore. That one was always our favorite song to listen to together back in 7th grade. I remember that Greggory had a trampoline in his backyard and we would always make weird and funny dances to that song.

“Okay, I am going to give the ball to one of you guys and you have to say your name, your favorite color and something that you would want the class to know about you. Once you’re done with that you’re going to say who you’re going to throw the ball to and toss it to them and just repeat.” The teacher said, She gave the ball to the closest student to her desk.

“Hi, I’m Leah Jane. My favorite color is black and…. I do gymnastics.” She said before choosing another kid to toss the ball to. This kept going on for a little while before Greggory was chosen.

“Um, I’m Greggory. My favorite color is green and… I like to draw.” Gregory said before sighing my name and tossed the ball to me.

“Oh! Hi, I’m Sam and My favorite color is blue and something cool about me is that I can play guitar.” I said nervously. I tossed the ball to the closest person I could find and the game went on.

***

Now it was 7th period. I walked into the History class, Immediately seeing Felix, Emmet, Camila and Allison. They signaled me to sit where they were sitting so I went, until I saw Max walk in.

“Hi Mr. Hawkins!” He said excitedly. Mr. Hawkins just gave him a look and went back to looking for a paper. Max went to the seat that was closest to the door. I took out my phone to text him.

Hi

Hi, What class are you in?

I’m in AP History with Mr. Hawkins rn

No way! Same man. Where are you?

Front Corner. I’m with my friends.

Max Looked over from his seat to see me talking to my friends. He smiled but stayed where he was. Soon the bell rang and Mr. Hawkins told us all to take our seats. Like most of the teachers that I had met today, he didn’t make us sit in assigned seats on the first day. I just stayed where I was with Felix on my right and Allison on my left with Emmett and Camilla behind us. The teacher announced that today will be a get-to-know-each-other type of period. I just sat where I was and talked to Allison.

“Im so tired” Allison said

“Same. I can’t believe that school starts at 6 am.” I said.

“So, I barely know anything about you. What do you do for fun?” She said

“That was such a basic question.” I said while bursting out laughing.

“No seriously! What are you into?” She said,

“Sometimes I draw, Sometimes I read. I play the guitar a lot but I’m not really too much into it.” I said.

“That’s literally me singing. My parents want me to be the next Beyonce but I just want to write. Writing is my life.” Allison said while tucking her long thick red hair behind her ear.

“You sing? That’s so cool! I wish I could.” I said, admiring Allison’s beauty.

“Yeah. Me Emmett, Camilla and Felix all met in Choir last year. We’ve all been best friends till today.” Allison said

“That’s so cool. Last year was… Well lets just say that last year wasn’t good. I remember in 7th grade me and my best friend- Ex best friend used to hang out all the time. I would make songs on my guitar and he would sing them. We were like a little band.” I said

“That sounds so fun. Does he go here?” Allison asked

“Yeah. He’s in my 2nd and 4th period. His name is Greggory Millers.” I said.

“Oh I had Algebra with him last year. He was pretty good at singing. But wasn’t he in Theater and Art?” She asked.

“Yeah. He likes singing but he doesn’t like showing it off. He thinks that other people wouldn’t like it.″ I said.

“I’m sure they would. If you don’t mind me asking, why aren’t you guys friends anymore?” Allison asked

“Well… It has to do with what happened in 8th grade. I was just hanging out with my new friends and Greggory could tell that they were fake before I could. He tried telling me but I just brushed him off. And with us not being friends,” I felt my face well up. “I missed out on a lot of things.” I said. I couldn’t say exactly what I missed or I would break out into tears, so I just kept it simple.

“Oh… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to overwhelm you.” Allison said. She was always so kind and put her feelings before anyone. I felt my phone buss in my pocket so I took it out and saw that i had a message from Max.

Hey, you good? I look a little down

Over there.

Yeah, I’m fine. I just remembered

Something sad.

You sure?

Positive.

Alright. If you ever need anything

Just text me.

I will. Thanks

Np

My heart fluttered at the message. I just met him today and he cares about me so much. He really is a nice person. Soon enough the bell rang to go home. I put my things in my bag and walked out. I felt someone grab my backpack, I turned around to see Felix and the rest of the group.

“You live on Jerome Road right?” Emmett asked

“Uhh, yeah. Why?” I asked.

“I live there too. We can walk together if you want.” Emmett said.

“Sure.” I said. I was excited that I lived in the same neighborhood with one of my next friends.

“So are you dating Camilla?” I asked, stupidly.

“Yeah. We’ve been dating for about a year.” Emmett said. “Do you like anyone?” He asked me . I couldn’t answer that. What would he think if I said that I liked Max. I just made up something on the spot.

“I mean, I kinda like Allison. She’s really pretty and nice.” I said. I mean I wasn’t completely wrong. She was really nice and really pretty. Wait, Did I like Allison now? What is this!? I like Max and now I like Allison.

“Yeah she’s nice. Just know that it’s hard to get her to like-like you. It took her last boyfriend two months for her to like him.” He said.

“Really? Well I don’t know If I actually like-like her yet. I’m just saying that she’s pretty and nice.” I said.

“Yeah. I feel bad for Felix though. He hasn’t met anyone since I met him. Every Time I tried to bring it up to him he just tries to change the subject.” Emmett said

“You know he could be Asexual.” I said

“Sorry, What’s that again?” He asked

“It’s where you’re not interested in dating or liking anyone.” I said.

“That’s A good point. “ He said.

“So where do you live?” I asked as we were almost to the neighborhood.

’Just up in the front.” He said.

“I live in the middle.” I said

“Where the mansions are?”

“Well they aren’t really.” I said.

“Well there better than the other houses in the neighborhood” He said

“True.” I said.

“We should throw a party there sometime. That would be so much fun” He said

“My parents would never let me” I said

“Maybe they’ll change their mind. You never know.” He said.

“True. Well I gotta go. See you later.” I said.

“See you.” He said as he went into his house.

I walked down the street to my hose. I now had a friend group and two crushes, all in the same day. I just hoped that Greggory would befriend me again. I don’t know what I would do without him. I want to tell him about everything that happened today but I know that he wouldn’t listen. Even if he did accept my apology, everything wouldn’t go back to normal. Things would still be different. We both changed so much over the past year.

Not to Mention that Kevin, Yasmin, Riley and Amir. I Just hoped that they would just leave me alone. I told them to stop talking to me at the end of last year, they said that they would. I just hoped that they kept that promise. Chances are that they are not going to but all you can do is hope, am I right?

***

I woke up this morning around 5 am. I had a stomach ache but that didn’t bother me, I was going to see Max today! Before I got out of bed I reached for my phone which seemed to have a couple of missed messages. One was from Felix and two were from Max. I had one from Emmett and one from Greggory too. I looked at the first one from Felix, it read “Hey, wanna meet in front of the school today?” I responded with a quick sure and then hopped over to what Max said. “I saw you hanging with that little friend group and I gotta tell you something about one of them.” The next message he said “Felix is my brother.” I just read that in shock and tried to imagine both of their faces in my head. I mean they sort of looked alike. They sort of had the same face shape and the same colored hair. I responded by saying “Your french?” And then I went to the next message. Emmit said that he would be over at my house around 6 to walk to school together and Greggory said that he accepts my apology. My heart felt warm that he finally accepted it.

I looked at the time and it was almost 6. I got dressed and ate as quickly as I could and ran out the door to see Emmett waiting for me.

“Finally, that took you forever.” Emmett said

“Sorry about that. Felix said that he’s gonna meet us in front of the school.” I said

“You’re good.” He said before reaching in his back pocket for his phone.

It was a pretty quiet walk until we got to the school. There were a lot of people around the school and walking in but eventually me and Emmett finally found Felix with Allison and Camilla. Emmett ran over to Camilla and hugged her and then they kissed. I smiled at the adorable sight.

“So Sam,” Allison said. “You and Emmett live in the same neighborhood?” She asked

“Sam lives in one of the big houses!” Emmett said

“It’s not that big” I said

“I thought Emmett’s house was big.” Camilla said.

“Well the bell’s gonna ring soon. Let’s go to class before we’re late.” Felix said. My heart almost skipped a beat as I walked into the school. The first face that I saw was Max.

“Hey Sammy.” He said as he was walking by us.

“Go away Max. Leave me and my friends alone.” Felix said while pushing Max away.

“”I’m just saying hi to my friend.” Max said

“You can say hi to him during 1st period. Right now it is the one time we get to hang out until lunch.” Felix said while walking off with the rest of the group.

“Felix hates his brother.” Allison whispered to me.

“I could tell.” I whispered back. We were near the back of the school by now and My class was a little bit near the front.

“Umm, I gotta go to class.” I said.

“Oh shit, I forgot you don’t have the same 1st period as us. We’ll see you later.” Felix said.

“Alright. See you.” I said as I waved and walked off to class. As I was walking by I saw Greggory. I waved but he just glared at me. I thought everything between us was good. Why is he acting this way? I just rubbed off my thoughts and went to first period. Once I walked in I went to my seat to see Max.

“Sorry my brother is so annoying.” He said

“It’s fine. He really seems like he doesn’t like you.” I said

“I know he doesn’t. I do though. He just doesn’t Appreciate it.” He said

“I’m sorry.” I said

“For what?” He said

“For your brother who isn’t appreciating how great you are.” I said

“You have nothing to be sorry about. He’s just being a bitch.” He said. I smiled as I got out my notes for class.

“So, Sammy. What’s your Sexuallity?” He asked me. This question shocked me. I didn’t know how to respond. I was attracted to two different people with two different genders.

“I-I don’t really know. I mean all my life I thought I was straight until recently. I don’t really know what I am.” I said

“That’s okay. I’m Bi. Do you like someone?” He asked me. That statement made me get goosebumps.

“Y-yeah. I like this one girl in my friend group.” I said.

“Camilla and Emmett are inseparable. So you don’t have a chance with her.” He said.

“I like Allison.” I said. I regretted saying that. Why did I tell him that? Why didn’t I tell him I liked him? WHY DID I SAY THAT?

“Allison? You do know that she’s a lesbian right?” He said. How did he know so much about my friend group?

“Really? I would have never known.” I said

“She’s single though.” Max said, sounding emotionless

“Oh. How do you know so much about them?” I asked.

“I’m friends with all of them and Felix has them over all the time and I’m right nextdoor to them.” Max said. “They’re great friends. You chose the right group.” He said. I smiled

“Good. I wasn’t looking forward to finding a whole new group.” I laughed.

“Back to what we were saying about your sexuality. Are you into girls? Boys? Trans people?” He asked.

“Pretty much everything I think. I don’t really know.” I said

“You’re probably Pansexual. Not definite but most likely. You should do some research about that.” He said. It was so weird that he was having this conversation with me. I wasn’t used to talking about that with anyone, certainly not my crush.

Soon enough the bell rang and it was time to go to second period. For some reason I was dreading seeing Greggory. Normally I would be excited but I just was scared after he gave me that glare in the hallway. I packed up my things and headed off to class. I put in my headphones and shuffled My Chemical Romance. I listened to them when I didn’t know what tot hink. I was so confused. About my sexuality, about my friends, about Max. I didn’t know what to think or do. I just made it into class when I felt someone kick the back of my bag. I turned around to see Amir. I hate to admit it but me and Amir used to be the best of friends. I don’t know how we were but we were. That was a time in my life that I wouldn’t mind forgetting.

“Hey bitch! My schedule got changed so now I’m in your class.” My stomach sank. I didn;t want to even be in a 6-mile radius of them. I just rolled my eyes and made my way to my seat. Greggory was already there. I said hi but i don’t think he heard me. I could hear his music through his headphones. He had Still into You by Paramore on full volume. That one was his least favorite back in 7th grade. I mean, people change. Sometimes for the better.

“Hi, Um Teacher?” Amir began. Their attitude made my blood boil. I hated the way they talked to people. It was so rude and disrespectful. “I’m new. Well, Obviously I’m new because I’m a freshman, but like, I’m new to this class. My schedule got changed.” they said

“Who are you talking to? Me or someone in the class? Either way, the way that you are talking is extremely disrespectful. I don’t know how you talk to anyone like that.” The teacher said,

“Are you insulting me? That’s against the law. You could get arrested for that.” Amir went on with their little speech about insults. For some reason they always had a reason for someone giving them a taste of their own medicine.

“Mikayla Smith? Go to the office.” The teacher said Amir sat there in shock. They had never been called by their dead name in so long.

“Now that’s another insult! My name is Amir! And I am not a ‘her’ I am a them!” Amir yelled. Why were they causing a scene, this was so embarrassing. I just wanted to put my head down and die. I was getting serious second hand embarrassment. Amir had to get escorted out and by then it was near the end of class by then.

“Your friends are weird.” Greggory said to me.

“Their not my friend.” I said

“They sounded like one of your friends.” Greggory said

“I don’t want to be friends with them, they want to be friends with me.” I said.

“Just say that I don’t want to be friends with you,” Greggory said.

“I did but they won’t stop bothering me.” I said

“If I ever see them bothering you I will beat them up.” Greggory said.

“Let’s hope that they don’t.” I said as the bell rung I stuffed everything into my backpack and met Max in the hallway.

“You good Sammy? You look sad” He asked

“It’s just old friends. They are just so annoying.

“Why? What did they do?” He asked

“Do you know who Mikayla Smith is? Well, they go by Amir now.” I asked

“No, not them. They’re a bitch. Felix told me all about how annoying and rude they are.” Max said.

“I used to be best friends with them last year. They gave me so much shit that by the end of the year last year I told them that they were all assholes and to leave me alone. By the start of this year they acted like I did nothing and they still are bothering me.” I said

“I’m sorry. Hey, on the brightside we have a band next.” Max said. As we entered the classroom.

“Yeah.” I said with a slight smile. We made our way into the room and Mr. Hughe, the teacher gave us a wave. We gave a wave back and then we took our seats. Max took out his phone and scrolled on Tik Tok. I took out my notebook and wrote down my feelings. I began doing this around last year and it has helped me tremendously to cope with my anxiety.

August 12th 9:34 am

I’m in band right now. I hope Max doesn’t look over to what I’m writing. That would be awkward. Anyways, today I reunited with Amir. Amir had a huge argument with my teacher in 2nd period about their gender. The teacher didn’t know that Mikayla was their dead name so, you know Amir had to pitch a fight with the teacher. I don’t really know if I like Allison anymore. It’s not a definite no, more like a maybe. Well class is gonna start in a little bit so I better get ready.

I put down my pen and put my notebook away. I didn’t even notice the harsh stare that Max was giving me.

“What was that?” He asked me. I jumped as I was startled by him.

“J-Just some stupid writing. My therapist told me it would be good to write out my feelings.” I said.

“I don’t think that’s stupid. That’s good that you’re getting your feelings out.” Max said while giving me a pat on the shoulder. The teacher came back into the room and gathered all of the students into silence.

“Okay class, Today we are going to be getting into your instruments.” He began to split the class up into sections based on the instrument that they played. I was with the other violosts that were in the class. We were on the middle right side of the classroom. I looked over to see that Max was with the other guitarists who were on the whole other side of the room. I waved but I didn’t think he saw me. I got comfortable in my chair and greeted the people around me. I was sitting next to a Boy who looked like he didn’t get any sleep for the past week. On my other side was a girl who seemed like being here was the last thing that she wanted to do.

“Hi.” I said to the boy

“What’s good?” He said, reaching out his hand. I didn’t know what he meant by that but I just shook his hand and he gave me a weird look and then rolled his eyes and went back to looking at the teacher.

“Hi.” I said turning to the girl that was sitting on my right. She just looked at me and went back on her phone. Why were these people so rude? Is it something I did wrong? I looked over to Max to see that he was getting along with his new friends perfectly. I felt a wave of jealousy run over me. I went straight for my phone to text him

These people hate me 🙁

They just can’t see what a great person you are 👍

Or maybe they just hate me

Or maybe they just think you’re so cool, their scared

To talk to you.

I doubt that but thanks for

Looking at things on the

Positive side 🙂

Np. The teacher is coming around over

Here I gotta put my phone away.

Alr. meet me outside of class when the bell rings.

Will do.

I glanced over to where Max was sitting. The teacher was talking to him about something but I couldn’t make out what they were saying. I reached into my backpack and put in my airpods to try to focus on my work. We had just gotten out quartered long music books for our new instruments. I mean, I understand reading music a little bit but I’m not very fluent with it. I opened the first page and saw a whole lot of things that I didn’t understand. I flipped through the pages a little more and finally found something a little more beginner friendly. I began to tune my violin until I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Max.

“What are you doing? The bell rung” He sad with a chuckle

“I don’t think I heard it. I was listening to music.” I said

“I saw. You looked like you were so focused on tuning that violin.” He said

’I guess so.” I said with a chuckle as I began to pack up my things. Once everything was packed up I left the classroom with Max.

“So what were you talking about with the teacher?” I asked

“He asked me why I chose guitar. He knew that I was good at the drums and I think he just wondered why I chose the guitar.” He said

“Well why did you choose guitar?” I asked

“I don’t know. Maybe so we could be on the same level. Maybe I could just learn another instrument.” He said

“That’s nice.” I said as we arrived at the lunch room. “You should hurry to class so you’re not late.” I said

“True, True. I’ll see you 7th period.” I said with a smile as we departed.

I walked in and took a seat at the table that I sat at yesterday.

“What is good mate?” Felix said in a weird british accent. I stared at him in confusion.

“Ever since Science he’s had this weird cringy accent.” Camilla said

“Who do you have for science?” I asked Felix.

“Mr. Derby” He said as he continued the accent.

“He’s the one with the accent.” Camilla said.

“Yeah. My older sister had him a couple of years ago.” I said.

“You have an older sister?” Camilla said, intrigued.

“Yeah. Isabella Stevens.” I said.

“The one that has like a million awards in the award hall?” Emmett said as he was sitting down.

“Yep. that’s my sister. The overachiever.” I said, rolling my eyes.

“I get that you want to get an award for something, but do you really have to achieve an award in the most good teacher notes? That just sounds stupid.” Camilla said.

“I know. She’s like that at college now.” I said.

“They have awards at college?” Felix asked.

“I guess so. I hope you get something like money though. It would be helpful since you’re starting out your life and everything.” I said.

“Yeah. Anyways, where’s Alisson?” Camilla asked as she began looking around for her.

“She’s sitting with her other friend. Skyler Smith.” Felix said.

“Oh, she’s in my first period.” I said.

“Yeah, she’s cool I guess,” Felix said, sounding sad.

“What’s wrong?” Camilla asked.

“I don’t know, she just always seems to take Allison from us. If Allison isn’t hanging out with us, she’s with Sky. She didn’t sit with us a lot in middle school because she was sitting with Sky. She just gives me a weird vibe” Felix said.

“You know their…” Emmett said quietly. He said something else but I couldn’t hear him.

“I know! I know. It just feels like sometimes all she cares about is Sky.” Felix said.

“What did you say, Emmett?” I asked. Emmett looked at me.

“I don’t know if I can tell you that yet. No offense, but we barely know you. We gotta ask Allison before we can tell you.” Emmett said.

“Emmett, it’s probably fine. I’ll just shoot her a text real quick and see if it’s alright, Sam.” Camilla said while reaching out her phone and texting Allison. I already knew that Allison was a lesbian, it wasn’t a big deal, but I will still respect Allison’s decision by not telling people right away.

“She said it’s fine.” Camilla said, sounding annoyed.

“Okay, fine. I just wanted to make sure that she was okay with this.” Emmett said.

“What are you even talking about?” I asked, as I was getting confused on what they were talking about.

“Allison is dating Sky.” Felix said.

“Oh. Cool.” I said.

“She’s a lesbian.” Emmett said.

“That’s cool.” I said, not knowing what to say.

“You seriously don’t care?” Camilla asked.

“I mean, good for her. I support. I don’t really know what to say. I’m not upset with it or anything.” I said.

“It’s..It’s just in middle school when she came out she got bullied a lot.” Felix said.

“That sucks. I got bullied too when I thought I liked boys… I mean I don’t know if I still like boys or not.” I said. I couldn’t believe what I just said. My legs began to shake Why did I say that? I wasn’t going to tell anyone. Stupid, Stupid, STUPID! I thought

“You’re gay too?” Felix asked me.

“I-I don’t know.” I said. I was shaking like crazy. Felix could see this and put his arm around me to comfort me.

“Hey, don’t worry. I didn’t know if I was Aroace or not for like a year. You don’t have to decide right away.” Felix said.

“I was kind of shamed into a relationship with a man last year… I don’t really like talking about it but that’s what happened. I wasn’t happy. I just thought I was straight, but now I have a crush on a guy. And a girl.” I said. I just spilled out all my guts. The table was quiet for a minute.

“I-I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to shock you guys.” I said.

“It’s not that Sam, we’re just shocked that someone would be that inhumane to do that to someone. That is just so mean and cruel. Who would do that?” Camilla said.

“Riley.” I said. After I said that the bell rang.

***

It was around the time that 7th period started. I walked to class before I felt someone tug on my backpack. I looked behind and saw Kevin, Yasmin, Amir and Riley.

“Why aren’t you sitting with us at lunch?” Yasmin asked with her annoying, thick Mexican accent.

“I just have other friends.” I said, sounding nervous.

“Guys! Sam doesn’t like us anymore!” Amir said in the most sarcastic voice ever.

“Oh yeah! Do you guys remember what we do to people that aren’t our friends?” Kevin asked. Riley grabbed my bag, opened it and dumped everything that was inside onto the ground. They laughed and walked away as all of my things were scattered around the floor. I felt my eyes well up as I was picking up my things. Then I heard a loud slam. I looked up to see Max throw Riley onto the ground.

“Leave him alone! He doesn’t want to talk to you guys and you need to deal with that!” Max said while the gang ran off with their tails between their legs. Max ran over and helped me up.

“Are you okay?” Max asked me.

“Yeah. I’m fine.

“No, you’re not. They have been picking on you. Tell me the next time that they do anything to you. I’ll kick their ass.” Max said.

“T-Thank you.” I stuttered out.

“I just want you to be okay.” He said.

“I am.” I said. I fell even harder for him.

Once we made it into 7th period, it was right after the second bell had rung.

“Maxwell Thomas, Samuel Stevens! You two are tardy. What were you up to?” The teacher asked us.

“Someone dumped everything in Sam’s bag out so I helped him clean it up.” Max said.

“Who?” The teacher asked.

“Riley Ramirez.” I said.

“He’s in my 3rd period. I’ll talk to him. Now get to your seats.” The teacher said. I made my way to my seat to have Allison tap me on my shoulder.

“You good?” She asked me.

“Yeah I’m fine.” I said

“Good” She said as she went into her bag and pulled out her notebook. I felt another tap on my shoulder to see that it was Felix.

“Riley needs to get a life.” He said, rolling his eyes.

“I know, he just needs to leave me in the past.” I said.

“So about what we were talking about at lunch,” He began “Who do you like?” He asked me.

“Umm. I-I don’t know if I actually like him or anything.” I said

“C’mon just tell me. Do I know him?” He asked me.

“Ay, leave the poor guy alone.” Camilla said. I turned around and mouthed thank you.

“Fine, don’t tell me then.” He said, annoyed.

The rest of the class was just hearing the teacher lecture us about how we need to treat each other with kindness. I didn’t listen the most of the class period and just listened to music. I was listening to Paramore again. The song was Still into you. I couldn’t help but look at Max while listening to that song. I couldn’t tell if he liked me or not. I mean, he did say that he was bisexual. I just didn’t know if he was already dating someone or not.

After class was over I packed up my bag and walked home with Emmett like I did yesterday. Once I got home I thought about today. Why was Riley picking on me? After last year we all said that we were all going to different schools. I shouldn’t have been surprised to see them all yesterday. Yet I still didn’t expect it. All I knew was that I would never be friends with them ever again.

***

September 9th 3:04 am

I couldn’t sleep last night. I don’t know why but I couldn’t. School starts in 3 hours so I thought why not just get ready. One month ago today, I started highschool. This last month has been really fun but also annoying as hell. I hate Kevin, Amir, Yasmin more than ever but I hate Riley even more with a burning passion. Last year he forced me into getting into a relationship with him by saying that he would kill himself if we ever broke up. I was practically forced into this relationship. I had to constantly be with all of those toxic people all the time, too. Kevin would never shut up about my relationship with Riley. Yasmin always pretended like she was one of the popular kids but she really wasn’t. She was a pick me for hanging out with all of us all the time. Amir used to go by Trixie, then Zero, then Linn, then Kenzie, then Camron, then Henry, You get the point. Their gender changer faster than I could change classes. They always threw a tantrum if someone called them by the wrong pronouns or the wrong name.

I’m glad I finally found a friend group that I’m comfortable around. Emmett and Camilla are always lovebirds at lunch, kissing, cuddling, you get the pint. They are both straight allies. Felix said that He’s aroace, meaning that he doesn’t have any romantic feelings at all for anyone. Allison is lesbian who is dating Sky. Allison always seems to be busy with her. I’ve never really seen them at lunch together though.

Lastly there is Max. he doesn’t sit with us at lunch because he is in 10th grade. He’s not reeling in the friend group, according to Felix but he practically is. We are always at Felix’s house and they are both brothers so they live together. Plus Max knows practically everything about our friend group. I really enjoy hanging out with Max but the group thinks it’s a little weird how I always want to hang out with him. I think that they can sense that I like him. Everyone but Felix. Even if he did see it, I don’t think he would accept it. He doesn’t like when anyone talks about his brother. He thinks that his brother is just an annoyment. He hates his brother, he hates it even more if one of his friends hang out with him, let alone date him.

It was about time that I put away my notebook and start getting ready for school. My mind couldn’t help but have my mind race with thoughts of Max. his smile, his hair, his same jersy that he wore every Tuesday. Once I w as ready I made my way downstairs and saw Emmett waiting for me outside.

“You ready?” Emmett asked me.

“Yep!” I said happily.

“You seem happy, what’s on your mind?” He asked me.

“Nothing much.” I said.

“Aren’t you trying out for the swimming team?” He asked me.

“That completely slipped my mind!” I said. “Gotta go and grab my swim stuff real quick.” I said. Emmett gave me a head nod before I ran inside and grabbed my things. Once I grabbed them I ran back downstairs and out the door.

“I’m ready now.” I said with a chuckle.

Once we made it to the school we were greeted with Felix and Camilla. About a week ago Allison stopped walking to school with us and started going with Sky. I was a little hurt by this but I didn’t care as much as Felix did. Felix absolutely hated Sky. He always claimed that she was trying to steal Allison from us. I mean I just saw that they were dating and they wanted to spend quiet time together. At least we got to see Allison during 7th period.

The first bell had rung so I rushed to first period. I have been late so many times this year just from hanging out with the group. I departed them and hurried through the courtyard into first period. My first period teacher didn’t really like me that much. She thought that I just wanted to skip class. I rushed to my seat, Max was already there. I smiled once I saw him. I ran into my seat and fell onto the ground. The entire class went silent. I got up and sat in my seat and gave the teacher a smile.

“I’m okay!” I said with a thumbs up. The teacher rolled her eyes and went back onto her computer

“You good?” Max asked me with a laugh.

“I’m good,” I laughed back.

“Good. Anyways, do you have your swimming stuff? Tryouts are today.” Max said

“Yeah. I would have forgotten it if Emmett didn’t remind me.” I said

“Good. I bought my stuff too. Tryouts are after school. We’ll walk to the pool together.” Max said

“Okay.” I said with a smile. I looked at his caramel colored hair, then his freckled face, then his hazel eyes, then his lips.

“You good?” He asked me.

“Oh! O-Oh yeah I’m okay.” I said, hoping that he didn’t notice me staring at him.

“You sure? You were looking at me.” He said

“Uhm. Yeah. I’m okay. I-I was looking at the person behind you!” I said. Max looked behind me and saw nothing.

“You know I don’t mind if you stare at me.” Max said with a smirk. He turned forward before continuing. “I look at you too sometimes.” He said. Then he whispered “I can’t keep my eyes off of you.” He said. My face went red. Does he like me? Butterflies were in my stomach. I couldn’t speak.

“Samuel, are you okay? You look a little red.” The teacher asked me.

“Yeah. I-I’m okay.” I said.

Soon the bell rang. I couldn’t stop thinking about what Max said. I wanted to tell someone but I couldn’t really tell anyone in my friend group. The only person who I could possibly talk to was Greggory. When I walked into second period I saw him in his seat, with the gigantic headphones that he always had. I could see that he was drawing a girl in his notebook. I slid into my seat next to him and peaked over his shoulder.

“Do you mind?” He asked me in an annoyed tone.

“Who are you drawing?” I aske, in a sly tone.

”If I tell you, you can’t tell anyone.” He said.

“I pinky swear, cross my heart and hope to die that I, Samuel Jose Stevens will not tell a soul.” I said. “Too much?” I asked him

“Too much.” He answered back, looking me up and down.

“Sorry.” I said

“Your good. So I…Well I think I might have a crush on someone.” He said

“Ooo! Who? Do I know them?” I asked

“Well. You know your new friend group? Well There’s this girl and i think shes beautiful.” He said. I could practically see the hearts in his eyes forming.

“Let me guess, Camilla?” I said.

“How did you know? Yeah. i know she’s dating Emmett. I’m just saying that she’s so pretty and nice. Ugh! I hate this feeling but I love it at the same time!” he said

“My friend, you are in love.” I said, Giving him a pat on the back. “Speaking about love, I have a crush too.” I said.

“Who?” He said

“I don’t think you know them. His name is Max.” I said

“Maxwell Thompson? The one who got held back in a coupe of classes? The one who’s on the swim team?” He asked me.

“Uhm.. Yeah. He’s not on the swim team yet, tryouts are today.” I said

“And let me guess, you’re going to try out because you want to get closer to him.” He said

“Not exactly. I want to try new things. In band I chose to play the violin instead of the guitar. Max chose the Guitar even though he plays the drums.” I said.

“Is he even gay?” He asked me

“He’s bisexual.” I said with a smirk.

“Do you know if he even likes you like that?” He asked me.

“I didn’t really know until today. I was kinda staring at him during first period and he was all like. ‘Are you staring at me?’ and I’m all like ‘No! I was looking behind you!’ and then he was like, ‘I look at you too sometimes.’ and then he said ‘I can’t take my eyes off of you’ “ i said

“Wow, that does sound promising.” Greggory said.

’I know! I have band with him next. Too bad he sits all the way across the room.” I said with a sigh.

“Do you have his number?” He asked me

“Of course I do, I got it on the first day.” I said

“I should have seen that coming. I think you’ll be fine.” He said.

“I hope so.”

The bell rang and it was a band. I was walking in the hallway when I felt the presence of someone next to me. I looked over to see that it was Max.

“How was 2nd period?” I asked him. We usually met with each other around this time and asked each other how our classes were.

“I mean, it was okay. Honestly I just wished you were there.” He said. My heart skipped a beat. I looked over to him. He was a little red.

“I wish you were there too.” I said. I felt my face turn the color of my shirt. We were quiet for a minute until we finally made it to band.

“Maxwell, Samuel, Over here please.” The teacher said, signaling us to his desk.

“What’s up?” Max asked

“I have been noticing that you two are picking up your new instruments quite fast. In fact you guys are the best in the class.” The teacher said,

“Really? That’s great!” I said with a smile.

“You both are at about intermediate level and not beginner.” The teacher said,

“Go on,” Max said

“So since you two are so high, One of our Advanced and intermediate kids has a duet coming up for the Halloween Bash. But they both just informed me that they wouldn’t be able to do the part.” The teacher said,

“So your going to ask us to do it?” Max asked

“If you don’t mind. The Advanced kid had violin and the intermediate kid had drums. I know that you, Max plays drums. Am I correct?” The teacher asked.

“Yep.” Max said.

“Sam, your part is a little bit tricky but you have about two months before the performance. I’m sure you would do great.” The teacher said.

“I-I think I’ll do it!” I said

“Same here.” Max said

“Thank you. You two just saved the entire performance. We will set up arrangements to practice. Here,” The teacher said while reaching behind him to grab something. “These are your books.” The teacher said, handing us each a book. “Page 221-240 for you Sam. And pages 14-31 for you Max. I want both of you to practice this everyday. At least one time a day. By then you will be ready for the performance.” The teacher said,

“Thanks.” I said

“Thank you.” Max said. We both went off to our seats. I looked up at Max and smiled. He looked up and smiled and then reached for his phone. I felt mine buzz and I went to go check on what it was.

After the swim tryouts you should come

To my house so we could practice.

Good idea. There’s a lot we gotta practice.

True, True.

I smiled and then I put my phone down and took out my violin. I began to tune it and then I decided why not have a go at looking at the boof. I opened it up and realized that it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. I instantly realized that these were quick notes, mostly using half a bow. I tried the first line and nailed it surprisingly. I looked over at Max who wasn’t with the rest of the guitar people. I looked over and saw that he was at the drums. The drums were the loudest instrument in the band room, but they went with almost anything. It sounded like Max was getting the hang of his book pretty quickly as well.

“Okay class, I have an announcement” The teacher said, attempting to get the classroom silent.

“Ooo I wonder what it is!” A student said.

“So two of our more advanced students in my other classes have a performance coming up. It’s for the halloween bash. But they both backed out on the role based on scheduling issues. So instead I needed two students from my beginner class to fill in the role.” The teacher said, Almost the entire class raised their hands as high as they could, hoping to get picked.

“I am sorry but I have already chosen my two students.” The teacher said, The room filled with groans of students. Me and Max both just chucked to ourselves.

“The students that I have chosen for this role are Samuel and Maxwell.” The teacher said. The whole room turned over and looked at us. I looked over to Max to see that his face was red. I gave a nervous smile, trying to hold in my pure embarrassment.

“Please give them a round of applause.” The teacher said, The class all applauded us and after that the rest was a blur.

The days around that time the days were all a blur. All I can remember from that time was that Felix was being a little bit distant from me. Only a little bit though. And I made the swim team along with Max. We have been practicing our duet together and it’s going perfect. I love the song that I have and the drums with the violin go perfect together. We have perfected it up until the middle of October. Me and Max have been flirting a little bit. But only a little. I still can’t tell if he likes me or not, but I’m pretty sure that he could tell that I like him.

It was band and class had been going normally. I was still practicing my part of the duet while Max was practicing his guitar.

“Samuel?” I heard the teacher say. I went over to the teacher desk to see what he needed.

“So today is our first rehearsal. It is going to be with the choir students as well. It will be during 6th and 7th period.” he said

“Okay.” I said, wondering if Emmett, Allison, Camilla or Felix would be there.

Soon enough it was 6th period. I grabbed my bag and nervously headed for the gym. Not a lot of people were there, mostly just the technical people. I was a little early so I didn’t expect many people to be there. I sat in the chair on the stage, waiting for my instruction to begin. Soon enough Max walked in. I couldn’t tell if it was my imagination or reality, but it seemed that he was walking in slow motion, flipping his hair like he always did when he walked into a room. He looked at me and smiled.

“Finally not late for once.” He said

“I guess so.” I said with the biggest smile back.

“Okay, so are you ready to go?” He asked.

“Yep! Tuned in and everything. The techs haven;t came over to me yet to plug my violin in or anything yet. And I haven’t seen a single choir kid yet.” I said

“I’m sure that it’s gonna start so-” Max was cut of by a loud voice entering the room

“Hello, Hello! My lovely Instrumentals!” The Man said walking in. I couldn’t tell who he was until he introduced himself. “I am Gary Lopez and I am the Choir Teacher. I don’t know you two very well but I am charmed.” He said

“I-I’m Samuel, Samuel Stevent.” I stuttered.

“And I’m Max.” Max said with a smile.

“Samuel and Maxie! I hope that we will become great apprentices!” He said

“ ‘Maxie?’ “ I whispered with a laugh to Max as he gave me a look back. I couldn’t stop myself from laughing. Soon enough the choir kids came in with the band teacher.

“Okay everyone! Places, places!” The band teacher yelled. The techs plugged in my violin and plugged in Max’s drums. Once the entire room was silent it finally began. I took a deep breath and looked over at Max. he looked liek he saw a ghost. He looked scared, nervous and everything in between. Then he looked up at me and I gave him a promising smile. Then he nodded his head and began the first beat. I played the first note and I felt the fire in between my fingertips. I next went in with the quick notes and that’s when the choir kids began their singing. Once I heard them singing I finally recognized the song. I had always found the song familiar before I heard the lyrics but now I know it. It was Over the River by Pentatonix and Lindsey Stirling. The singing and the violin complemented each other well. The solo’s from each of the kids were amazing. Lastly, when I got the other most quick note where I had to move my bow in various ways, the beat picked up from the drums and the choir kids were matching their voice with my violin.

After I was done I felt the sheer sweat roll down my forehead. I looked over to Max and smiled. He didn’t look back. He looked even more shocked than he was impressed. The people who were watching all applauded.

“Samuel! The violin was outstanding! You will be perfection at the Halloween Bash!” The Choir teacher said. I felt someone wrap their arm around me. I looked up to see Max.

“That was great, Sam.” He said

“You too. Maxie.” I said with a smile. He gave me that same look that he gave earlier.

“Sam, that was so good!” I heard a familiar voice say. I looked to see Aliison, Felix, Emmett and Camilla all there.

“Oh my god! What are you guys doing here!?” I said with a smile. I couldn’t believe that they were there. They saw the entire performance.

“We’re in choir, duh.” Felix said.

“I can’t believe I didn’t notice you!’ I said, giving them all a hug. Then we felt a large pair of arms wrap around us. It was Max.

“You did so good too!” Allison said

“Thank you.” He said with a smile. He put his arm around Felix.

“Can you not touch me!?” Felix yelled while itching away.

“What? I literally did nothing. You’re just being a baby.” He said while Felix ran off.

“I don’t know why he hates me so much.” Max said while watching Felix go out the door.

“I’m sure he likes you, he’s just kind going through something right now.” I said..

“If that’s the case then he has been going through something for 14 years.” Max said.

“C’mon, we got swim practice we gotta go to.” I said, trying to enlighten the spirits.

“You’re right. I need to cool off. Let’s go.” He said, grabbing his bag and heading off to the pool.

Once we made it to the indoor pool there were so many people there. Me and Max first headed to the locker room to get changed. When I was in middle school we didn’t dress out into PE clothes like a normal middle school. We just went out in what we wore the clothes that we wore to school that day. Once we were finished getting changed we rushed out to the pool. I looked around, the majority of the people there had a blue suit, blue goggles and a yellow swim cap. I just had goggles and a suit.

“Good afternoon! I’m Mr. Imgroom. I’m the PE teacher here and also the swim coach. I’m going to do this in last name order since we got a lot of you. You gotta go to the end of the pool and swim back in under 10 seconds.” The Coach said. “Alrighty, Anderson! You’re up first.” The coach said. Me and Max watched as the water was being splashed everywhere. We continued watching the coach call out name by name until he called my name.

“Stevens? Are you related to Isabella Stevens by any chance?” The coach asked

“Yeah, she’s my older sister.” I said, annoyed. I got this question a lot since my sister was “So Great”.

“The was one of the best. I’m glad you’re following in her footsteps, I’m sure you will do swimmingly. Get it? No? Okay whatever. You’re up Stevens!” He said.

I looked at the clear water and took a deep breath. I stepped into the lukewarm liquid and looked on how far I had to go. I had to put all of my force into this. People are expecting me to look as good as my sister. I have to show them that I’m not stupid. I have to be good enough for them. Max is watching me. Max is counting on me. I got to the point the water was on my shoulders, waiting for the coaches count.

“Three! Two! One! Go!” He said.

I kicked off of the wall and swam as fast as I possibly could. Soon enough I was on the other side of the wall. I turned around and kicked off of the wall again. It seemed that the kick was all that I needed to get back to the starting point. I made it back to the start and flipped my head up and put off the water.

“No way! An outstanding 4.39 Seconds!” The Coach said. Relief filled my body. I looked over at Max and he gave me a proud look. I smiled and then got pulled out of the water by the coach.

“Good job sport! I knew you could do it!” He said. I walked over to Max with the biggest smile on my face.

“I didn’t know you could swim that good!” He said

“I didn’t either.” I said with a smile.

“Well you did great.” He said

“I’m sure you’ll do just as good.” I said back.

“Thompson? You’re up!” The coach said to Max. Max gave him a nervous nod and went in the water.

He looked at the end of the pool and then at the coach, waiting for his countdown. The coach counted down from three and all the way to one. Max went off and paddled his way to the other side. It seemed like I blinked and he was already there. He sprang off the wall and went as quickly as he could back to the starting point.

“6.88 seconds for Maxwell Thompson!” The coach yelled.

“Good job.” I said with a proud smile to Max. He gave me a head nod and went ot the locker room. I hurried behind him.

“You okay?” I asked

“Ye-Yeah. I’m fine. I’m just tired.” HE said with a slight smile, but barley visible.

“You sure?” I asked

“Yeah. I’m fine. I just need to get some sleep.” He said

“Okay. well bye.” I said with a slight wave before walking off to my house.

I was thinking to myself, What did I do wrong? Is he upset because I got a faster time than him? Is he embarrassed to be talking to a 9th grader? I questioned myself until I got home. I took a shower before sitting down for dinner.

“Are you okay Sammy?” Dad asked me in his same cheery voice that he never seemed to get rid of.

“Yeah I’m fine.” I lied.

“Okay. I made your favorite sport! Rice-o-roni!” He said, excitedly. I took the bowl that he handed to me and went up to my room. I went on my phone and began to look at the pictures that we took together while we were in the gym. I looked at them with the biggest smile on my face. I was nervous for the big performance before the rehearsal but after going, I felt more confident than ever. I remembered the face of Max when he first got into his seat. He was tense and nervous. I hoped that he wouldn’t do that for the performance.

***

Once I woke up Felt an overwhelming sense crawl all over me. It was October 31st. The day of the Halloween Bash. The last couple of days I have been so busy with swim practice I kind of forgot about the entire performance. I grabbed my violin from under my bed and practiced the song. G, D, E, Vibrato, no! It’s a quick shift to D and then Vibrato, No! I couldn’t seem to remember the right lyrics. I quickly put my violin away and told myself that I’ll just practice when I get to school. I looked at myself in the mirror and smiled. I was in my suit and bowtie for the performance. I couldn’t wait until I got to school to see Max.Once I got to school I was already 10 minutes late. It was an entire pre rehearsal in the gym. I rushed there.

“Late Samuel.” The Band teacher said as I rushed to my spot.

“I’m sorry. I woke up late.” I said.

“On the big performance day. What a shame.” The Band teacher said

“Keep your spirits high. We are going to do two dress rehearsals before the performance. Get in your place and get ready.” The choir teacher said.

I took a seat in the high chair that was overlooking the audience. I took my violin and tuned it while rosining up my bow.

“Are we ready? And a one and a two,” I began on the violin. It was pretty simple for a start. It was a D-E string switch and then the voices along with the choir came in. Then The amazing solo voice of Jae came in. Jae was an amazing singer who got the role of being the main solo of the entire performance. Then the beautiful voices of Leian and Grace filled as they sung the lighter notes while the rest of the choir sang with Jae. I heard the light drum beats that Max did. You wouldn’t be able to hear the drums if you couldn’t see them. They fit in with the song so well it was almost impossible to hear them. It was fun lifting my violin with the beat of the music. Soon enough I drifted my bow across my violin for the final part. I had that same sheer sweat roll down my head as I looked out into the audience. The only people sitting in the audience were the choir and band teacher though.

“Great, Great.” I heard a Techie come up onto the stage. “You need to keep this plugged in though. Try not to move so much, it keeps it in.” The techie said

“Oh, sorry.” I said.

“You got nothing to be sorry for. It’s on our end. We have a broken connector cable.” The techie said.

“Oh.” I said back I didn’t really understand what he meant but I just tried to play along.

“And as for you,” The techie said, turning around to Max “Maxie? Its that your name?” The Techie asked

“Max. It’s Max.” Max said.

“Okay, well Max your not hitting the drums loud enough for the receiver on the microphone to take that transmission all the way to the music box, backstage left.” The Techie said.

“I have no idea what you just said.” Max said.

“Okay, Max. I’m telling you that you need to hit the drums harder because it’s not loud enough. You can only hear it if you’re on stage.” The techie said. Max still gave him a confused look but just agreed with what he said.

“Do we need to take 5 or can we do another run through?” The choir teacher asked.

“I can go again.” I said.

“He wasn’t talking to you, he was talking to the Techs.” The band teacher said. I rolled my eyes.

“We’re good. We can go again.” The Techie said.

“Okay then. From the top!” The choir teacher said as we went again. This next runthrough didn’t have a lot of emotion. I could tell that me and Max were playing the way that the teachers wanted us to play and noth the way that we wanted to play. I didn’t swing the violin as I played this ti,and I just did as I was told. Once we were over we all looked at one another.

“Okay we’re gonna have a 20 minute break and then we’re gonna go back at it.” The choir teacher said. I nodded and then sat my violin down in its case.

“It feels like they don’t want us to be ourselves in this performance.” Max said, coming over to me.

“I know. That last runthrough was so unemotional.” I said

“At least today is the last day of this shitty performance thing.” Max said

“You don’t like it?” I asked.

“I don’t like that bitch of a band teacher and I hate playing the stupid drums. I wished I could play the guitar. Don’t get me wrong, you and the choir are absolutely amazing. Especially you. You’re…so good. I wished I was as good as you.” Max said. My heart skipped a beat.

“Thank you. You’re really good at the drums too.” I said back, awkwardly.

“Stop, I’m not that good. You’re way better.” He flirted

“No you are! I’m not that good.” I flirted back

“You’re literally the star of this show. They wouldn’t choose you if you weren’t good.” He said

“Eh. True” I said. Max looked at me with a smile.

“You seem to be getting on the Techie’s last nerve.” Allison said, walking over.

“I wasn’t trying to.” I said

“I know. Those fucking Tech people are so annoying. They think that they really aren’t.” Allison said.

“Yeah. I did Tech last year and I hated it. They only talk bad about other people. Its so annoying.” Max said.

“Really? What do you even do in that class?” I asked.

“They help with performances, plays, assemblies and shit like this. You can only do something if you’re in Advanced Tech or intermediate. I was in beginner since I was in my freshman year.” Max said.

“Tech was my second choice if I didn’t get into Band.” I said.

“Glad you got in band.” Max said.

“Yea.” I said while smiling back at him.

“Okay you two, are we ready to get back at it and do another runthrough?” The choir teacher said, coming over. Me and Max both nodded before going to our spots to practice again.

***

It was around 4 ’o’clock. The performance began in 30 minutes. Last minute preparations were happening while all of us performers were backstage. It wasn’t just the choir students, it was also the dancers. The dancers did a performance before us. Then we went on. Then there was a performance of the song Monster Mash with all of the advanced Choir kids and Advanced Band kids. I looked behind the curtain and there were already people getting in their seats. I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up to see that it was just Max.

“You scared half to death?” He asked me. I nodded. “Same here. Something about the amount of people just gives me a chill. I hate when they just stare at you, expecting you to do something. I don’t know. I just hate performing but I love the outcome.” Max said

“Really. I just love everything about it. Performing is so much fun.” I said.

“Well you know what they say, opposites attract.” Max said, looking at me with a smile.

My face went red as I was staring back at him. I could feel my stomach turning into knots. His caramel hair with hazel eyes went perfect with his freckle spattered face. He bit his lower lip while asking me something.

“Remember that one time I asked you what your sexuality was?” He asked me. I nodded. “I remember you said that you didn’t know, or something across those lines. And I was wondering… Have you ever found out?” He asked me

“I still don’t really know. I think I might be gay.” I said, trying to sound confident

“And I wanted to tell you something else. I really like you Sam. Like, a lot.” He said all I could think was him. I have liked him since the first day of school. Could this finally be the moment that I have been dreaming about!?

“I-I like you too. I like you a lot.” I said back. He smiled at me before placing his hand on my back and leaning me closer. I looked at him before our lips touched. All the worries left my body. Nothing could be better. He pulled away

“I think we gotta get to our spots.” He said with a smile.

“Y-Yeah. You’re right.” I said, blushing.

I took my seat. The curtain hadn’t been revealed yet. I looked over at Max and he looked over at me with a promising look. I smiled and then got out my violin. Just remember what you practiced. You got this. You can do it. I told myself. Soon enough, the choir kids all cot situated and it was time to begin. The two teachers looked at us and then each other. Then the curtain opened up and a large crowd of people all applauded us.

“Good evening! Welcome to Riverside High school!” The band teacher said to the crowd.

“We have a performance from our choir and band for you here today. We ask that you silent all cell phones and/or electronic devices. Thank you and enjoy.” The choir teacher said while leaving the stage.

I looked over to Max. he looked like he was freaking out. He looked up to me for assurance. I took a deep breath and mouthed “Breath” to him. He smiled and then gave me a nod. I smiled and nodded back before getting my violin in place. I looked into the crowd and spotted my dad and sister. I smiled at them. Isabella held up her thumbs. I gave them a head nod and began. I began with the quick note switches and about time the choir came in with their vocalization. Jae stood up from his seat and sang his solo. He made sure to match his tone perfectly with the tone of the violin. Once he finished his first verse the choir overpowered matching their rhythm with my violin. You could hear Leian and Grace with their soft but powerful voices in all of the music. You could hear the audience vocalizing with the choir until it was the final verse. I drifted my bow across the violin and soon enough that was it. I looked into the crowd with the biggest smile on my face. That had been the best performance that we had done yet. You couldn’t spot out a single person in the audience who wasn’t standing. Cheers and applause was all you could hear. I looked behind me to see the choir kids taking bows. I followed that and took my bow. I looked at Max to see a light tear, barely noticeable roll down his cheek. He looked at me and smiled.

“Amazing! Absolutely incredible performance from our wonderful choir kids and our main three. Maxwell Thomas, Jae Rivas and Samuel Stevens!” The choir teacher yelled among the crowd.

“Thank you all for coming. We appreciate every last one of you. Go check out the haunted house before you leave. Thank you again!” The band teacher said as we were all dismissed backstage.

“You did so good!” Max said, giving me the biggest hug ever.

“Thank you! You did even better.” I said

“Sam, you’re the star of the show!” Jae said, coming over and giving me a congratulatory hug.

“Thank you.” I said

“Sam! That was so good!” Allison said, coming over with Emmett, Felix and Camilla.

“You guys were so good too!” I said

“You did amazing too Max.” Camilla said with a smile.

“Thanks. Sam and Jae are the real stars of the show though.” Max said back.

We all condradulated eachother for about ten mor minutes until we were reunited with our families. I went over to Dad and Isabella.

“Thanks for coming. I love it when you guys watch me perform.” I said

“You’re welcome. You did really well Sammy.” Isabella said. “Who’s that hunk who was playing the drums? Surely he has to be too old to go here.” Isabella said

“That’s just Max. He’s actually a sophomore.” I said

“Really? He looks too old to be in 10th grade.” Isabella said.

“Yeah. He’s pretty awesome.”

“I bet. Anyways we’re gonna go home.” Dad said

“Okay, I’m gonna go say bye to my friend real quick.” I said before going off to find Max. I saw him across the room, eating something at the snack table.

“Max!” I yelled from across the room. He looked over and smiled before making his way over to me.

“Hey,” He said

“Hey,” I said back. It was quiet for a minute as we were just looking at each other with smiles spread across our faces.

“Well I gotta go, but I’ll talk to you later.” I said

“Okay. Hey, you did really well tonight.” He said

“Thank you. You did good too. Like, really, really good.” I said. He smiled before bringing me in for a hug.

“I’ll see you again soon. Alright?” He said

“Alright.” I said back before walking off.

“Miss you already!” He yelled.

I smiled. I knew that this wasn’t going to be the end.

FINISHED