Chapter 1
Hannah
A knock on my classroom door startled me. Glancing at the clock above the Smartboard, I realized that I’d zoned out while grading papers. I turned, grabbing a pencil off my desk as I quickly tried to put my very messy hair into a very messy bun. The first attempt ended in a broken pencil and a quiet curse from my mouth as I slid my shoes back on my feet and pulled my cardigan around to cover the coffee stain at the bottom of my shirt. I grabbed yet another pencil and shoved it more carefully into the mass of ginger curls and hurried to open my door.
“Oh! Thank you for coming in on such short notice.” I smiled and gestured for the parents to enter my classroom.
Settling ourselves into the only adult size chairs in my classroom which were near the back corner, I smiled at my guests. I was thankful for my skincare routine that featured snail slime amongst it’s seven steps and hopeful that I didn’t have any more obvious stains on my shirt.
Across the table, Jethro Winston and Sienna Diaz smiled warmly. Good heavens these were attractive people. It wasn’t my first time meeting them of course, but Sienna’s radiance always caught me off guard. America’s sweetheart, comedic genius, and bonafide movie star and her rugged, hometown hottie of a husband, sitting at the kidney shaped table in my classroom. Whew. Truth be told, I was a little disappointed that a sex tape of these two had never been leaked, though that would’ve made this whole parent/teacher conference much more awkward.
Clearing my throat, I got right to the point. “I asked y’all to come down today so we could discuss some of Benjamin’s behaviors. Things have been escalating, and I’m hopeful we can find solution together.”
Jethro and Sienna shared a look.
“It’s the Muppet thing isn’t it?” Sienna asked with a grimace.
Nodding my head I attempted to keep my response pragmatic.
“The thing is, while incredibly creative, and often times very funny, it is distracting to the overall learning environment.”
Jethro’s eyes crinkled in the corners while he cleared his throat, clearly trying to keep his composure.
“I told you this would happen” Sienna whispered, gently elbowing him in the ribs.
Sighing heavily, Sienna slouched over the table, leaning on her forearms and looking me in the eye.
“He watched the original Muppet Show this summer. Binged every episode while we were traveling. Not that I let him have too much screen time! Just, you know, on planes and trains and automobiles. He is obsessed with Stratler and Waldorf. He does it at home too. And you’re right, he is funny! And of course, I’m proud of that. We’re both proud of that. But the muppet based commentary won’t stop. It’s even rubbing off on Pedro who, for some reason, is equally obsessed with ‘bad Kermit’ from the newer movie.”
Try as I might to keep an open and neutral expression on my face, I’m fairly certain my eyebrows were in the vicinity of my hairline. I was surprised to witness Sienna Diaz nervous and rambling. She made me nervous, not the other way around! Jethro reached over and wrapped his arm around her, which settled her some.
I nodded again, trying to remember not to be star struck and to remain professional. “I think, if we can come up with a way to channel this creativity, maybe we can reduce the classroom disruption. A journal? Maybe he could write his own comic strip?”
Sienna seemed to like that idea, so I kept going.
“He’s a bright boy, he catches on to the classroom material quickly and is usually one of the first to finish his seat work. This issue could be stemming from boredom.”
Bracing, I continued “Also, and really the root of the reason for this meeting is that you should know; he can get a little mean to his peers with the jokes and quips. The things he says will hurt their feelings, though I don’t think that is Benjamin’s intent. They’ve begun ostracizing him during free time, recess and such. That’s honestly my biggest concern.”
At that news, Jethro’s laughter died out.
“We’ll talk to him about it. Set some boundaries and consequences.” He said, as serious as I'd ever seen him.
“I think if we can redirect this energy, there won’t be any lasting damage to his psyche. He’s a good kid, and most of the time he gets on well with the others. They know he’s smart, and they think he’s funny. If he can channel that creativity, without hurting the feelings of a bunch of 8 year olds, he’ll be fine.” I smiled reassuringly.
They seemed happy with the plan in place, and the meeting (that could have been an email if it weren’t for Ms. Diaz’s celebrity status), was over.
Just as I began gathering my things, Sarah McCormick, my best friend and fellow teacher-6th grade math and science, came in and sat on the edge of my desk. Most people assumed Sarah was a kindergarten teacher, with her big personality, blonde hair, and smile that nine out of ten dentists would recommend. Most people assumed that, until she actually started talking. Her sarcasm would be lost on those tiny tots. Most of it was lost on those pre teens too.
“Hey hooker, you coming to movie night tonight? Sam said he’d order you your very own, very disgusting pizza.”
Smiling at her I nodded.
“I’m going to head home first, shower, change, talk to my cat.”
“You really ought’n talk about your cat here. This is an educational establishment” she said with a wink.
Rolling my eyes at her antics, I grabbed my overstuffed bag, my keys, my water bottle, my coffee cup, and my insulated tumbler off of my desk. She eyed my full bag and full arms. But wasn’t at all surprised.
“By the way” she said as I joined her in the hall, “you’ve got something just there” she indicated to the corner of my mouth, where sure enough, I scraped away mustard, leftover from inhaling my sandwich. The sandwich that I ate for lunch, 4 hours ago.
Thinking back to my high profile parent teacher conference, with America’s sweetheart and her heartthrob husband, I couldn’t stop the hysterical laughter that had me suddenly doubled over. Puzzled, and maybe worried I’d finally snapped, Sarah stood silently as I tried to catch my breath.
“I. I just. I just had a meeting with the Winstons.” I finally managed while wiping tears from the corners of my eyes.
Sarah’s face split into a huge grin.
“Now probably isn’t a good time to tell you that you’ve got a clump of hair sticking straight up like a rooster, is it?” She began to giggle as she lead the way down the hallway toward the back parking lot.
