Chapter 1
“Do you keep stationery?” asked Ben politely to the clerk behind the counter in the dusty old newsagents in town.
“Only when I am really tired” came the dry reply from the man who looked like a very old cricket umpire with his hands behind his back and the last remains of his McBaren tobacco blend curling up and wafting out of his pipe dangling from his mouth into the atmosphere of the shop, adding to the already hectic odours that surrounded the occupants there.
The combination of mould, old newspapers, insect repellent, rat poison pellets ( freshly nibbled on) all made for a real difficulty in breathing. Ben wanted to leave as soon as he got what he came into to town to purchase, because he could take about 5 minutes more of the stench in that place before he ran out into the street gasping for fresh air.
By comparison Lambshanks farts were tame compared to this place and Ben watched as this clerks fat stumpy fingers sorted through piles of well stacked sheets of ornate paper just to the side of the cash register.
A collection of papers were stacked up neatly then placed on a large sheet of brown paper and folded up to protect them once they made their way inside Ben’s back pack. All manor of things floated around in that pack and as these were the invitations for a small gathering of close friends and family to his sons first outing from hospital Ben wanted them to be just right.
(Authors Note: Hello and how are you, the reader, going? Ok.....its time for a quick catch up from where we left off with the McPirates I think before we get too far ahead of ourselves and you give up in the first chapter.
3 months prior to this day..........
12 Pirates took up residence in their old ship the Lavrock ( minus their sails so they couldn’t reek havoc on any villages or ocean liners at sea by leaving ), Aubrey’s pregnancy went to full term and she gave birth to a beautiful baby boy called Evin Ulysess Maitland, 9lb 3 ounces and such a quiet baby, he hardly ever cries at all. I don’t really think he has a chance given all the different kinds of people who attend to him and check on him every second of the day....and night. A&G went back into full swing looking after guests, Peebles and Agnes started dating and became a very strong solid couple and Fiona....well she was just Fiona and steady as the day was long. Bens mum and dad, now ghosts, were frequent visitors because of Evin and he was coming home in three days from hospital so Ben wanted his first experience at home to be filled with love, family and the closest of friends. That is why he was out trying to find some invitations that were special. Well... he sure found something special that had most likely curled up and died in a corner of that newsagents, but he got the invitations all the same and into his back pack they went then it was back into the car, with Hambone, and home to A&G. All caught up now...lets read on shall we : GMB61)
After the raising of the Lavrock from the depths of the Dx4H ( deep deep double deep hole for those not familiar with this abbreviation ) of Loch Morlick, life changed yet again for the inhabitants of A&G with the addition of 12 sailors who were struggling to come to terms with the loss of their Captain, the 21st century and all its technology, and the fact that they could still see and talk to him as he roamed the decks with his wife and son as ghosts at any time of the day or night.
For these simple men it was a bit of a strain to their collective nervous systems and Peebles was sure he heard one or two of them scream in fear mixed with foul language as they were visited in the crows nest by Captain Fellum. This echoed across Loch Morlick on more than one occasion and always made Peebles chuckle to himself just quietly.
Ben pulled up in his car and exited it going over to his new bell that was found by Cleodora and Lanthe of the Merrow's and Queen Zillath’s best body guards to replace the old one that now took pride, and its original place, back on the Lavrock for all to hear. Engraved on the side of this bell were the words...HMS SWAN. Apparently this ship was part of Oliver Cromwell’s navy back in 1641...
( no McPirates involved this time thank god or the religious equivalent : GMB61 )
... and was sunk off the west coast of Scotland in 1653 in a bad storm, found by divers in 1979 and what was left of the ship with some silver coins, cannons and military artefacts had now taken pride and place in the National Museum Of Scotland....except the ships bell which is now re-housed in the Lavrocks old housing and swinging mechanism. There are times when Ben would sound his new bell and a crewman from the Lavrock would ring his in recognition of each other. This was another way of communicating with these ancient sailors who found that mobile phones were to be a complete waste of time and a bell sounding off in the distance was much more agreeable than a small multi coloured device that played the Pink Panther Theme while they held it. Once again these old pirates struggled with technology.......just like my parents.
Ben rowed across to A&G and tied up the Lil Oz and then made his way to the front door just in time to hear one a rather loud expletive come from the direction of the Lavrock tied up next to the submarine and he smiled to himself as he opened the door because he knew Fellum had surprised who ever it was in the crows nest and was greeted by all the guests and Agnes who said...
“Did you get the.....” and Ben cut her off before she could finish....
“Invitations?...yes I did Agnes and thanks for asking” and he made his way up the stairs to his room to begin writing the invitations out. For once in the history of his time here at A&G it would seem that Aubrey and Evin’s homecoming would be a memorable time for all the right reasons........for a change.
