37 days: Holding on 2 broken promises

POV

X

Pain.

Pain is coursing through my body, mind, and soul.

I can deal with the physical pain, but what I can’t seem to get a grip over is the fresh feeling of pain in my heart.

Personally, I’ve never been heartbroken before. I am always the one breaking someone else’s heart, never been on the receiving end.

I broke my baby’s heart which completely destroyed mine in the process.

My mind is going a mile a minute as Julian walks me to his room. He’s not stupid, he knows bringing me to the penthouse would be a fast trigger.

Trigger.

Millie, with my gun in her hands, pointed at me.

The hate in her beautiful, once so innocent face, carried so much disgust for me that she pointed the most lethal weapon at me, being the target.

I did that, I caused her all that hate she felt. She was so desperate to be anywhere than near me that she felt the need to point a gun at me as a threat.

I know in my heart it was nothing more than a scare tactic, she never turned the safety off and this girl, my girl, knows guns.

“C’mon man, come inside,” Julian suggests as he holds his door open for me.

My feet bring me to his gray polyester, too stiff couch. I lean forward, putting my head in my hands.

I swear to god I will die of heartbreak if she’s at that prick Chase’s house again, but I know Millie, that would be too obvious of a find, I know she can’t be there.

“I need to find her,” I say desperately.

“We’ll find her X, she just needs time,” Julian sympathizes.

“No! I need to find her right fucking now!” I spit out.

“My man, she pointed a fucking gun in your face, I don’t think she wants to be found right now.” He says so matter of fact.

I slam my fists on the wooden coffee table causing a vibration, “I said no!” I yell out half in frustration, half in pain, causing the glass of Millie’s iPhone to plunge deeper into my skin.

“Get Stephanie,” I say between clenched teeth.

“No, I’m not getting her anymore involved X.” Julian quietly but sternly tells me.

“Get her now Julian or so help me god,” I threaten.

“X…” he trails off.

“NOW!” I scream out losing my shit.

“Dude, chill, alright I’ll go get her, but pull your shit together in front of her, you will not speak to her the way you’re speaking to me,” Julian demands.

I hate them right now, I hate that they’re doing so well, and although they’re not rubbing it in my face in any way, it sure fucking feels like it when the other half of me is gone.

Julian leaves to get Stephanie a minute later and it’s the first time I’m alone in days, it’s the first time I’m alone since my heart feels as though it has become immobile and accelerated all at the same time.

I sit with my hands and head in their previous position and pathetically let warm salty tears run down my face and onto Julian’s hardwood floors that I inflicted on myself.

I sit and think about the excruciating pain I caused to the woman I love. She’s hurting right now because of me and I can’t even protect her or save her from the damage I’ve done.

Julian disrupts my thoughts by barging through the door, “Dude, X, she’s not there. Mia said she left about a half hour ago with her car.”

No, the fuck she didn’t.