Extreme Poverty
Our story begins from the days of my grandfather S. Hakim Singh of Bhutta Nau. To the best of my calculations, he was born in 1843. He married my grandmother Smt. Lachhmi Devi in the year 1893 at the age of 50 years when she was only 22 years old. My grandmother had narrated to my father the status of women during the said era stating that they (women) used to be badly trodden and treated like dumb animals. There were other traditions, for example, the girl was required to shed tears (real or otherwise) when her marriage was announced in the family in her presence. Talking about or mentioning anything related to her ensuing marriage was considered to be a reflection against her character. Besides, she was not even permitted to see her to-be husband before the marriage, or express her opinion in the matter even if she was aware of the facts against him, such as his looks, source of livelihood or even his habits. My grandmother was well aware of my grandfather’s age even. She was no stranger to the abject financial condition of my grandfather, because of which he could not even afford
to pay one rupee towards rent for the horse ride at his marriage procession. But as per the traditions and customs, she was not at all in a position to express her concern about her future married life to any member of her family.
My grandmother had further revealed to my father how one of the intimate friends of my grandfather gave him his horse and asked him to treat the charges as a marriage gift. However, he was still not lucky enough to enjoy the ride since his ailing elderly father (my great grandfather Ram Chand) was carried on that horse while my grandfather reached the bride’s house on foot.
After a year, my great grandfather Ram Chand passed away. There were no funds at all for performing his death rituals and consigning his last remains to Haridwar as the last rites. Consequently, the immersion had to be deferred for some time. After a period of another six years, my grandfather Hakim Singh also breathed his last, and my young grandmother was left a widow with three children, viz. my father Sant Singh (3 years), my aunt Lakhmi Devi (5 years), and my uncle Lakhmi Dass (1 year). However, the never-say-die spirit of my grandmother prepared her to face all tough situations. Her two major responsibilities were (1) to dispose off the last remains of the two members of her family in Haridwar and (2) to take care of the family since she was not left with any patrimony after my grandfather’s demise.
In order to generate funds to be able to dispatch the last remains, my grandmother had to sell off some household items like hand woven bed sheets
(‘KHES’ in Punjabi) and other household items. She then deputed her Brother-in-law Musaddi Lal to perform the last rites at Haridwar. On his way, he ran short of funds and, consequently, had to walk up to Lahore (about 100 miles from Bhutta Nau) on foot and then catch the train to reach Haridwar. This shows my grandmother’s patience and strong will power in successfully shouldering all family responsibilities.
My grandmother, thereafter, managed her life without approaching either her in-laws or parents for help. Subsequently, when my father turned 7 years old, she took a tough decision of sending him to work as a domestic servant. During this time, she too had chosen to work in the cotton fields for plucking the ripened cotton balls as a laborer besides cotton yarn spinning. Subsequently, she would get the thread converted into bed sheets (KHES) from the weavers. All this had helped her to feed the family during the intervening period before deploying my father to work as a domestic servant.
Life as a Domestic Servant
During my childhood days, I am lucky to have shared my bed with my revered late father. He used to wake up at 4 a.m. every day to recite Gurbani (prayers), which I enjoyed listening.
One day, my father told me about one of his childhood incidents. He narrated that at the age of 7
years, his mother deputed him as a Mahant’s (a Hindu religious person) servant to carry his baggage from one village to the other. He was also asked to massage his limbs. and was paid merely Rs. 2 per month. The Mahant used to unduly scold him frequently.
One afternoon, when the Mahant was enjoying rest after sleeping, my father too fell asleep while massaging his limbs. When the Mahant woke up, he took out a stick and hit my child father hard on the forehead. He was badly hurt and started bleeding. He cried a lot and subsequently, on finding an opportunity, slipped away later in the night. He crossed the fields amid heavy rains and returned home. On seeing his condition, my grandmother was aggrieved. Consequently, he stopped going with the Mahant thereafter and instead did domestic jobs like cleaning utensils and dirty clothes in various houses. He was so dedicated to his work that once while washing the utensils at a nearby canal, he jumped into the chilled water to get a tray that had accidently fallen into it. He was almost unconscious for a while.
My father further narrated that at a later age, he was deputed with petty cloth vendors touring all over India. At such a tender age, he had to deal with such harsh situations so that he could meet his family requirements.
