Finding Isla

No part of my story ‘Finding Isla’ may be copied or re written in any way or from any one else either then Bries93 which is me!

I own the rights to this story so please don’t try and copy it in any way.

This book is a complete work of fiction and any similarities to names or people is ment for the asthetic of the book and nothing else.

Thank you!

.............

Isla:

Im beginning to think my new friend, insomnia, may not be so friendly. I can’t yet decide. Haven’t spent enough time with it to figure it out yet. Don't care to find out either.

Head throbbing from a migraine thats formed behind my eyes. Maybe its from the astronomical amount of tears I’ve shed almost all night? Maybe the lack of water consumed playing a role? Either way its an awful feeling and the ache is causing my stomach to be queasy. Lucky me! The icing on the cake, if you will.

You would think being at a place where I call home, cradled by my favorite sherpa blanket would bring me some solitude. Just enough to calm a broken heart. But in my case, it's not working.

These four walls tell a story and once upon a time, I thought I found my ever after.

This little apartment was one of the reasons I even considered moving back to my home town in the first place. The area is quaint and the apartment is old and small but I like the way it felt in here until this, stupid day. A sad smile trumps my face, I needed to get up.

Throwing the thick blanket off my body, my skin pebbles from the cold chill, my overheated body clings to its cold embrace. Thanking it for calming the embers.

Stretching my arms above my head, slowing craning my neck towards the clock. Hoping the time was still decent enough for sleep or at least close enough for the skies to be painted once again with shades of blue. But unfortunately for me. Time wasn’t on my side, either tonight.

Three in the morning is the perfect time to be awake. When you’ve been awake for almost twenty four hours, right?

Grabbing the half drank wine cooler still sitting next to the picture of us on the nightstand. My heart starts to crack all over again: Both of us are smiling and Nick has his arms wrapped around me from behind while his chin lays on the top of my head. It was our first trip together.

Fuck it, burns.

“Cheers you bastard.” I grit out, trying to hold to tears at bay.

Clinking my glass to the picture frame. Maybe a little too hard, as it falls to the floor but doesn’t brake. Rolling my eyes as I was semi hoping it would shatter, so throwing it away would be easier, but no.

Putting the bottle to my lips, the smell of oranges hits me square in the nose. A smell some find palatable but I find it nauseating.

When my coworker gave me a pack of six of these orange malt beverages for my birthday, Two months back. I couldn’t tell them I disliked the flavor. No, instead I told them I loved the putrid orange flavor. Took them home and they sat in the back of my fridge, forgotten ever sense, until tonight.

The burn of the alcohol is welcomed. While the taste is not.

The drink is warm and the orange taste reminds me of children’s cough syrup, instead of the fresh squeezed taste, I was promised.

Putting the off-putting drink back in its original place to be forgotten about until tomorrow, when I throw it away. My motions are halted to a stop when I catch a glimpse of my appearance in the mirror across the room. Starring back at me is supposed to be my reflection. But to me. She’s someone I don’t quite recognize.

The Isla, Im used to seeing looks of sunshine and this one reminds me of a void. My usual vibrant skin is now blotchy and dull, My once bright blue eyes are red and rimmed with streaks of mascara that came tumbling down awhile ago, just haven't cleaned it off yet. Too many hours spent sitting here reading between the lines of my life trying to figure out where it all went wrong.

I always thought, I was an okay judge of character. But apparently, I am fucking terrible at it.

This Isla starring back am me. Is, broken.

I let someone, I thought would be my forever, sink his claws in deep. Just for him, to rip them out in the end.

Throwing my exasperated body back down on the plush blanket, My eyes start to feel heavy from the hours spent awake and mind hazy from the alcohol currently sitting in my belly. I feel the lull of sleep trying to pull me under. Desperate for sleep to sweep me out to sea. A few hours, is all I need. Just want to move past this day.

I hate it.

Hate that I was so focused on pleasing Nick and making him happy, I failed to see any signs.

No, I had to walk in on it to see it.

The man I loved, starring at me with guilt slapped right across his forehead, labeled prettily in red. With a petite little brunette between his legs. Also didn’t know, I’d end up competing for my man. Apparently with his side piece being, someone I knew of.

8 hours earlier:

Deciding instead of going straight home from the long day, Knowing Nick is at home, with the flu, doesn’t sit well with me. I am his fiancé after all.

After having a long week, working on a project for the small marketing company I work for. Thankful, that today. It's finally over. My legs are screaming at me to sit down. But I will! Once I check on him in person, to make sure, he is doing okay.

Nick lives about thirty-five minutes in the opposite direction away from my apartment and the bar, we’ve been together for two years and Nick has always lived in the same place for the last five years. I on the other hand, find enjoyment in moving into a new area and or a different city every couple years a chore yes. But I just haven’t quite found a place that has felt like home.

Something to call my own, that I actually like. Maybe it’s me.

Both deciding to live seperately until my lease ends, which is in just a few weeks. After it ends. Im supposed to move into his place.

He needs the space, apparently.

His words not mine.

Unfortunately for me, Nick doesn’t want to move from his apartment quite yet. “Its my home.” He says every time Ive asked, why we don’t move some place new.

So i’m stuck.

Living in a home, I don’t really like, with white furniture to match his white walls, with his white carpet. The house looks cold and too perfect. It has no warmth about it whatsoever. But he is the man I love and the we all have to bend a little in a relationship, right? Even though i’m doing the ninety five percent of the bending while he does maybe five?

After a long ride to his side of town. His all white matching building comes into view, the six story building is modern and upscale, to match the people that live here. I am, not one of those people.

The main floor lays empty and completely still as it is later in the even and tomorrow is Monday.

Deciding to take the elevator up to the sixth floor sounds like a much better idea, then climbing six flights of stairs in heels. The doors of the elevator slide open and I slide in, pressing his floor button. The elevator whirls to life and my stomach flutters from the rising sensation.

Before I have even enough time to settle, my stomach. The doors slide open after a ping is heard, letting me know i’ve reached his floor. Making my way to his apartment, realizing I don’t have his apartment key on me, not wanting to wake him if he’s asleep. I instead lift the flap of his sign that reads his flat number to reveal a little compartment, where he keeps his spare key.

Thanking the sky’s that its still there, gently unlocking and opening the door not wanting to startle him, im met by a trail of clothing starting from the entrance and haphazardly thrown about the apartment, the air smells musty and the noises coming from the closed bedroom tell me everything I never thought Id go through with him.

Gulping down the bile thats pushing its way up my throat, taking slow steps closer to his bedroom door.

I can hear someone roaring loudly followed by a males voice “suck my dick so good don’t you?” All alarm bells go off in my head.

Slowly opening the door, the picture comes in full view. Completely Crushed and heartbroken.

I see the man, I was suppose to marry. The man I gave my soul too. Sitting on the edge of his bed; Pants to his ankles, with a petite woman sat between his legs. Naked, sucking him off deeply-while Nick is pushing the girls head farther down his length with one hand while the other is tightly grabbing the fabric of the sheets of his wrinkled bed.

Both completely unaware of my presence in the room. I take in the sight in front of myself completely gobsmacked at the fact that, im not lucid dreaming right now.

Feeling like I’ve had just about enough when nick tells her “Good girl.” I just about explode.

“What the fuck is going on here?” I scream

Both of them jerk there heads in my direction.

Nick throws the woman out of his way. Stands straight up, doesn’t even bother to cover up while he does so. Dick out in all its glory: remnants of whip cream being used at some point still present in-between his thighs.

“Isla baby?”

Isla baby?

Boys got to be out of his mind if he thinks i’m anything of the such.

“You know Felicity, right?” He says to me as he uses both hands to pull up his pants while pointing his chin and eyes in the woman’s direction, that is currently seen, trying to gather her things as fast as possible, to scurry out the door.

Felicity?

Looking away from him to get a good like at the girl he was being sucked off by, noticing right away, it's of course one of his so called 'friends' from high school. I vaguely remember meeting her once. A few months back at the pub- him and his friends meet up at every Friday, for a pint. Of course. The one time I do actually go out with him, is also two days after, she decided to move here too and they were out as group celebrating her return. Met her, after she came back from living in Paris, as a model for the last year. He always reassured me, she was not into men and that she had a long distance relationship with a women in Paris. So me being me, I never thought anything of it. I always trusted Nick.

What a low thing to do.

My stomach sink and tears try to push their way to the forefront but I whisk them away.

“How could you do this?”

He goes to open his mouth to respond but no words come out.

Not even giving him the time of day to respond or throw me some lame excuse, I decide to leave.

“We are done, Nick!” I hissed out. Hoping this moment haunts him for years to come.

Turning myself around the other way. Making sure to close the door the 'right' way this time, when I exit. Letting it slam shut behind me, when I close it.

...........

Insomnia:0 Isla:1

The morning sun peaks through my curtains, the light is reflecting off my shut eyes, stirring me from my much needed sleep cut to short.

At some point last night, it looks like the exhaustion finally won and I was able to sleep.

Grabbing my phone. I am met by two texts from the one we shall not speak of anymore and three phone calls and a very long text from Ruby, My best friend.

Rubbing my still tired eyes and trying to focus in on the present. I gently take my fingers to wipe away any remnants of mascara from the day before away from my cheeks.

Completely unlike myself, really. But last night wasn't like the others.

Turning the phone screen off, my reflection stares back at me: Hair disheveled. The bun I put it up in yesterday, now is a very sad looking mess of a mop, on the left side of my head - Scrunchie barely holding the hair in place. Bangs in an un-tame able mess, in front of my eyes.

I scoff at my reflection and throw my phone onto my comforter, face up.

Taking the hair tie from my hair, I take my hands and gather all the hairs as best I can and put my hair back in a quick bun.

The phone I just threw down on my bed, starts to vibrate. Trailing my eyes down to the phone in question, to see who is calling. I stop in my tracks

Ruby, my best friend is trying to FaceTime me.

Not really caring about what I look like, I answer her call.

Clearing the lump from my throat, I know no matter what she will see through me. See through my fake facade trying to be strong, while on the inside, i'm anything but.

Pressing the accept button, I am met by two doe brown eyes, staring back at me. Her arms are crossed and she has her concerned face on. Left eyebrow slightly lifted higher than the right and a frown to match, Her brown hair is tied up in a ponytail and her face is bare of any makeup, telling me she just got up herself.

"Tell me." she says to me softly. Like approaching a baby deer in the forest, she tip-toed around me delicately. Aware if she startles me, in anyway. She fears, I may bolt or worse- keep everything wound up tightly inside of me. Until, I burst.

Knowing my best friend of basically all my life, I let everything bubbling to the surface, spill over.

Like a good friend, Ruby sits and watches me silently, listening as I tell her everything.

“I should of known Rube's.” I tell her defeated “All the signs were there." Taking the back of my sleeves to catch, the tears falling down both cheeks, plentiful.

“Narcissists do it best girl.” She says while I watch her, move herself in a seated position: feet in front of her, while her chin rests on her knees. Worry painted on her face. Sighing quickly “That’s what they are best at. Getting what they want and once they do they move on.” she says to me

“What do I do?” Feeling lost and alone. No longer feeling like this city, where him and I have made memories together, A place. I told myself maybe someday I could potentially call this city, home.

That day is now, somewhere I want to be far, far away from.

I never wanted to live close to where I grew up. Thats why I moved around a bit for the first few years of my adult life. But ultimately came back here two years ago to visit my parents for a few weeks, during Christmas. Never thinking of actually coming back here for good. But all it took was one date after a high school friend of mine I met for coffee. Set us up on a blind date saying ” Him and I would be so compatible.”

Yeah, right. I thought it was ridiculous.

After one date, I was hooked. So silly of me, right?

He knew what to say and how to do things to get me addicted to him. Was smooth and had a knack for small talk.

I finally thought I had found my someone. No ones ever gotten close enough to give me butterflies before him.

I mean, I also, never let anyone that close before. Usually a girl who believe trust is to be earned not given. So why did I blindly trust, him?

I was ready and beyond excited to uproot my life and move back home to good old rainy, Seattle. Into a studio apartment, on an okays part of town just so we could continue to grow our relationship.

After only knowing each other for a few months. Crazy, right?

Now with nothing keeping me here, I knew I not only wanted to leave, instead I felt as though I needed to leave.

Moving back home wasn’t on my bucket list but two years ago, we tried the long distance relationship for the beginning and it was fine-ish. But I wanted to be closer to him.

Thought him and I could pass the test of time.

Even the way he looked at me, I swore his eyes held want and love for me. Eyes twinkling with stars illuminated in them when he looks at me. But in reality, it was stones being illuminated by glow sticks instead, and the look in his eyes was of cowardliness and lies. This man felt foreign now, almost like a stranger.

“What you do, Is find you.” She says to me with a soft sad smile painted on her lipgloss lined lips. “Come and live with me instead.”

“You really want me to live with you?”

“Why wouldnt I?” A frown settles on her face and her eyebrows are pinched in confusion. “Isla, you’re my sister practically, of course I Want you too. She says to me shrugging her shoulders.

“This is your chance babe,” she quietly adds. "And I know you’ll just love it in Boston. Plus. I have that extra bedroom, since my roommate moved out five months ago.”

Thankfully for Me. Ive always been good at saving, so its within my budget to get there and settle in just fine. "I’ll do it girl, as long as you’ll have me."

Her smile grows larger in size and she squeals so loudly through the speaker I know my neighbors had to of heard her.

“Of course, babe! You’d do the same for me.”

She’s right of course, Id give her the last dollar in my pocket or the jacket off my back and I know in return, ruby would do the same. Friendship like ours, was hard to come by and I was thankful for her.

First chapter!!

Thank you everyone for reading and I hope you enjoy!

Love you ♥

Bries93